Can’t Wait to Get Moved

I am so over this bitch I can not wait to get moved away from her. She started again tonight about if I found anything and what was she going to do? I am just going to leave her homeless after “all she has done for me”. Let’s talk about all she has done……

Had cps\dcf called on me.

Thrown away and or ruined my rugs furniture and everything else because it wasn’t “good enough” or what she wanted.

Brainwashed my kids trying to turn them against me

Has had code enforcement called several times I almost had to move.

Expectes everyone to do everything for her. Shop, laundry, driver everywhere, go the why she tells you do everything her way. If you get a drink do it this way use this glass not that one dont sit the cup here sit it there. This is no joke or stretching nothing. You can’t sit stuff on one end of the table because something off the ground was sat there 9 months ago. It has been bleached and cleaned. But it is still dirty.

We sleep in a death trap fire hazard every nigh. She has both doors blocked with stuff because you know someone is after us she needs to hear if they try to come in.

The list can go on and on but i can’t because I am already pissed and it just makes me madder thinking about it.

She says she has no way to do this and that. No way to look for a place no one to take her and now all the sick people. It’s no excuse. She could call one of these ride places one of her friends my sister. I am not missing work to help her. I did and she fucked around. Made me miss all day and drove me over the edge dealing with her. She needs committed or something. I dont know. But it is not my issue no more. Few months has been years you can’t help someone who don’t help themselves.

If I could move tomorrow i would and not think twice about it or feel the least bit bad.

I Told My Sister

I don’t know if it was Christmas eve or a day or two before, but me and my sister were talking on the phone while shopping. We were calling back and forth having each other look for thing’s we couldn’t find and trying to see what to get each other’s kids.

I don’t know how it came up but I ended up telling her about JW. I just told her I hadn’t told the kids and things yet. I told her we (well I was) were waiting to see how things went if it was going to be something or not. Then this covid crap happen and everything. That I was going to have to tell them soon.

She didn’t seem to sure at first, I told her that January would be a year for us. How he has been there for me and helped me. He got someone to tow me off 95 when I broke down. He got me the Christmas tree last year when I was going to have to go late after work. How he helps anyway he can. How good he is with the kids and wants to do things with them and be that guy in their life. Or that father figure. How he is excited for them to know talks about all he wants to do with them. But he understands why I haven’t told them and he is okay with it.

She wasn’t saying much but I could tell she was thinking. She said but what about this or that I told her. She asked if he had kids. I told her yes they are grown. She said how old is he? I told her only 42 she said oh okay. We talked a little more she seem to think it was good. The way she talked.

Today I called her why we were out to take and drop off the kids gifts and pick up mail. She said come in about an hour they were getting ready to eat. So we stopped by. He got out was helping me get their stuff out and give her. We stood there and talked for about an hour. I told her that I was not renewing my lease and that I was not taking her mother with me. I just told her no one knew yet but I wasn’t going to be staying around here. I wasn’t taking her with me. I told her we were looking at moving up by his kids. I told her rents here are crazy and I can’t afford to live here.

She understood she has been renting the same place longer than I have mine by about 3 years. She is worried they are going to rise her rent or tell her she has to move. She is only paying $825 i think she said. She is in a two bedroom condo. The ones around her are going for $1200. When I told her I could get a decent 3 bedroom house for that in January and now they are getting that for a 2 bedroom condo. That decent 3 bedroom houses are going for $1500 to $1600. She was shocked.

Later I called to see how the kids liked their gifts. And I thought of it ask her what the kids said about JW? They didn’t come out with this covid stuff and her baby and things. We had mask on and stood away from each other. But I said to her they will be asking granny who the guy was with me. She said no she told them and told them it was a secret for now. It should be okay they kept the secret about a new baby until my sister told. I didn’t either so I know she won’t say anything either.

We got there she seen my necklace I went over showed her. She looked then when I got closer she said oh wow that’s, that’s nice where did you get that or who got you that? I told her he got it for me for my birthday. She wasn’t sure what to say. She just looked at him surprised said really? I said yeah. He just smiled. She isn’t use to me having nice things like that unless it was stuff my dad gave me or a few things I got on ebay at a good price. Father of the year never bought me nice things like that. For no longer than we have been together for him to get me something like that. The fact that he could get me something like that and just do it not think anything of it. She had ask me the other night when we were talking if he had a job. I had just told her but she didn’t hear me. I told her yes he works 6 days a week over 60 hours a week. She said oh.

After she met him and we all talked today I think she liked him. I think she wasn’t sure what to think when we were talking the other night. She was young when me and Father of the year got together. She honestly never did like him would not stay if I wasn’t there even if the kids or others were there. I don’t think she ever met RC. She knows how things ended up with that. She don’t know why but when he isn’t around for 8 years what is anyone going to think of someone, you know.

I told him the other night I told her. He said told her what? I told him about him about us. He said really? What did she say? I told him not much really. He said she is going to say something won’t she? I said no she isn’t like that. He said oh okay. He seemed glad I had told her.

I showed her pictures of the cat’s was telling her about them. She asked who’s they were his? I told her no the one was mine. She just laughed. Asked where he was? I told her at his house. That I was kind of living between the two places. He told her I had stayed with him when I wasn’t here they thought I was at Bff’s house. He said yeah 6 or 8 months. I said 2. He was joking around. She seemed to like him. That is good.

Dinner With the Family and Other Ramblings

As I said in my last post JW’s aunt called why we were having lunch and ask us to dinner. She is. Down staying with his other aunt for a few days. So we went over to see them. I had never met them before. I only really know his mom and brother. I met his dad once or twice when we were younger but he wasn’t around much when we were growing up.

Tonight was two of his aunts one’s son and his girlfriend that was there. They were all really nice. It was a really nice night. We sat and talked while we waited for dinner to finish. After dinner we went out and watched the rocket launch. Sat and talked for a little bit longer and now we are home. They were all really nice and welcoming.

I am tired and wore out. It sucks because we haven’t done anything for me to feel this way. But I have drove about 150 miles today. The aggregation of running around wasting time for something that they didn’t have when we were debating where to go and decided to go there just because of the car show since they don’t have it all the time. Oh well. He is watching Black Panther and relaxing. I’m really not interested in it. I think I will go take a relaxing shower, fold the clothes make the bed and go to bed. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I worked Saturday to make up time we missed during the week. Took me 6 days to get 39.5 hours. I should of had 44. I had done 4 hours last Friday to make up for the day we missed the week before. Half day at over time would be more than i would of made had it been a normal 8 hour day. But then we missed Tuesday this week i had to work this Saturday and have them put it on this check to just touch 40. Hope we don’t miss any more.

Fair Share Of In Laws

JW has a friend well his best friend really that I am not crazy about. I couldn’t really figure out why. He has been nice to me and they always tell him to bring me and the kids over or to parties and things they have. That is were we spent New Years eve. I wasn’t impressed with some of the things I seen going on then with everyone who was there. But I try to stay in the mind set that it is not my house my kids and because I wouldn’t allow it or do it don’t mean it is wrong or my business. I make note that I would rather my children not be there without me or at all or what. I want others to be the same when it comes to me, my kids and my home.

But there is just something else that bothers me. I want to say he tries to hard but not really. It’s just odd. One of those you can’t pin point it but there it something.

Today sitting here thinking about it because he is supposed to go over there tonight and I don’t know if I want to go. I think maybe I figured out a big part of it. He is related to JW’s ex some way some how. He has told me but it was shortly after we started talking and I don’t remember. It sounded a little um complicated or tangled really. I know that she is his sister or sister in law of him or his wife or something like that. The kids aunt or great aunt some way.

To me that is just in laws. Rather him and his ex were married or not. They were together for 8 years or few more. His friends call him uncle. So they are were like family. But they are her family when it. Comes down to it. I have dealt with in laws enough. Dealing with in laws never turns out good. Because just like I told RC, in the end it is their family and that is who they are going to side with. He always ask if she is going to be there before he goes over or waits until she leaves. Then a while back be found out that she was staying with them. For like a month at least that he knows of. Then he finds out that they told her who I was and that that is my house 2 doors away from them. I am not scared of her and really don’t care. But it is the fact they know how she is. She drinks from the time she gets up until she passes out. And she is always fighting the time in between when she is awake. That she isn’t happy they aren’t together and he is with someone else. That she is the type of person that would just walk up and start shit out of the blue for no reason. That my kids are the ones home most the time.

I don’t know I think I told you about someone messing around outside my house in the middle of the night a while back a few times. Once they heard them talking it was a women. I didn’t at the time know she was staying over there. He didn’t either. But I told him about it when it happen. Later another time it came up I said how the Bitch thinks Peter Pan and Windy are sneaking over there washing at night. Or that someone is from things they found or that happen in the laundry room. It is outside on the carport. Can’t see in there without going out there. I don’t think it is them because he knows I will shoot before I even know who it is if I come out and someone is messing around my house. I will worry about who later. No one should be anywhere other than my front door that time of night if they are at my house. Then I will be answering the door with my gun that late.

