{September 11, 2019}   Job On My Mind Still

I have been thinking about that job a lot the last few days. I had decided it had been filled and probably wasn’t a good idea right now. But then I seen it listed again yesterday or over the weekend and they still have all shifts open. So I could probably walk into the 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift with no problem.

I was thinking today how much I am missing out with the kids even if it is just a few hours after school doing baths and bed. I was thinking how nice it would be to have that break in the middle of the day with them.

But then I think about most likely giving up my weekends, holidays and things. I just don’t know.

But it was nice seeing the kids last week when I was off and just playing and relaxing with them. Today when I droppped them off at school and said I will see you tomorrow. I just had this sick feeling.

Its so hard to know what to do. What is right or wrong.

I keep thinking like I was before apply see what they offer. But then if they make an offer and I don’t think it is going to work how do I decline and not burn a bridge in case I want to go there later? If I take it how do I tell the guys what is going on and that I am leaving?

Then I keep thinking maybe it’s a sign and I need to go for it. Stop being scared and just make the leap.

{August 26, 2019}   Keep it to Yourself

Today Pop’s came in at my day job and did somethings I needed done. He took a break and came in and talked for a bit.

He asked if I had turned in my job application yet?

I told him no I was thinking about waiting until at least the first of the year before I turned it in.

He told me to keep that to myself.

I said what?

He said don’t tell the guys you aren’t or you may not.

I told him I wasn’t sure, that I was pretty set on waiting and I was. But then Little Bitty said something this morning and now I and second guessing myself again.

He said well I said something to the guys about you applying.

I thought oh great this isn’t good.

He said they are working on something for you. He said just wait don’t do anything and see what they offer you.

I thought it was a little odd when he was in there working I went and was talking to him. He askes me if the guys were out? I told him one was.

He asked if his son was or had been in? I said no he wasn’t and I hadn’t seen him much lately. He said oh not even Friday?

I said I seen him Friday for a minute he had a busy day he ran in paid me and went out for the day. He seemed surprised or like he was waiting on me to tell him some thing I felt like. But didn’t know what. I think maybe that was it he thought they would of made an offer then. Or told me what they were thinking.

I was thinking I would wait because of the holidays and things. You know how it is the new guy gets the crap days holiday and all that. I don’t want to be working the holidays right now. I want to school I am not sure I can work that job and my night job and do that.

But then Little Bitty said this morning. I wish you were here to pick us up at school and see us after school. That just killed me. I miss them so much and wish I could be there more. But I really can’t do it without the extra money two jobs gives me.

Now I am thinking about going ahead and applying and seeing what happen again. I am also worried about having to work six or seven days a week again since this other place is 7 days a week. Ugh mom life and figuring out that balance and just the right thing to do.

I think today maybe one of the slowest I have ever had in my life. Not that anything has happened or I am looking foward to something coming up to cause it to seem that way. It’s just been a very slow day. In two days at my day job I have had 3 customers maybe. Plus called my places. Yesterday I was done with all my work with in a half hour or hour. The rest of the day I sat there. Watched netflix and did things on the computer. Sat on the phone an hour on hold that’s about it.

I am at my night job it has been normal day to day stuff. Took me a bit to finish my work here but now I am done and waiting for 9 so I can hopefully clock out and go somewhere. I have 7 minutes. Unless I end up staying later for some reason. I am so tired right now I can hardly hold my eyes open from doing stuff on the computer then reading and doing this on my phone.

I would love to go out have a couple drinks just relax for a bit but everyone seems busy or already doing something.

{March 13, 2019}   I Got The Job

Tuesday morning at 8:30. I go up and got ready and headed down there a little after 7:30. I wasn’t sure how the drive was going to be going down there seeing as it would be work traffic and school traffic. I was a little worried I was going to be late because of it. I ended up getting on 95 at my exit instead of the one I planed to use. I thought on the way there that that the way I was going to go I would run into 3 school zones.

