{October 28, 2019}   Back To School, Maybe

I am thinking about going back to school next year. I received mail obe day last week from the school talking about going back and different options there are. They had grade forgiveness and something else I thought I maybe able to get in and get my grant and things back. If I could do that I would just take two classes at a time. It will take a little longer but I think I could handle it and pass them with decent grades not just slide by with C’s and be happy with that. When I started and was able to put tine into them and before accident I was getting A’s and B’s.

A lot of it has to do with my accident because it now takes me more time to do the work than it did before. I have to read things over and over and really think about what it is saying and put it all together and make it make since. It takes me longer to do the work and projects as well.

Where as before when I didn’t have to take all the extra time to read it a dozen times and then to go over it and think about it forever and a day to make it make since I didn’t need as much time to get things done.

But now I can work on it in the day at work and at night as well. I can work on it in the evening on the weekends after the kids go to bed. I am going to have to miss a little work to take a few classes at the schools but I can’t help that I can’t take them on line. But I think both jobs will be alright with that of it is minimal. I think most will be in the mornings so just the day job. If I can work it good enough then I can get out of class and not be late or just be a few minutes late if I can get into an early morning 8 am class that is less than 2 hours.

I will worry about that latter first I have to see if I can make it to the meeting and if I can get back in without costing me over $2000 out of pocket to do it.

{November 4, 2017}   School Is A Disaster

I told you all messed up in one of my classes and missed two big test, I have been trying since to take them for half credit and go with some points are better than none and can’t get the teacher to respond. I am going to have to go to the provost office or something if I do not hear from him this week. I gave him days and times asked what days or times would be best and everything. I think as long as I get some points I can pass the class if I work my butt off doing everything else.

Well some how two weeks ago I missed work in another class and now this week had a mess with the same class. I am so stressed and my depression is kicking my ass. I was confused about what was going on and so busy by the time I sat down the day it was do to do the work it was stuff that needed to be worked on all week. It is different than or normal work we have had this far. I am going to sit down this week and try to get it all done and hope that she will take it and give me some credit for it if not full credit.

I have not done my 50 hours yet and have to get them done by the 25th of the month. I was going to go there Friday and called the lady I needed to talk to was out for the day. I left her a messaged asked her to call me back, so I am waiting for that. I am going to tell her the truth and hope that she will work with me to get this all done.

I feel that I am not keeping up with anything or getting anything done. I walk around so tired I can’t stand it all day everyday and wish I could stay in bed most days. I am to the point I care but don’t care at the same time. I am going through the motions but if it’s right it is if it isn’t it isn’t and if i miss something it stresses me out but I just feel more at a loss, tired and hopeless at this point. I really need to go get new meds but really don’t feel like doing anything at all. The days I have taken off I should have been doing stuff but I didn’t because I just can’t force myself to get things done anymore. I know I need to do it I tell myself I do and it stresses me to no end but I still just feel like oh well I will get to it and I use to get to it but now it seems that I can’t even keep track of when I am supposed to get to things or what day it is so I miss most things now. I have to get over this.

I feel so very alone right now I don’t know why, it felt good when I was talking to the guy from the shop and things but then that stopped and its not helped any, really probably made things worse. I guess I am just tired of feeling like I am doing this alone and being alone.

{May 8, 2017}   Re: Impatiently Waiting

My final grade for my last class just posted I have an A in that class as well. I finished the term out with two A’s and two B’s. I am happy and relived. I am now off of financial and academic warning. Trying to put together my classes I will be taking in the Fall since I can’t take any this term. Can’t wait to get this all over with and out of the way.

{May 8, 2017}   Impatiently Waiting

So far 3 out of 4 teachers have turned final grades in and I am very impatiently awaiting the 4th one to get his in. Have 2 B’s and 1 A so far.

