Single___Parent___Life











{August 14, 2019}   They Finally Filed

On my case with RC it says they filed papers with the court the 25th of last month. I keep looking at the clerk of courts site to see what it says they are doing since that is all it says. But it isn’t showing up. I finally chatted with someone online about it and they said they filed and were waiting on RC to be served but they didn’t know why it wasn’t showing up on the clerk of courts site.

I also asked them about Father of the Year and why they were not going after him again. They told me we sent and revoked his passport. I said he don’t care he don’t need one for anything, you took his drivers license months ago and he still goes to work every day and drives the company truck and brings it home and drives it everywhere he needs to or wants to go. So when will they take him back to court? Because that is the only thing that is going to get him to pay anything. Then she tells me they will not take him back to court until they have exhausted all other avenues and they do not work.

I am calling the court house tomorrow to see if I can get them to do something. If not I am going to see what papers I need to file so that I can file myself.

I went back to the clerk of court website to look up the judge that was on our case and get the number for her. I didn’t look at the cases when they came up and just clicked on our case. When I looked at it something didn’t look right. I started reading it and it was for me and RC not me and Father of the Year. Mine and father of the years case was at the bottom of the list but now mine and RC’s is so when I clicked it was his.

But now that it is all on the site it means that the court house has it moving in their system. Meaning it should be on it’s way out for him to be served. If we are lucky maybe we will have a court date by Christmas. But it is to establish or disestablish paternity. So if he or the judge wants DNA they will collect it there and it will take two weeks for them to get it back to us. Then we will have to wait for another court date. With Christmas and New Years we will not even get back in court before February if not later probably.

But at least the ball is rolling in the right direction finally after 6.5 years.

To be honest it is maddening really the way they do things and how long it takes them to help and get something going much less in place.

 



{June 10, 2019}   My Letter Came

The letter from child support enforcement for the DNA test me and Little Bitty have to go take. I came home to it Friday. It is for the 20th of this month. But they told me as soon as I got it we could come in anytime between getting it and the date on the letter. Since the little ones are in Summer school last week and this week we are going this Friday since their last day is Thursday. Then it is just waiting for him to go to his local office and have his done. I hope he has went or goes soon and don’t wait until the last minute. It takes two or three weeks from the time of the last test. Then they will mail it to all of us.

Once we get the test back we should get a date to go in and figure everything out of a court date to do it. I think they will try to just sit down with each of us at our local offices and do the paperwork and start it as long as we both do everything we are supposed to or asked to. At this point the test is there all there is to figure out is how much ee each are responsible for. And they will go back two years to collect as well. But there really isn’t anything to fight or contest either.

The only thing we may run into problems with is the “parenting plan” as they call it. Because she don’t know him and he isn’t getting her for weeks or months at a time for now. I don’t know if he is going to push seeing her or that kind of thing. I am going to let him know she wants to know him and have a relationship and the ball is in his court if he wants to call her and come see her.

My thing now is how to explain everything to her? If he don’t want to see or talk to her how do I handle that with her. I need to get her back into therapy. It is going to be an eventful week/weekend after doing this test with her. Even more eventful next few months with all this going on.



{May 7, 2017}   Two Years Back

I also have to go to child support enforcement for Little Bitty and have them go after RC. When called the other day they said that they will only go back two years no matter how old the child is so I need to start that process and get that taken care of. The longer I wait the more I lose. I should take father of the year to court for the two years I couldn’t file because he jerked the divorce around. But it isn’t worth it and I wouldn’t get anything anyway. I just want to get it going so that I can use that money to do things with her that she wants to do like dance or sports. The other kids did stuff this year and she wanted to but she was to little, he is old enough now that in a few months dance will start and I want to get her started at the be-gaining but there is a lot of cost that comes with dance that I know I don’t have the extra. If I am working I should be able to cover most the bills here without touching what I get for them. Freeing that money to do things with them. I would put so much a month away in a savings so that if something happen we wouldn’t be stuck like we have this month or back at Christmas but I am not just going to spend it blow it on whatever or save it all. I want them to be able to do things.

