Single___Parent___Life











{July 8, 2020}   Simple But Good Day

Yesterday wasn’t anything special just another day really. I had an eye appointment at 11:15 about 10 miles north of home. Work is about 25 south so there was really no point in me going to work before. I would have to leave right away to get to the appointment on time.

So like any other I got up normal time and went to JW house. It was early so I laid back down. We curled up and fell right back to sleep. I guess we were both sleeping good we slept through his alarm. Next thing I knew he was waking me up it was time we should be leaving and he wasn’t even ready.

The dog had his recheck at 9:30 since we hadn’t able to take him a week or two ago when he should of went. I figured it was easier to take him today why I had time rather than try to fit it in. I told him he was okay with it for the most part. He was worried about me taking him alone. He likes to pull and drag. He is a good size boy about 100lb Black Lab. I really wasn’t he listens to me pretty well and I am use to dogs that like to pull. My big girl was about his size and a runner/puller. He knows who is boss when I am around he is dealing with me.

We took him with us when we left. We got our coffee and gas then dropped JW off at work. To the vet’s we went. We were about 30 minutes early but they came right out to the car got him and was back in just a few to let me know what they thought. We were on our way in no time. We stopped at JW’s on the way home we pass it on the way and told him what they said. After that I took him home had a talk with JW’s landlord that was there and laid down to cool off before I had to go get my eyes checked.

I got there to get my eyes checked and they got me in pretty fast. The doctor said I had just been there in 2018. I was thinking it was a lot longer than that. After he did the check he said I should be able to see a lot better once the new glasses come in. I can’t believe they have changed so much in 2.5 years and mostly since March. He said being on the computer a lot more for work now will do it. I ended up paying $120 for my glasses. There were things I had to pay for that I didn’t before. But when we were done she said it was almost $500 i only had to pay the $120 so I guess I can’t complain.

I left there and went to work. I clocked in a few minutes after 1. I took off 30 minutes earlier than I normally do and still only need to make up 1.5 hours. I can do that easy this week. But if I had stayed later I would of had to take a 30 minute break. I could just leave early. Anything over 5 hours a day you have to take 30. That would of put me there another hour and I needed to leave in 30.

I picked JW up at work and we went home. I had told him earlier I would like to go out for dinner. We went walked the dog and decided what we wanted. We ordered from a little pizza place here in town. They close early so we just brought it back to his place and ate. We sat there for a bit after talked and joked around before I had to go.

I didn’t want to go at all. I just wanted to stay sitting there laying on his shoulder watching tv until we were ready for bed then go to bed.

I was laying here thinking about it when I got home. How over all what a nice stress free day it was. We did what we had to do help each other and just relaxed this morning and this evening. Then because of me it was kind of ruined because I had to go home.

Laying here thinking about it. I want that togetherness, that closeness, that family feel again. I want us all under one roof so we can just do what we need to do and not worry about getting up early going over there to see him pick him up take him to work. I don’t have to now he can get a ride i can sleep in until i leave for work but then i hardly get to see him at all. I don’t have to pick him up in the evenings but i want to. If we were all home together under one roof it would take away all that extra time I spend trying to make time to see him away. We could see each other a lot more spend a lot more time together and with the kids.

But with everything how it is even if I tell my kids we still couldn’t have that right now. It would make it harder to see him and for us to spend time together instead of easier. Another reason I just want out of here this state away from everything. I don’t miss nothing here but a few family.

For the first time tonight that I want us together all under one roof, i want us as a family, i want the kids to know just all felt right. I wanted to call the kids in here and tell them. I wanted to tell him i just wanted to call him and tell him to come over. To come stay the night or what. I didn’t and still don’t have that feeling of wanting to tell the kids but worried about telling them. I want them to know. I want to tell them. I want them to hang out together get to know each other better and start bonding. I don’t know what has changed my mind because even the last week or so I have been worried about when and how to tell them. But just something over the weekend and the last few days just clicked I guess and I feel this is right, this is what I want, it is okay. It feels good.



I wanted to get this up and going the first week of the month but I have been a little distracted with life and all that comes with it. Some good, some bad but getting through and doing alright. That’s other post later on. But since I didn’t get to really start last week we will get the ball rolling now.

So what does attract you when it comes to love?

This was a hard one for me for a long time and I think I have just come to really figure it out and even out a little bit. I have never been one to really judge anyone where ever they were at in life if they were trying and progressing in some way. I would consider or give a lot of people chances. not because I’m desperate or can’t get anyone but just because I know what it is like to be in hard spots, fall on tough times and know how hard it is to claw your way out of them sometimes.

