Single___Parent___Life











{March 25, 2019}   SELF WORTH (Very Deep!!!)

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: ‘What kind of man are you looking for?’ She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said, ‘Yes. She began to expound, ‘As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man… or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’ The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, ‘I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, ‘I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, ‘You are asking a lot. She replied, “I’m worth a lot”. Send this to every woman who’s worth a lot…. and every man who has the brains to understand!!!

I won’t say this don’t exist but it is very few and far between and impossible to find it seems.



When I was finishing my post about friends I had this thought. It has been on my mind all night and this morning.

Am I looking for someone to grow with or am I looking for someone to fix? 

To me someone to grow with is someone wanting the same things in life as you or close to. This way you can make those things happen together. Your not going to be perfect they aren’t either, your both going to have your “issues” or what but you are willing to help each other out. Be understanding and support.

Someone to fix is like Just Friends, To Broken For More

They have no goals, they aren’t happy in life they feel they have to have someone in life in order to be happy or do anything.

Or some one who can’t keep a job, drinks to much, someone who is abusive or cocky rude, who has a drug problem  spends their day doing what they have to in order to get it. Someone who has nothing and no ambition to have anything.

This is what I think of when I think of someone who needs “fixed”

When I was writing that post I was saying how my “friend” was finally doing something in his life and not just going through his day. He was doing something before but there were a few things I kind if had issues with that he was fine with. They weren’t bad or anything really wrong with it if he was happy okay. I just didn’t get how he was happy but everyone is different. I could of lived with it I wasn’t a big deal. But we just weren’t wanting the same things in a lot of areas. I don’t see it working out between us.

I was thinking about my old friend and Sleeping Beauty and where they are what they are doing or what in life. My old friend I don’t see growing with him even though we want a lot of the same things. But mostly because he don’t want kids involved.

I thought about Sleeping Beauty and my friend J saying to me all the time, you can’t fix him! Leave him alone. My friend at the hair shop saying you can’t fix him.

I keep saying I know and that I’m not trying to. Because in my mind I’m really not. When I thought about him I gotten to really know him. We had fun together, we could just sit and talk together lift each other up when we were down dealing with shit. We help each other out if we needed it, take the kids and do things or he do things here with them. We wanted a lot of the same things in life. Where we were each lacking I felt we filled in the gaps pretty well or could. He works and wants to work he wants the family and all that. He understood i had the kids they come first he felt they should.

Yes he has his problem but it isn’t a all day everyday thing. He can go without it and be fine. I know when he turns to it and does it. It was something we would of had to talk about. He have to be willing to stay away from it. I know he wants to but the hurdles and things he faces with it. I know I can’t make him stop or fix everything for him. Fix that for him. But the desire to stop have better and do better is there. I was willing to be there for him, beside him as support as he done it. Because I know I can’t do it for him or force him to. But I believe in the right situation with people who really care he could and would do it. I was prepared if he didn’t or couldn’t to step back and get out of it. Why I would of waited a while to bring the kids into it even though they know him.

But writing my post yesterday them saying you can’t fix him hit me. I thought was I trying to fix him? Like I said I felt we really messed and could grow together from where we each were. Yes he had this to work on he would have to figure that out and do that.

Then I started thinking so if they consider him needing “fixed” because of where he is what he has don’t have and his issue. I am okay with a lot of things if they want more and are trying to have more. So am I looking for someone to fix and not grow with?

 



{March 22, 2019}   What is The Difference In

Everyone please leave your opinion or thoughts in the comments. I had a thought today and now it has me wondering. I would love to hear what you all think and feel about this. Have a decision on it between anyone who is reading this.

What is the difference in being with someone you feel you can grow with and someone you feel needs fixed?

 



{March 20, 2019}   Strong Women

I shared this last year on my facebook. Not sure if I shared it here or not but felt it needed shared.

What are your thoughts?



