Single___Parent___Life











{January 10, 2020}   Court Round 2 Finally

I have been looking at the clerk’s site and child support enforcement to see when my court date is since they posted last week that they were sending a date in the mail. They have not updated them. That isn’t normal because the clerks site is updated daily and a few times a day most the time. Anytime something is done someone is updating it.

I contacted child support yesterday evening before I left to go to my other job when I could finally get through. They said that my court date is Feb the 26th at 8:30 am. I am dreading going, I have been since I seen it said they had set one and sent the letter. I hate the way I felt when I seen father of the Year last year. I don’t want to feel that way again. Bff says she will go with me but she said that last time too and didn’t. I am thinking about asking my friend I have been hanging out with if he would go with me. He knows it is coming up and that I am dreading going. I told him how it was last time.

I also asked them to check on the case with R.C because that was done back in October and they have done nothing with it since then. They said they are not sure why something wasn’t done they are waiting on a court date. She said she is going to send a paper over to the lawyer or courts and have the look into it. So hopefully they will get that going and we will go with in the next month or so as well.

Father of the year is over $3900 behind I don’t know who will give him that much money to get him out of it this time. As much as it would be nice to have the money I kind of would like to see him do some time for it this time. Maybe he will see that if he don’t pay it this will really happen. The threat wasn’t enough to make him keep paying. He figures oh well I will just borrow the money or what once it gets to that point. But maybe if he had to do time because he couldn’t get it then he would think hay maybe I should just pay it before it gets so out of hand and I can’t get the money. Probably not but wishful thinking. If he is borrowing this from his boss and his boss is taking it back weekly out of his pay check then it is taking weeks, well months to pay back. What is the difference if he just pays it to me every week and it not get so far behind and his kids have what they need. Would be much easier than not paying it, having to go to court, scramble for the money and risk going to jail or going and having to spend who knows how much time there and now risk losing your job and house and everything you have had given to you. Because we all know he didn’t get it on his own or work to get it. His boss gave him everything and now hopes he works enough to at least pay him every week.

I am going to bring that up to the judge as well why we are in court. I’m going to say to her, can I say something?When she says yes I am going to say I want to ask him some questions. He says he is working he just isn’t paying weekly like he is supposed to. He says he don’t have it to pay and don’t have the $3900 to give today. I would like to know where he is going to get the money from? Assuming he is going to have to borrow it or try to borrow it he is going to then have that to pay back weekly. How does he pay it back weekly once he gets to this point but then says that when he isn’t paying on it he can’t afford to pay me? What is the difference if it comes out and goes to someone else to borrow what he pays me when he gets to this point vs him just paying me weekly and not getting to this point and having to not only now need to pay me but also have to pay that back weekly or monthly?

I am going to also ask if we can’t get this back in court like after him missing two weeks or a months of payments not a year just about. I am going to point out the fact that he is working he admits to working and just not paying it, but that he pays it once they pull him in there and make him so he has the means, can and will just won’t. I hope it all goes well.



{June 12, 2019}   Time For A Change

Who the hell do I call, write or visit to get some fucking changes with the way they handle these fucking deadbeat dads who don’t feel the need to pay child support? May 15 we went to court and he made the payment to catch up SOME of his back pay not even all of it. Then makes one full payment and not even half of another and has paid nothing since then. He is over $700 behind just since we went to court. Not counting the back pay he still has to take care of.

I messaged them the other day after getting part of a payment and they said we JUST went to court and we had to give him and/or his boss the time to get the payment in. This was three weeks after court one and a half payments down or behind. How much time does he need to make the payment and keep them going? The $2500 back pay did not come from his pocket at all. He got it from mommy probably I don’t know don’t care. Then that very Friday he misses a payment then makes one payment and the following week makes less than half a payment and again nothing last week. But he is walking around scott free nothing being done.

I called them today and asked them what was going on. She said they sent a paper telling his boss they need him to take money out every week or to know if he isn’t working there on the 11th and they are waiting to hear back. I said the 11th was before we went to court so nothing is being done since we have been and he is still basically not making payments? Well they have to be 90 days behind she tells me. I said he is already over $700 behind I thought it was a week or month? Well at the end of JUNE if he has not made a payment then they will take action and try to collect. I said so we will go back to court or what? Oh no you have already been to court. I said and he isn’t paying still so we need to go back or something. Well no it will depend there are other actions they can take. I asked what?

Suspend his license, I said already did that in February

suspend pursonal or state licenses I said he don’t have them

Go after his tax return, I said already doing that and he don’t file he works under the table

She like well we can only do so much. I said why can’t we just take him back to court and put him in jail or threaten him or what? Because that is the only way he is going to ever pay. Well at the end of the month we will send a letter to his employer to have them take it out again and to him to see why he isn’t paying and he will have so many days to comply and then those are the steps we go through. They may send it back to court in 90 days if he don’t comply.

Why don’t they take him the first payment he misses and send a letter telling him to pay it or show up in court? If he keeps missing payments and haven to have letters sent to him they should make him come in and he should have to pay so much in advance ahead that way if he misses then the kids are not going without why it takes them so long to get him in court.

I don’t know what the right answer is or the answer is at all but I know that something has to change and they have to do something and get these guys on the line and make them see that they are going to be in and out of court and or jail if they do not pay. I am sure they will say they don’t have the money to put them in there all the time or more than every 90 days or what. But you know what if they didn’t have 15 people sitting around doing nothing waiting on people to come in their office maybe they could. Or maybe if they had 12 of them people each take so many cases and make sure that the parties are paying or sending them letters and going to court they could. Because they have no less than 15 people sitting around in the office just waiting for people to walk in and I have been there an hour or so before closing and I have been there in the middle of the day and right at closing. All hours of the day and there has never been more than me and 3 other people in there at any given time.

I have to go this Friday for the DNA test and I am going to talk to them in office and see if I can get anywhere or any more help than what I am going. If not I am going to call the judge and if I get no where from there I am going to go to the court and file papers myself and get it in front of the judge or go to the court house and wait and tell them I need to talk to the judge.

