Happy New Years

I hope you all had a great new years eve and having a great day with friends and family today.

Did you make any resolutions this year? What are they? Do you normally accomplish them? What revolutions from last year have you accomplished?

The Really You Season 1—–Game 5

Here is this weeks round of The Really You

What is the silliest thing you have heard people say about you?

That I look mean and unapproachable, I have heard this from a few different people. Some who I probably would of never got to know if I hadn’t approached them first.

I met bff at my kids school her daughter was in my son’s class. I use to see her in the car line all the time. Then I seen something she had at her house as she lived very close by. I stopped her one day and asked her about it. We just started talking and have become friends from there. Years later she told me when she seen me at the school and in the car line I looked really mean or tough.

I asked her what that meant she said you just looked like someone that didn’t put up with no shit and didn’t want to be bothered by no one. It’s kind of true but your fun as hell and cool once you get to know you and don’t piss you off lol.

I had others say the same kind of things. I just tell them sorry this is my face or it keeps the weak away.

Which of your personality traits has been the most useful?

Responsibility I would have to say probably has helped me the most. Because people can depend on me and know that they can. This gives me advantages at jobs and things.

 

Are you a early bird or a night owl?

100% night owl all the way. When I am home and don’t have unwanted people staying with me I will be up cleaning, cooking, watching tv, going to the store or anything else that needs to be done or I want to do all hours of the night. I have said for years I would love to live in Alaska where it stays dark for 6 months and everyone goes on with life as normal. I would love if we lived life backwards and slept during the day and was up at night.

No matter how many months days or years I have to get up and be at work, have kids at school or what I have to do in the mornings it is a struggle and I hate getting up no matter how much sleep I have had or haven’t had.

A Job Opening

I have been sitting on an application that is all filled out and ready to be turned in. I picked this application up Monday filled it all out and typed up a letter to go with it. I was already to turn it in Tuesday but never did. I keep second guessing myself and wondering if it is the right thing to do. I keep weighing the pros and cons of it all. One minute I think turn it in check it out if you get called, it don’t mean you have to take it. See what they are offering and decide from there. Another part says don’t turn it in if your not going to take it so you can apply there later. But I really want to see if I have the chance at it and what they have to offer if they offer it so I can decide. But I also know if they call and offer I am going to want to just jump and take it.

The new job is at a youth shelter for run a ways and other teens. They have a school and I am not sure what all there anymore as they have made changes over the last few years. I would be a direct care giver for the teens in the shelter. They say they have all shifts open, 6am-2pm, 2pm- 10pm and 10pm to 7am. They have full and part time open right now as well. I would apply for the 6 am to 2 pm shift so that I can keep my evening job because I would still need two jobs to make it. That would give me full time as well.

This mew job would be great because it would give me between 2-4:30/5 to pick up my little ones from school get their homework done, make them dinner and have that time with them each day. It would give me that break in between my night job and day job. I wouldn’t be doing 12 to 14 hours straight. It is $1 more an hour than my day job now. I am hoping with my schooling that I would get a little more than a $1 more. It would give me hands on experience and I would get training as well. It goes along with Social work that I have been studying in school. I want to work with teens, teen parents, and addiction when I finish with school. I am sure there is room with advancement there as well as I move through school and get more certificates and my degree.

But with this new position comes weekends and holidays, not being able to come and go as I need to. I would miss the kids awards at school and other school functions, field trips, and that kind of thing. I am not sure of all this but knowing it is a 24/7 shelter, you are working with kids who need taken care of, and that there are other people who you are working with. Unlike my day job now, it is just me and the owners, I just let them know I am going to be late, taking off or not coming in at all. That I have this or that at the school. We either open late, close or close early if someone can’t be here. Most the time Pops or one of the guys can be here or most the time. I can’t take the kids with me to work like I can here if I need to. I can’t say hey we are closing for this or that holiday. We again have kids there that need taken care of we have to be there. There is a lot of other employee’s to worry about and work around as well as myself.

I think about all that and I can’t see leaving here. But here I am making $1 less an hour. I am 1099 over there they would take out taxes I wouldn’t have to worry about all that. This is in the field I want to get into, I am trying to go back to school once I get my tax money next year since I have to pay out of pocket. But then i am going to be busy there all the time during the day where as where I am now I have time I could work on my school work and they wouldn’t care. Other than that and some at my night job I really wouldn’t’ have time to work on it. So if I can’t work on it during the day some I don’t know when I would. I know that the other job has a high turn over rate, because it isn’t great pay, you do have the chance of working weekends holidays and you are dealing with delinquent teens. I don’t know how they are as far as to work for or anything like that. I may look on line see what kind of things are being said. Hadn’t thought of that.

I keep thinking am I just making excuses? Why not jump and take it? This is a good chance. I tell myself maybe just wait and apply in a few months. I wonder why they have so many openings right now? Most the time they have one or two here and there. Not every shift full and part time.

I think my biggest thing is if something happens where will I end up? I won’t have this job to come back to because it will be filled. No one is going to give this job up and who is to say they would take me back if it was open or they didn’t like the person who was here? I have worked at a lot of places twice and been called back to some even after that. But it is bigger places they have more employees and things. I think they would probably take me back if I gave them notice which I would and they didn’t have someone. But that isn’t’ likely to happen. I have thought about asking for a raise and and some other things and if I get it then just staying here. The raise would give me the more an hour plus take into consideration that I am 1099 and wouldn’t be over there. I was thinking about asking to go to salary not hourly so that I would be paid no mater what. I took that into consideration when considering the 1099 factor too. Trying to find a fair balance for me and them. Also something do able for them and things because we are a small place. That is one reason I feel I should see what they are offering over at the other job as well before I figure out what to do if they will give me more since I have my schooling and things. I even thought they may have another opening other than direct care giver that I could do since I do have training, schooling and going to be in school.

So many things to consider and figure out and decide. I keep thinking if I don’t turn it in they are going to have them filled by the time I do. But then again I figure if they are then it wasn’t meant to be and that if it is meant to be I will get called whenever I turn it in.

If I didn’t like my job here and didn’t have the leeway that I do I would have my application in already. If it was enough pay that I only had to work one job I would be as well too.

So many things to to consider figure out so I can make a decision. I guess I have to get off here close up and get to my night job. If I leave much later I won’t be able to get out of the parking lot or over the bridge for 10 or 15 minutes. It’s funny how a few minutes make such a difference in traffic.

Where Has This Year Gone

I had to stop and look for the date today for something I was doing. It is not anything that I do not do everyday but I had to really think about what month it was and when I had last talk to or responded to a client we are trying to set an account up for. It had been the end of March start of April when I talk to them last. I thought oh it has been a month. Then it hit me no we are half way into June just about.

I do not know where this last few months has went. As I write this and think about it, since I have started this job it seems as if I have lost a chunk of time. I think because get up go to work, leave go to job 2 and then go home and pretty much walk in and go to bed. Just to do it all over the next day and the next until the weekend gets here.

My day’s, week’s and months are just ran together. Even if you deal with the date everyday until you really stop and think about it you do not notice how much of it is gone.

A Long Slow Day

I have had two people come into work today and that is it. I have had two maybe three phone calls. I have made my calls and lined up the other appointment’s we needed for tomorrow. All that took about 15 minutes or less out of the 5 hours I have been here today.

I have spent most the day on here catching up on reading blogs because boy I was way farther behind than I thought on reading. I have written a few post and have a few more I am working on. Right now I am writing this and holding on the phone for child support enforcement to answer. They keep showing that they are sending papers to Father of the Years employer and of course and he is saying he isn’t working there and they show he isn’t earning wages at all right now. Funny he isn’t how is he paying rent and why is he driving a company truck and wearing their shirts? I knew this is what it would come down to, he already said he would do this no big surprise to me. I just hope that when he walks into court they decide to throw him in jail and let him figure out how to get out of that one. Let mommy and daddy or his not boss come off some money and bail him out. Because whatever they have to pay to get him out comes to me. At this point I don’t care who pays it. They all want to take up for him and hide him, lie for him protect him and don’t care about the kids involved then let them pay it.

I am holding with them mostly to find out what is going on with mine and RC’s case because it don’t show any actions have been taken on it. I mailed them paper work back the other day so something should happen soon. I also want to know if they plan to go after Father of the Year or just straight to RC since our divorce papers show that he isn’t the father. That is why I called but I also want to know what is going to happen in court when we go next month since everyone is lying and saying he isn’t working.

Oh joy they should be answering any minute now, they said my wait time is less than 20 minutes and I have been waiting 17.5 so far. I just hope they are helpful and I get some answers. It is always a hit and miss when talking to them rather you will get someone helpful or not. I don’t have time to go down there and take time off work to ask simple questions that I have. Before they wouldn’t tell you anything they tell you to come in they can’t give out information over the phone. Last time they talked to me and gave me information so maybe I will get lucky again. If they don’t want to give me information I am going to ask for a supervisor and tell them just that, I can’t afford to take off work and come down there to ask a couple simple questions and get information or find out why my case is at a stand still and get you all to get on the ball. Someone needs to give me some information and answer my questions.