Well last night now I guess since it is after 2 a.m. The other day I told you how me and Sleeping Beauty had been talking again and he is supposes to go to the fair with me and the kids.

Well Friday we were talking off and on about this and that like we always do. I said something about being sore and tired. He said he would give me a good massage but something may happen. I said something he said a happy ending. I said one of those we were warned about. He said something about me liking it or something. I just made a smerk like face. He said what talk to me?. Didn’t say anything. He said what if I was giving you a massage you wouldn’t let it happen? I said. No, swapping massages was one thing but sex was another. That he knew i was looking for more than that. He said i know. I said seems to be all anyone is looking for anymore no one knows what a real relationship is. He said I do. I said me to. So what are you trying to say? I haven’t heard a word back. I messaged a few more times that nigh then yesterday. He has read it but no response. I called left a message when i got off told him i wanted to talk about Tuesday’s plans. Still nothing.

Today I have been thinking about this it how it is all the time. We talk the conversation turns into something else all of a sudden I don’t hear from him again. Then it is as if nothing was said. We make plans or start to then don’t hear from him. I was talking to bff today she like he scared of his feelings. I said yep thinking samething. She said he don’t know what to say or do scared of what is going to happen. I thought about it all evening making dinner and things. I sat down and wrote him a message and sent him. It hasn’t been read yet but it was late by the time I was able to start it then I read it change it read change until i finally just stop and sent it. It kind of long but like I told him not something i wanted to say or do on the phone or text but looks like only way its going to happen.

This is what I said……………….

What is going on with you? We talk everything is fine then the conversation comes around to something like the other night and you disappear and I don’t hear from you for days weeks. Then its as if nothing was ever said until something comes up again. Or you say lets do something and then back out or have an excuse or again I don’t hear from you.

You hint around and make comments, when you know what I am looking for and want. But you don’t say more. Then tell me to talk to you. I don’t know what you want me to say or you are looking to hear.

I honestly don’t think sex is all your looking for, but I don’t know why you won’t say what you are. Other than I think someone has gotten through your high ass thick walls as you say and your scared to admit it.

Scared to let someone in again, scared of getting close, scared of getting hurt. Scared of being the first to really say it and put it out there and of being rejected and losing or messing up a friendship.

I don’t know, I have wanted to talk to you for awhile and planned to the few times you said lets go to the beach or take off lets go out. Then you back out. This is not a conversation I wanted to have on the phone or in text. But it seems the only way it is going to be had. Unless I really hunt you down and cuff you 😜.

I am just done I don’t want to beat around the bush and hint around or whatever anymore.

So I will be the one to put it out there and risk being rejected, ignored and hurt.

I have told you, you’re my friend and I care about you. Honestly I care about you more than friends and have for awhile. I care about you the person, not what you can give me or do for me or anything like that. I want you for you, to spend time with, do things together, to work with and grow with to make eachother better and have better.

Like I said this is something I have thought long and hard about and picked apart and tried to find any and every reason not to and even figured when you stopped talking a few times feelings would change. But they haven’t. I couldn’t figure out why I fought it so much but I have because I am scared too. Someone got through my wall. Now I can keep fighting it and trying to ignore it or I can let them in. I have decided that it’s worth the risk of being hurt again and to let them in and see what happens.

There was more I wanted to say but it was already long enough so I left it at that. It was around 11 when I sent it so I figure he was sleeping. I didn’t know until the other day he is going to work an hour or two earlier than before. So between time to get ready and the drive he is getting up pretty early. He goes to bed around 9.

I figure he will get it in the morning when he gets up. I really don’t know if thats a good or bad thing. I really hoped to get it to him before he fell a sleep. But it was so late when I got started. I knew if I did not send it tonight I would probably back out. I want it out there once and for all. Now I can’t sleep and I have work in the morning and kids to get to school. It is going to be on my mind until he replies and if he don’t, I don’t know how I am going to feel.



et cetera
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