Job On My Mind Still

I have been thinking about that job a lot the last few days. I had decided it had been filled and probably wasn’t a good idea right now. But then I seen it listed again yesterday or over the weekend and they still have all shifts open. So I could probably walk into the 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift with no problem.

I was thinking today how much I am missing out with the kids even if it is just a few hours after school doing baths and bed. I was thinking how nice it would be to have that break in the middle of the day with them.

But then I think about most likely giving up my weekends, holidays and things. I just don’t know.

But it was nice seeing the kids last week when I was off and just playing and relaxing with them. Today when I droppped them off at school and said I will see you tomorrow. I just had this sick feeling.

Its so hard to know what to do. What is right or wrong.

I keep thinking like I was before apply see what they offer. But then if they make an offer and I don’t think it is going to work how do I decline and not burn a bridge in case I want to go there later? If I take it how do I tell the guys what is going on and that I am leaving?

Then I keep thinking maybe it’s a sign and I need to go for it. Stop being scared and just make the leap.

Keep it to Yourself

Today Pop’s came in at my day job and did somethings I needed done. He took a break and came in and talked for a bit.

He asked if I had turned in my job application yet?

I told him no I was thinking about waiting until at least the first of the year before I turned it in.

He told me to keep that to myself.

I said what?

He said don’t tell the guys you aren’t or you may not.

I told him I wasn’t sure, that I was pretty set on waiting and I was. But then Little Bitty said something this morning and now I and second guessing myself again.

He said well I said something to the guys about you applying.

I thought oh great this isn’t good.

He said they are working on something for you. He said just wait don’t do anything and see what they offer you.

I thought it was a little odd when he was in there working I went and was talking to him. He askes me if the guys were out? I told him one was.

He asked if his son was or had been in? I said no he wasn’t and I hadn’t seen him much lately. He said oh not even Friday?

I said I seen him Friday for a minute he had a busy day he ran in paid me and went out for the day. He seemed surprised or like he was waiting on me to tell him some thing I felt like. But didn’t know what. I think maybe that was it he thought they would of made an offer then. Or told me what they were thinking.

I was thinking I would wait because of the holidays and things. You know how it is the new guy gets the crap days holiday and all that. I don’t want to be working the holidays right now. I want to school I am not sure I can work that job and my night job and do that.

But then Little Bitty said this morning. I wish you were here to pick us up at school and see us after school. That just killed me. I miss them so much and wish I could be there more. But I really can’t do it without the extra money two jobs gives me.

Now I am thinking about going ahead and applying and seeing what happen again. I am also worried about having to work six or seven days a week again since this other place is 7 days a week. Ugh mom life and figuring out that balance and just the right thing to do.

A Job Opening

I have been sitting on an application that is all filled out and ready to be turned in. I picked this application up Monday filled it all out and typed up a letter to go with it. I was already to turn it in Tuesday but never did. I keep second guessing myself and wondering if it is the right thing to do. I keep weighing the pros and cons of it all. One minute I think turn it in check it out if you get called, it don’t mean you have to take it. See what they are offering and decide from there. Another part says don’t turn it in if your not going to take it so you can apply there later. But I really want to see if I have the chance at it and what they have to offer if they offer it so I can decide. But I also know if they call and offer I am going to want to just jump and take it.

The new job is at a youth shelter for run a ways and other teens. They have a school and I am not sure what all there anymore as they have made changes over the last few years. I would be a direct care giver for the teens in the shelter. They say they have all shifts open, 6am-2pm, 2pm- 10pm and 10pm to 7am. They have full and part time open right now as well. I would apply for the 6 am to 2 pm shift so that I can keep my evening job because I would still need two jobs to make it. That would give me full time as well.

This mew job would be great because it would give me between 2-4:30/5 to pick up my little ones from school get their homework done, make them dinner and have that time with them each day. It would give me that break in between my night job and day job. I wouldn’t be doing 12 to 14 hours straight. It is $1 more an hour than my day job now. I am hoping with my schooling that I would get a little more than a $1 more. It would give me hands on experience and I would get training as well. It goes along with Social work that I have been studying in school. I want to work with teens, teen parents, and addiction when I finish with school. I am sure there is room with advancement there as well as I move through school and get more certificates and my degree.

But with this new position comes weekends and holidays, not being able to come and go as I need to. I would miss the kids awards at school and other school functions, field trips, and that kind of thing. I am not sure of all this but knowing it is a 24/7 shelter, you are working with kids who need taken care of, and that there are other people who you are working with. Unlike my day job now, it is just me and the owners, I just let them know I am going to be late, taking off or not coming in at all. That I have this or that at the school. We either open late, close or close early if someone can’t be here. Most the time Pops or one of the guys can be here or most the time. I can’t take the kids with me to work like I can here if I need to. I can’t say hey we are closing for this or that holiday. We again have kids there that need taken care of we have to be there. There is a lot of other employee’s to worry about and work around as well as myself.

I think about all that and I can’t see leaving here. But here I am making $1 less an hour. I am 1099 over there they would take out taxes I wouldn’t have to worry about all that. This is in the field I want to get into, I am trying to go back to school once I get my tax money next year since I have to pay out of pocket. But then i am going to be busy there all the time during the day where as where I am now I have time I could work on my school work and they wouldn’t care. Other than that and some at my night job I really wouldn’t’ have time to work on it. So if I can’t work on it during the day some I don’t know when I would. I know that the other job has a high turn over rate, because it isn’t great pay, you do have the chance of working weekends holidays and you are dealing with delinquent teens. I don’t know how they are as far as to work for or anything like that. I may look on line see what kind of things are being said. Hadn’t thought of that.

I keep thinking am I just making excuses? Why not jump and take it? This is a good chance. I tell myself maybe just wait and apply in a few months. I wonder why they have so many openings right now? Most the time they have one or two here and there. Not every shift full and part time.

I think my biggest thing is if something happens where will I end up? I won’t have this job to come back to because it will be filled. No one is going to give this job up and who is to say they would take me back if it was open or they didn’t like the person who was here? I have worked at a lot of places twice and been called back to some even after that. But it is bigger places they have more employees and things. I think they would probably take me back if I gave them notice which I would and they didn’t have someone. But that isn’t’ likely to happen. I have thought about asking for a raise and and some other things and if I get it then just staying here. The raise would give me the more an hour plus take into consideration that I am 1099 and wouldn’t be over there. I was thinking about asking to go to salary not hourly so that I would be paid no mater what. I took that into consideration when considering the 1099 factor too. Trying to find a fair balance for me and them. Also something do able for them and things because we are a small place. That is one reason I feel I should see what they are offering over at the other job as well before I figure out what to do if they will give me more since I have my schooling and things. I even thought they may have another opening other than direct care giver that I could do since I do have training, schooling and going to be in school.

So many things to consider and figure out and decide. I keep thinking if I don’t turn it in they are going to have them filled by the time I do. But then again I figure if they are then it wasn’t meant to be and that if it is meant to be I will get called whenever I turn it in.

If I didn’t like my job here and didn’t have the leeway that I do I would have my application in already. If it was enough pay that I only had to work one job I would be as well too.

So many things to to consider figure out so I can make a decision. I guess I have to get off here close up and get to my night job. If I leave much later I won’t be able to get out of the parking lot or over the bridge for 10 or 15 minutes. It’s funny how a few minutes make such a difference in traffic.

Kind Of Good News

So today at work one of the owners came in and was talking to me and Pops. He said his son is going to start working here with us. Pops is wanting more time off he is having a hard time standing for long periods of time anymore. Plus he just don’t feel like coming in sometimes. He is 75 after all and just took this on as part time to have a little extra money to go out and help the guys out. But we have days that we are slammed and he is here all day instead of an hour or two or half the day. Then some of the work he has to stand the whole time and he just can’t anymore and it takes him longer to do he work because he has to take breaks.

But we are not to a point that we needs someone all day everyday or even to say we can hire someone a few hours everyday. We stay steady most the time but then have days where we have no one or a couple things. Right now I think the shop side breaks even or just under breaking even.

Me and Pops were talking about it the other day and we really can’t hire someone and tell them you might get 5 to 10 hours a week and we don’t have set hours to give you we just want to call you when we need you. No one needing a job can really live on that and it really isn’t worth it to drive over here for. I said I would not mind learning some of it to help give him a break.

The boss said today his son was going to start coming in after school and working a few hours to help take the stress off Pops. He is also trained to go out on the bus with the guys to help there if there isn’t school or a weekend and they have something.

So he will come after school if we have things to be done and get it all ready for the people to pick up the next day. Pops can come in during the day if I have things that needs done for the day or he can’t get it all done or something. But this should give him a much needed break. It works out great for what we were talking about since he isn’t needing the money to live on and all that it is just gas money or what for him and he still lives at home. He just a kid.

It really don’t change much for our customers other than maybe instead of being able to get it back the same day they will have to wait until the next business day. Now I have a rule if they get it in before 1 or 2pm they can have it back after 3 that day. This way I will just start telling people unless they set it up ahead of time with me it is next day. Because we have some people that come 20+ miles to get their things done and would like to wait for it or get it back as soon as we can get it done. We can still do that if they let me know before hand they are coming I can set it up that Pops will be here to do their stuff.

We are always changing but not changing at the same time with that part of things. But people don’t mind because most are shocked they can get it back after three the next day much less the same. They expect to wait a few days to get it back anyway. So I just go by what is going on that day. Like if Pops is busy even if it is only 11 or 12 I will start telling them the next day because we are busy and have work to get out by three already we had to start bumping things until tomorrow. I have only had one or two people complain and they were just that type of person they have something to say about everything you can tell. But being the only place in the county that does the work we do people have to understand that sometimes we get busy. We do everything we can to get it back as quick as we can but that is not always possible and we are getting back quicker still than what we are told we have to get it back. When I started I was told I could tell them anywhere from 2 to 3 days up to a week to get things back depending what it was but at the least tell them 2 days for everything. Once I got in here and seen how busy we are and how long it takes to do things I was able to get it to after 3 if in by x time that day or after 3 the next day if after that time. Most the time really the after 3 the next day could be picked up in the morning after we open a lot of times. He will get them done in the evening before we close. But this way he can have time to get to them if we are busy and he isn’t having to stand there until he can hardly move to finish them after the days work is done. He comes in around 11:30 but then if he has doctors or something not until after lunch. Plus if I am running late or have to come in late for something there isn’t people sitting here waiting to get their things back first thing in the morning. We have some flexibility if we need it or something unforeseen happens and we have to take off to take care of it. We can get someone to come in and cover or time to get here. We don’t have a lot of people coming in to drop off in the morning if we miss someone they understand things happen. But I hate to give someone a set time to come back and not have something ready or not be here and I don’t want a rush of people when I am trying to open. because I find I tell them after 3 and they will come at 12 or 1 or 2 and say I need to get my stuff or I know you said but I just wanted to see if it was ready. So if I tell them 12 they will be here waiting on me or trying to get in why I am trying to open or return calls and things in the morning and a lot of our drop offs are in the morning. This way I don’t have a lobby full of people.

The owners don’t care they told me do things however you feel works best for you or the shop or however they need to be done. We just own it your the boss take care of things. It works nicely.

Slowly Making My Way Into The Weekend

I think today maybe one of the slowest I have ever had in my life. Not that anything has happened or I am looking foward to something coming up to cause it to seem that way. It’s just been a very slow day. In two days at my day job I have had 3 customers maybe. Plus called my places. Yesterday I was done with all my work with in a half hour or hour. The rest of the day I sat there. Watched netflix and did things on the computer. Sat on the phone an hour on hold that’s about it.

I am at my night job it has been normal day to day stuff. Took me a bit to finish my work here but now I am done and waiting for 9 so I can hopefully clock out and go somewhere. I have 7 minutes. Unless I end up staying later for some reason. I am so tired right now I can hardly hold my eyes open from doing stuff on the computer then reading and doing this on my phone.

I would love to go out have a couple drinks just relax for a bit but everyone seems busy or already doing something.

Come Home Please

I have this pad I picked up from my night job I used to take notes and keep up with all I needed to learn. Now I use it in the evenings to take notes when drivers call in or someone tells me things to watch for take care of or what for the night. Just my catch all. When I am not at work it floats around in my car since I do not have a desk at work and use someone else.

Little Bitty will find something to write with and draw pictures in it when we are riding around. Of course she did this past weekend as well. I had just been using my top sheet and hadn’t needed to flip through it until last night. This is her picture and note she wrote me. It says……

Hi mommy I need to talk ok. I will miss you at work. Home please come 😭.

I was already in a depressed mood I almost cried. When I got home I told her I had found it we talked. Then we got in my bed snuggled up together and watched The Worst Witch until we were falling a sleep. Then we cuddled up and slept.

I hate working like this and was trying to figure out how to cut back some way. Then I went to the ssi office this morning to get a letter from them. They informed me they will be cutting my son’s check every month. They will take so much a mo th away biased on what ex is supposed to pay in child support. Even though he is not paying. Then I have to go in every three months and report that he isn’t making payments or that he did and it was less than he was supposed to. Then they will send me back pay for the 3 months. Its a mess they have never done this in the past I told them he wasn’t paying that was that. When he did I told them. Now they changed it all up. So now that is more I have to come up with every month to keep things paid. I use to make sure I had $100 the first to put with it to pay rent that way it was taken care of. Now I am going to need $200+ each month to go with it. Then they are going to cut it some because I am working two jobs and I don’t even know how much that is going to be. I think if I figured it right it is another $100+ they will cut it. So half my rent money just went out the window.

Now there is no way to cut hours I need to max them out get all I can. When school starts when will I ever see them during the week. Back to dropping them off in the morning and weekends. I feel like shit. Mom of the year passing me up again.

Look at my baby, isn’t she writhing and spelling good to just be starting 1st grade next week?

Good Friday

As you all know this Friday coming up is Good Friday, being that it is the Friday before Easter. I did not realise this until Sunday, I seen someone on line say something about the kids not having school. I am thinking about taking the day off and spending it with the kids. I will still have to work that evening for a few hours but that is it. I thankfully only have one appointment on the books for that day so I will have to call and change her to another day. One of the guys is on vacation that day. I said something to the other today about it. He said whatever you want to do you are the boss. If you don’t want to come in and flip that sign to open I am not going to argue with you. I really don’t want to miss the pay but I really want to take the day off with the kids. If I didn’t have the kids I would work it like any other day it don’t matter to me. If I didn’t have them I could probably afford to take it off. But seeing as I have them I really need the money but I really want to spend time with them too. They love it when I am off on days they don’t have school. I will probably just suck it up and figure out how to make it all work.

I am thinking we will get up like normal as if we are going to school and work. But instead go to breakfast and the beach. Come home around 3. That way I can get a shower and ready for work and leave by 4. They can shower have dinner and by that point be getting into bed after being out all day. Depending on what is going on and how I feel from there I may or may not go out for a little bit after that. I am hoping to talk to my friend and be able to figure things out and see him.

I just wish I could take the day off and not have to worry about money and being able to do what I want to do with them and if i can pay everything and do Easter at that point.

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