But at the same time I think that I was maybe a little to understanding, over looked a little to much and helped make excuses. I do believe that everyone can move from where they are and move up if they want it bad enough and look in the right places. But you quickly learn that most are where they are because they are happy there and it is what works for them. Even if it isn’t that great. They have no desire or drive to have more. In order to have more they would have to put in more of an effort and get up and do something. Like maybe get a better job where they are working more than a few hours a week, or somewhere they make more money or they may need to get a 2nd job for a while.

It isn’t easy to pull yourself out of a bed spot. But when I look at where I was, where I have been, how far I have come and the fact that I have basically done it on my own, I can’t feel sorry for anyone or make excuses for anyone really. Because if I can do it then there is no reason a grow man not taking care of anything but himself can’t. I know a lot of single dads who are doing it as well who have their kids full time as well.

That is what really made it hit me one day. I was at the store and two or three grown men come up asking me for money. I am just looking at them like they have lost their minds. Most have nothing wrong with them but they need their next fix, you can tell. It made me mad I work my ass off they are doing this want want money. Then I started looking at others and where they are and what they are doing and where they were and how far they have or haven’t come and it is like is anyone really trying? It changed my views thoughts and opinion on a lot of things.

Anyway back to topic at hand here. What attracts you?

I am looking for someone that first and for most they have to have goals, ambitions or whatever you call them. I am always changing and always growing and always striving to do better, be better, have better. I like to do new things, try new things, change things up. I don’t want the best of the best, or feel like I need to be better than anyone or have better than anyone. I am happy with who I am and what I have at this point in life because I know it isn’t all there is and that if and when I want something different I can make that happen.

It is more about not being happy just existing, not being happy with just getting by or just mundane doing the same thing over and over again. You have to have a purpose in life or it just has no meaning. If someone don’t have that it is a no go for me. I can’t drag someone around or pull them up when they have no desire for anything more than what they are doing. I also can’t be happy just joining them where they are and sitting.

I want someone who is on level with me or damn near close. I do care where you are what you are doing where you came from how far you have come and what you are doing to keep going and get better do better have better or what.

I want someone that understands my kids come first and have to because I am all they have.

I need someone who is going to ask questions and wants to understan where I am coming from why I do what I do. Someone who I can have conversations with and get somewhere not just small talk.

I want someone who loves me for me not what I can do for them give them or have.

I want someone that wants a family not just a fling or girlfriend.



{January 1, 2020}   Happy New Years

I hope you all had a great new years eve and having a great day with friends and family today.

Did you make any resolutions this year? What are they? Do you normally accomplish them? What revolutions from last year have you accomplished?



{September 17, 2019}   Feel a Road Trip Coming Up

I have been in a mood lately feeling very restless and wanting to get away. I want to take a road trip. I am going to shoot for the next 3 day weekend we have. Hopefully it will be a day that the shop is already closed.

I think I will take off Friday and leave out that morning. We should get where we are going by that afternoon or early evening around dinner. Spend from then until Monday there. Leave out after lunch Monday and head home. We should get home in time for work and school.

I think I am going to go up to my friend J’s house and stay. She has the room. I will probably take one day to see my cousins. One is about 30 minutes away from her. See if the other one could come up and meet us. She is about 2 hours away. Or maybe go see the one that is 30 away then leave a little early and stop and see the one that is 2 hours away on the way home. Check all three areas out. So I can get my plan into motion.

I have to get these birthdays over with and decent checks rolling in again first. Then Figure out when I will have money to go on. My friend wants me to come for Thanksgiving I may wait and do that then take the extra day and have 5 days to go. Leave out after work Wednesday. Drive up to GA hang out a while. Eat sleep a little and make the rest of the trip up to SC.

I just really want to go before that and then maybe go again then. Just excited to check some things out and get to working on some things. I will have to tell you more about my plans in another post.



{August 13, 2019}   If You Are Looking For

Something to watch with the kids, well the girls anyway. Not sure how into it boys would be, you should try the Worst Witch. Me and Little Bitty have been watching it the last week or so. It’s a cute show for the kids, that the adults can enjoy too. It is hard to find things we all like or that we both like and watch together.

It’s about a little girl who meets another little girl that is going off to school. It’s a school for witches. The girl can’t see to get there because she breaks her glasses. The other girl helps her fly there on her broom and ends up staying. She is the first non witch to get to go to school there and learn to be a witch.

It’s a cute little show we watch two or three a night when there isn’t school and she is up when I get home. We lay in bed and watch it on the phone.



{August 12, 2019}   Schitt’s Creek

I found this show on Netflix and started watching it Friday. I am 7 shows in and still not sure what I think about it. It is like driving by a train wreck and not slowing down to look, you just can’t do it. I find it kind of funny they are freaked out about living there and I am thinking if only I could just pack my shit and move there. I would willingly move there. If only I had their “problems”.

It’s about this rich family who have all their assets froze all but this crappy town they had bought and forgot about. They move there and are staying in a motel until they figure things out.

 



A while back I wrote Sometimes You Just Want To Shake Somebody talking about Bff and this mess with Sleeping Beauty.

I hadn’t seen or talked to her in while and she called me last Sunday and then wanted to go out this past Wednesday. We didn’t talk much Sunday she was on her way out of town to her uncles funereal. Wednesday night was when she ended up taking everyone with her and I didn’t go.

She called me Saturday right after me and the kids got home from shopping and dinner. She wanted to know if I wanted to go to Apple-bee’s with her for a little bit. I told her I would go with her but that I wasn’t eating I had just got done eating and was full. She said she was just going for an hour or so. She came and picked me up and we went.

She started talking about Sleeping Beauty and how things were and things he was doing. She said Wednesday when she asked me to go that he was laying down the kids were in bed already. She said she told him she was leaving and where she was going and that she was going to get in the shower. He said something loud enough for everyone to hear. She said then when she got out of the shower they were all up and sitting on the couch ready waiting for her. She said she told them she just wanted to go alone and things. They started. She said even after I said I wasn’t going they still ended up going. She yelled at him because it ended up costing her over $30 when if it had just been me and her it would of cost her $5 to $8.

She said he is supposed to make her car payment that is his “rent” I started to say something and she said but I’m not holding my breath that he is going to do it. I and that he hasn’t been home since the night before. I said yep not surprising. She said something about her mom saying something about him being there and the way things are. She was going to say something if he did something or didn’t do something.

Later we were talking and she said something about counseling and things. She said her youngest daughter who is like 12 talks about him when she goes all the time and things. Says that she wants him to go with her next time and that they are letting her bring him and wants her to. Said she talks about her like trash there and things. I said there is no way in hell I would let him go and start that. They take the kids back by their self and he would go back and her not there. I said I do not trust him at all not to say something just to try and start shit or cause problems and when they see and meet him they are not stupid they are going to see what he is all about and what he is and that could start problems for you as well. She said she didn’t know what she was going to do she didn’t tell them they could or couldn’t go. I really don’t think he will go because he knows they aren’t stupid and will have him figured out. I also feel that if he does go it isn’t going to be good.

Something was said about them going to the woods and all this. I said yeah and you went and bought him a car or toy to take out there. What were you thinking? She said I know then said it isn’t his, then I got to find the title. I said where is it? She said she didn’t know he had it, it was there somewhere. I said you are not going to get that back from him. He has that hidden, he is going to take it with him when you put him out or he decides to leave.

She was saying how she isn’t happy, how it is like having old boss there and how he talks to her, acts and treats her, how she don’t like being there and is shutting down. I told her get him out, put him out, your have done nothing but take care of him all this time for what reason, none. He isn’t going to make your truck payment and he isn’t going to go on his own because he has it made there. he isn’t there for any good or right reason. This was all a game and to get back at old boss from the start. She said something about her kids and things. I said yeah I know and it isn’t good and should of never happen this is all why I told you from the start don’t do it, don’t do it just leave him alone and don’t do it he is just what everyone said about him is true. I said and all the more reason you need to get him out the sooner the better. Kids are all involved and everything and the longer you wait the worse it is going to be. I know she keeps saying.

She says I can see so much and understand so much of the things you have said and done and why you said and done things and why you still do the things you do and how you do them. She said I never got it, I could never figure it out before. She said I’m living it and now I see.

He kept coming up when we were talking and things I would just say yep that is what a habit gets you. That’s what happens when you snort so much of that shit. She said something at one point about she figured out what was wrong with him he was sick. I said no he is’t sick. I said he can say what he wants make excuse after excuse and you can make all the excuses that you want for him. But the fact of the matter is just about anything and everything that he wants to complain about and say is wrong with him or he is having problems with can all be traced right back to his problem. I said and it is no one fault but his own that he is that way. She said something about him being sick and not left the house for two weeks. I said withdraw will do all that and if he really hadn’t left the house and hadn’t had money it probably was because he just been MIA for days and going out all most everyday before that for the last month or so. She kept saying he could be a good person. I said yes he could be but he isn’t and he don’t want to be. He wants a free ride and to keep doing what he has been doing all this time. She said he needs to grow up or something like that and stop be responsible. I said he is over 45 years old he is not going to, he has had more than enough time and more than enough chances and help. He just uses everyone and keeps going. I said I think he is to a point that he is to far. Something bad is going to happen or he is going to just be this way from now on. No one else in the house has been sick he been so violently sick and just wanting to do nothing but sleep if he isn’t and he been all nasty and snappy with them. Withdraw all around.

He messaged her when we were there wanting to know where she was and what she was doing. Then saying something to her about not being home with the kids and things.

I don’t know what she is going to do, but I am glad her mom is seeing what is going on and how he is too now and is saying something. She said her aunt keeps saying things to her as well about it. I forgot they work together two nights a week so even if we don’t go out she still see’s her and says stuff. She is like me and will tell her it isn’t right and she needs to get him out and this is his problem and the drugs and things.

I hope to get to go out with her this week or to breakfast one day this week. I don’t know if she will or not. He keeps her isolated. She told me she not been talking or seeing anyone or talking to anyone hardly and how he starts when she does. She dont’ see it she is use to it she grew up this way. but she still knows it isn’t right.



{July 4, 2019}   Happy 4th

Hope you all have a safe and fun 4th with family and friends.



{April 19, 2019}   About Me

Am I the only one who forgets about this page and never updates it? I thought of it the other day and went to check it out. Guy’s I had not updated it in 6 years. I don’t even know where that 6 years went because that seems like a life time ago.

So here it is my all new updated About Me

 



{April 8, 2019}   Reality Setting In

Last night I was looking at facebook and it popped up, old boss, Bff;s hubby posted something a few minutes before. I looked it said feeling sad or upset and reality is starting to set in. He is away on the truck he was supposed to be back this past weekend but now not until Easter so he has been a way a little while.

I messaged her and asked what she done? She asked what I meant. I told her what I seen she seen it too. She said she didn’t know what it was all about she hadn’t said anything to him. She told me when he comes home she is telling him they are getting a divorce. I keep telling her she needs to wait and not do it yet she is going to make it worse than it has to be. I figured when I seen that she had said something to him or something had happen. That was all that was really said I went to sleep.

I went and got a tire on the truck and things this morning and tried to call her when I thought she would be taking the kids to school and headed to work. She never answered. I tried to call her a few times yesterday she never answered either. She hardly answers at all anymore her aunt said the same thing to me the other night she don’t hear from her and they she don’t see her anymore since he left and this one showed up and things. That she don’t think this is a good idea and that she thinks she is scared to be alone too.

She just called me a little bit ago and wanted to know if old boss contacted me. She said he contacted her oldest and the guy down the street where we all were drinking that night and where Sleeping Beauty is supposed to be staying. He contacted his wife this morning. She said she is waiting on her to get up so she can talk to her and see what was said or what she told him.

But I got news for her she can’t trust what she tells her because from what has been said they are or have been messing around and talking. I know she was up at the shop all the time for no real reason hanging out in the office and things when I wasn’t there because she was always logged into stuff on the computer. I would see her leaving there when I went by. This was long after her husband was fired and not working there anymore. Few times I was there she came up she didn’t hangout long never got out most the time or said she had to go because he was on his way home she didn’t’ want him to see her car there.

So she will most likely tell him that Sleeping Beauty isn’t staying there and that he is staying over there. Her oldest probably already has as well because she isn’t real happy about him being there and has been saying things and she is very two faced. As long as she is getting what she wants she acts all nice and like everything is great but as soon as she gets pissed about something or don’t get what she wants she will turn around and stab you in the back. Bff knows it she talks about it all the time, but then does all this stuff. I told her to many times you don’t want him to know something you shouldn’t be doing it where the kids can see or let them know what you are doing and you shouldn’t be telling them don’t tell daddy. I said that is wrong right there.

I said yeah I don’t tell my kids things and I also don’t do things in front of my kids. Not because I have anyone to answer to because I have no one to answer to and no one that can do anything about anything no matter how much they like it or don’t like it. But I am not going to tell my kids to lie for me there is no reason for them to. And I am not going to put my kids in that position to feel that they need to lie or that they are telling something they shouldn’t tell just because it is my business. I am not going to put them in the piston to be drilled by their dad if he walks back in the picture or anyone else that may decide to ask questions. Not telling your kids things and doing things they don’t know about is one things and I don’t have a problem with. But when you start telling them to lie and not to tell things and you are doing it and saying it in front of them that is wrong. I have a problem with that. She don’t really say much when I tell her or say it to her.

She seemed funny on the phone when she was talking to me today. She wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. I thought she was going to ask me what I was going to say or say something about what to say to him or what if he did but she didn’t. I think she wanted to but wasn’t sure. I said he probably won’t contact me anyway he will figure he isn’t going to get anywhere with me or get the information he wants out of me and left it at that. I haven’t said anything as much as I don’t agree with it because it isn’t’ my place. I don’t know what to say if he contacts me and starts asking questions. I am not going to lie but at the same time I don’t want to throw her under the bus or cause her problems. But I have a feeling by the time he contacts me if he does then he will probably already know and just trying to get someone to confirm it. I hope he don’t contact me and have to decide how to handle it if he does. I do not like being put in this position.



et cetera
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