I thought I had a C in one of those classes but she went back and regraded the final and graded it on a curve, that brought my grade to a B. The test was two parts multiple choice and essay questions. She had already told me the other day I got all the essay questions right but missed some of the others. I received an email today she sent to everyone saying she changed the way she graded them. She said she didn’t really like the multiple choice questions and that she felt they were not clear on what some were asking and that the things they were asking for were to close and easily confused basically. She said everyone did really well on the essay part so she knows we know what we are doing and that is why she went in and regraded them. She said she felt it was a better representation of what kind of students we were. It was nice she did’t let one test mess our grades up when we had really good grades through out the hole class. The way finals are tied in it can bring your grade down a letter grade or more. For her to see that it was everyone that was having problems in the same area but knew the ones we had to answer our self and fix it is great.

I had one other teacher that will do the same kind of things. She will look at how many people missed the same question if it is close to half the class or more then she says that either we did not cover it enough or she did not make it clear enough for us to understand. If we had covered it enough or she had made it clear enough then half the class or more should not have gotten it wrong and will give credit for it or grade to make up for it.

I keep going back and checking my grades to see if this last teacher turned in the grades or not. I checked with him the other day to make sure he had all my work and everything was okay. We email or work to him so sometimes things get lost between us emailing him, his office and everyone else. He said he had it all everything looked good. I am a little worried about the project I had to turn in and the final paper that needed to be turned in. The project was a video that Wanda was supposed to help me with and then left that weekend. I had to use my oldest and because of my mom we ended up being up supper late working on it. I don’t think it came out all that good but with what I had to work with her not wanting to do it but doing it to keep me from failing. Then my research paper I used the same paper that I did for one of my other classes and turned in. We had to do a paper on working with a group and what practice or theory we would use and why, they wanted to know what we felt would be rewarding and difficult to work with them. I did mine on single parents, well single mothers for the most part because like I put in my paper there wasn’t really information on single fathers. In the other class we had to pick a group and write about what we needed to be aware of and things like that when working with them. Pretty much the same stuff when it came down to it. I had already picked the topic of single parents for that class then seen it was also a group we could pick for the other class so I ended up picking it there too. The other class I had picked a different topic to start with but got half way through it and just wasn’t feeling it so then went back and did the single parent topic and wrote the paper in an hour or two. I got five or ten points off for little things like formatting the paper and missing a word or something but that was it nothing wrong with the paper its self.

{February 5, 2017}   A Mixed Bag of Thoughts

I finished all my work for my classes this week but one, it isn’t due until tomorrow and I am going to finish it when I get off here. I am not looking forward to the grade I am going to get from the one paper I turned in in my class I just finished up, it is the one class I took last semester but messed up in. I didn’t have it already done because it was one I skipped last time. But it is one of those where I really need the points even if it is just some vs none. I know I will not get a very high grade at all, like I said just hoping for some. It was kind of a hard one for me and it probably really isn’t. She wanted us to go to the nationalhumanservice website and tell her what we took from it and what we learned. She wanted to know about a few things from the site and wants it in a two page essay. I do not see anything there to make a two page essay out of it is really more of a you need to use their services to get much out of it. Needless to say my paper was about half a page and most of it telling her just that, I didn’t get much from it other than it looks like a good site but without really using the serves and things it was hard to learn anything or take much away. I am not good at these kinds of things, my friend says BS my way through them but I find BSing my way through much of anything hard to do because I am more of straight forward tell it like I see and feel it is person so just making shit up to get it done don’t come easy for me.

I went ahead and turned in my responses for the two discussion boards we have due next Sunday and turned in my journal entry for next week as well. So everything for that class is done other than responding to one other person on each board. I can’t do that until someone else post because I was the first to post on both. Most times I am last or close to last. But since I already have the work done and she hasn’t changed anything I just pull it and turn it in. I didn’t not pass because I didn’t know it or got bad grades on what I turned in so that isn’t the problem. I didn’t pass because I didn’t do enough. When things got really bad after the storm and I was sleeping 99% of the time I missed turning in a few things that had a big impact on my grades. I thought I had a make up week coming and I missed it so I didn’t get other stuff turn in that I was going to either.

