Well the lady finally showed up to look at the house. She was pretty nice. She asked about a few things if there been repaired I told her no that it was that way when I moved in. I showed her where they did fix the roof and where the paint was coming off the wall in my bathroom. It looks like a few different kinds of paint were used and some were not wall paint. So now it is peeling. I told her I have told them before as with everything they do nothing.

I think it went well I guess I will know this week.

I did some picking up and cleaning finally last night and been working on it today. My room took way longer than it should of but the kids all have just dumped and piled their stuff in there. For what reason I don’t know and keep tossing it out and making them get it but then I find more stuck here and there.

I think ever paper the little kids have done for school in the last year or .ore was hidden in there like easter eggs to be found. It has been the catch all for everything no matter how much I try to stop it. When I am gone so many hours a week and get in so late by the time I get home I am ready to just passout.

I am mostly worried about the wholes Father of the Year put in the walls and the place needing painted. The wholes aren’t that big and its flat paint that has been here 5 years. You wipe it and it comes off. I want to paint but haven’t had the money to. In a few weeks I should have the money to paint. Hopefully she see’s the house is lived in we I have kids and you have to wipe the walls. I can’t help it they put cheap paint on the walls it came off. That the few holes were done by someone who is no longer here.

I can’t stress over it i can’t do anything I have done what I can. I work my ass off pay the rent and plan to fix it. Its more than they have done since I came here. I have to pay for every little thing that needs any kind of repair even when it isn’t anything we done to break it. I can’t get caught up or make other repairs.

I was talking to Mr. Responsible about it last night. He said……….Girl….we been messing around for a year….all you had to do was say , “Hey come spend the weekend at my house and please help me fix this shit , I will make it up to you “……Lol

I said I don’t know I just been trying to get by and survive. I may take you up on it when I get things settled.

I have and I have stop asking people for help because I never get it when I do. I get promises of help that never comes or ignored. Or laughed at or looked at like I shouldn’t be asking. I just stopped asking.

I am just sitting here waiting 9n the lady to come now get this over with. I am probably worrying about it for nothing. It isn’t even the fact I am worried about what the out come is going to be. I just hate people in my space that I do not know and dealing with people like this.

{April 6, 2019}   So Much To Do

It is after 11 am and I am still laying in my bed. I should of gotten up a long time ago. They are coming to look at the house tomorrow and I have to clean and get ready.

I have to clean the fans and blinds. It gets so dusty in my house so fast. The dust gets thick in no time. Even on my walls. I have never lived somewhere dust builds up on the walls and the ruff. It is like a every few weeks/monthly thing that needs done. Fans too even when you use them. I hate it and it has been let go for a bit. Now I have 24 hours to get it all done. Fans in all the rooms and a ton of windows and blinds. I just want to pull it all down and buy new but they will need done in a few weeks.

I just have to get it done and stay on top of it. I think because I am on a main road at a main intersection for our area. Tons of cars go by in a day. You wouldn’t think that much would come in but I think the a/c is bringing it in.

Little Bitty’s bday was Thursday, I took her and the rest of the kids to the fair. Now we have to do cake and gifts at some point today.

And be ready to go out of town for a while with Bff and all the kids for a while tonight maybe. I am still laying here like I have nothing to do. I am stressing about it all mostly the house and this lady coming. But I can’t force myself up to do anything about it. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am stressing but don’t care at the same time. Guess I should go make lunch and try to get this all done.

{September 23, 2017}   Feeling Anxious and Overwhelmed

I have so much going on but then I have this one thing in the back of my mind I have to take care of the next week. It involves having people in my home and going through my house a property inspection kind of thing. I have nothing to hide but I hate people in my private space and going through my stuff or what. I am not sure how to handle it. My house is turned upside down, right now from leaving for the storm trying to go through things and get rid of stuff and things just getting set to the side until I have time to handle them and I haven’t. Both my fish tanks are like half empty right now and have been for a while because I just haven’t had time to mess with them or because I have not felt like messing with them because of all that is going on. I just don’t know what to do. I want to get things picked up and ready but the more I try to clean up the worse the mess seems to get and I give up and it sits. I am not even worried about the clutter everywhere as I just don’t want people in my house and walking around looking at things taking pictures and things. If the house was empty I wouldn’t want them too. I just feel it is my stuff stay out of it.

Is that weird or strange that I don’t want them in my house? If it is friends or something like that I don’t care but I have to be in the right mood even for them. But strangers that I don’t know I don’t want bothering me. I have to take time out of my busy day to be here to let them in and show them around and everything. I just don’t want to deal with them. I am thinking about calling back Monday and seeing if there is a different way to handle it. I can no believe it is stressing me out and bothering me this much. It makes it hard to think about other stuff do my school work or anything.

et cetera
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