I still have to go to my other job tonight when I finally get off here. I have to try to get there a few minutes early and talk to the owner. I am going to ask him if I can take off Thursday night. It is Little Bitty’s birthday and I told her we would go to the fair.

I got into it with the Bitch this morning about it. She asked me if I was getting off early for her birthday. I told her I only plan to go to the one job not both. She said why or something. I said because I promised her I would take her and it is her birthday. She says oh so you don’t plan to stay there either? (only 25 minutes and they have answered) You already something, in other words to lazy to do it or not willing to do it. I said no I don’t I plan to keep it and be there for a while.  Then she starts how they aren’t going to like it that I haven’t been there long and I am taking off to take my kid to the fair and blah blah. I don’t think they are really going to care because they are about family  and they know that I am the only one that is there for my kids and that when it comes down to it there are somethings that they come first and I do or have to do. That is why I took this job because it gives me some space to be able to take off and be there for them. It isn’t often and I let them know ahead of time not the last minute. Right now they have the other guy there to cover me. If it is a problem then I would rather find out now than later. Because if it is a problem then maybe I do need to find another job.

Well I talked to child support and they said to bring the pictures I have of Father of The Year working and all that. They also said they had sent payroll forms to 10 different employers that said he isn’t working for them and that they just sent a new one out the 7th of March. I asked if it was his current employer and he said he can’t tell me that. I am the one that sent them the information and told them where he was working and everything but they can’t tell me if they sent him a form and what he said. Got to love these people. I guess to protect their privacy but as far as I am concerned they have none if they are not paying for their kids and doing what they need to be and the employer is covering for them. They said they have not received the papers I mailed back yet but that they give 7 to 10 business days to get it then however long they take to get it into the computer. He said once they get it the next step is to call everyone in for the DNA test. I asked if they are going to call father of the year in or not he said that he hasn’t been ruled out because of the way the judge did the paperwork. He said that they will have to call everyone to court and show that he isn’t. But that right now they are going after RC so hopefully they won’t have to go after Father of The Year. Because the lady told me if they were going to go after him they would go after him not RC until he was proven not to be. So I am hoping that he is out of it now since they are going after RC and they don’t later try to drag him back into it. But I would say if they are going to call RC for DNA test it will show that he is the father they shouldn’t have to call the other one in at all. It’s just one more thing to deal with. I already have to miss work for court, the dna test and court with him. I don’t need to be missing work to go to court or what over something that I already addressed when I should of and now have to go back and fix the judges mistakes.

Well the good news is between being back on here and dealing with child support it is now 4pm and I only have about 50 minutes before I can leave and head to my other job.

I Made My Sleep Issues

As you all know I have a hard time sleeping at night. It takes me forever to fall a sleep and then I am up and down most of them. But then come day light I can sleep like a rock. I know I have said on here before if I had someone just to sleep with I would sleep better and at night. How odd it is.

I was laying here in bed thinking about it, why can I sleep a lone in the day just fine but not at night? Way back when me and father of the year first started having problems when I was pregnant with my 2nd is how this came about. There would be nights I just could not get comfortable in the bed with him there. I ask him sleep on the couch just for the night once in a while. He get mad and not do it we had a small bed at the time. So not a lot of room. I got to where I would stay up at night watch tv or do stuff on the computer until he got up to go to work. Then go lay down and sleep for a while.

When things started getting bad between us I didn’t want to be around him, him touching me or trying anything. So again when it was bad I would stay up until he went to work kids went to school and go home and sleep. It was that way for years.

The times I did sleep good at night over the years were when I was with someone who I had a good realtionship with and we would go to bed together happy and I would sleep good. When I would sleep in the day I was ok with being alone.

I guess subconsciously I have just associated sleeping alone is ok in the day but at night I need someone there. I have tried to change this thought but it hasn’t happened. I think part of it is because that is when everything is calm, kids are in bed and I have time to spend time with someone and there is no one so I feel alone.

When I was with R.C we would sit and talk at night really take time and spend with eachother and catch up or just to connect. Then we would go to bed together.

When me and father of the year got together it was like that too. We always went to bed together and I slept good. Until we started having problems.

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