My little one is not feeling good she keeps telling me there are bee’s in her ears. I have been giving her ear drops for the last few days but they are not helping. I told her I would take her to the doctor tomorrow but I have to go to class in the morning. I know I will not get out of there in time to get there and I will not be able to take her to daycare after either. I am praying she is ok to go to daycare and then I can pick her up after class and take her. I can pick her up early. I gave her something to help her sleep she is finally going to sleep.

I got three movies out of the Redbox today while at the store so that I could get my school work done while they watched them. I feel bad because they then kept coming in wanting me to watch them with them and things and I couldn’t. I tried to explain to them that I took them out shopping and to dinner Thursday after school and most the night then took them out again after school Friday as well. Then ended up sick and in the hospital yesterday and last night so I had not worked on my school work at all those days but spent two of those days with them having fun and getting them things they needed and helping them find out about guinea pigs and things. They don’t understand they just want to spend time with mommy. My little one is in my bed now because she came to tell me that the medicines that my oldest just gave her are not working. I guess now they are working because she is passed out on my pillow covered all up in my blanket. What a difference 10 minutes makes. Poor kid I think she is going to be like I am with medications. They are going to really affect her when she takes them.

I feel bad because I have to go to class tomorrow and trying to think of anyone I can to sit with her why I go so I don’t have to drop her off at school but I have no one. The only one that would probably do it is my friend R if she is feeling ok but I didn’t get to call her to see and it is to late now. I didn’t know she was going to be feeling so bad that I would consider keeping her home. I really don’t want to miss anymore school right now because we are getting into stuff that I need to be there for. Wish she would sit still long enough I would just take her with me and let her color. There are only 9 people in the class I don’t think anyone would care or say anything. Even the teacher probably wouldn’t care really he just easy and laid back. He probably turn it into some kind of lesson to teach about. I guess I will have to see how she is in the morning I may just end up staying home with her. I really didn’t want to miss another day so soon. If I had thought she was really going to have to go I would have taken her earlier so that we wouldn’t miss tomorrow. My poor baby I hate when she is sick and feels so bad.

{January 17, 2017}   Okay Last Post from Me Today

But I had to tell everyone how proud I am of my oldest, she is going to be 13 at the end of the months. She is the one I told you all about in my other post who got honor roll and who is ahead in her work at school. Today I go to pick them up and I am sitting in the truck and they come out and head to the truck to get in. Hot on their heals is the teacher. There was a car behind me but I figured she was coming to mine. The kids got in talking about the new kid and how he was being his wonderful self again. I asked them what they had done or what had happen why the teacher was coming to talk to me? They didn’t answer just went on chattering about the day.

She comes up and told me my oldest had done it now so much so that she was nominated for an award. I thought she was joking I am thinking she did something to the new kid because something happen and the class thought it was great because of the way he is. So I am waiting to hear what happen and what she did. Then she tells me that she was nominated for student of the year by the principle of the school for the Step Up for Students Scholarship that pays for her to go to school there. There is going to be a big dinner for her and her family to go to and a award ceremony and that is when we find out if she wins. It is next month sometimes. I am hoping it is after I get my money so that I can buy her a nice outfit to wear and things. She has nice outfits but she has outgrown a lot and I need to get the boys and myself something to wear as well.

She deserving of it and I hope she gets it, but she is just excited to be nominated right now. She works hard and pushes herself to get ahead and do better.

This has sparked my other ones interest as well and he wants to be student of the year or nominated for it. I told him then he needs to do his work and not be slacking to get on track and then work ahead or to his level and do good at least to get nominated. He didn’t like that but it is true it took a lot of work to get where she is and to even get nominated if he don’t want to put the work in then he don’t deserve it and isn’t going to get it or nominated for it. It’s life and you get out of it what you are willing to put in better for him to learn that now. Might be hard lesson he don’t want to learn but the sooner the better. I have told them this and tried to show them but maybe its more of the real world exposure is what he needs to kick him in the butt and get him moving.

