Single___Parent___Life











{November 18, 2019}   Cancer Sucks

Last week was already a hard week for me being sick and just feeling off. Wanting to cry and just really emotional. Yesterday I woke up sicker than I had been so far. I felt horrible Thursday then alright Friday and Saturday. Sunday I woke up and had next to no voice. I didn’t fall a sleep until after 4 am. I woke up at around 10:30 and everyone was sleeping still. I rolled over and went back to sleep. About and hour or more later, Little Bitty woke me up tapping me on the shoulder. I rolled over and she said I lost another tooth!! She has all the ones across the top in the front missing now. I got her to lay down and watch a show with me for another hour or so. Then I finally got up, took a shower and we went to pick something up for lunch.

The big kids wanted pizza roll things so we went and ordered those. While we waited for them we ran next door to get Little Bitty what she wanted. Oldest and her ran in to get it and I was in the car. I called my friend J and talk to her a minute. I seen she said somethings online. I thought her mom was sick again, she is here. I called she was out with her husband and granddaughter.

She said something about test or the doctor. I said what are you talking about? She said I told you….I said no. She said oh I haven’t talk to you yet. She proceeds to tell me that she has breast cancer. They have done a bunch of different test. More than they would of probably ever done here. That they were sure it is cancer in her one breast. The other test they done they feel she is at extremely high risk of getting it in the other as well. Her mom has had it as well.

She said she is going December 4th to get a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. They are going to do a tummy tuck and use that to do the reconstructive surgery. I didn’t release they could do that.  We talked a little more they had left and were driving she asked if she could call me back when they got home. She said she was having a hard time hearing me. With losing my voice and them driving I am sue it probably was hard I told her yes to call me whenever she got a chance.

I didn’t hear from her after that. Then this morning I got some text from her really early about 6 am. She kept saying she was sorry she hadn’t called me back. She said it was hard for her to talk about it and hold it together and how scared she was and thing. She is hoping to avoid chemo and radiation if she can. I know she is scared, I can’t imagine going through that, basically three major surgeries. Plus dealing with your doing this because of cancer and don’t know how it is going to turn out. Not like she knows oh they will do this everything is going to be okay like if it was your gallbladder or something like that.

She had cancer before when she was in her 20/30’s bad. She had female cancer then and I think, had everything removed then.

I know she is scared I feel so bad for her. I just sat in the parking lot and cried when we hung up. Then I pulled it together when the girls came out. I wish I was able to go see her even just for the weekend. If I had somewhere to leave the dogs and the kids. I just leave from work Friday night and get up there Saturday sometime. I leave Sunday in time to be home for work Monday. But I just don’t have the money or way to do it. I have to be here with the kids and need to do a few things to the car.

We had talked about us coming up for Thanksgiving a few months ago but we hadn’t talked much since then. I hadn’t brought it up because I knew things that have happen I wasn’t going to be able to go.

 



et cetera
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