I ended up getting there at 8:10 and going in shortly after that. I was in before 8:15. I went in and told them I was there for an interview they asked with who? I told them and she said oh, he isn’t even here. I said well it isn’t until 8:30, I am early. She said let me text him and remind him. He showed up about 8:40 a.m. He took me in and we talked for a while.

They transport mostly seafood in and out of the state. They travel to 30 states doing this. He said they have a big mix of guys mostly family guys. He said some have some impairments and things. He said we are a group of misfits really. Then he says tell me about you. I picked you because you have such an assortment of jobs and training. Bail bonds, dv services, sales and repo. You seem like you are or would be good fit here with our array of different people. I never really got to tell him anything about myself because he went on talking from there. (Interviews with guys are so easy. Because they do talk so much. You don’t have to say much they ask something and keep talking or answer their own questions.) Anyway when we first went in he said your a busy women, working two jobs. How long have you been doing that? I said um forever. I laughed and said well about three years.

He said aomething. I didn’t want to say it but I finally did. I had a pretty good feel for him. I said the thing is I am a single mom of 4 kids and I do it all on my own I get no child support or help. So I have to in order to get by. So I am use to it, it is not something I am just starting or trying or doing for the time being. I have to have two to get by.

He said you seem to be determined and a go getter, well organized. He said I can place an add looking for help and get tons of responses but not a lot with substance. He said why sometimes I like to just go look at resumes people have posted putting their self out there. He ask how that was posting like that. I told him not bad you get a lot of do you want to make $100 for an hour or other perverts and things. But that I found the job I am at now that way and one other I did part time for a bit. He said yeah when I call adds like that I make sure to leave my full name and company name things like that. So people know it is a real opportunity.

He gave me the application at the end of the interview told me to fill it out scan and email it back to him he would get the ball rolling on the background check and all that. He said the only thing that will keep you from getting the job would be a felony charge. I said I have none. I have no charges for anything. He said good I just like to be straight and upfront with people. I said no I understand. I asked when he wanted someone to start? He ask how soon I could start? I said how is Monday? He said that would be great.

He said I will have a month to month and a half of training with the person I am replacing. He said he is buying his own truck and going over the road. He said we want to make sure we train you good and figure that in that time just about any situation that could happen or come up probably will. He said if your on your own and something comes up you don’t know or not sure about then you call one of the day shift people or me. I’m always around and don’t mind helping.

He took me and introduced me to the guys that do the job in the day time and the ladies in the front office. Not sure what they do. There are three of them and then his wife does accounts. There were 4 or 5 guys in the back and then there is the one I will be working with he comes in at 2 I think. So, I didn’t meet him yet. The one guy was older 50’s I am guessing. One I am guessing early to mid 30’s and then 3 that are I am guessing mid to late 20s. They look like the Sand Lot or um gosh I can’t think of the other movie, its right there too. Misfits fits them for sure. But it is cool that he gives everyone a chance or considers everyone not just dismiss them because of a impairment or the way they dress, look or what.

When we were talking before he took me out to meet everyone he said it was 25 hours a week $16 an hour. I was figuring what I was making at the car lot maybe $9 for what I am going to be doing. I was trying to decide if it would be worth it to drive 20 miles there and back and in the night. When he said that I was like it will be more than worth it really. I will make more in 25 hours than I make in 35 at my day job. But between the two I should do pretty well. I think they will take away about $170 of the check that I get for my oldest son, but that is okay. I will still be able to keep the bills paid on time and not run a month or two behind, once I get caught up. I will have money I can put away and save as well in case the truck breaks down the kids need things or anything like that.

I went to pick my check  up at the lot and tell them that I was going to be leaving. I didn’t know if I would be finishing out the week or not because I didn’t know how it was going to go when I told them. I picked my check up from Sim and asked if T was in. He said yeah he was upstairs. I went up there knocked on the door and told him I needed to talk to him. I went in and sat down. I just told him I got another job I was going to be starting Monday. He asked if I was or could finish out the week there. I told him yes if he wanted me to I would. I still don’t know if I am going to do Saturday or not. But I have not told them that. He asked if I told Sim I told him no he said he would talk to him and have them put up a listing. I went down and told Sim I just figured I should tell the other first.

The one guy came up when I was talking to Sim we were joking and talking. I said I am going to be night support to the truck drivers who are out and run into problems. The sales guy said yeah the things you are going to be dealing with or they are going to be calling you for was making jokes about having lot lizards in the truck and things. I walked out to the show room and was talking to the girl that does collections and things. We were laughing and joking she said wait your leaving and then the sales guy said wait your leaving it isn’t on your days off or what? I said no it’s Monday through Friday 5-10. I get away from the Saturdays and I get to have two days a week off with my kids and have a life.  They understood. I am sure I am the talk of the lot right now and will be the next few days. No one asked why or anything like that. I have no problem telling them. But if I am going to work the next few days I don’t want to say anything really. If or when they ask I am going to tell them. They don’t like it to bad they need to change things.

I need to find a small truck to drive back and forth. I want to get started and start saving and getting things caught up. I figured out even if I made payments I could pay a few months at a time and get it paid off really quick. But I would rather save and buy something cash outright. I don’t want to make payments. But I need to get something before my truck breaks down and I have to get all that way to and from work. I am thinking about trying to sell mine for whatever I can get and just making payments for a month or two. I don’t know. I have to figure something out.

{November 5, 2018}   Missing Everyone

I have missed reading all of y’alls post and what is going on with everyone. It will probably be another few days before I will get to start catching up. But I promise I will and thank you for sticking around. Getting a new routine down, learning my new job and now changing my just set up routine all around has kept me busy.

Day 5 at my new job and I am still loving it. Last week right away I worked up a system for mapping my routes and keeping track of everywhere I called per an area. But it ended up with me printing 5 to 10 pages an area so 20 to 40 pages a day give or take. I do this everyday.

By Friday I was booked through Wednesday of this week and seeing it was such a waste of paper and ink. Even if I flipped it over printed on the back. It still a lot of paper and ink. I decided to go on office and try to make it so I have to write very little if anything and so I do not have to print. And make my system a little easier to use. I had names and numbers on three sheets and addresses on two listed by letter. I have to cross them to make sure I had the right address.

I found the one thet printed me to use but it was in excel. I have a hard time using it with all the extra grid around you don’t use and the one they made looked very choppy on it. There really wasn’t room for me to add what I needed or how I wanted it.

I went over to word and found a template right away I could add and chang to make just what I wanted. I played with it a while got it just how I wanted. Then played forever with it trying to get it to copy and paste without messing formatting up in the table. I tried everything could not do it.

The guys came in I asked them the one that handles the computer part said he wasn’t sure he tried a few things. He told me the other was there but I showed him I made what I needed just needed a blank copy so I can start new ones each time. He said he would mess with it see if he could get it or make me a new one in excel was telling me how it worked. I told him I knew I just liked this one better it worked better for me.

I asked and founout how to copy the one I made. I knew how I knew it was simple. I just could not remember for the life of me. When I figured it out I was so aggervated.

I got to work this morning and the guys were out. I tried to do stuff with my table it had been locked. I finally got a copy I could edit and things and went to work. The guys called later the one who was going to try and fix it told me he figured away for me to fill if in then delete everything and start over. Not what I was looking for but it would work if it was all we could work out. But the way I figured out to copy the file lets me save each route and list for each area and then open a clean list and start over. This way I can go back call the ones who didn’t need us last time and see if they are ready or the ones I had no answer at or didn’t get to. I think this will be much better and best part nothing printed or hand written.

I got one list made and my ones for the rest of the week started with my first apointments from returning calls from the weekend.

They still seem pleased with me even though i messed up a few calls and appointments by confusing days. This should cut down that issues as well. They didn’t seem mad even though it was over 50 miles from home. But I was tossed in with nothing and told to put all this together. Plus book out Wednesday last week on. I didn’t think I messed up that big but i guess i did. I feel bad but it happens when your learning. They aren’t worried I’m not stressing over it just lnow to watch better now.

