{April 11, 2019}   Wow Post 3

I think this is the biggest wow post yet. I was surprised it was even said to me.

Bff called me earlier and was talking to me and we were talking about last night and everything going on. She said they went outside because she was telling him that he was talking about his background and drugs and all that. I told her I was questioned last night why they were outside. About what and what her oldest said to me.

I said to her what are you doing? she said I don’t know. Living on the edge I guess. I said why are you doing this? She said I don’t know I don’t know why. I said because you don’t want to be alone, you don’t want to be there by yourself. Didn’t really say anything just I don’t know or something. I said but your going about this all wrong. She said I don’t know what to do or how this happen.

I said why is here there anyway? She said what I said why is he staying at your house anyway? How did that happen. She said I was just trying to help him out. I said how? She said he needed a place to stay he is just a friend. I said no he didn’t. She said what? I said he did not need a place to stay. He had a places to stay. She said no he didn’t. I said he was at his moms and he was supposed to stay down the street in the camper at his friends house. I said that was were he was supposed to go when he came up there. So he had a place to stay. She sounded like she didn’t know what to say, she said I don’t know, I don’t know how this happen or why he is here.

I was surprised, shocked that she said he didn’t have a place to stay she was helping him. She knows I know better than that. Yeah he got thrown out of his moms but he already was lined up to move down the street. He had been planing on moving down there before he ever got thrown out at his moms so he had a place to stay. He made that plan when we all went out the 27th of February.

Then she tells me how he isn’t there, she says she gave him $10 this morning because she thought he was going to work but that he got called out the rest of the week. He hasn’t worked all week so far. She don’t know where he went or with who. She said she asked him if he was going to be there with the kids this afternoon/evening because she had to go back to work. He told her he didn’t know when he would be home.

I said interesting, all of a sudden he has a few dollars and he disappears, can’t say where he is, when he is going to be back or what he is doing or with who? Hum, he left over the weekend he told you where he was going and with who and all that then called you to come get him. Funny he don’t want anyone to know anything now. I said I was thinking it been a little while since he had gotten anything how was he doing without it. She didn’t say anything.

I said why are you paying everything for him everywhere and everything and giving him money? She said he hadn’t gotten his second check yet or something. I said oh he has another check coming? For working on the houses. She said I don’t know what he has or what. I think he had another check there somewhere. I said then why hasn’t he went and gotten it? She said I don’t know I think he has one I don’t know what he has. I said so no ones home he has an excuse to get someone to pick him up he is going to go get that check. She said what? I said yeah that is why he dont’ want no one to know who he is with what he is doing. He going to go get that check and get his fix. You have been home yall have been to the bank out to eat and all over the place and oldest has been home and could take him to get it he hasn’t asked you too but lets you spend and pay for everything for him. But as soon as there is no one there to take him anywhere he disappears.

Earlier when she was saying she didn’t know how or why it happen. I said I did and she didn’t want to be there alone and I said he just looking for a free place to stay and someone to pay for whatever he can get them to pay for. I said your doing it. She bought him two or three drinks or more last night they been out to dinner earlier that night she bought 3 or 4 there. He is drinking a lot lately. Maybe because he isn’t getting the other I don’t know. She again just kept saying I don’t know I just don’t know.

{February 12, 2019}   Valentine’s Day Help

Okay all my blog friends I need a list of free things to do on date night/V day. It will be evening late because I have to work. As far as I know it will be in the 70’s and dry.

So far I have…………


Just sitting at the river talking

Picnic dinner

Watching movies


Help add to my list things to do that evening together not gifts or things for later.

{October 11, 2018}   Re:Poor Oldest

Last night while I was at work she messaged me a picture of a message she had gotten from a lady.

It said she was left a huge aviary and has over 100 birds like the one that got away. She said she would love for her to have some since hers had gotten away. She ask her how much and she said free. She said she felt bad about hers getting away and she didn’t want her to be sad. That they had plenty to share. She was asking her how many she would like, what colors, how old everything. She has from hand held babies to years old. She sent her a bunch of pictures of all different ones.

But she is about 2 hours or more away. It would cost as much in gas as it would to just buy one. I told her to tell her thank you but at this time that was not a trip we were able to make. If I was and I was better prepared I would see if I could may buy a few from her and make the trip. If she gave oldest one or two and was interested in selling a few for a better price than pet stores it would be worth it. We could get baby ones and pick colors we wanted and she has a better selection than stores all around and hers are held and played with so tamed more than pet stores who just “hand feed” them.

Oldest told her it was not a trip we could make right now but thank you so much for such an offer. She wrote back and said she comes north of us about 15 mile away, a couple times a month. If we could tell her what she wanted age and color she would pick them and bring them. We could just meet her. I told her tell her we would talk about it she would get back with her she said okay great.



{July 16, 2018}   Maybe It Isn’t The Stress

Maybe it isn’t the stress that has me feeling like I need to go talk to them right now and figureout where everyone stands on everything. Where I stand and if this is going to open a new chaper in my life or leave me wondering through on my own as always. Maybe it is just me who is wanting to get it done,because I am ready to get up and have a life again and not just live it like I have been. Maybe this isn’t a bad thing at all. Just maybe its all going to turn out good and that is why I feel the need to get it done. Yeah I have no idea what to say or how to start and scared of the reaction and the outcome. I also feel complete peace and am 100% okay with my decision to talk to him tell him how I feel and feel that everything is going to work out with everyone being happer and working toward things they want. Even if there is rejection I am okay with it.

It has been a while since I set goals and made plans and really worked toward them. I told you all a long time ago I had reached most of my goals had to post pon a few. It was time to set some more and make some plans. I think that was right before or right after Father of the Year pulled all this and its just been a whirlwind of trying to keep up with everything and survive get through. Now I am starting to feel stable, I don’t know why because I am carless, not making it on the job i have. But I feel I am in a better mind set than I have been in a long time. It is time to get things rolling again. Maybe because I think I can truely move up by my cousin and soon. That is going to be my main short term goal. That whatever happens we are going to be okay.

I just feel free in so many ways. It is hard to explain. But affter thinking about everything over all I don’t feel that it is stress behind it all at all. Yes I am stressed about some things but not overly. I think I just feel I need to get up and get things done vs. Just doing whatever to get through the day.

{January 1, 2017}   Disappointed

Have you ever had a project that you wanted to do and you knew the things you needed but were looking for just the right ones for your project? You know the ones that when you see them for whatever reason when you look at them your like that’s it and no other will do! I got to have that for my project!

Well that is where I am at right now I decided to take on this project two nights ago and have been working on it in my free time and until I fall a sleep the last few nights. I have been trying to find the right thing or things for it. Two nights ago I found it the one that just screamed this is it, this is the one that I have been looking for now lets get it and get the project done. I could have had the project done yesterday/last night if I had this one thing. I went yesterday in my free time to get this one thing that was supposed to be free so that I could do my project. When I started doing what I needed to do get it, this message pops up and says enter your payment information. Item cost this much. I go and start looking around and even though it is supposed to be free you still have to pay like 5 cents for it. Now I have no problem paying 5 cents for something. But there is a catch, always a catch, when you put your information in to do this it keeps it and now bills your card every month and the price goes up. Of course you can cancel at anytime but, I have done this before and played hell canceling it and it took months at which I did not get any of my money back. I use to have a little prepaid card that I would keep a couple dollars on for things like this but have not needed it in years so I don’t know where it is. I have now went back to using only prepaid cards for things like this after just using my card once and having this happen. Because at least on a prepaid card if the money isn’t there they do not get their money and it will auto cancel you, where if I have it hooked to my bank it will just over draft my account. They get their money I have to pay the bank all the money and fee’s and they take it out next month again.

So now I am back to looking for just the right thing or things for my project again so that I can get it done. It shouldn’t take much time at all once I find that one that just jumps out and is it again.

{April 10, 2015}   Have My House Back

Father of the year is finally out of the house. He left last night and it has been so much more relaxed and pleasant. Me and the kids went to the doctors for my little guy, stopped picked up a table for my little bitty and went to see my grandma. On the way home we stopped and got my little guys hair cut and went to the store grabbed some things until we go shopping tomorrow. While we we were getting hair cut he stopped by for a second. He has called a few times and text a couple. Wanting to “check” on the kids. Then wants to chat. I just say got to go or don’t answer at all.

We got home the kids did dishes, took out the trash, walked the dogs and made drinks while I made dinner. He called to check in on the kids I answered. He wanted to know what we were doing. I told him what all they were doing he was like really? I said yeah we are getting ready to have dinner. He just kept saying stuff about the kids what they were doing and saying oh that’s good and things. Then he said wow I’m impressed. I didn’t say anything. I wanted to say yeah things are a lot different when your gone and everyone isn’t stressed. I didn’t. Because most the time it is a fight to get them to do anything around here and he is always bitching because they don’t do things or yelling at them for how they do them if they do.

But when it is just me and them they do help more and it isn’t a fight to get them to help most the time. I’m not as stressed and in a better mood they aren’t as stressed because of all the tension in the house.

My little guy keeps saying I’m going to miss daddy, like he is never going to see him again. I keep telling him he is going to see him on his days off and things just like now. Only thing is he just won’t be in and out here all the time or crashing in here at night laying around in the way doing nothing or having fits and going on and on about whatever anyone is doing and talking to his self about stuff all the time.

I woke up this morning about 9 I thought it was odd I had slept later than normal and not gotten up earlier. Most the time I wake up earlier but then don’t get up and go back to sleep. I thought how odd it was the school kids and traffic hadn’t woke me up earlier. I realised it wasn’t them that wake me. I am normally woken up at 5 am by his clock that he never gets up to and then them calling him on his work radio to find out why he isn’t at work past time for him to be there. Then since I have already been woken up two or three times in the last couple hours I am not a sleep that good so I then hear the kids and all that is going on outside why they are on their way to school. Hears to sleeping better.

I just have to get on the ball with everything and find some kind of job so that I can keep everything up and start getting ahead. I still would really like to start a business I just don’t know what kind or where to start. I would love to start a resale store or thrift store. Seems like the easiest to start out with. With a resale I wouldn’t have to worry about getting stuff I put it in and give the people so much of what it sold for rather than having to buy it first. With a thrift store I would have to have some stuff up front and need to buy some stuff as I went a long but would get a lot of donations as well. It’s just having money and credit to rent a space and things.

I have been researching things to do from home again as well. I just don’t know. I really need to figure out something. I filled out a app today to be a parts driver. Everyone keeps saying go to a store of something and cashier. I wouldn’t mind doing that but at the same time I really rather not. Its all hours of the day and night holiday and weekends. At least parts driver they will be closed a lot of holidays and they stop around the time most shops close between 4-6. If you work weekends it be probably half a day Saturday and not on Sunday since most shops are closed Sundays. I am going to call the guy and see if I can set up a time to go talk to him. Then I have my sons appointments that I have to go to as well twice a week. I forgot all about that. I can’t worry about it father of the year is going to have to help get him there part of the time.

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: