Single___Parent___Life











I am so mad right now I want to call his boss back and tell him off. When we are talking about all this on the phone and I am upset and talking about owing and needing this money to pay bills.

His boss says to me don’t you have a man in your life?

I said what? I was stunned and confused because it came from nowhere. As I said what it hit me what he was getting at.

I said no I don’t, I said I haven’t had anyone in my life in 4.5 or 5 year. He said wow really? No? I said yeah, I said I am the only one doing everything for 4 kids by myself I get no help from anyone at all. I said and most times I am working 2 or 3 jobs just trying to keep bills paid. I have no time for anything or to meet anyone or go out. I am here taking care of my kids and making sure they have what they need. I think again he said oh and something he was surprised. I didn’t figure he would belive it but he seem as if he did he was really surprised. But I know peterpan has told him who knows what and her too.

I do think I am going to message him tomorrow and ask him if we can meet up sit down and talk. Because he needs to really know what is what and it needs to be talked about calmly not when i am mad or upset. Now that he is starting to see what is really going on.

He said to me I know it isn’t a lot and not what you want to hear but I am going to pray for you. I said I gave up on that a long time ago, if that worked I woukd not be in the situation I am in. He said well now you cant think that way or something. I said well it is true everytime i turn around im shit on. We got off onto something else then.

I really do want to sit down and talk to him and tell him look i know you just think im baby momma trying start crap bitter or whatever because I know they have said all kinds of things about me. But before I say anything else, think about this. Who has the kids? Who has had them? Who has had a house the last 4/5 years? Who has a vehicle, who is working 2 or 3 jobs to make sure their kids have a place to stay? Who is taking them to school, doctors, field trips and everything else? Who has made sure they had some kind of birthday and Christmas why the other don’t call send a card or anything else? If he isn’t doing any of that for his kids and has lied about it then why do you think he would tell the truth about anything else? You can see my kids you can talk to them, you can ask anyone thet will tell you who is doing it all. If I wasn’t doing something do you think I would be in my house as long as I have? Do you think I would have a car? So now lets talk so I can tell you what is going on what happen and how we have ended up where we are. Then you decide who you believe.



{July 31, 2018}   contemplate Death

Do you ever contemplate about your own death? Ways, what it be like, how long it would take? Thats the mood I am in right now. I don’t want to and couldn’t but I am over it all. But I don’t know anyway that would be quick and over with feel nothing, that nothing would go wrong it be quick painless and I would know nothing. But there is no way to have that for sure so…



et cetera
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