I am working Sunday–Friday 10 to 5 and Saturday 9 to 5, plus 6 to close Thursday and Friday nights. I need to see what days we are closed here and see what days I can pick up extra hours at my beach job. I had another job offer today at a bail bonds place. But I had to say no it is day hours when I am at my other job. I don’t want to get burnt out. I like my days and hours set up.

{September 21, 2018}  

Last Saturday me and the girl who works with me were talking. I told her I was looking for a new job. She said if I left she was leaving too. I was mad but did not say anything. Her reason was because they would want her to pick up my hours and she can’t. But I can do mine and pick up hers. But she wasn’t leaving unless I did. I have been thinking about it all week and wanted to say something to the owner but hadn’t. Because I don’t want to be that person but at the sametime I like my job for the most part. I just decided not to say anything becauze I plan to stay unless I just find something that pays a lot more, has better hours and days off and closer to home. Plus I was planing to work both until I banked some money and got caught up if I was able to work them around eachother.

Tonight she called and said she was giving her two week notice she got a new job. So I will be able to pick up a few more hours. I am still trying to find something with better hours, more pay, closer to home and things. I still work both if they are willing to work with me for a while once I find something. I am going to tell them I want to pick my days and hours before anyone new is hired. They can have what is left.

{September 13, 2018}   I Work To Much For Him

After thinking of what I came here to post to start with last night I fell a sleep before I could write the post. I made sure to write down the title before I did so that I would at least know what I planed to wright about.

I was thinking about work and finding a new job and trying to find something that I am not there all the time day and night like I have been with this one. How the kids always want to know if I am going to be there to spend time with them, do something with them or what. How I never have free time for myself. How am I ever going to meet someone when all I do is work and don’t even have time for my kids? Then things Sleeping Beauty has said to me started popping into my head. And there was that ah ha moment.

Sure he has been working on himself and trying to get his life straight. But he has still been making comments and things as well.

When we first started talking I just started the job selling health insurance the second time and was working 14 days straight and going to school and working the shop. I remeber talking to him one evening from the insurance job and something being said about finding him a women. He said he had but she was busy working hard right now or something along those lines. Other times after that he said things about how much I work or when I work. Then the last few weeks we have been talking and things he started making comments about how much I work again. He ask what I was doing this or that night. Then said let me guess working? Then another night. I said I work x,y,z days and then fill in a lot of the others. He said lazy ass. Joking and said call in and take a night off we can go do something.

He is lucky at the shop he worked 8 to 5 Monday-Friday and once in a while over time on Saturday and most the time it was half days. He was off holidays. This job he works 10 to 6 Monday-Friday and right now he is working 9 to 3 Monday-Friday. Again off weekends and Holidays. I don’t have that option right now. I have to take what I can get and make it work. Unfortunately most the time when he is off I am working. I go in at 1 or 2 and work until anywhere from 9:30pm and 2am. So we really don’t have time to get together hardly and with the distance between right now and him not driving makes it even harder.

But he should know that I make time if I have a reason to or need to. He should also know that at some point once I meet someone and we decide it is going to work and we end up living together that I can be a little more picky about what jobs I take and what kind of hours I work. Because then there will be two of us in the house to help take care of bills and needs. I could work less hours maybe.

I think between how far apart we are and my hours vs his has a lot to do with things. Honestly it is one reason I had kind of just forgot about it for a while. I didn’t have time to run back and forth. I did but really did not feel like it. But would of because if you want something you just make it work. I can’t say I blame him but it just sucks. I had pretty much just given up on meeting anyone for the time being. But now I am not working as much maybe things will change I will meet someone or something will happen. That maybe I can find something with decent hours and days.  I don’t think he is looking at it as a bad thing he knows I do what I have to and just trying to get by. But like me looking at it relisticly and figures why add the stress on either side. I figure if it happens it happens if iwe are supposed to be together we will end up that way. If not we will still be friends.

{September 7, 2018}   So Much To Say but Can’t

My mind has been racing like crazy today about anything and everything. I have so many thoughts and things that I am trying to figure out and want to talk about and I just can’t seem to get them straight and put into words.

I am sitting here at work have been for 3 hours now. Haven’t had a phone call or person walk in yet and nothing on the books tonight at all. I have 4 more hours to go and then nothing really to do but bring chairs and tables in shut everything off and lock up.

I am getting a few extra hours tonight but then I am not working tomorrow night so that kind of cancelles everything out. I got here and the boss and the other girl I was supposed to work with was here. Boss said she didn’t really want to close if I wanted to I could pick up extra hours or I could go home because I wasn’t needed. I told him that was fine I would take the extra hours and close tonight because I didn’t know if I was going to make it in tomorrow or not. He said that was fine because we both were not going to be needed tomorrow anyway. One of us would of been called and told not to come in. Most likely her because she leaves early Saturdays and I close. They don’t send the closer home. So we basically just ended up trading days we close because we both would of been cut hours with me going home not working today her not being called in tomorrow. I was here already set to work and nothing to do tonight anyway. So why not let her go do what she wanted with her family and I can do what I want to do tomorrow. I just said I had personal things going on with dealing with ex’s and things. I didn’t know how tomorrow was going to go and there for didn’t know if I would make it in or not. Kind of true kind of not. I may still have to meet with ex tomorrow with the kids. And that could turn out bad and is going to be a lot of stress no matter what. I have been dealing with a lot of stress with everything going on I need a break. And I hope if we end up going out to talk and get some advice.

Boss said he had some days this month he was going to need some help he was going to need me for sure a few days. He said unless you get another job then I understand that you have to be there and honer that first. I said honestly i have been doing interviews this week I have one that I may start in the next week or so. If I do it will be Mon-Sat 9 to 6. He said then you probably are not going to want to keep your Sunday. I said probably not but I have to take it because it is good pay. He said no I understand and you have to do what you have to do for you and your family. He said please just let me know as soon as you do and get with me about working out if you still want to stay on once in a while here. Just do on call in the evening now and then or something like that or what. I told him okay.

{September 1, 2018}   Ready to Walkout

I am sitting here at work and it is taking everything in me to not call the boss tell him I can’t finish the night I got to go and leave. Then not come back.

I knew hours were going to be cut and everything. I was supposed to get that 9 to 2 shift it wouldn’t effect me. Then I didn’t get it. Well mine and the other girls hours were cut by anout a day to day and a half. And are supposed to be more after this week.

Well I am sitting here and look up and there is a note with the other girls new hours she is working 9 hours a week in the 9 to 2 shift I had ask for. I am so fing pissed off right now. They tell me how great im doing how thankful they are for me know i need all the hours i can get do me this way.

If I didn’t have the boys bday coming up in a couple weeks and wasn’t havening to take care of unexpected cost I call him and go home now. Or if I had something I knew I could start work Monday or Tuesday, I would be gone. It is all I can do not to say something but I can’t.

{September 1, 2018}   Over My Job

I have to be at work at 5 tonight and I don’t want to go. I had been thinking about calling in and going out. I am burnt out just need a break from everything. I know I need the money but it seems pointless when I have been cut hours and not making enough. I am told oh what a great worker I am, hard worker my work and being there don’t go unnoticed won’t be forgotten and all this. But then my hours cut and the hours and shift taken by the ones who say all this.

I am at a fuck it what’s the point in going, point. But I keep saying every little bit counts, I need it until I find something else, all while saying just for get it let them figure it out they do you that way. I worked 9 am to 2 pm the owner lives a few miles away and couldn’t even make it in to write checks before I left. Knowing I live 20 minutes away. So I had to go do my running around spend extra on gas and things because I didn’t have my check then go back and get it. When I did the other girl was there she said she is not coming in at all today. Said she already told them and that if she had to she just call in. I don’t see us being busy enough I can’t do it without her but at the sametime the boss is supposed to be there to cover so people aren’t waiting it isn’t so stressfull but I bet he won’t be. Now if I wanted to call out I’m not going to be able to because they will have a fit and no one to work. Oh well I probably wouldn’t have anyway. I need the hours and money to bad and nothing to do anyway. Oh well

et cetera
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