I just hope they are able to find her dad to get things done. Because I no longer have any of his information. I gave it to them and others before but it was in one of my phones that got dropped in water I was never able to get the information off of it after that. The lady told me the other day something about they run social security numbers every night to see if any come back with new addresses and things that they can use. But they are running thousands of numbers a night probably, how is that sorted and flagged so that the person that is handling your case gets it? Will it take weeks or months to get it where it needs to be or before someone knows that it had new information on it? Then how long does it take to file the papers that need filed and get them served? By then have they moved on or found another job or something. Because it seems that if it worked so well there wouldn’t be so many people still waiting forever for them to get them help. I could file against him myself like I am father of the Year but I do not know where he works, his address or even what state he is in for sure. I know that he is paying child support on one other child or was at the time we were together. I figure if he is they should be able to get all the information they need from that case if they will get it and use it. If not then his number should be linked to a job and a place he is living and they should get him that way pretty quick. He does keep a job and work, well he use to keep a job and work all the time. He didn’t want to get in trouble for not paying. I know he is living somewhere because he has her and the kids that have to have a place. He never really did try to hide so I am thinking it shouldn’t take long to get things started there. He may ask for a dna test or they might but I am not worried about that either. Because I know it will come back saying he is the father and that he can’t hold it up to get out of paying. He is still responsible for paying from the time I file plus two years back. He knows that she is his he can say he don’t know all he wants but he knows he is her father.

Off to the store to get some food in this house for today and tomorrow in hopes things are fixed tomorrow and I can go shopping for the week hopefully by Tuesday because this is money I have for gas and bills.



I found my divorce papers this morning thank God, I looked before I left to pick kids up yesterday and they were not where they should have been. I thought they were gone then my oldest said she thought they were in the night stand in my room and sure enough they were. I was surprised to see that it says he is supposed to have them every weekend not every other. We put every other but the way something was written they had to reword it to make it okay on their end. Well somewhere in there it got changed from every other to every. I am not to worried about that because I don’t think he is going to be coming to get them much anyway and they do not want to go. I am not making them go if he wants to force it then he can file the papers with the court.

I took them to the schools this morning and gave them copies. The little kids school just gets on my nerves they act like it’s no big deal and I am making something out of nothing. No sorry he has cut all contact with me and the kids and not doing what he is supposed to and has never done this so I have no idea what to think he is doing or planing. I need to protect my kids as much as I can at this pint. The older kids school just laughed. She said well I wasn’t worried about it papers or no papers I would just give him a hard time tell him he had to call the police and you would be called long before so you be here before he got them anyway. They don’t play games when it comes to crap like this they know he is never there never around and how he leaves the kids sit and don’t do anything for them and things. Then pops in unannounced and tries to look like Mr. Dad of the Year. He knows they don’t like him and things as well. He was telling Wanda last week when the kids ask if he could go there with them for the day he didn’t want to go there what was he supposed to do there none of them liked him it was awkward or something like that. He makes it that way he stands to the side and just watches everyone instead of doing things with the kids or trying to interact with the other parents like the rest are doing. Not that he will be coming anymore anyway. He won’t know when things are since he has no contact with anyone.

I went to the office place turned in the paperwork they asked for again. They said it could be Wednesday before they finish my case. I called a little bit again and they said they had not received the papers I turned in this morning they may come in later. To call back and check and they may need sent again. Today is the second time I have sent them this is from their office I should not have to keep sending them. They should put it right int he computer this is what they got this is what it says or whatever. I am going to go back down there on the way to pick the kids up and have them send it again. I asked for a boss to call me we shall see.

So yesterday the therapist said if she maid the call and said that we were low on food and lights and things were going to get shut off they would help me get things taken care of, help me get all the stuff I needed to get in place in place without me going through 100 people to get it started and going in circles. I didn’t want her to but am at a loss right now what to do so I told her last night go ahead and make the call. She called me back and said they wouldn’t come out because there was no neglect or abuse. But the worker told her to have me call and make a Parent needs assistants report. She said the worker told her to make sure I made it right then and that they would help me. I called and made the report and they said someone would contact me to meet with me with in 24 hours. I told them my lights are going to go off if I didn’t get them paid today. They said they made a note of that. I need to go these other places and take care of things but I can’t even do that right now because they are like 20 miles or more from home. If I get there or half way there and they call wanting to meet with me I am not close to come right back to meet with them. I have to get this taken care of today. I don’t know what to do. I am trying to call legal aid and the family help at the court house to see if I can take him to court myself or if I would have better luck letting them do it. I know I can take him myself but what would be faster and get better results. I just don’t know what to do or where to go from here. I hate going through this battle and doing this. If he would just give me the money he owes me I would be find. He owes right now over $500 in back pay. If I had that and I get this job I would be fine next month. I wouldn’t have a problem. I am going to go to the school see if they have something to help with finding a job as well. I just pray something comes through and I am able to get help. As much as I help others and as much as I helped Wanda to be done this way by her and to never be able to get help when I need it. If I just had the help I needed one time to give me a chance to get ahead I would be okay and wouldn’t need help again. But I always get no help and scrape by so I am always pushing money in circles. I just don’t know what to do anymore.



et cetera
%d bloggers like this: