Please Help Me Understand Something

They talk about prepare for the storm, get water, bread, canned foods, flashlights, batteries and the list goes on.

They say so if we lose power, if we lose water. Once the storm is over we are not going to be able to get it stores will be closed. Then they turn around and tell you to leave as well. You will need it wherever you leave to. You will need it when you get back.

Now lets stop and think about this logically here. If this storm is bad enough you are telling me to leave and get out of harm’s way. If I do that I am going to go where it is not going to hit. Therefore I will be able to get food and water and all that kind of thing because they are going about life as normal. They are not about to get blown off the map or sink.

If I am leaving why do I want to buy all this stuff and leave it to maybe get blown away? Then I am still not going to have it when I get back or the money to get more because I bought that to start with. If I am leaving why wouldn’t I just wait and see if or what I am going to need and then get it and bring it home with me? Rather than buy it and take a chance on leaving it here or having to drag it around taking up room while I’m gone?

If I wait then I can buy things other than canned things like lunchmeat hotdogs bread and things. If I buy things now the bread is going to go bad before the storm even hits and the lunchmeat you can’t transport or it will unless you want to take a cooler with you. Then again how long will that last? And you are taking up room.

At worst I end up needing stuff for a day maybe 2. Then I take the meat out of the freezer and cook it on the grill. That way we have food and it isn’t wasting because we have no power. I have an upright deep freezer. I get gallons of water line across the shelf in the back turn packs of meat side ways and put another line of gallon jugs infront and let them freeze. Even if power goes out it will take about 2 days before things start to thaw out if no one is opening and closing it. So I still don’t really need to rush out and buy a ton of canned food and fight people for the stuff because if you have a grill you can still cook your normal stuff in the fridge.

Hell one storm we weren’t expecting and didn’t have a grill. We used an oven rack and some blocks to lay it on. Then made the fire under it and cooked a freezer full. The storm was supposed to go past and miss us and turned in on us at the last minute. Or we would of been better prepared.

I seen were people were saying if you don’t use all you buy during the storm don’t return it donate it. Because when it is returned the store has to throw it away they can not resale or give it away. I seen where employees were talking about how much they have to throw away after every storm. It is sickening when there are so many people out there who need it. But people will not donate because they spent money that was for bills and that weeks food. They are now trying to get it back.

It seems that if that much is being returned that we don’t need to rush out and buy tons of this stuff because we aren’t using it. People are finding other things to eat and do things even when the power is out.

I know the storms are bad and could be worse but again if we see the damage they hype everything up to be or other places have gotten. We are not going to have that food it is going to be gone you still have nothing if you stay like a lot of people.

I feel they do this all wrong and cause everyone to panic way more than is needed. I feel they use this to jolt the economy scarying people into buying things they wouldn’t normally buy knowing they will have to turn around and buy their normal day to day things when it is over. That will require more money or the return and trashing of food that someone could of used.

I Have Become A………

Stress eater, since I am not home and stuck at work sitting at a desk all day and night I can’t sleep when I am depressed or stressed out. It hit me today I am now eating to replace the not being able to sleep.

That as you can see is the XL candy bar I sat here and ate yesterday while stressing about everything.

Today I had to go to the social security office before work, that didn’t go over well. Not the news I wanted to hear or went there to even get really. While waiting on them to sort things out and wait for someone to come over and help the guy that was helping me I ended up being late for work. Why not be later and stop and get food. I didn’t really want food I wanted coffee. But I didn’t even feel like getting out of the car to get coffee so I went though the drive through. I don’t like their coffee I was going to get tea. Then I seen the other places on the other side of the parking lot and figured what the hell may as well get a milkshake. Why your at it make it a large too.

That turned in to two roast-beef sliders and curly fries to go with it. All I have left is the shake and I feel sick because I wasn’t even hungry hardly ever eat this early and nothing like that. Now I just want to curl up and go to sleep and I have to make phone calls find the guys work and just be awake because I’m at work. I slept better last night than I had in a while but it was still hard to get up and I am still so tired.

Coffee & Water Day 4

I should not be drinking tea and started drinking it again to long ago. The last few weeks my stomach has been bothering me again. I know that my coffee isn’t helping either but I’m not 100% ready ready or able to give that up yet. So I compromising, I have down sized my large like 32 oz coffee to my 12 oz coffee. I have not had any tea since Friday.

Monday I started my day with my small coffee and two big bottles of water. I drank all the coffee and probably not even a quarter of the bottle of water if that. I have a huge problem with water. I can not drink water to save my life. I want flavor, and then I have a problem with having flavor in water because I have a problem with things tasting like things that they aren’t. Because lets face it, flavored water is to me just kool aid without sugar.

Tuesday I had the idea that orange juice would be better. I bought two and my coffee, I had no problem drinking all that. But yesterday I decided I needed to suck it up and drink the water. I can’t drink a ton of juice everyday all day. I went and got the other bottle of water from Tuesday and drink some of it but not a lot. I went to Applebee’s with BFF and her aunt. I didn’t order a tea or any drinks. I wanted to order a screwdriver or something but I didn’t. When we left there I finished the rest of the bottle of the water. It wasn’t to bad but it was hard.

It is 3:30 and I still have a little bit of my coffee left and two bottles of water I bought today in there. I am going to try and drink one of them this afternoon/evening. I don’t know how well that will go over but I hope that it goes over as good or better than yesterday. I hope that by next week it will get better. Because I am always dehydrated I should be drinking water every day and don’t so hopefully I will get use to it and start drinking more than just one bottle in a day and be able to just drink my one coffee and water after that.

Bff said just get a tea and just have a tea on Wednesday nights. But like I told her I just stopped having it Friday if I drink it I will just keep on. That is how I got started back drinking it was I will just have one when I am out to eat or out with them and then started drinking it all the time when I stopped drinking the soda and just replaced the soda with the tea. Really they are the only sugar I have as well most the time so that I think will be good getting rid of all that sugar I have been getting. It will also cut out a lot of calories and I will start losing weight again because I am at a stand still right now it seems. I haven’t weighed myself in a while so I dont’ know where I am now. I should be at 140 or less. I think I have lost some since I checked last a month or so ago because my pants seem to be a lot loser.

If I Didn’t Waste My Money

The other night me and Little Bitty were laying in bed and she was being something else. I finally said look here you are not a princess and you are going to stop acting like it. Because that is how she has been lately. Like she is entitled to whatever she wants when she wants how she wants. And the being mean to her brother, the things she says to him and the way she treats him and then just like flipping a switch she is all nice and wants to play again. I told her all this is going to stop right now.

Well when I said she wasn’t a princess she came even more unglued. Is that possible? I don’t know but lord she freaked out she was the princess and I was going to buy her that princess car she keeps seeing at the store too.

I told her she was not getting that car even if she did act like a princess. This is a $400 power wheel car. I am not spending that kind of money on something like that. Surely not the way she has been acting I wouldn’t if I had it. I never said anything about money at all to her just that I was not buying that car.

She says to me if you didn’t waste all your money, you would have the money to buy me that car.

I had to catch myself and stop for a minute and get it together because that just went all through me in some kind of way. I finally in a second was able to ask her what she was talking about me wasting my money?

She said all the time when you go to the store always buying food. If you didn’t buy all that food every time we went to the store you would have the money to buy me that car I want.

I was still beyond mad but had to laugh a little. I know where the wasting the money is coming from and while I am mad at her I was more mad at the Bitch because that is the shit she says all the time. That I waste my money and in front of the kids and they don’t know and to little to understand right now. If I wasted my money who pays the rent and bills? Sine I am the only one paying them then where do I get all this extra money to waste and what am I wasting it on? Because other than my Wednesday night I am home or work. Everyone says it, you have no life all you do is work and home.

The fact that she said every time I go to the store I waste it on all that food we buy should tell you that the only time I go to the store is to shop for food and get the things they need. I guess I am supposed to just not feed them and use that money to buy them all the things they want. Oh the joys of being 5 and innocent.

Hell I seen a nice purse I liked while I was i there wasting my money making sure they had what they needed for today since they were off from school and I have to work 12 hours. I put it in my cart and was going to get it because I could really use one and a nice I haven’t bought a purse in a few years now and they were at the thrift store for a couple dollars. I ended up putting it back because I didn’t want to spend the $10 and I felt it wasn’t that great of a deal it was only marked down $4. I wouldn’t normally buy it I would wait to see if it dropped lower but it was the only one they had left like it. I thought I would go ahead and get it since I could use one and still put it back. I even put the $5 wallet I needed back. I was debating what one to buy since the one was cheaper.

I ended up buying two robes for $3 each and picked up a shirt for $3 that I liked. I got Big boy a robe because I figured he might like to have one he had one before and outgrew it he is older now. He may like to use it to go between the bathroom and bedroom instead of getting dressed in the bathroom but he didn’t want it once i got it home. I picked the other up for my Grandpa for his birthday in a couple months. It is nice and I would end up spending a lot more in a few weeks if I didn’t get it then. I figure I will take the other back or hang it in the closet and use it as a gift for someone else down the road.

I was just floored when she said that about wasting my money though. She has been giving me a rally hard time about everything and just being off the chain. I am to a point if her dad was in the picture I would of already told him he needed to come and get her for a couple weeks so I could have a break because I don’t even want to be around her anymore at this point. I hate to feel that way about my kids.

I know some of it is because I am the only one doing it all and we get tired of each other. I am sure she feels like I am always getting on to her more than anything. I know a lot of it is her age and testing boundaries, part of it is I am working so much and not getting to spend as much time with them as they would like. And the fact she wants her dad in the picture and he isn’t and she can’t talk to him or see him. I think she blames me for it or feels that I am keeping her from him.

I talked to the doctor about things the other morning while we were there and she said she is going to recommend her for counseling and gave me papers to fill out and one for her teacher to fill out. I am sure that between me and her teacher we are going to have two different papers because she is like a different kid at school and home.

Don’t Know If I Told You All

With not being around the last few days and then dumping a few post back to back just about. I do not remember if I told you all that as of Monday I have lost 7 lbs in just over a week. I maybe down more today but I have not checked. I don’t check often. But I know I checked last week and then Monday at my friends her scale was sitting there so I figured why not?

I am now below 160 lbs. I am very happy. I want to be back at 120/130lbs. I will probably wait until Froday or the weekend to check again. I really haven’t been trying to lose it and had gained some back. But being back at work and back to eating more normal for me has made a huge difference. Because when I am working I eat once a day. And not as much as I do when I am home.

What They Are Thankful For

Every year this time my kids have to do their Fall Writes on what they are thankful for. My youngest and oldest had me in tears with what they wrote right in the start of their papers. I had to share.

This is my oldest son 12 years old.



This one is my Little Guy 7 years old


This is my oldest daughters 13 years old

Start Training

Tomorrow I start my 3 days of training. I hope that I can pick everything they want me to know up in three days, the others all have 4 days. I don’t work weekends so I will not be there Saturday. She gave others different days if they didn’t work a day but she didn’t me. I guess it depends what I have to do, if I don’t get it all I will just tell them I need that extra day next week when I come back in. They should give it to me seeing that everyone else gets it.

I am glad she put me at the other store and not the one I applied at to start with. I think it is going to be a better store than the other. I just put that one because it was where I seen they needed help. I think the people are going to be better to work with at that one as well. There is another lady that is a little older than me that was in the orientation Monday that is going to be there and one or two other people. Not real sure about a couple but not sure what store they are at. I don’t think they are going to be at the one I am. She had people from all over the county there, I guess she holds all interviews at that one store.

I have to get up at 5 am to be there by 7 am. I have to drop the kids off at daycare then go there but it is only 5 minutes or less from the daycare. I figure if I leave my house by 6:15 I should get to work about 15 minutes early. By the time I get to the daycare walk the kids to their classes sign them in then get to work. I want to make sure I am on time and everything. She done made it very clear if you mess up the first few days she would just be getting rid of you and find someone else. Being late, not in uniform, missing, not doing what is asked things like that.

I hope that I can get this to work into full time. I just don’t know how I am going to do this when school starts. Between having to get the kids to school and pick the kids up from school, going to class myself. I have one class in person and 4 online. I have to take 6 next term after this and I should be done.

I hate the visor and the apron we have to wear, at the stores they are wearing black ones. I thought that is what we would get but they are a blue almost like blue jeans but old looking and the visor has a red or yellow strip around it or something. It’s hard to explain they are just really ugly and horrible looking. The apron so long and I am so short it is a mess. I am not a hat person and we have to have our hair all pulled up and back. Not a good look for me at all. But it’s a job and it could be worse is what I keep telling myself.

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