{January 1, 2021}   Hello 2021

I hope everyone had a safe and fun new years eve. I hope this year is a much better year for everyone.

All of Mondays fun just kept rolling, right into Tuesday. I wake up to an alert on my phone. I figure it is the one I get every morning and didn’t look. Something said to but I fell back to sleep. Then I wake up at 7 to my phone wringing. And to see the alert came to early to be the one I thought it was. It is Bff calling. I answer to see what she wants.

The guy she is seeing his boss lives across the street from my ex and they cut their yard sometimes. But I guess they aren’t friendly with them. Well they had to stop at the bosses house for something Monday evening. They told her that Father of The Year’s wife came over there and tried her poor me I need whatever you should give me money bullshit. Boss was already not in a good mood and told her where she could go. But when she was giving her “sob story”, she told them he had a stroke about a month before. He wasn’t able to work.

The boss said they have not been seeing the work truck there or them coming and going in it. He also said they had hardly seen him lately and when they do he is walking hunched over with his head down. From what they say pretty slow.

Him having this kind of health problems and could pass a way but no one has contacted my children to let them know. To see if they may want to see him before something happens. I think what is worse is him his self knows what kind of shape he is in and has not bothered to reach out. Tell them and try to change things between them all. Not that I want him back in the picture but you would think going through something like that would make you think about things. But I guess not when you are like him. Just like not telling them their grandma died. I told JW I bet if something happens to him or at whatever point it does, no one will in form my kids and let them know. I will find out from Bff when her man’s boss finds out. That is if they are still living there.

I have decided he has not told my kids I am not going to tell them either. He don’t feel it is important enough to and still don’t want anything to do with them. And he don’t care to know if they are alive and well and have what they need. Why should I tell them and have them upset and worried and they can’t even get updates on him. I do not think the older two will care to much if at all. But Mr.10 now will and will be upset, worry about him and want to go see him. It will trigger his anxiety I am sure. Why do I want to do that to him?

I can’t say I feel sorry for him. Karma you know what they say about her, she is and she has come full force. You know I said before I wish him dead for all that he did to me. Then I said no just crippled where he can’t do for himself would be better. Because she will not take care of him like he needs to be and all he can do is sit and think about all he has done And put me and these kids through. He knows if we were still together and things were good between us he would be taken care of right. He can just think about the bed he had and the one he made for himself.

That all maybe horrible to say but if you have followed me for a while or read old post you will see how bad he was and the things he did to me and my kids.

{April 19, 2019}   Needs To Get On His Meds

I seen Mr. Responsible the other week he was telling me how he had gain all this weight and he didn’t know why and that he don’t eat that much and things. He told me before he had gain and didn’t know why.

I thought it was odd because he is always working and things to gain how he has as fast as he has. I don’t know why the other day I was thinking about him and thought about him talking about gaining. I thought he isn’t gaining weight, he is swelling or holding water I bet. When he hugs me he feels solid or tight not like fat. I am not sure what medications he is supposed to be on but I am guessing one is to keep fluids down. Or it is his liver he needs to get checked. But I am guessing it is one of his meds he is supposed to be taking.

I haven’t talk to him since we all hung out that night. But maybe once or twice messeaging. I tried to talk to him before that when I was over there about going and getting back on them he says he don’t have time and has to work, always working. He said if he would lose the weight he would be okay. I am thinking now he needs to get on them asap. I haven’t brought it up to him yet but feel like maybe I should toss the idea out there to him and see what he says. I might see what he is doing tonight go see him after work talk to him. Just bring up how is he doing trying to lose the weight or what go from there. I probably wouldn’t have to bring it up he probably will and go from there.

{December 28, 2018}   To Late for Hospice Care

Yesterday we got back to work after having the last 4 days off. In a little bit Pop came in and started working. In a few minutes he came in and sat down. We talked about Christmas. He said they didn’t really have one no one was really into it. With all that is going on it was understandable.

He then said his wife had gotten worse the last 4 days or so really quickly. That he was going to have to call for a nurse to come in and help. He said he was going to need 24 hour care for her because he couldn’t lift her and do the things she needed by himself it took two people and his kids couldn’t be there all the time and it was a lot for them as well.

I told him that was okay and it is a lot and demanding when you are caring for someone like that. How even with 3 or 4 of us we called someone because as much as you want to do it all you just can’t. He seem like he felt bad he couldn’t do it all. Or like he needed to hear it was okay.

Then he told me that the nurse said they were going to call in hospice for her they would be out today to set it all up. I told him they have a few things that could help him in way of someone to help and sit with her depending on different things.

Today Little Bitty had a dentist appointment at 1. Being I don’t go to work until 10 and would need to leave at 12 to get her and get there I took her with me so we could leave later. We were sitting there and right after we got there Pop’s son came in and talk to us for a bit. He was waiting for the other owner so they could go out. He talk to Little Bitty and played with her and her toy a bit. Then he got a text and said they were going so he must of gotten there. In about 20 or 30 minutes the other owner came walking back in. I seen him on camera walking up to the door and said oh Pop is coming in you can meet him. Then I noticed it was the other owner but he was alone.

He came in and sat down with us. He talk to Little Bitty for a minute. Then he said they had stopped by Pop’s house and his son stayed there. He said hospice was there and she was not doing good at all and he didn’t think it would be long. He said he was waiting for one of the other fill in guys to get there to go out with him. He said needless to say no one is probably going to be here to cover for you. He said just lock up and I will open when ever I get back in. I told him I was going to drop her off and come back I thought it should only take an hour or so. He said okay just let him know when I made it back.

The fill in guy came and they left. They had already pulled out I thought about next week. I was making a list of places to start calling. I called him and ask how I should handle next week? He said go ahead as normal and we hung up.

I had to get a list of groomers together for the area I was calling because all I had was salons. And I have ran through them a lot. I had a girl call in ask about dropping some blades and shears off. It was around 11:30 because I looked and told her we would be closing for a bit in about 45 minutes. She said she was on her way. She got there around 11:50 or so I got a call as soon as she came in. It was the owner that was out on calls. He ask if I had made calls I told him a few but only had the one. He said okay because she had passed and he wasn’t sure when they would do her service or how things were going to go.

My phone is off I haven’t been able to text Pops and I don’t want to call. I figure the last thing he wants to do is talk to a bunch of people. The owner came in today to pay me, he said he didn’t think they would be back in time to. You could tell he was upset and crying. I didn’t know what to say to him, I just told him I was sorry about his mom.

Yesterday was just a blah day all around, but that’s another post.

{August 26, 2018}   Weight Loss and Why

I just want to clear something up about my weight loss. I have had so many people tell me I didn’t need to lose, I looked fine the way I was, and I don’t need to lose more. They say I shouldn’t worry about what others think, or I should be happy with myself the way I am not always trying to lose weight and worrying how I look.

First off I do not do anything because I am worried about what others think of me. Weight or other wise. Anyone who knows me should know this by now. As for being happy with my body or myself, I am completely fine with myself the way I am. I may not 100% like something but I am not sitting around worrying about it or trying to figure out how to change it. Or wanting too change it or feeling bad over it. I decided a long time  ago this is me this is how I look at any given time and it can and will change and that is okay. I am fine with that. Whoever has a problem with it to bad that is on them.

I wasn’t trying to lose weight last year when I lost 20 something pounds all of a sudden. I just started working and my habits and things changed. I have always been that way where I will just all of a sudden drop a big amount then maintain or gain again for a while. It wasn’t like I set out to lose. I have talked about wanting to for a while but never really worked at it. The reasons I wanted to was to feel better be healthier not because of the way I look or what others think of me. I am sure I have said that before when talking about my weight. I am not comfortable at this weight, I feel the effects of being this big going up and down stairs, running with the kids and dogs and see it in the swelling and pain in my legs. I want to feel better I am not worried about looking better or finding a guy. Believe it or not it is mostly guys telling me I didn’t need to lose and don’t need to lose more. I have never had negative comments from guys at any size I have been. I don’t know why because I know a lot of women say they get comments from guys about their size a lot. Thank god I have not had that experience because it probably would not of ended well. I went off on a boss over making fat jokes and comments about another girl who worked with us. He do it to her face, I went off one day I was so over hearing it he wouldn’t let up.

I think it comes down to confidences, appearance, and how you carry yourself. Guys are attracted to women who appear to be confident and carry theirselves that way. That seems to be one of the first things they notice. Even if you are a little “bigger” or not super skinny it makes you more attractive.

Who knows I could be way off base but just from my experience and watching interactions when I am out and things. It is what I find to be true.

But there you have it I am losing weight for me, so I feel better not for any other reason. As much as I knew I needed to lose more after I lost all that last year I did not actively try or gobout of my way to. I just had another change in life situations and ended up losing another big amount as a part of it. Yes I do need to lose more to get to where I need to be and wanted to try and go ahead and lose it too. But I haven’t stuck with it, I have gained a little back but I am okay with that. I know I will go back down again and figure it is better to let my body maintain again for a bit before I decide to try again. I seem to do better if I maintain a bit after a big loss. And right now I am not into putting in the effort to lose more when it isn’t something that has to be done right now.

{June 16, 2018}   Cancer Sucks

About the time I got home from working on the truck and crawled into bed my phone started dinging. I thought it was going to be Mr. To Broken. It wasn’t it was Starfish. I not heard from him in a few days i ask why he was quiet if something was wrong earlier or night before.

He said he was he been working and taking care of stuff at home. I told him i talked to him about my truck and was going to come get him the other day, but he never got a hold of me. He said it was okay. I told him I finally got my truck fixed I just came in from getting it done. We talked about that a little.

Then he told me he had a lot coming up to deal with and take care of. He said his moms husband needs surgery for cancer but they can not do it because he won’t come out of it. Said the doctor said he wants to see him back in 6 months if he makes it.

I ask how his mom was because he had said hers came back. He said no he misunderstood it was his that did not hers.

I don’t what to say. I just said sorry to hear. I know they aren’t close he isn’t crazy about him. But its still hard watch your mom deal with it go through it. She lost his dad in 14 or 16. Just before or after I lost my dad. I remember us talking about it before.

I ask if they put him on hospice or anything he said no. I don’t know health wise how he is doing. I know he is getting around and doing things still. So he may be okay for now, but who knows for how long.

Just pray for him that he isn’t in pain and don’t suffer. Pray for his mom who is going through this with him and dealing with all that comes with that. Pray for him why he helps them both through this. That he is able to stay strong and handle it. That he reaches out for help and to talk if he needs to instead of turning to other things. I told him if he needs to talk or needs anythung i am here.

{January 8, 2017}   Not Sure so Posting Here

I am not sure if my pages show up in the reader if I post new ones or not so I am posting the link here. I finished my page with my goals for 2017. I like to make it a page so that I can can find it easily and look back to it often to keep track of progress and be reminded of them.

Here is the link Goals For

{November 7, 2012}   My Movember Blog To Show Support


Showing off my mustache to support  me and my sister a few years ago for Halloween.

et cetera
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