Well I was telling JW what she was saying but I didn’t think that was it. He said I was wondering if it wasn’t my ex and told me how he found out she was staying there and they told her about me. That she is that way and he wouldn’t put it past her to come over there do something steal something or mess with something. So why would they tell her? They say they don’t like her but she is always over there holidays parties or stopping by. Then they let her stay there. Tell her all this stuff. Seems they are more friends with her than him and two faced. Telling her everything.

Yes they can be friends with both but you don’t find out everything you can and run back to tell the other one. One or the other shouldn’t come up or be talked about to the other. And when they sit and talk about how bad this one is how they don’t like them either and things then act like their best friend to their face. Makes one wonder what they are saying behind ones own back.

I haven’t told him any of this because that is his “best friend” he don’t talk to many people. But it is hard for me to interact with people that I feel such a way about.

Might Move To The Beach

As I told you in Falling A Part Around Us

I am over this house and still want to move even though I have a new lease I started in March. It is going to be hard to get in a place when they know I am leaving on a lease, the upfront money everywhere wants you to have and to show 3x the rent in income.

I thought of the owner at my job saying if she had something then she would rent it to me. So Monday I went and asked her if they had anything open or would anytime soon. She said no and then said her husband had this one. She said it was on the beach that they had owned it for 6 years he had done nothing with it. She said he was finally fixing it getting it ready to rent it should be done soon. She said it is a 3/2 older house but fixed up and nice and good size for me and the kids. She said she was going to talk to her husband about it let me know. I told her what all was going on at my house now and things. She said no we need to get you out of there.

Last week was a shit show at work. That ended with us having to call 911 for one of their son’s. So needless to say I haven’t heard from her about it yet. I did ask her about it Wednesday. She said no she hadn’t talk to him with everything going on. I don’t blame her really.

So now I wait and you know how hard that is for me. I am stuck because I don’t know anything about this house. I know the town or city it is in and it is pretty nice. It is right outside the gate of the military base. So a lot of them live right there. They get first preference to places to live in the area most the time. So a decent area. You don’t hear of things happening there to much. But i haven’t seen the house to know if it will work for us. She hasn’t given me an idea what rent will be nothing. I know she has to talk to him it’s just hard to wait for something you know nothing about or if it will work.

I told her me and the kids would be moving in then between now and the first of the year he would be. She didn’t care at all. I told her we both had bigger dogs and she didn’t care. She was just like I’m not worried about all that. Glade i met someone or was with someone. This is the place for us if size and rent wise it works. She isn’t worried about him or dogs and knows I am leaving on my lease. Understands why. She was shocked when I said I had been here in my house now since March 2014.

I told JW what she said about having one place that would be ready in a bit. The size that she didn’t mind him or the dogs or my lease and things. All about it but where it was. He asked finally. I said that is the thing where it is. He said why? What’s wrong with where it’s at? I said well it’s on X Beach. He didn’t know what to say. He was excited because he wants to move to the beach. But then was talking how far from work and having to get a car and things. It would take me half hour to drive him to work and then another 20 minutes to half hour to backtrack to work myself. Then I have to go get him we would have to backtrack home. Lot of driving. But hopefully we can get a car and things fairly quickly. And then he can get a better job. I don’t want him working 10/11 hours a day 6 days a week. I want to see him spend time with him and us to have time to do things with the kids. Him working like this won’t do it.

As soon as we have a car and things for him to drive then I can change my hours as well. I can go in at 7/730 and be off by 330/4. Right now I can’t go in early because I have to have him to work by 9 so i can be there by 930. Puts me off the earliest is 6. But if he can get a car get his self there or get a job closer to home I can start going in early. That would be nice. Only reason i go in so late now was because of school for the kids. I stay til 630 so i get to him by 7 when he gets off. I see him a bit then go home. I don’t want to be home so it works. But I want to get off early come home to just my kids and do stuff with them.

We will be a mile or less to the beach probably. Walking distance. I told him I would be over there all the time at night walking. I could take the kids they could look for shells, crabs and all kinds of things. They would have a blast. He is already talking about being out there on Sunday a few hours. I just looked at him. He said what I’ll take all the kids we will have fun you can relax and have a break or go with us sometimes. He loves the beach. I just hope it works out.

