{September 9, 2020}   Missing Work and Looking For Help

I went to work yesterday and worked most the day. I left about an hour and half early. I was starting to hurt. Later in the day and the way I sit because of my chair and desk are puts a lot of pressure on my right side. I have to think about it and sit straight up to keep it from doing that. You know how hard that is when you are working on something and trying to be comfortable too. You aren’t thinking don’t slouch sit up straight.

Yesterday at the store I was getting stuff for dinner. I was looking for stuff I could eat, stuff to use with what we have at the house and quicker easier to make since I have been sick and he don’t get home until after 7. This way I am not standing moving so much and he isn’t making a big meal so late if he has to do it.

I picked up stuffing and gravy to go with chicken we have. Taco stuff and spaghetti to use with ground meat we have. Walking along I seen a can of backed beans. I thought I haven’t had those in awhile they look good. So I bought them and hotdogs.

Well by time I was done shopping getting it home and put away it was time to get him. We got home I told him what I got he said why not make the beans and hotdogs? It’s quick and easy and I haven’t had that in awhile. I cut up some hotdogs dumped them and the beans in the pot and heated it up. Dinner was done. Great relax, shower watch some tv and go to bed. Nice simple night. Wrong, not long after we went to bed the pain hit me and would not go away. Instead of coming and going in waves it came to stay again. I woke up drenched in sweat again and hurting horribly.

I had taken aleave for my tooth when I laid down. I did not know if I could take it and the pain pill they gave me together. The aleave wasn’t helping. I tossed and turned. Turned around laid at the foot of the bed to have more room and lay different. Nothing helped. I finally went to the couch to sit. The dog was on it and didn’t want to move off the blanket. He wasn’t happy. He finally moved enough for me to get the blanket from behind him let me have that. I reclined the other side and tried to sleep. I couldn’t find a good way to sit or lay. I had no clue what time it was at this point. I forgot my phone in the bedroom i wasn’t going to get it. I finally drifted off a few times and slept a little. Before long I heard the trash truck. That is the last thing I remember. I guess I finally fell a sleep for a bit. Next thing I knew JW was waking me up wanting to know why I was on the couch and how long I had been there. I laid back down in bed for about an hour. I was still hurting when I got up.

I dropped him off and decided to go see if I can get someone to help me get this taken out. I went to the one place and they said they were just general doctors. They couldn’t do surgery and things. That they were really short doctors because they lost a bunch over covid. They can’t even take new people. I left and went to the health place I was going to in 2018. I decided to go to the one closer to work. This way I could leave work and be there in 10 minutes. The one i go to is on the other end of the county. I was almost to it and work because of where I had to go for the other place anyway. So I got there and just didn’t feel like it was where I should go. I have heard okay things and bad things for their adult care. I like their after hours for kids. That is all I knew. I decided to go to mine where I liked the doctor’s and things.

I make the drive to find they moved. They are now further north by about 5 miles. I get there it is in a horrible area. I pull in and looking for it. I see 4 or more cops in front of a place. I look sure enough they are in front of where I need to go have someone with their stuff strung everywhere. I wasn’t looking around me and it just didn’t seem like a good place. I decided to leave and go to the one between them and my house. Where I take the kids for dental work. It is newer, nicer area and building. They have everything in one office. They have doctor, dental, kids and mental health all right there. You check in go to the waiting area and they come to get you for whatever you are there for that day. I liked that too. The over all office staff is a lot nicer as well. I don’t know the doctors I hope I like them.

I think I can get in there early before work too. I am thinking about getting set up with the mental health side as well and seeing them to get back on my meds. If I can go there before work and not have to miss.

I messaged work told them I had a bad night was up sick I was going to be late. I am going to message tell them i have to meet these people for help I’m not coming. It is to late to go at this point and I did meet with these people so it isn’t lying. I can not afford to miss. I have missed a week between them telling us to take off, now being sick and the holiday. I was going to work half day for the holiday and this past Saturday until I got sick. That made me miss Friday, Saturday and the holiday. Now today. They say I can make it all up we will see I guess. I am going to talk to them about that tomorrow and Friday. Try to work saturday. I am going to try to work all day normal day Saturday. Because I have to take time off Monday.

I went to the place they gave me all the paperwork and everything. But the soonest I can see the doctor to get the ball rolling to get this out is Monday. So a while if or when something will really be done and who knows how long that will take. Then off to get it done and time for recovery. Hope they do it friday back to work by Tuesday.

Had to edit to add a picture of puch getting his bath. He was sitting so nice until you try to take a picture then he jumps up and has a fit.

I haven’t been on the last few day’s because I have been in bed since Thursday night. I got off work a little early. I came home got everything set up and gave the dog a bath. I took him out to the hose it went well.  He was sitting but anytime you try to take a picture he jumps up barks and gets excited and jumps around. After that I took him in and got a shower myself. Then I took him for a ride to go pick up JW from work. He was so happy to go for a car ride and to his daddy.

We came home walked the dog and JW washed dishes and started dinner. I finished cooking and washed dishes from dinner. We sat talked and watched tv. My right side was hurting. It wasn’t bad at all just dull pain like maybe I pulled a muscle or something. I didn’t pay much attention to it or think anything of it. In a bit it went away.

We went to bed around 11watched the news and talked for a little while. I fell a sleep while he was watching his shows. I normally wake up a time or two in the night to use the bathroom or from being hot. I got up once and laid back down. I was rolled facing him he had his back to me. Just as I was falling back to sleep good he rolled over put his arm over me. He laid his knee on my side. He hardly touched me with his knee. But all of a sudden the pain that shot through my side was so extreme. Before I even thought I shoved his leg over. I thought he was going to fall off the bed.

After that the pain didn’t stop. It just got worse and worse. To the point I started feeling sick and thought I was going to puke. Finally after about an hour I woke him up. I needed something in case I got sick because I could hardly move from the pain. I did not know if I would make it to the bathroom. I wanted him to know something was wrong in case something happened. If I passed out or he couldn’t get me up or something. And see what he thought.

Just him moving on the bed made it so much worse. After he helped me he went and laid on the couch. I finally decided I had to go somewhere and get checked out. I know I have a gallstone and pron to cycst and they hurt when they pop. Either one you never know if it is bad enough to be seen and something needs done or if it will just pass.

But once the pain was bad enough to make me sick it was time to be seen. I didn’t know what we were going to do. As far as I knew they were not allowing anyone in the hospital but the person being seen. Unless they are under 18 then one guardian could go in. They wouldn’t even let them wait in the waiting room. I hate being in the ER alone. When I am to that point of being sick I just want someone there. He said he was driving me over there I ask him if he was sure. He said there was no way in hell I was driving and it was to late to be calling anyone. I needed to go now not once we found someone, they got ready and finally got here. He said if he had to he would just wait in the truck for me and if they kept me he would find someone to pick him up. It would be later people would be up.

We got there he parked in front of the door, helped me out and inside. Once they had me sitting down he went and parked the truck and came back in. They stopped him at registration for him to answer all their questions. They came and took me back. Told him he could come back once they were done with him.

The doctor came in right away asked what was going on felt around and did his exam. He of course ordered blood work, urine and a CT with dye. Right after he went out JW was finally able to come back. I went to the bathroom then got sick for the first time. I mostly just was dry heaving. Very little came up. Then I was stuck in the bathroom. There were bars to hold onto around the toilet and it was so low to the ground. I had to squat in front of it hold the bar to hold myself up. I couldn’t bend over because of the pain. Then jw had to come help me up because of the pain. It was a mess. I ended up in there I don’t know how many times.

They finally came in to do the iv get the blood and give me floods. They wanted to do it in my arm by this point the pain was horrible and I still had done nothing but dry heaving. I felt sicker than ever. I been there 45 minutes or more with no offer of pain meds or anything. They see the vain really well but once they get in it rolls or moves they can’t get it they sit there and fish for it and most the time end up blowing it. I hate needles and can not stand when they do that. I knew if that happened then the way i felt I probably would of pucked everywhere. I refused to let her do my arm. She said they have CT with dye they need it in the arm blah blah. I said no they don’t the hand is fine and that they did it with it in the hand ever time before. She gave me a gown to put on I ask her if I could stay in my clothes. I was cold already and hurting to bad to be changing clothes. I told her I had nothing metal on. All I had on was sweatpants and t shirt. I felt so bad I wasn’t about to put jeans or my other pants on. I got JW’s sweatpants and one of his black tshirts so I didn’t have to put a bra on either. She said I just don’t want to get blood on your clothes. I said why would there be chance of that? She said from doing the iv. I said oh that is fine I’m not worried about that. She said just stick your arms through put it over your clothes for now. Really how much blood are you going to get from putting an iv in or even taking tubes after that. If it is way down in my hand. I could care less at that point i was comfortable in my clothes. If they got messed up i could replace them. He wasn’t caring he said leave them on it was fine.