I want to message him or call him and say look I am going to their office Friday morning if you don’t want me to sign the papers to have you picked up then you need to make sure you have a payment in tomorrow so they can get it to me by Monday. If it isn’t the full $719 I will sign anyway. Just see if that scares him into paying. I also feel like going and seeing his grandma and calling his parents and saying look I know that you all paid this for him why he told you all this time he has been paying it but that you are wasting your time because he is still not paying and this much behind here is the site here is the information if you don’t believe me. I am going down to do what I have to do to get him back in court and get it paid or him in jail. Even if he goes to jail and does anytime it is going to just be a circle because the money don’t go away and I will not sign for it to he is still going to have to pay and it is just going to keep adding up why he is in there. maybe they will get on his ass and make him pay. because the last thing they want is for one of their kids to be in jail. That looks bad on them. If he goes I am going to make sure everyone knows too.

But most of all I just want some things changed and them to do something about this before 90 days and for all these parents men and women to get the help they should be. Not stuglling to get by and doing without and their kids doing without because they are not doing anything. Because I can tell you if it comes down to going to jail or paying many, many, many of these guys would pay. And if they knew that after just one or two weeks of missing a payment they were going to be jerked back in there and have to pay anyway or go to jail they would. It would only take a few times of making them get there and paying a lump sum to get caught up or spending some time in the jail that they would make sure if they had to sell their ass on the corner they got their child support paid. But they know now they rack up all this they have to pay a little chunk then make no more payments for months or years and nothing is done until next time they pay a little chunk and walk off again. I think if we done this half or more would get their money in and their kids would be getting the money they need and not doing without.

I am going to spend the next few days figuring out who i need to call write and go see to get something done because this is not working. If someone don’t raise enough hell and let them get away with doing things the way they are then they are not going to change the way they go after these guys either.

Until then I am going to make his life hell as well because I now as of Monday have a lot of free time in the mornings I will be watching him and reporting him when he gets in the company truck and is driving, I will be letting his boss and family know like I said that he isn’t bothering to pay. I am so done and so over it all I don’t even care anymore, what anyone thinks or feels or says about it all.



{May 16, 2019}   $2500 or 60 Days in County

Court went way better than expected, he wasn’t there when I got there he showed up right at time or late. With his fast-food in hand. When I got there they gave me a sheet of paper to fill out. I did it and turned it in. They gave him a book to fill out when he got there. He filled it out then sat there in the hall outside the court room and ate his food. He was wearing old jeans, FLIP FLOPS and a a dresser shirt all wrinkled and un-tucked. His hair is down to his shoulders and looked dirty. While his beard and everything was all nasty looking.

When he came in I happen to be looking that direction we looked right at each other and he looked away quick and looked at the floor and walked by me. He never said two words to me at all sat looking at the floor most the time. But when he walked around the corner and we looked at each other I seen him the adrenaline that went through me was horrible. It was that fight or flight reaction and mine was just fight, fight fight was all I could think. I felt like I was going to puke, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, and I started shaking it was so bad. I shook the rest of the time I was there for the most part. I did not expect that feeling at all, but I guess it shouldn’t surprise me with all the hell he has put me through. Like before when he would come near me or touch me I would flinch.

He went and checked in and came back with his paperwork to fill out, he went down past me and sat down on the next bench a little bit away from me because the rest were full. A guy came and sat by me, I got up and went to the bathroom and came back, another guy had come up and he sat where I had been sitting. When I walked back up the only place to really sit was on the bench father of the year was on by him or on the other end of the bench almost right against Father of the Year again. I couldn’t make myself go over there and sit down. I looked at the two guys and there was a spot between them, I walked over and sat down between them. There was probably still about a half foot to foot between me and each of them. I couldn’t sit next to father of the year had there only been an inch between each of us. They didn’t want us standing around or on the other other side of the hall.

There were 5 cases in front of us they went by his last name or we would of been like the 2nd ones up. They called us into the court room and I was looking around to see where we were going to sit. Most the time they have a table on either side of the room one for each of the parties that are there. I am sure you all know how a court room is set up. We walked in they had one table across from the judge set up with two chairs. The chairs were so close we would of been touching each other. Again this thought went through my head and that fight went through me. I was thinking I am not going to sit there with him. I can not sit there with him like that. They are going to get mad, they can they can say what they want but I can’t do it. About that time they stopped us and the lady who called us in told me to go up by the judge and sit. In the little witness box I guess they call it. She then told him to go sit at the table across from us.

The judge asked us each to state our names then told us to raise our right hand. I raised mine and I heard her say something. I looked up and she was pointing at him and motioning for him to switch HANDS. He had his left hand raised. When she was motioning for him to switch it took him a few minutes to figure out what she was saying and change it. After that the lady from child support enforcement went over why we were there that he hadn’t been paying or what and that they wanted him to pay $2500 or do 60 days in jail. I wanted to smile and laugh but I didn’t I held it together. I was expecting them to say give her $500 or do a few days in jail so when they said 4x what I was expecting I was floored. But still was 50/50 on how to think it was going to go.

They asked why he hadn’t paid and he said he had gotten behind and was starting to get caught up and wanted to start paying. He wanted a chance to fix things and make it right.

The lady from child support enforcement said got behind you haven’t paid anything at all.

He said he wasn’t making as much as he use to and his wife was sick and had cancer and he was trying to take care of everything and work. The judge looked at him and said you have three kids and they can’t take care of their selves. Whatever is going on you still have to take care of them. You haven’t been paying anything or doing anything for them. What should we do about this or are you going to do to fix this?

He started with his he wanted the courts to give him a chance to get it caught up and work with him and give him sometime.

Other things were said through out the time we were in there I don’t even remember all of it because every time they would say something to him he come off with the something he wants to fix it and make it right.

Then they asked him if he was working he said yes. I was shocked but he also knows I have pictures and things of him working so that is probably why he said yes. Then they asked him how long he had been at his job. He told them about 3 years. That just made him look worse than because he is working and not paying he had said he wasn’t or hadn’t been but he didn’t he said he been there three years. The lady said and you didn’t feel that you should be paying child support all this time and taking care of your children?

He come off with he didn’t know what to do or how to pay it. She said you have a direct order to pay it to her. He said something else she turned around to me and said have you all ever had a conversation about child support and paying?

I said yes we have had a few, I said he told me I’m not paying you anything if you want me to pay or want the support go to child support enforcement and let them handle it. I said I told him that is fine you want it to go through them lets go down there and set it up. I said I told him tell me what day and time you can go I will do what I have to in order to make sure I am there. We can do everything and it will be done you won’t have to worry about it anymore. I said when he seen I was willing to do that it was he didn’t have a ride and he wasn’t doing it if I wanted it to do it myself.

She turned and said something to him they talked a minute. He went back to his can’t afford it was trying to get caught up and things again and not knowing where or how to pay and handle it or what to do about it.

The judge looked at him and said here it says that you got a letter Telling you to start paying child support enforcement making your payments there. Did you not get that letter? He said yes he got that letter. She said so you knew where to pay it.

He said well when I got that letter I didn’t know how much I was supposed to pay or when and how often. I was confused.

The judge said you had an order already in place that tells you how much to pay. You still have to pay that amount.

I said can I say something? She said just a minute and said some more to him. Then said go ahead.

I said he is sitting here saying he didn’t know what to pay, how to pay, that he was worried about not paying through the court or child support or it would be considered a gift and all these excuses about why he didn’t pay. I said he told me to go to child support enforcement and we had the conversation about going there and setting it up. So he knows they are there and what they do. If he had all these questions and he knows he can pay it through them, why didn’t he pick the phone up and ask them his questions or go down there and say I need to pay but I want it to go through you all how do I take care of setting that up or whatever other questions he had? He knows they are a resource to use.

The judge and child support lady just looked at him waiting for him to answer he mumbled I don’t know or something and just sat there looking at the table.

They went back and forth with things again and he was talking about wanting a chance to fix things and pay it and not making enough. The judge said something about going to jail he said he needed to be there for his wife and things her being sick.

I said I have a question. The judge said yes.

I said he keeps saying he isn’t making enough, he isn’t making as much as he use to and things. I said I am a single mom with 4 kids. I said I have no help from family, friends, a boyfriend nothing like that. I said I have to make sure that anything and everything doctors, school, or whatever else comes up with them they get there and I am there to handle it all. I said and I am working 60+ hours a week struggling to get by and hardly get to see my kids.

I said be is a single male who does not see or do anything with or for his kids so he don’t have to worry about anything like that or daycare.

He says he is not making as much as he use to and not making enough to take care of his responsibilities why don’t he go out and get a 2nd or 3rd job so that he can? Like I do on top of taking care of 4 kids on my own. She looked at me smiled and said your right and looked at him to see what he had to say. Of course he didn’t say anything.

I said and while he says he is not making as much why he stop paying. I said he has never paid consistently and has been behind. I said before he cut all contact with the kids the only way I could get him to give me anything most times was to say my lights are going to go off, I don’t have it or my water or I am short on rent. I said I was working and going to school he knew I needed what he was supposed to pay and wouldn’t. I said I would tell him if you do not give me the money and I lose my home I am going to have to take the kids and leave the state. I can’t afford to live here and do it all. I am going to have to go somewhere I have family and help with the kids why I work. I said at that time he did not want that and would give me what little bit to keep things on or pay rent. I said so why he acts like he was paying and something happen he never really has since the order was put in place.

The lady from child support said your honor there is a declaration here showing there is more back pay owed. What we are asking for is just what he is behind since we got involved in November.

The judge said we will come back and take care of that, right now lets take care of this and figure out how we are going to handle this and resolve it.

She looked at him and said something about how to get this taken care of. He said he would like to set up payment arrangements and work on getting it paid off.

The judge said you could of been making payments all along and haven’t this needs taken care of now your kids need this money. So this is how we are going to handle it. It is 9 whatever right now. You have until 12:45 to figure it out. I want you back here at 12:45 and I want you to either have $2500 or be prepared to do 60 days in county. If you do not show back up at 12:45 I will send them to come and get you, so regardless you better be here. She turned looked at me and said you do not have to be back at 12:45, you can call me then and we will let you know if he showed back up and what he decides to do. You all free to go have a nice day. I said thank you and turned told the child support lady thank you.

We walked out of the court room they let him go and stopped me. The ladies said here go in here and get a card and make sure you call in this after noon and see what happen now and smiled.

I went out he was gone. I was kind of glad but also had wanted to see how he got there and who was with him, no one had come in with him. I pulled out went down the street beside the building there he stood beside the back smoking. No cars I knew around no one else around. I just kept going. I got to the end of the street and figured out I wasn’t anywhere near where I thought I was going. I was way out of the way so I had to turn around and go back by. He was still standing there waiting.

I went to the child support office to fill out a paper they said needed done before I went to work so I didn’t have to take off work go down there again. Then went to work.

I was only an hour late for week luckily. I waited until about 1:30 and called the number on the card they gave me. The lady read a bunch of things off just going over what was done that day in court. Then she said and the order for the $2500 purge was paid. I said so he came back and he paid it? She said yes. She said I should have it some time next week. I am guessing mommy and daddy paid it but not sure. I really don’t care. He also has to pay weekly now not monthly or whenever in the month he feels like it. Each week he don’t pay I can contact them to let them know and they will contact him over it. I will not have to deal with him.

They also told everyone before they started all we are here about is money and getting the person who owes to pay. We don’t care if you see your kid or not. If your not go to the other end of the courthouse and file a motion to go in front of a judge for that.

I am going to wait a couple weeks go back to child support and ask them what I can do to get the rest of the back pay he owes me? Will they go after a lump sum like they just did or will they add it to his weekly payment? Because they can take up to like 48% of his pay to give me.



{April 1, 2019}   80 Years
This has been on my mind a lot since I seen it Friday night and then I seen post on line this weekend. The more the see the madder I get.
You see I said before Bff took in a baby back the end of last year. He went home right before Christmas. She had him because mom and dad were in jail. Mom was in charges she had from before she got pregnant or had him something. Well right before she went in dad was picked up for this.
Bff took the baby in she felt bad for him was worried what would happen to him. Mind you either one of us really know this girl and do not know this guy at all. Bff met her from me. I knew of her she went to massage school when I went. She was in the other class I didn’t really know her. If we talked a handful of times why we were there that is a lot. Probably no where close. After I left there I didn’t see her for 3 years.
When me and Bff lived by each other and my oldest son was going to private school her son was there too. We seen each other at the bus stop and even then I had no clue who she was.
Anyway she was having issues and ask me to help her get her son to and from the bus. I did some she wanted to hang out with us and things so we let her some. But the things I found she was doing and into and then all the guys she was running around with and doing things with I stopped talking to her.
Bff stopped hanging out with her and things as well. But they stayed friends on facebook. They would talk on there once in awhile. In the mean time in 5 years she has had 3 kids two she gave away. The two she already had she loss and she has kept this one. Had Bff not taken him she would of loss him to dcf and not have him now. They knew she was going to jail and the night before they came to get him. He was with bff and she is dcf approved and everything so they left her alone.
She has been out of jail 5 months and she still isn’t clean and running around. Calling bff to see if she will take him she needs sleep, she needs time to herself, she has to go shopping, to the school or whatever she don’t want to take him with her. Bff has told her no a lot I am surprised. She just had surgery and bff took him for a week or so. Then she tells her how she was out with friends and doing this and that when she was supposed to be resting and healing and dealing with an infection.
Well since this happen she told her she needed some alone time and she needed to process this and deal with this and she couldn’t take him back. Bff told her to bad she had to work she had to take him. Then she was trying to get her to take him back that night. She told her no.
Now I been seeing her post and talking about the baby’s dad and team lolyal and 80 years staying strong and just all this shit about being here for him waiting for him when he gets out and all this. She took the baby to see him last night!!!! How the hell does the jail or prison allow that the charges he is in on and found guilty?
This is a baby he is 18 months old. The pictures he had and things. Then we found out he took care of this baby for two months why mon did her thing and couldn’t and all this.
She keeps saying things to Bff about him and pray for him he was getting sinticed the other day how she still loves him and waiting on him.
I already told bff she better not ever say anything to me or around me about him, how she misses him, loves him or waiting on him. Because when she does it is done I am going to go off and tell her.
I don’t get it she is the one that found the pictures and turned him in. Was all freaked out about it and now this. If she thinks nothing ever then why did she even bother to turn him in? Not saying she shouldn’t have and I am so glad she did but you know what I mean.
I do not get it she has 5 kids all in the age range they say he was doing this with and getting pictures of. How can ANYONE feel that way and say those things about someone like this like its nothing they slapped someone and got in trouble or something. But none the less how can a MOTHER think nothing of it?
I told bff she has dropped down to the ranks of Peter Pan and Wendy. I want to get a hold of her like I wanted to get a hold of Wendy when all the shit went down with bff’s adoptive daughter that is hers. The pictures I see of the kid on line the things she is letting him do or play with. Its going to keep on I am going to message her or drive to her house tell her something. She needs to just sign the baby over to Bff or let dcf take him and give him to a family that is going to love him and take care of him give him a good life that she can’t. All she can give him is nothing really. She is staying with her mom they fight all the time she wants nothing to do with the baby nor the rest of her family because he is mixed. Her own son her oldest told her she did not need to pick him up in december she needed to leave him where he was at let bff have him she couldn’t do anything for him he was happy and had a good life and a family. He was right i feel bad for her oldest he gets pushed and dumpped here there and everywhere no one has given him a stable home for whatever reason and then complain about how he does. But then his sister family took her in and is keeping her.
Its all very messed up and sad and this is one time I’m not keeping my mouth shut when it comes up.

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{July 15, 2018}   No Show Deadbeat

Not surprising the deadbeat did not show up or call today. I am really not surprised at all. I sat down last night and figured how far behind he is. He owes $9400 as of this Friday that just passed. But no one will do anything about it. It is pretty sorry these guys are able to walk away from their responsibilities so easily and no one does anything. No matter how much you beg and ask.

It really should be a criminal charge to not pay and take care of your kid/s. It is one thing if there is a reason you really can’t and you are there other ways or what. But when you do like he is and not doing anything and have the money coming in. Its messed up.

 

My oldest said she isn’t surprised and expected it. But I know it hurts and there was that small tiny shred of hope that was crushed. And it hurts just as bad. I hurt for her. I just want to go knock on his door be like here you go you said bring them over. Buckle up they are moving in because ai can’t do it anymore. Leave them for like two weeks. Tell them to make their lives hell why they are there. After the first 24/48 they be bringing them back and paying. If only that would work. I am mailing the paper off to irs Monday and as soon as i can get to the court house filing for him to go to jail and lose his dl. See how he works then with none and from jail. How his boss likes it when they come knocking on the door he ends up in jail as well. Fun times are about to come their way.



{November 5, 2017}   Don’t Want to Be Your Friend

This morning I wake up to messages from a lady that I have been ignoring for years. Yes you read that right years I have been ignoring and avoiding her. I do not reply or even act like I know she messaged me and if I see her in the store I go to the other side of the store and do not let her see me there. I do not want to get stuck talking to her or explaining myself in why I do not want anything to with her or her on my page. You know how they say if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all? Well I have nothing nice to say to her at all and it would not turn out very well.

It is not even like I was ever close with this women or her family at all. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times we have really even spoke to each other. I met her years ago when me and father of the year first got together at a church we started going to. Her sons went there and her daughter and grand daughter as well. The one son seemed okay and we talked to him and things. The other son that had the wife and little girl I never cared for from the first time I met him. I talked to the wife some and always talked to the little girl played with her and she played with the kids. She was really little at that time a few years old. I told Father of the Year when I met him that I bet he was controlling and abusive to his wife. Sure enough it wasn’t long that it came out that he was. Then one day I got a phone call from the wife I thought was odd because we didn’t hang out, outside of church or anything like that. I had never talk to her outside of church but maybe once or twice. I wasn’t home and there was no message. Later I found out that dcf had been to her house and taken the little girl away. They were looking for someone to take her in. I was never contacted about it again after that one phone call and stayed out of it.

Well she was in state care for a couple at least a couple years. It came out the dad had been doing things to the little girl and abusing her when the mom was at work. The brother of this guy had gotten with a close friend of the families daughter and they were together and she use to take her and take care of her and do things with her all the time and she told the girls mother one night when she was at there house.

Later the brother that married into the our friends family ended up getting a divorce and later going to jail for being with a girl that was 16 and he was almost 30. So now both boys have been in trouble for this and with two different people one being his own kid and at one time it was rumored that the brother may have been in on it with the daughter as well.

The mother of the boys still has them in her home living, still does everything for them and even has kids at her house around them knowing all this and see’s nothing wrong with him going out with women with kids. Despite what he done to his own child. Lets them live with her as well. I am sorry if that was my child they would be cut off and on their own. Everyone screws up and does stupid shit or what. People should get a second chance, but when it comes to doing things like that and hurting children no you do not get a second chance at hurting a child and you are not thought of the same again.

Over the years I have become closer to and pretty good friends with the ones daughter and her mother. We talk all the time and I have had her stay at my house or come after school and stay until her mom can pick her up come to birthday and holiday parts. For all of these reasons I do not want anything to do with this women or her sons and find it very odd that she keeps contacting me and trying to get me to talk to her and be friends with her when she really don’t know me and we have not seen each other in years or talked. We don’t even go to church together anymore. I am not going to go be friends with them both and I would not do that to this little girl and her mother because even though the mom has had her ups and downs she has been through a lot and really is a good person and has done a lot for her and her daughter to improve their lives. Either way I do not mess with or have people like that around me or my kids.

I posted something on my facebook about why do you keep wasting your time trying to talk to me for years when I never talk to you or answer you and tagged it stalker. Few hours later I get a text from Sleeping Beauty asking if I was okay? I told him yes why? I had no idea why he would be asking that when I have not talked to him in weeks, maybe a month almost. He said what is that about a stalker or your stalker problem? I told him what I was talking about and how this is what her kids did and things. He thought it was crazy too.



As you all know I have had a problem with a peeping tom, the guy that lives across the street that was seen but the police will do nothing about. Then the last week someone had come in my house. I posted about that in Making Sure You Know I was Here. I am know left to wonder if it was my peeping tom who came in my house or if it is whoever they feel has Stalked us for years. I am starting to think it was the guy across the street who is known for looking in the windows.

This is why I am starting to think it was the guy across the street who was doing it and not nothing to do with the person who we have dealt with over the years. Wednesday when I was dealing with getting my truck fixed and my mom was blowing up my phone calling texting and posting stuff on facebook. My sister sent me a text and called me. I did not answer for a while because I was busy. After a little bit I was beyond pissed an and finally answered and went off. She told me that the guy across the street had been arrested for trying to get one of the school kids to have sex with him.

They said she was walking to school and he stopped her and was telling her how pretty she was and wanting her to go behind some houses or over in a lot and have sex with him. She got away from him went to school and told. They called police they made a sketch of him and came back out the next day or so and was looking for him and found him. They arrested him and he is in jail on two charges a battery charge he has a $500 bond on and a attempted sexual battery he has no bond on. He went to court Wednesday and that is what they set everything at.

When things finally settled down and I was able to I looked everything up to see what it said on the news sites. I wasn’t able to find him in the jail or on our clerk website so I called the jail and the lady was kind of rude and said he wasn’t there an ha not been there. I was giving her the name it said he was arrested under in the paper so I know he was there. It is all over the news them putting him in the car and taking him to the jail. How can she say he isn’t there and she never had him. I was trying to ask her she was just to rude I hung up before I snapped at her. I finally thought of the daily jail population report that you can look at on line. It shows everyone that they have in the jail a the time. I looked on it and looked for his middle name instead of his last name and he was right there. In the paper it gives a first middle and last but on the jail report it has him listed with like 4 or 5 names. I was then able to find him on the clerk of court site. I still could not find the information that I was looking for so I called the jail back.

Thank God a different parson answered the phone. I ask her if they had him under the last name I found him and she did. I ask what bond and charges were and she told me. But she didn’t say he had a hold. I said he don’t have a ICE hold? She said well I don’t know let me look at something else it isn’t showing here.

I told her this man is the one that got picked up for messing with the little girl and he lives across the street from me. He is known for messing around peoples houses at night and things but that nothing was ever done about it. I said I have been dealing with this for a few years now and I have 4 kids here to worry about. She said oh lord they should have done something I said yes I know but it took him doing this before they would. She said yes he has a ICE hold as well. I said oh good then maybe they will take him and he won’t be getting out an coming back. She said they need to do something with him.

I have to call back tomorrow and see if ICE kept their hold or released it. They use to have three days I think it was to say they were going to come and get them or to just let them go. I think with his charges they will come and get him. They do not have to wait for him to go through the courts and answer for his charges they can just come get him because they will deport him. If it is still like it use to be. It has been 7 years since I have had to deal with this stuff on a daily and some things have changed so I am not sure if this is one of them. I was tired I didn’t even think to ask her if it has changed. I just knew he was there with no bond on one charge and a hold on the other he wasn’t going to be getting out anytime soon. I could worry about it later just had to remember to call Monday and see if they kept the hold and if not to keep a check on his court dates and things so I knew if or when he got out.

Also when I got home Wednesday I had taken Father of the years truck so I could run and get the kids and had him bring me my truck to the house and pick his up. I got here and was locked out. I just took his keys and left mine because I was in a rush because of being late. I knew he be here in a few minutes so the kids were playing in the yard and I was sitting in the truck charging my phone when I looked up and seen a cop coming around the corner and past my house. I step out by the road at the end of the driveway and waved for him to stop. He rolled the window down. I told him I said you know the man that you all arrested today or yesterday that lives across the street from me? He looked a little confused, I said the one that was trying to pick up the little girl? He lives in that house right there across the street from me. He said oh yeah, him I. I said well he is known in this area for a long time to mess around peoples houses and look in their windows. I said this man who use to live over here seen him looking in my window and others in this area here had caught him but I guess never enough for you all to be able to do anything about it. I said when it happen to me I made a report of it and he was seen at that time walking up to my window and then walking away from it and going back to his house. I said I seen the shadow of him outside my window but didn’t know that was what I was seeing until I talk to the guy over here when he told me he seen him. I thought it was a shadow from the trees. He asked if I had the report number I told him no it been about a year maybe year and half ago. I told him I had problems with someone messing around my house at the time and had ever since but that I had not made a report of it because any time I called they say they can’t do anything. I told i him I had called not that long a go about someone being in my laundry room outside but they came out didn’t see anything. I told him whoever it is makes noises to let you know they are there like they are trying to get you to come outside just like when they were in there. But that I don’t come out or that I bring the dog out with me and look to see if I can see who it is. He said that it was good to know that he was already suspect in that report of looking in my windows and that he was going to pull the report and give it to the detective over the case of the little girl. I said he wasn’t the suspect he was seen I just didn’t know his name at the time. it says the brother in law or the man across the street. He said he could pull the report by looking up my address and I told him that the other 9k officer (he had a dog too) who drives the little SUV was the one that took the report and that he had stopped by a few times when I was out to see how things were going. Maybe that will help keep him in there even if ICE takes their hold off but I have a feeling they won’t.

I got to thinking too about the time my friend Wanda stayed the night here a while back, when I got up she was all freaked out and told me Pedro across the street had come over was talking to her and acting all creepy and asking her all about her and me and that when he went to leave he grabbed her and kissed her. I laughed my ass off thinking she was joking because I have known Pedro most my life and he is this nice polite guy, he has a family and things. Never would I think he would ever do that. I thought she was joking and messing around. She said no really it isn’t funny he did. I said right away it wasn’t Pedro it was his brother in law and I was mad he came to my house and done such a thing. She kept saying no it was Pedro. She never really seen his brother in law. I said you want to confront him I tell his wife I tell him stay away from my house they can all stay over there. She said no just see if he comes back over when I am here or what. See Pedro cuts my yard he does a lot of yards over around us and they part over here when they need extra parking and things I just didn’t think it was him. Well when this guy got arrested she called me she seen it on the news she said it was his brother in law. I hadn’t seen Pedro up close and never really seen the brother in law and he told me his name was Pedro so I believed him. She said but looking at this guys picture and him when they are walking him to the car and things it wasn’t Pedro it was him who came over that day. I said see I told you I knew it. most people think she is a lot younger than she is. My 6 and 11 year old thought she was a kid wanted to ask her dad if she could come spend the night with us. I said to her I wonder if that SOB thought she was my oldest daughter out there by herself and came done that. I was pissed I wish we had called and reported it then. But she really thought it was the other guy and she never thought he was going to do something to a kid. She just thought stupid ass and he is going to get caught by his wife kind of thing. Lets just wait let him come again you see him we bust him to his wife.

But I am thinking that it is more likely that he was the one in my house. Because all the stuff that was messed with and done in my house. Before when they came in they never done that kind of stuff, never anything messed with. I am wondering if he didn’t slip in when we left thinking I would be back from taking the kids to school in a little bit and then I never came home until late that day. He thought he be in here in my room waiting on my grab me when I came back here. Why everything that was messed with was in my room. The dog getting out of her cage probably happen after he left since we figured out how she was getting out.

I am also wondering when he messed with this little girl and how many days were between him messing with her and then them coming to look for him. The news never said just he messed with her she went to school told, they got with her made the sketch, sent it to someone t make a picture then came out and looked for him and seen him. Wonder if maybe he did this so close to home did he run in my house to hide thinking they would come right away and look for him and know where he lived. He could hide here and watch out the window where the blind was messed up and see them driving around looking for him, watch them go to his house and leave if they went there and everything. Knowing the time of day it was I wasn’t back yet figured I wasn’t coming back or heard me tell the kids to get all their stuff I wouldn’t be back until later. I was trying to remember if he was around when I went out that day because I know one day he came riding up on his bike when we went out and I thought it was odd because I don’t see him during the day or in the morning like that because he works. Well he use too work I don’t know if he still does. But the morning he was looking in my window he was picked up to go to work and he use to get dropped off after work or you see him riding him bike like he been to work and was coming home at times. But never during the day or morning like the one morning I seen him not long ago. We are a few feet from each other the kids loud and things you can hear what is being said unless your talking really low but at normal tone very easy for him to be able to hear us. Who know but at least he is in jail now and we hopefully won’t have to worry about him anymore ever.



My friend called and was talking to me earlier she talked for a little while and that is odd, she never calls and talks very long in the day time. She called me two or three times the third time she talked for a while. Then she gets around to telling me how her son up north got arrested yesterday.

She tells me how her other son and his wife took off work and went to the court hearing I guess the way she talked. She said when he was brought in and seen them there he just hung his head and looked at the floor. Once it was over they got his car and they left. Well I guess the brother not in jail broke down in the parking lot after they got home or on the way. She tells me she broke down and was all hysterical when she found out.

This is not surprise, they knew it was coming and it isn’t like he is looking at a great amount of time maybe 6 months I think. Less than a year. He got caught drinking a driving, he didn’t pay all that he was supposed to pay and he didn’t do the classes and things he was supposed to do. He just ignored it all like it was going to go away I guess. She was up there for Christmas and New Years and he was supposed to pay it by now and didn’t. I am guessing he turned himself in because they issued a warrant. It isn’t like he don’t have the money for it and couldn’t do it. He works everyday and makes good money. Until not long ago he was living with his brother and his family and wasn’t paying them either, and he is behind on his car payment they were looking for it to take it and they lied said they didn’t know who he was or where he lived. I told her that shit don’t work because they can find out and they are not stupid that is why they keep coming back there. Even though he may not live there they know he is related to them and they know where he is. He has a drug problem I knew this for a while when she was telling me how he works all the time isn’t paying anything never has no money and the people he is running around with. I didn’t say anything he had one in the past they all have I figured she knew. Well I am sure she knew she was just in denial. She called me up about 8 months ago and told me he did and something that happen maybe that was when he got arrested for driving under the influence. I said I know, she said how did you know? I said because nothing adds up he works every day and never has any money and never pays anyone, he has had one in the past and he don’t have a girl or anything he is spending it on. It isn’t hard to figure out. She was like yeah your right and I should have known but I didn’t I didn’t think it was that but whatever she went on. Then why she was up there he took her to a friends house she found out he was there buying drugs why he had her with him. She freaked out because she was scared they were going to get caught. He made  deal with her and his dad he was going to pay his fines do the things he needed to do and get all this taken care of. He didn’t so he went to jail.

The brother and wife get home or where every they were going and the brother is all a mess and the mother is down here all a mess the wife decides that she is going to go a bail him out so those two will calm down and be happy. I also think she had other motives for doing it but this is what she told my friend and her son she was only doing it for him and her not the one in jail. I think she done it because she is getting her pills from him or he is getting them for her because she has a problem of her own that she is trying to hide. She is always calling my friend anytime she is in town asking for her pills or when she goes up there tells her to make sure she brings them. She complains about what the brother does but she is doing the same thing.

She tells me that once he was finally released her son calls all pissed off and says that he never even said thank you when he got out, nothing at all. He went home and him and his girlfriend went to eat and things. But they had no money at all left to get him out they put in all they had and was broke until payday. But as soon as he gets out they are going out for a night on the town. I said and your both surprised by this why? She said because that is his brother and his wife they got him out of jail used their bill money and this is the thanks they get. I said sure it is because it was expected that he would get him out, he knew he wasn’t going to stay there he knew he didn’t have to ask he knew that he would not leave him there and would do whatever he had to do get him out. She said yeah your right he knows his brother will do anything for him.

Just like when he was living there and not paying his brother complained and complained to my friend but he wouldn’t tell him you have to pay or you have to get out. He has a family to take care of while he has no one but himself and if he decides to pay child support. But his brother wouldn’t do it because he was so worried he would stop speaking to him and have nothing to do with him. He didn’t’ want to lose his brother.

She then told me that her husband told the other brother that got him out that he would help him and give him the money he spent to get him out back! I said what why would you do that so now not only is your son enabling him but you all are as well. You are helping your son enable him then your going to be all upset when something happens and when he don’t grow up and handle his stuff his-self and do what he needs to. Why would he when you all sweep it up and pick up the pieces for him and he has to do nothing but go to work collect his pay check and go out and have a good time. She says I know but this and that. I said look he is a big boy he decided to do this so now he needs to man up and handle the outcome like it or not. Why should you or your son take away from your family and bill money and do without to fix his screw ups and he sure don’t care that you are or he wouldn’t keep doing it.

Then she tells me that her bank is over drafted by $1000 and that they had to sell some stuff the other day to put gas in the car and buy a loaf of bread. How she only has a few things in the fridge and she is running out of that and ways to cook it. I said my point and now your going to do without more so that you can give them $400 and some dollars to because they got him out of jail and he isn’t bothering to pay them back when he just had a check Yesterday and he will get another one next Friday? He lives with his girlfriend and her mom who have money so they are not going to be doing without and they aren’t because they are already out for a night on the town as soon as he got out. But you can’t go buy basics that you need for your house to eat. I said it isn’t like he lost his job or got sick and missed work he is sitting there with kids that need to eat and he can’t buy them food and the things they need and needs a little help. He did things and he is still doing things that are against the law and got in trouble. He knew what would or could happen he chose to still do them then he needs to stand up be a man and take care of them not expect all of you too.

She says yeah but it’s so hard and you say this stuff. I said and I am not just saying this and don’t know or haven’t been there, I said I left my dad in jail when my oldest was just a few weeks old because he got arrested for drinking and driving. I couldn’t get him out and I was not taking money I needed for diapers and things to get him out he sat there for about two months before he got out. She said really you did that with your dad. I said yes because I did not have it the only one who could get him out was my mom and he had made her mad just before he went in so she refused to help or do anything. I couldn’t use what I had because I had no way to get anymore and I needed it for bills and the baby. No not my kid but just about the same, she knows how close me and my dad are and that we always helped each other out when we could and found a way if we couldn’t. I could have called my grandpa but he was sick and going through treatment so I wasn’t going to bother him and upset him and get him to go out and deal with the hassle of trying to get him out from the other side of the state or where ever he was at that time. I know my dad wouldn’t not have wanted me to bother him either.

Like I told her my dad told me and my brother he would get us out one time and one time only so we better make sure that was the one time we wanted him to get us out. After that sit your butt down get comfy because your going to be sitting if you don’t find someone else to get you out. There is not putting money in your account and things like that either. You are there you have free room and board, three meals a day, shower, tv and all that you need. You have no need for money. May not be the best of the best or that great to eat but hey you got yourself there you do what you have to do so that you get out and don’t end up back there again. Your not on vacation.

I don’t feel bad for her not having anything right now either because her husband works and makes good money. He works 16 hour days 6 to 7 days a week. He is supposed to have a week off but works half that week or more most the time as well. They should not be behind on their bills, have nothing in the house and have their bank $1000 in the negative.  They took that trip knowing they were behind on rent and things already. Then he came back and didn’t work for a week or more because he was “sick” I do not know anyone who gets as sick as they do as often as they do when she never leaves the house and he hardly goes to work. He has missed so much work they told him he had better come in with a doctors note and that if he missed anymore he would probably lose his job. With in a day or two of going back he missed a day because he couldn’t SLEEP. I said are you kidding me he already was told not to miss anymore and that is what he called and told them. Then was mad they wrote him up. I told her she is lucky that is all they done because they could have gotten rid of him very easily. I don’t know anyone that misses work as much as he misses. RC told me when I first met them and before we became friends that he had a problem with coming to work. Then another friend of mine, my good friend told me the same thing, he don’t come to work half the time and things. When father of the year got him that job at the shop when he was driving tow trucks he missed a ton of work there and then got mad they found spots for everyone so they could keep their jobs but him. Then he got this job and he is hardly ever there. He will work two or three good days maybe a week and then missing days. She is the same way with work and school she missed so much in her classes she failed for not going and had to pay for classes 3 times now because she didn’t go and failed. She started school way before I did and I don’t think she is close to being done. When she tells you she is going to go somewhere don’t count on it. The other week she told me she would be at my house Thursday morning on Wednesday. My friends boyfriend messaged me ask what I was doing the next day. I told him supposed to be doing something with her why? He needed a ride so I told him that was fine I would pick him up after I dropped the kids off. I had done picked him up ran him a few places stopped at my house for a little bit after I picked them up and hung out and had never heard from her. It was almost 12 when I heard from her and that was for her to say she wasn’t coming. I was not surprised at all that is why I told them I would take them where they needed to go. If she has showed up I could have meet her here at the house it would have only took a minute or two to get home.

She knows that I am supposed to get that money either this week or in a few and I look for her to ask me to loan her some money. Well her husband to ask me to loan them some. I am not doing it, because they could have money but they are deciding to give it away over keeping it and doing what they need to do with it. I am not helping them enable the other one to do his drugs and whatever else he is doing. I have my kids to take care of and I will have money put back for future bills and things but that is besides the point I also owe the kids money and it is my oldest birthday Monday. I plan to do a party for her and things as well. I am going to keep out what I need for right now and a little extra so we can get things if we need them but the rest is going to be put toward paying the rent up as much as I can. Then I will get money each month to put back what I used to pay it up then I can use that to pay a little more up and to get other things we want or need at that time. Right now with the spot they are in with the bank being over drafted by so much I can’t count on them giving it back to me when they say they will because who knows what will happen. The bank gets theirs first because it goes right in the bank. Then if other bills or things they need to pay they aren’t going to be paying me when they figure I have all this money in the bank, I will be put on the back burner. I am just going to tell her I payed everything to rent but what I needed to pay bills and things. They can get mad but I am not supporting others habits and helping them is doing just that.



{October 23, 2016}   Nightmare

I went to bed about 2 this morning because I couldn’t hold my eyes open to get my school work done. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow and didn’t wake up until about 9 this morning. I dreamed all night it was so real.

In my dream hell had frozen over, I know it did because I had remarried Father of the Year!!! Even in my dream I was like what the hell is this what the hell am I doing. Next thing I know it’s the next day and I am dropping Father of the Year off at work and he gets arrested for smuggling or something like that. I was livid and went off, I was telling him I didn’t know how he got me to marry him again what a screw up he was that he was on his own I wasn’t going to get him out he could just sit there until they did whatever with him.

I went to my old office where I use to work to tell them if he called not to go get him and that I wasn’t going to be responsible for helping him get out. Before I knew it I was answering phones and working. At one point I had some of the kids there with me. I ended up working a full day all the while I was just trying to get out of there and go home I just stopped in to talk to them a minute. I finally got home and I got a call to come back down there for something. I got there they said something I said so you want me to work again and they said yes. But they wanted me to work full time 8 to 5 like before. I told them I was taking classes and had the kids in school that I had things to go to and on with them, test to take a the school and work to get done. Working full time would be hard. They agreed that I could take off anytime I needed to and I could bring my school work with me and work on it when we weren’t busy. I told them I would try it but I didn’t know if I could do it all the time like before if not then I would have to change things up get off earlier and thing. That I needed to b paid more weekly than what I was makings. They were running two companies now I would be helping with both so it should be more anyway.

I remember calling and talking to a few people and telling them how up set I was how I had screwed up and I just wanted away fro him that I didn’t want to do this again to start with I didn’t know what happen and things. Then I woke up.

 

 



{October 3, 2016}   Re: A Night I Won’t Forget

I told you all about what happen at my house in my post A Night I Won’t Forget last month. My friend came over the other day and we were talking about it and looked the guy up to see what they were doing with him. It showed his case is done and over with in less than 30 days they have tried him and sentenced him. That is unheard of around here. Most any case takes at least 6 month to a year unless they just drop the charges. It was showing that he should have been out already but he was still there. But when you look at the daily jail population it said he was waiting for something placement. But didn’t say it under his cases anywhere. I called my old boss from the bail bonds place to see what he could find out. He couldn’t find anything out about it either and confirmed it looked as if he would be out that day. We figured out that he was going to drug rehab I called the jail to see what I could get from them. All they could tell us is that yes he was court ordered to rehab couldn’t get out of jail until they found an open bed for him at one. But we do not know if it is for a couple weeks, 30 days, 6 months or a year. They have no idea where he is going to go or when even.

I did find out from my boss that he was on community control when he was here at my house. They turned around ave him drug rehab and two years of probation and community control again. What good that does I don’t know when he was on both and got in trouble for drugs again this time and my friend found they had just signed a VOP warrant for him the night he was here. It looks like they sent him to drug court but still when he was already out on drug charges and got more he shouldn’t get drug court. Then if he goes to rehab and leaves he will be out for who knows how long before they get him back in there and who knows what he may do before they do. Oh and he got time served when he went to court. They gave him 22 days and he been there 22.

My friend is worried that once he gets into rehab he may talk to someone and have them come back and do something or try to do something because he is mad about us calling the police. I honestly don’t know what to think or do. I still haven’t told anyone or Father of the Year.



et cetera
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