Single___Parent___Life











{September 5, 2019}   Only a Rain Storm

Hurricane Dorian did nothing but bring some wind and rain. Nothing more than a normal Florida rain storm we typically get this tine of year really.

I can not believe it. I am grateful we didn’t get slammed by a cat 5 or something like that and feel horrible for the people in the islands. I know we could be going through what they are and I could be out a lot nore than money. But right now I am out like two weeks pay.

I don’t think I can go camping now for Mr. 8’s birthday until a week or two later or next month. I have been figuring and figuring money and moving bills around trying to make it work. I just don’t see how. I feel bad I really want to take him and I really wanted to go with Mr. Responsible and his son. Us all and Bff would of had a blast.

I need to go over my tent see if it is usable, get a canopy, food, gas, cake and gifts, part of the money for the site. I don’t see it happening next weekend.

I may see if he still wants to go once I get money settled and get it all planed out again. I hope he dont get upset he said he understands.

I have Mr. 13’s birthday coming up 2 weeks after Mr. 8’s I have to do something for. I don’t know what he wants yet, I have to ask him. He was telling me something the other day Mom of The Year here can’t remember what it was. I think he wants to go to the movie but not sure.

I have to pat on bills they are hitting at once. The one I can normally move the due date because the date comes at a really bad time anyway. But for some reason I haven’t been able to move it. I figured things out I think if I don’t do the trip I can still do something and get everything taken care of. I can get the gifts from the kids and cake with family. Give him a date with the camping trip or tell him sit down with me help me pick somewhere to go. He will like that. That will cost me a lot less and then that part will be out of the way as well. Since the gifts from the kids will be done. That is a nice chunk of money in its self. I will do a cake when we go camping if BFF and other go. They will give him a little gift and things too.

I don’t think BFF is in the mood to go camp and things right now either after being away so long for the storm and things. I am tired wore out and just want to get back to normal and that wont be until next week and even then wont will missing work and more money to go camping, being away from home and all that. It be another week before I get back to any kind of normal. I don’t know if mentally I can handle that right now.

I feel bad but I never told him we would go camping for sure on his bday. Just that we would go.



It is 10:40 a.m and I just want to scream fuck the storm lets get on with life as normal. Whatever happens happens. It was supposed to of been here and gone by now we should be well on our way in cleaning up and heading back to work. We are still waiting on it. It is still 195 miles below where we are and they have no idea where it is going to go. They keep saying hug or skirt the coast but they do not know how close. Last night they were saying 30 to 40 miles off the coast I was okay with that. Today the eye is all but touching us. Then they say we do not know how far off it will be and by the way we don’t know if or where it may come on shore at it is likely.

Some of the charts bring it in down south straight up the middle just about. Others show it coming in right below us or right above us. Still on us we would still be in some of the worse of it. Most are showing it with the eye running up and around the coast just on land or just off but to close.

We will have a lot of damage if it follows these paths. Tons of homes and business lost, flooding like we haven’t seen and who knows if we will have power for how long we will be out. I don’t think our old bridges to the island and then to the beaches will survive. Then what do we do?

Most hit and run I guess you could say. You feel it for some hours and it’s gone. This one could crawl over us for 2 days they are saying. That is bad really bad and makes the damage worse. Places that may have withstood a fast blow over may not be able to withstand this thing sitting on it beating and beating on it and all the extra water and pressure from it.

Everything is closing with no idea of when they will open again. Others are trying to hold out and get as many trucks as they can in so people can get things they need. Because once they close no one knows when or what will be able to open or how long it will take to get trucks into us so they have things we need.

People think you get a little rain, wind some damage you go back to normal when it is over. It really is not like that. Like now everyone’s lives have come to a stop or their day to day has drastically changed dealing with this. Now all we can do is sit and wait days for it to hit and then wait days for it to pass so we spend days more with no power sometimes no water and just wonder when life will go back to normal. People do not know how stressful going through something like this really is.

I am in a weird place right now. I am in that place where I know I need to do things and get ready but I can’t force myself up and get them done. I know this is bad but at the same time the not knowing not having any idea and being in limbo makes it harder to want to do anything. Honestly I just want to sleep. Everything is bothering me with the kids wanting to do things and bored. I just want to be left a lone. I feel horrible for it. I am very irritated when I am awake.

I just want life back to normal or at least this thing to hit us so we can start working toward normal again.

I think another update should of just come or be coming. I guess I should go check it and see what they are saying. I need to finish getting my carport cleaned off because I only half done it last night. We are getting a little bit of wind and rain off and on now. Nothing major but it is going to get worse through out the day and tomorrow they say.



et cetera
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