 

Simple But Good Day

Yesterday wasn’t anything special just another day really. I had an eye appointment at 11:15 about 10 miles north of home. Work is about 25 south so there was really no point in me going to work before. I would have to leave right away to get to the appointment on time.

So like any other I got up normal time and went to JW house. It was early so I laid back down. We curled up and fell right back to sleep. I guess we were both sleeping good we slept through his alarm. Next thing I knew he was waking me up it was time we should be leaving and he wasn’t even ready.

The dog had his recheck at 9:30 since we hadn’t able to take him a week or two ago when he should of went. I figured it was easier to take him today why I had time rather than try to fit it in. I told him he was okay with it for the most part. He was worried about me taking him alone. He likes to pull and drag. He is a good size boy about 100lb Black Lab. I really wasn’t he listens to me pretty well and I am use to dogs that like to pull. My big girl was about his size and a runner/puller. He knows who is boss when I am around he is dealing with me.

We took him with us when we left. We got our coffee and gas then dropped JW off at work. To the vet’s we went. We were about 30 minutes early but they came right out to the car got him and was back in just a few to let me know what they thought. We were on our way in no time. We stopped at JW’s on the way home we pass it on the way and told him what they said. After that I took him home had a talk with JW’s landlord that was there and laid down to cool off before I had to go get my eyes checked.

I got there to get my eyes checked and they got me in pretty fast. The doctor said I had just been there in 2018. I was thinking it was a lot longer than that. After he did the check he said I should be able to see a lot better once the new glasses come in. I can’t believe they have changed so much in 2.5 years and mostly since March. He said being on the computer a lot more for work now will do it. I ended up paying $120 for my glasses. There were things I had to pay for that I didn’t before. But when we were done she said it was almost $500 i only had to pay the $120 so I guess I can’t complain.

I left there and went to work. I clocked in a few minutes after 1. I took off 30 minutes earlier than I normally do and still only need to make up 1.5 hours. I can do that easy this week. But if I had stayed later I would of had to take a 30 minute break. I could just leave early. Anything over 5 hours a day you have to take 30. That would of put me there another hour and I needed to leave in 30.

I picked JW up at work and we went home. I had told him earlier I would like to go out for dinner. We went walked the dog and decided what we wanted. We ordered from a little pizza place here in town. They close early so we just brought it back to his place and ate. We sat there for a bit after talked and joked around before I had to go.

I didn’t want to go at all. I just wanted to stay sitting there laying on his shoulder watching tv until we were ready for bed then go to bed.

I was laying here thinking about it when I got home. How over all what a nice stress free day it was. We did what we had to do help each other and just relaxed this morning and this evening. Then because of me it was kind of ruined because I had to go home.

Laying here thinking about it. I want that togetherness, that closeness, that family feel again. I want us all under one roof so we can just do what we need to do and not worry about getting up early going over there to see him pick him up take him to work. I don’t have to now he can get a ride i can sleep in until i leave for work but then i hardly get to see him at all. I don’t have to pick him up in the evenings but i want to. If we were all home together under one roof it would take away all that extra time I spend trying to make time to see him away. We could see each other a lot more spend a lot more time together and with the kids.

But with everything how it is even if I tell my kids we still couldn’t have that right now. It would make it harder to see him and for us to spend time together instead of easier. Another reason I just want out of here this state away from everything. I don’t miss nothing here but a few family.

For the first time tonight that I want us together all under one roof, i want us as a family, i want the kids to know just all felt right. I wanted to call the kids in here and tell them. I wanted to tell him i just wanted to call him and tell him to come over. To come stay the night or what. I didn’t and still don’t have that feeling of wanting to tell the kids but worried about telling them. I want them to know. I want to tell them. I want them to hang out together get to know each other better and start bonding. I don’t know what has changed my mind because even the last week or so I have been worried about when and how to tell them. But just something over the weekend and the last few days just clicked I guess and I feel this is right, this is what I want, it is okay. It feels good.

Topic Of The Day—Day 2 What Attracts You In Love

I wanted to get this up and going the first week of the month but I have been a little distracted with life and all that comes with it. Some good, some bad but getting through and doing alright. That’s other post later on. But since I didn’t get to really start last week we will get the ball rolling now.

So what does attract you when it comes to love?

This was a hard one for me for a long time and I think I have just come to really figure it out and even out a little bit. I have never been one to really judge anyone where ever they were at in life if they were trying and progressing in some way. I would consider or give a lot of people chances. not because I’m desperate or can’t get anyone but just because I know what it is like to be in hard spots, fall on tough times and know how hard it is to claw your way out of them sometimes.

