{January 27, 2020}   Tooth Infection

I have not been around much the last week or two because I ended up causing my mouth to get extremely infected. I had a sore spot in the back of my mouth and I thought it was because I had a nerve exposed. I went and bought some of that temporary filling stuff and put where the problem was. I figured that if the nerve isn’t exposed it would stop hurting. I woke up the next day with one side of my mouth swelled up, hurting horribly and infected. I went to go to the doctor and they were not open. They were supposed to be open on Saturday but no one was there anywhere. I started to hold out until Monday but decided not to. I went to the er, to get something for infection. Once I was there they said something about the three day weekend. That is why the doctors weren’t open most likely and would be closed Monday too. Glade I went when I did.

The doctor came in and we figured out that I probably had an abscess and it was draining and I blocked it from draining. It was horrible. They gave me super strong medication and was really worried about it. Said if anything changed to come back take the medications every 4 hours. I did that for days and was so sick from them I stopped taking them. They swelling went down the pain was gone. But then in a couple days it started hurting again. Now it is a mess again and I am trying to get the infection out again.

This morning it was so bad I got a needle and lighter and tried popping the big spot in the roof of my mouth. It was tight and sore that I couldn’t even feel the needle touching it. I stuck it a few times but it didn’t work. I was just about to give up and then decided to give it one last try. All of a sudden I felt it let go and it felt so much better. I am taking the medication and washing my mouth out with mouthwash now to hopefully get the infection under control. I feel a lot better but feel a spot coming up on the outside of my gums in the back. I have never had my mouth this bad before. I can’t stand it. The acid flux has messed my teeth up so bad, I am so embarrassed. I just want to get them all pulled and get dentures but I don’t have the money right now. I would do anything to get this pain and swelling to go away at the moment.

It feels like the spot I made this morning isn’t draining anymore the one on the outside of my gums feels harder and sore. I am at work just tried to pop it again but it didn’t seem to work to well. All I am getting from the one inside my mouth is blood. Not much of that. The other is hard to see and get to I don’t think I did anything to it. The guy here at work asked if I was getting sick. I told him no I have this infection I am trying to get rid of and that I was trying to pop it. He said is it making throw up? I said no just trying to drain it get rid of it. Hope that it will get better soon or I may have to miss work go to get it checked again. I am not going anywhere until I run out of medication. Then I have to because I can’t keep this like it is. I have to get rid of the infection because it is really bad for the heart to have infection in your mouth.

This is the last thing I want to be dealing with right now with all that I have to worry about and get taken care of. I should of just taken the medication like they said but I took it an extra day after I felt better and figured I would be okay it was gone. Most the time I take a few big doses and then I am fine. I have the rest if I need it later. I guess even with this being stronger I can’t do it that way or the infection is stronger than I am use to dealing with. I think that is probably it the infection is worse than I am use to dealing with really that is kind of scary. I have even thought about picking this filling stuff I put in there out to try and get it to drain and go away but I am scared of the pain it may cause and if I can’t get rid of that pain. I think regardless I am going to go Saturday and see if they can send me to the dentist and see if they can get something done. Right now it is my back teeth bothering me so if they can pull them and get this to go away I will let them. I just don’t want my front ones pulled before I can do something about getting some.

But with that I have not been on much I have not felt like doing anything and had to work this whole time dealing with this. I wanted to write the other day and it took me days to get that one post written and posted. I would just about go back to the er if I knew they could do something for me but I know most they can’t because they need pulled. I have taken so much for pain the last couple weeks it is scary. More than I have in years I am sure. I know it isn’t good but I can’t function without it at this point the pain gets so bad just out of no where. I will be fine all day or all night, hours at a time and then all of a sudden it is so bad I am in tears. I hope that something gives soon. I am taking the medication around the clock until it is done no matter how sick it makes me.

{November 14, 2016}   OCD Germaphobe

Tonight my friend sent me a message and ask if I would take her and her boyfriend up to the hospital so he could get his foot looked at. I told her yes to in a little bit because Father of the Year was on his way back he could sit with the kids. When he got here I ran them up there and dropped them off.

He is diabetic and had gotten a sore on his foot. It’s been there for a while, he took medication he had for it and it didn’t get better. She has been telling him he needs to go and I have told him I would take him but he hasn’t went. Now it has gotten infected and rather large. He got there and they kept him. They are talking about maybe having to take his foot off.

Father of the Year didn’t go home in time to work on the truck and called asking if he could come over and see the kids some more. I let him and they had dinner and things. I figured it would let me get school done since I had been dealing with sick kids all week. I sent the older kids to bed at 8 and finally got them there around 930 after keeping after them because he was here. My Little Bitty stayed up wanted story read, he did that, then she wanted another one, to watch tv and other stuff. I kept telling her to go to bed and him to go home. He sat here with her until midnight. Then talking about how late it was he had to be up by 430 to go to work. This is a new company still a temp company and a few days of work then he has to see if they have anything after that.

I had told my friend if she wanted to go home and he was here I would pick her up. She hadn’t asked and I hadn’t said anything about it and was going to let him go home. I wanted him to go because she could stay there with him if she had too. He was here when I got done with my work and was talking about how late it was so I said I was going to go give her a ride home just go to sleep on the couch.

I don’t even get to the hospital and my mom is calling me wanting to know why he is here and staying when I make him leave any other time and going on about how she has this final to go take in the morning and now she can’t sleep because of stuff that has been going on around there and she don’t feel safe. I told her it wasn’t because of me the only reason I left was because he had no plan of going home. She wanted me to call her when I got home but I didn’t I was trying to finish school stuff and was going to go to bed. She had said she was going to change it for a different time. I told her to make it for about 1 if she wanted it be time to do it and get her home so that I could pick the kids up. When I got home she text him and told him to come home so she could sleep. I told him to tell her to just text me when she was going for the test and that i was trying to hurry get this done and go to bed.

Well it wasn’t no time she was calling me back two or three times because I didn’t answer and wanted to know why I hadn’t called her I was supposed to. Then something was brought up about taking them to the hospital and things. I told her he had this infected place on his foot they kept him said he may lose his foot because he didn’t come in sooner. Then she was all freaked out and talking about them being in my truck and getting that all in my truck. I told her he had shoes on wasn’t like he was in there with it all open rubbing it all over everything. He was probably messing with it before he put his shoes on and people don’t wash their hands like they should and even if they do it don’t kill everything and how she has to put this chemo stuff on her face and can’t get any kind of infection. She wanted to know where he rode and she bet in the front on and on. I told her yes he rode in the front. Then it was why is he riding in the front with you instead of her? Why does it matter like she trying to make something out of that or something. I told her because he is like 300 lbs or more and it was easier for him to get in and out of the front. She just kept going on and on about the germs and her catching something. I finally told her I had to go so I could finish this work and go to bed.

I text my friend and told her what time I had to take mom for her test and when I would be free to give her a ride back up there and things. I told her that was if she even went for her test tomorrow or not and what was going on.

I bet it wasn’t even 5 minutes she was calling me back and telling me that she guess Father of the Year was going to have to miss this job and take her to her test in the morning and to her test I was supposed to take her to on Tuesday. I just said ok. Then she said how the kids weren’t going t be able to come over there for months now because of this. How she was hoping that when she was done with school next month they could come over there why they were out of school and things. I just said ok. She is like you understand why and how bad this is and important this is that I don’t catch anything don’t you. I just said yeah and let it go. Then she was telling me how I needed to go wash my hands really good, not in the kitchen, wash my keys, get a pan of bleach water and bleach my truck down really good, bleach my house down and all this. I just said ok I got to go I am still trying to get this school done and go to bed before it gets to much later. She just said ok and bye.

I can not believe how germophobe she really is. She was never this bad until the last few years. She has always had little things but nothing that made no one want to be there or around her. I know some of it is stress and things but it isn’t all stress. She will say she knows this or that isn’t right at times but she can’t help it and if the stress wasn’t so bad or this wasn’t this way she would be better or wouldn’t be like this. The bottom line is she needs to go somewhere talk to someone and get treated. I don’t think she is going to get better without some kind of help from medication. But she don’t want to go get any so she is going to stay this way. Like I have said from the start it is up to her if she does or she doesn’t, but it is also up to me if I am going to go there and deal with her and to what extent. I am also not going to change what I do, how I do things, who I help or how I help them because of the way she is. I can not live my life worried about germs and all the other things that she is worried about like she does. I will go insane and cause my kids to as well.

I knew I had to take her this morning to her test and Tuesday, but I didn’t feel that it was a big deal. Like I said it wasn’t like it was something that was being spread all over the truck or even out and open while he was in the truck. I honestly never thought about it being a problem and do not feel that it is now. I feel she is over reacting very much so.

I think that her having him take off to take her knowing that he probably will not get work from this place again if he does is really messed up but I didn’t say anything. Like I told him before when he said he didn’t know if he would get more he better go to day labor or where ever he can get money. It don’t matter what it pays at this point as long as it is paying. I got to get this stuff sold and i should be good for a month or so. I will figure out from there what to do.

{March 9, 2016}   Waste of Time

I went to the doctor Monday and it was a waste of time, as soon as he seen that I had teeth that needed to be pulled he brushed it all off as an infection. I told him that wasn’t it at all, that I had no infection the hospital did bloodwork that didn’t show infection that is why they did the ct. There was no infection they wanted to find out what was in there once and for all. He acted like I was lying abut how bad it was swollen up and everything. The nurse finally got the report and he read it. Then he says oh you had a 3 cm mass in there. I said yes I know it has went down but it is still there and I have this place along my jaw that has come up. He says he don’t think that the right side is that much different than the left and don’t see anything to be worried about. Even though it has been this way since December and the doctors all say it needs to come out if it stays that way more than 2 weeks. Never mind the size it got compared to most peoples. I kept asking him then why this or that he finally just said well we can do the CT over and see what it looks like compared to the last one and go from there. So I still have this place under my neck and on my jaw and I am losing my coverage to get anything done in a few weeks. I waited to see him because I thought he was a good doctor but I am not feeling that way now. Anyone who knows anything knows that if had an infection that bad in my body for over a month my blood work would show infection. Plus if it was that bad I think I would have been physically sick in other ways not just swollen and in pain. I also told him that they looked at my teeth and pushed around on them and that there was no pain or sign of infection. He said well your just not feeling it because they are dead teeth. I know that is not true either because they will hurt once in a while if I get something hot or cold on them or stuck in them. If it was dead and the nerve was dead like he is saying I wouldn’t feel any of it they would be turning not white.

I guess I will go get the CT scan just to see what it says and then go back to my doctor and see what he thinks. I have to go back to my doctor anyway to get something done for the thyroid and see what they think about it. But doctors like this one I seen Monday is a big reason I don’t waste my time going they say everything is fine and do nothing. Or blow it off and wait and see what happens instead of doing something about things. You take time out of your day and sit in there office and wait forever on them why they do whatever like you have all the time in the world to wait for them. I don’t have all day to wait on them for them to do nothing for me and have to start over or just forget it.

et cetera
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