She finally stuck it in my hand got it right away first try. Got everything she needed then said she was now going to give me the medication the doctor ordered. I ask what that was and she said zophran. I asked if he gave me anything for pain. She said no. I thought I might cry. She said this will keep you from getting sick and stop the stomach cramps. I said that isn’t the pain the pain is in my side no where near my stomach and this is not going to keep me from getting sick. I am getting sick from the pain until it is less or I finally get sick and empty my stomach I am going to be in there. She told me not to go to the bathroom to puke in this little bag she gave me. I can’t do that. It is so small the opening is as well i don’t want to sit there in the bed puking in front of everyone walking by or what.

Well the pain was getting worse and then the iv in my hand made it unable to really move or get comfortable. It was in my left hand the pain in my right side. I got up and was walking around beside my bed there. JW was telling me I needed to lay down not be moving so much. I couldn’t help it. I tried to put my arms on the table they roll up to the bed for you to use. I wanted to just lean on it it was against the wall. It was sticky and dirty. The floor in my room was nasty the trash running over into the floor. The one roll of toilet paper was nasty i threw it in the trash. So now I can’t touch the table to lean on try to help with pain. I am hooked to the iv can’t go to the bathroom i was getting man. I hit the call button this nurse or something came in. I told her I had to go to the bathroom. She unhooked the iv to let me go.

I did have to go so I did. I was still about to get sick so I stayed in there. I honestly at that point felt better squatting down holding on to the bars. It took weight or pressure off my side. No sooner than i turned around and went to stoop down I got sick. It went all over the seat. I felt bad but I was trying. I thought earlier I seen blood in it but then thought no it was just something I had eaten. Now i seen it better was sure that was what it was. At that point most everything had come up i turned and spit in the sink and it was just bright red blood. I already told him I needed someone he was right on the other side of the door it was cracked. The bathroom was in my room and i open the door some when I finished using the bathroom. He went to find my nurse she came in there. I told her and showed her.

She said to me, I told you to stay out of here and if you had to puke to do it in the bag. Nothing about why I am puking blood. Or anything. I was mad I said I had to go to the bathroom and it happen before I could get out of here. I was getting paper towels trying to wipe my face and clear my nose and throat from what just happen she is being nasty. She did say the doctor decided to order something for pain since your still sick. If you get back in bed I can go get it. If you had puked in the bag i could of had that tested to see what is going on or what is wrong. There are reasons we tell you to do things. I said well like I said I didn’t know I went to the bathroom didn’t make it out. I asked what he was giving me for pain she said morphine. I ask if they could give me anything else told her how i had it before and on does i itched for 3 days. They told me it was normal and a side effect. She said it is a side effect but it is not normal to itch 3 days later. I told her how it done me when I was in labor she said you’re allergic to it. I said that is what I thought but they told me no. She said no you are. They ordered something else and gave me.

That only took the pain from like a 15 to an 11. But it was tolerable. They took me for the ct right after that that lady was really nice. She did the scan came gave me the dye and did the next one. Then took me back to my room. They finally came in around 6 something and said it was my gallbladder like I already knew. That I had stones in there but they didn’t feel they needed to keep me and take it out but I needed to get it done right away. Sent me on my way. For the last 8 years I have had one stone they said would pass that didn’t. In 2017 I still had the one stone. Now they say stones. But send me home again.

We got home around 7 something I stripped my clothes off I felt so dirty from that room and getting sick. I laid down. JW took a shower and came laid down with me and when he did I went right to sleep. I never even heard him get up and get ready for work leave nothing. Poor JW drove me over there sat with me helped me brought me home and turned around and was at work by 845am. His friend from work picked him up since I couldn’t drive him he said. He worked a 12 hour day and came home. I ask him to please go in late get some sleep at least before he went if he wasn’t going to call in. That is what I thought he had done when he came and laid down. He said no he just laid down with me for a few to help me feel better. He fell a sleep for about an hour that was it. He had only slept an hour or two before we went to the hospital.

I laid in bed all day and slept off and on Friday. I got up and went to get my meds they gave me from the hospital that was hell just driving there and back. I laid right back down. JW got home I was sleeping. I got up took my blanket and pillow to the couch sat there with him talked to him for a bit. He heated himself up something to eat took a shower and we went to bed. I slept through the night.

Saturday he had his friend pick him up on the way to work. I stayed home in bed again. The pain isn’t all the time it comes and goes like contractions and that is what it feels like but over in my side and radiates out from there. I got ready and picked him up from work at 8. We stopped by the house so he could change and walk the dog. Then went up the road and had dinner. I felt to bad to mess with getting anything ready or to cook. I knew he wouldn’t feel like it coming home at 8 after a 12 hour shift. I had not eaten since dinner Thursday evening. I was so hungry. Scared to eat anything. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and corn instead of fries. It didn’t bother me.

We pretty much came home showered and went to bed. I took my pain pills they helped me sleep but i got up to use the bathroom can’t get back to sleep. I was awake most of Saturday night but feel a lot better today. We went washed clothes I got what I hope to be my last covid test. Then we stopped to get something to put on the grill. Now we are home relaxing. The pain comes and goes still and got a little bad when we were doing clothes. But I think because it was so hot in there and I got over heated. I walked outside to the truck got a drink and felt better.


{March 26, 2017}   Oh What A Day

It is almost 230 in the afternoon and I have gotten nothing done today but sleep. I woke up about 830 and laid here waiting on the kids to wake up thinking about all I need to get done today. The kids got up about 930 and were going in and out talking. In a few minutes I got up and went to the bathroom and I was sick it just hit me all all at once. I told the big kids to find them all something to eat and laid back down. I sleep for a while. Father of The Year showed up he is going to get a bumper for my truck finally. I found one with everything I need for $50. But he has to pull it. It is white but I am going to paint it black. I just hope it isn’t beat up. I wanted to go was going to until I woke up sick. I figured I could put all my work on my lap top and do it on the way there and back then turn it in when I got home. I had asked a friend about watching the kids. I wanted to be able to look at it and look for some other stuff. But that won’t be happening now. It is about an hour drive north of me but the parts are half the price or less than what I would pay around here for them so worth the drive to get them. Even with gas money it comes out a lot cheaper.

But thanks to my gallbladder I am home, I thought about going anyway when he got here but I was worried I get between here and there and get sick or get there and get sick and have to use their bathrooms. I have never used a junkyard bathroom and do not plan to start today. I don’t even want to think about what they look and smell like. I be sicker than I am now probably. I am going to have to do something about this, this i the second attack I have had like this in a few months. I have never had them that close or been sick from them just in pain. Not good when you start getting sick from it.

I guess I better get off here get something to eat and get my work done. I have 4 or 5 things due. I got mixed up on what week I was on for one of my classes. But it’s good none of it should be to hard and I some  of it is due tomorrow, my goal is just to get it all done today.

{February 4, 2017}   Guess I am Headed to The ER

I was woke up out of a dead sleep in pain and sick this morning around 830. I ran to the bathroom and had to go and started getting sick. I had a horrible pain in my side around my gallbladder. It has been hurting for a few weeks or more now but I haven’t been sick or anything like that. Just a constant dual hurting. I figured maybe the stone is moving around in there. This morning it has been stabbing smashing pains that come and go with it and when I get them I have to run to the bathroom. I ate late last night but no food is coming up just dry heaves like or whatever they call it as just green, yellow and clear stuff was coming up. I was in and out of the bathroom about 5 times in 30 minutes or less. I finally was able to just lay down and go back to sleep for a little bit but then the kids kept coming in and bothering me and shaking my bed. I had the people coming to drop the furniture off and my friend who was supposed to come over this morning. I was just trying to wait for her to get here. I figured maybe she could watch the kids why I rested. I got sick a few more times and then they called said they were almost here to drop the furniture and she wasn’t here yet.

The kids moved everything but the tv and the table it sits on. I told the guy it needed to go there and it needed to be moved. They didn’t offer to move it I figured maybe he was going to get the other guy to help him. They come back wanting to put part of the couch down. I said could you all moved the table and tv to the other side of the room just where ever? I told them I woke up this morning with a horrible gallbladder attack and couldn’t not be picking up on it if they wanted to just sit the tv in the floor over there and sit the table over there would be fine. I didn’t need them to hook it all up. They just moved the tv and table all at once. I about freaked I don’t know how they didn’t drop the tv off the table. I they moved it nothing happen so I didn’t say anything. I figured well they are moving it they drop it they can replace it or I will just send the stuff back. I know they do more than move a little table and a tv when they go to peoples houses to drop stuff off it wasn’t like it was a big deal. Me and my oldest could have moved it with no problems I just couldn’t pick it up because of being sick.

I finally called my friend she wasn’t even ready to head this way and was talking about having to hurry home because of stuff she had to do so I just told her I was sick and to come tomorrow or something. I text Father of The Year to see what he was doing so he could sit with the kids or what. I ask what he was doing he said he had to clean, his go to anytime you ask him something. Then said he was laying there getting ready to get up. I told him I was hurting and sick he didn’t say anything. I told him I needed to go to the ER and he just didn’t say anything. My mom tried to call me 3 or 4 times while I was trying to text him and I felt like I was going to have to run to the bathroom. I told her I call her in a little bit then he is telling me she really needs to talk to me and wants me to call her. I said look I just told you I am fucking sick and need to go to the hospital not that anyone cares I will call her when I can. I had to run to the bathroom again. I finally called she was wanting to know about money I owe my Grandma. I know I do I have it taken care of I’m sick but this is what they are worried about. I told him he needed to come take care of the kids I had to figure out how to get to the hospital because I can’t drive myself getting sick like I am. In a while he says ok he can come get them he needs to run to the store he can drop me off at the hospital.

It’s been hours I am hurting and been sick I don’t know how many times since he just called and said he is on his way home from about 20 miles south of me, he is headed home for a minute and then he will be here. He lives 8 miles or so away from me but went where ever first. He said he had to take my mom to get something to eat and dropping her off the other stores there was some problem with so they ended up at the one 100 miles away from home.

They keep talking about if this is the stomach bug going around and all this. I told her it is not the stomach bug that is going around my stomach don’t hurt at all I don’t feel sick like anything is wrong at all. I just have this pain in my side and it’s causing me to get sick. I want to eat and think I would be fine to eat but I keep getting sick when I get this pain. I don’t want to eat and then have it all come back. I drank some tea about 15 minutes ago and it hasn’t come back and my stomach isn’t bothering me since I drank it. But it wasn’t before it is whatever this is in my side. I think gallbladder since they said I had a stone before. As long as I lay down and don’t get up and move around to much it don’t hurt as bad and I don’t feel like I am going to be sick to much. The more I am up and moving around the more it hurts and then I start feeling sick. The only one who would have been here as soon as I called and taken me and sat with the kids is my friend R and she don’t have a car and been sick too but she would have came. I would have had to go out of my way to pick her up bring her back and then go to the hospital. I don’t know what they may do to me there so I don’t know if I could drive myself when I leave there if I took myself. If I can make it without getting sick or being in to much pain to drive. I just want to sleep I sleep pretty good last night. Sitting here now writing this I feel it pushing on my side the way I am sitting and it is starting to hurt bad again. I am going to get off here find something to put on so that I can go when he gets here. I will update when I can. Praying it isn’t something they have to operate on but worried it is since the stone didn’t pass before like they thought. I don’t know how I feel about it all right now I am just a little numb to it all and aggravated with everything. I take everyone everywhere lend them money everything and I need to go be seen and can’t get there to be seen or someone to even sit with the kids. I just don’t know what to think or feel or anything else at this point.

et cetera
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