But at the same time I think that I was maybe a little to understanding, over looked a little to much and helped make excuses. I do believe that everyone can move from where they are and move up if they want it bad enough and look in the right places. But you quickly learn that most are where they are because they are happy there and it is what works for them. Even if it isn’t that great. They have no desire or drive to have more. In order to have more they would have to put in more of an effort and get up and do something. Like maybe get a better job where they are working more than a few hours a week, or somewhere they make more money or they may need to get a 2nd job for a while.

It isn’t easy to pull yourself out of a bed spot. But when I look at where I was, where I have been, how far I have come and the fact that I have basically done it on my own, I can’t feel sorry for anyone or make excuses for anyone really. Because if I can do it then there is no reason a grow man not taking care of anything but himself can’t. I know a lot of single dads who are doing it as well who have their kids full time as well.

That is what really made it hit me one day. I was at the store and two or three grown men come up asking me for money. I am just looking at them like they have lost their minds. Most have nothing wrong with them but they need their next fix, you can tell. It made me mad I work my ass off they are doing this want want money. Then I started looking at others and where they are and what they are doing and where they were and how far they have or haven’t come and it is like is anyone really trying? It changed my views thoughts and opinion on a lot of things.

Anyway back to topic at hand here. What attracts you?

I am looking for someone that first and for most they have to have goals, ambitions or whatever you call them. I am always changing and always growing and always striving to do better, be better, have better. I like to do new things, try new things, change things up. I don’t want the best of the best, or feel like I need to be better than anyone or have better than anyone. I am happy with who I am and what I have at this point in life because I know it isn’t all there is and that if and when I want something different I can make that happen.

It is more about not being happy just existing, not being happy with just getting by or just mundane doing the same thing over and over again. You have to have a purpose in life or it just has no meaning. If someone don’t have that it is a no go for me. I can’t drag someone around or pull them up when they have no desire for anything more than what they are doing. I also can’t be happy just joining them where they are and sitting.

I want someone who is on level with me or damn near close. I do care where you are what you are doing where you came from how far you have come and what you are doing to keep going and get better do better have better or what.

I want someone that understands my kids come first and have to because I am all they have.

I need someone who is going to ask questions and wants to understan where I am coming from why I do what I do. Someone who I can have conversations with and get somewhere not just small talk.

I want someone who loves me for me not what I can do for them give them or have.

I want someone that wants a family not just a fling or girlfriend.

Happy New Years

I hope you all had a great new years eve and having a great day with friends and family today.

Did you make any resolutions this year? What are they? Do you normally accomplish them? What revolutions from last year have you accomplished?

Feel a Road Trip Coming Up

I have been in a mood lately feeling very restless and wanting to get away. I want to take a road trip. I am going to shoot for the next 3 day weekend we have. Hopefully it will be a day that the shop is already closed.

I think I will take off Friday and leave out that morning. We should get where we are going by that afternoon or early evening around dinner. Spend from then until Monday there. Leave out after lunch Monday and head home. We should get home in time for work and school.

I think I am going to go up to my friend J’s house and stay. She has the room. I will probably take one day to see my cousins. One is about 30 minutes away from her. See if the other one could come up and meet us. She is about 2 hours away. Or maybe go see the one that is 30 away then leave a little early and stop and see the one that is 2 hours away on the way home. Check all three areas out. So I can get my plan into motion.

I have to get these birthdays over with and decent checks rolling in again first. Then Figure out when I will have money to go on. My friend wants me to come for Thanksgiving I may wait and do that then take the extra day and have 5 days to go. Leave out after work Wednesday. Drive up to GA hang out a while. Eat sleep a little and make the rest of the trip up to SC.

I just really want to go before that and then maybe go again then. Just excited to check some things out and get to working on some things. I will have to tell you more about my plans in another post.

If You Are Looking For

Something to watch with the kids, well the girls anyway. Not sure how into it boys would be, you should try the Worst Witch. Me and Little Bitty have been watching it the last week or so. It’s a cute show for the kids, that the adults can enjoy too. It is hard to find things we all like or that we both like and watch together.

It’s about a little girl who meets another little girl that is going off to school. It’s a school for witches. The girl can’t see to get there because she breaks her glasses. The other girl helps her fly there on her broom and ends up staying. She is the first non witch to get to go to school there and learn to be a witch.

It’s a cute little show we watch two or three a night when there isn’t school and she is up when I get home. We lay in bed and watch it on the phone.