{January 17, 2017}   One More Brag

I got Little Guys report card today he got all S’s and E’s but two things and they are not accadimics they are just like neatness and something else along those lines. So I am very proud of him and his grades and how well he is doing. I was worried he would be behind since he didn’t know his letters and wasn’t reading and things yet. But he has picked it up very quickly. I think because he wanted to learn it and wants to keep learning. Before he was to interested in playing and I wasn’t pushing the learning since he was young and we planed to homeschool. I can’t really say that the little bit of summer vpk he had really even did any good for him as they kept saying he was behind and he never came home with any work they had done or learning stuff just outside time and things. I think the kids in his class ended up being farther behind than he was so it didn’t help. They had other learning and physical disabilities that he didn’t have. So it wasn’t a good fit in the learning department.

I also think that this teacher takes the time to start at the be gaining with them and don’t expect them to know all this stuff when they come in. They teach kinder like it was when I was in school and they learn it there. Because she told me when I asked her at the start and was worried he wasn’t where he needed to be he was right now track and one of the best students in the class and learning very well.

He want to go to the big kids school next year and I don’t know if he is ready for that. I know he loves it there and they love having him there but it is’t like his school now at all. He is going to be more independent learning and not all the play time they get now I don’t think. If they don’t get more kids he will be the youngest with the rest being older. But he says he don’t care he likes going to their school doing the fun things they get to do.

I don’t think he will learn some of the things he is learning from the kids where he is over there so that will be good. I just don’t know I go back and forth on this a lot lately now that we are in the second semester and he is all ready to go next year. I really thought he would change his mind but he isn’t. I told him he could go. I am not sure why I don’t want him to go after some of the things we have put up with at this school. I think a little part of me is sad little bitty will be there all by herself. They are’t in the same class but they do see each other and play with each other through out the day outside and in daycare together and they do play together. But I also find that when I pick him up he is playing with the littler kids more than kids his age so it may be good to get him around older kids again. Right now I am just happy that he is doing good in school and happy.

{January 16, 2017}   Have to Brag

I have to brag on my older two for just a minute, they got their report cards Friday and they both made honor roll. I am not sure if I said this in another post or not but wanted to make sure I put it out there. I am very proud of them both. I had no doubt my oldest would get it because all she does is school work. She has 43 books out of 60 that she needs done for the year when she got out for winter break in December. She in the last week of school that they have been back has already finished all but the check ups and self test for 4 more. She can work past the self test at home but has to let the teacher check the work and then do the self test at school. Once the work is checked and good and she passes the self test with a high enough score then she can take the test for the over all book. If she gets high enough on that then she moves on to the next book. so by the end of the week she should have all new books in each subject. She loves that she can work at her own pace and finish as quick as she wants to.

My Big Boy on the other hand does not push himself as she does and slides by with getting just enough done. The grades are there he does great work it is just getting enough done in the 9 weeks to make honor roll. last 9 weeks he didn’t do it. I told him this 9 there was no reason not to that I expected it. It isn’t a lot of work and he is more than capable of doing it without pushing himself like my oldest. If he just sets his goals and does his work he should be able to get it done. I think he is already well on his way to have honor roll this 9 weeks as well. They both brought new books home over winter break to work on. I told him he should bring them home and at the end of break work on them so to get ahead if he didn’t want to have to work so hard in class. He really isn’t but he feels like it sometimes. He didn’t think he made honor roll last 9 weeks so when he got his report card Friday he was thrilled. The fact that he is ahead some and so thrilled about making it last 9 weeks makes him want to push and get it next time too. I see him working harder and he has started bring his work home to work on it and make corrections if he needs to so he can finish the books faster. He will tell me I brought my books home today I have to correct this and that and then I can test out. I have so many books done and I think I will get new ones by such and such time. I just hope this excitement stays with him because he is a little behind and he could be caught up soon if he keeps it up.

I am not sure where my Little Guy is as he did not bring home a report card. I am going to have to ask his teacher tomorrow where his is. Maybe I was supposed to pick it up at conference but she never said we needed one or gave us a day or time she was having them. I see her every day and we talk about how he is doing and things so I didn’t think we needed one. He had all good marks last time as well so I am not really worried about it.

{August 6, 2016}   End Of My First Term

Thursday I finished my last two finals and my last assignment for this term. I am very happy with my grades on my finals, I made B’s on the 3 out of 4 I took. I have 3 C’s and 1 B for my over all grades for the courses. I normally would not be happy about the 3 C’s but with all the running around I had to do the last month, he out rages amount of work I have had to keep up with just the one class I am just happy that I passed. Of curse I want the great grades and to have everything be A’s and B’s but sometimes, you just have to be happy with just doing good enough and that you passed instead of failing.

{July 18, 2016}   Should Be Doing Homework

But it is so late and I am tired but can’t sleep, but not in a state I would get much done if I tried working on it. I thought I was going to get my bed to myself tonight I was wrong. Money just came got in my bed ask if we could watch  a show. Before I could move things to lay down and turn it on she is passed out sideways across the top of my bed here behind me. I could try to put her in her bed but lately she sleeps like a feather. I lift her off the bed and she is pointing to get back in it and don’t stay in hers if I take her.

I think this is another reason I can’t get my work done I am not sleeping good at night. Then all I want to do in the day is sleep or I walk around like a zombie just bumping through the day. I have two reports due one this Sunday and one next Sunday. Next weeks is an eight page report from an interview I have to do with someone who works with domestic violence. My sons theripest use to and said she could do it but I think I need someone who does it now. I will probably end up using her and hoping for the best because I don’t have anyone to watch the kids while I go interview someone. I will just print the questions out or email them to her and have her answer them or do them at her office why the kids play. I have to get at least a C in the class, I don’t think at this point I can pull off anything higher but with the Summer I have had I will be happy with a C. Then my computer class decided to save a bulk of the work and drop on us at the end of the class when it is the harder stuff rather than at the start of the class when the stuff we were learning was easier. He even said that most students in past classes found these to be harder chapters and work and that it seem to take them a lot longer. But does he try to change things around and even things out no. You would think knowing we have a shorter term and having to get everything done in less time than the other terms he would try to make it so that all the hard stuff is due in a week at the same time. It is a class I let drop me last time so I didn’t know all this work was at the end. I thought it was another one that I knew what kind of work load it was and it would go good with the other classes. Boy was I wrong.

I have to have the class for my degree but not to move on and do other things. If I don’t pass it this time I am going to save it until later and take. I still can’t decide what to take this term coming up and the last day to sign up for classes is in the next week or so. If I wait longer I will be charged a late fee for each class and I don’t want to do that. I want to keep as much of my money as I can and not waste it. Part of it depends on if I pass this one class or not. I guess I will go ahead and pick my classes as if I am going to pass, if I don’t I will have to redo it and then pay the late fee. I think I have figured it out and if I do really good on the last few lessons and the exam I will have a just under a B.

I guess I better get to sleep I have to have my boy to school in about 5 hours. Not sure if we are going to school or making a stop at the doctors first. He has a cough, now my big boy has it and my oldest says her throat hurts. I want to keep him home but they said if he misses days he will not be allowed to finish the program. He really likes going, he would be so upset if he couldn’t keep going. It’s ok if he is late or if he gets checked out early he just has to show up for part of the day. I may just take him and let him stay long enough to get counted as there and bring him home. I am not sure yet.

Right now I am just going to enjoy my few hours in my bed alone. I got her to her bed without waking her, she isn’t feeling good either and hasn’t had a nap today so she must be wiped out.

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: