{November 9, 2018}   A Long Sad Day

No one was there when I got to work this morning so I opened and turned everything on and got to work. In a little bit the owners dad came it. We will call him Pop. So when I talk about pop that’s who it is.

He got right to work then came talked to me some. We had a customer and he went after they left and found something to keep himself busy. In a little bit he came sat back down. We talked some he was talking about his wife. He said he is 74 she is 68. He said I am supposed to go first why I married younger. She isn’t supposed to have all these problems.

In a little bit he said he was going to go so he could go see her. If a big order came in call him. If it was just small stuff he would get it later. I told him I would tell them all they could pick it up tomorrow.

It is so sad you can tell he is so worried and lost. He said I heard the C word I don’t remember anything else that was said hardly. He said she has had it so ruff the last few weeks.

I feel so bad he will come sit he just sits don’t say a lot. You can tell it is consuming him he feels so bad. I feel so bad for him. Its so very sad. Makes me want to cry. Reminds me of my grandpa when my grandma was so sick and then passed. They were 75 it wss so very hard on him. You can tell he really cares and they are close. He keeps going between the shop and the hospital. I told him we are good just spend time with her but I think its hard for her being there seeing her but then he feels bad not being being there.

It has been hard on me the last few days with all this going on thinking about my dad, grandpa and other family member’s.

I love my job its perfect in just about every way. It is what I have wanted for a long time. But this is not how or why I wanted to end up in this job and would rather not have it. But if it has to be……

I am just trying to figure out why I have been brought into this situation. What am I supposed to do, see, or get out of it or do for them or what. Its brought up a lot from my past that is hard for me. I have been trying to push it down and stuff it but it has been hard. I cried a little today between all that I am dealing with and seeing him. He was in the shop I don’t think he seen me. I feel I should be doing something or saying something. I don’t know what. I feel helpless. We sat and talked about all kinds of stuff Wednesday before they called and said they found the tumor on the brain and he left. I felt I needed to be working but he come in and sat and we started talking. Today about 4 I said something he ask what days i was booking for how many more I needed. I said next Thursday i needed 2 and to book fri and saturday. He said take a break relaxe you been busy. We just kind of sat there playing on our phones talking a little. He got a call i cashed the draw out dropped the money. I locked up turned everything off went back in the office. It was about 5/10 til 5. He was on the phone with his wife. I was just going to tell him everything was locked up I would see him tomorrow. He told her he would be there in a bit the new girl was pushing him out and going home and laughed. He hung up we were walking out. He said I sure hope she is going to be okay. I said she will. He went to his car. He was headed back to her when I passed him going to work. It is just so sad she is going through this and him too.

et cetera
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