{February 3, 2020}   Not Home

I called Bff Saturday night she said she had to go get her leg checked for a blood clot it had been bothering her for days and was worse the last few hours. I said so you need me to take you to the hospital okay let me drop the kids off. We were just leaving the store after being out all day and headed home anyway.

I got them home left and called her. She said she was already on her way there. I told her I could meet her there but she said one of the kids was going with her. She may need me to come pick her up if they found something and kept her. I told her okay I was already out I was going over to JW’s house. Let me know if she needed something or me to come up there.

We were driving and talking I got to his house went and knocked on the door. No one answered. I knocked again the dog started barking. I notice the outside light was off. I said he isn’t home!!

I had just been messaging back and forth with him he was home just got a shower and things. He was talking about his back bothering him from stuff he did at work and all. He wasn’t talking like he was going anywhere and he normally tells me he is thinking about going here or there or going to. So I was confused how he was gone that fast.

We have this thing I send him little eyes looking around here and there. I drive by work or pull up send them. He calls me his stalker. He was the stalker to start with he would be at his friends over here by my house and send me messages I see you and stuff. Its just been a on going joke.

So about the time I am saying to her he isn’t home and noticing the light out my phone says I have a message. I pull it down to look at it and it is the eyes I normally send him. I look around thinking he is sitting back watching me. I figured he walked up to the little store seen my car when he rounded the corner. I don’t see him anywhere when I am looking up and down the street.

I said to her let me call you back. I need to call him. As I said it and hung up I thought he is at his friends house next to mine.

I called, he answered I asked him where he was? He said at his friends house. I laughed and said I’m sitting in your drive way. He said what? You’re at my house? I said yes. He said okay I will be there in about 10 minutes or so. I’m only going to be here about 5 minutes. I have to go in a minute pick something up. I said no it is okay just stay there hang out I will see you another time. He insisted no, he wasn’t staying there he was just there to pick something up he would be right back not to go anywhere.

I ran to the little store got a drink he messaged said he was home I wasn’t there. I told him I was at the store. I went back over and hung out for a while.

He said yep I got over there was like watch this, I’m do her like she does me. Then your car wasn’t there you call say your at my house.

We hung out and went over to the store. I wanted to look at some things and he needed to pick up some stuff. I went home around midnight. I felt bad for not staying home with the kids and Little Bitty but I was going to go with her to the hospital and they were already drinking their milkshakes and going to bed. I figured I would run over there for a little bit. It was already 9 or after.

I don’t know what to do or how to handle things, I am so exhausted. Trying to work, be there for the kids, do everything I need to do and still make time for him and see him or us to have time together. I was already exhausted before he came in the picture, it isn’t his fault. He keeps telling me that things will get better, things will be different once I get moved and when he moves in. He will be able to help or will help more. Help take care of the house and kids. I won’t have to work two jobs and things. I just don’t know. I am not looking for him to move in anytime soon. He is looking at moving soon a lot sooner than I am ready for. He said something the other day about May if he was with me. Meaning staying with me. I just said yeah I think that is going to be a little to soon. He said I told you when you are ready.

When I move I am not putting him on the lease, I am looking for something that I can afford and handle on my own because this is to new and no matter when he moves in it could always end and I could be right back to doing it on my own and have to do it until we decide it is okay for him to move in.

{November 8, 2019}   Shit Talking 101

I told you a while back in my post 34 to 54 and Us in-between about the one driver at my night job trying to take me and the other guy I work with at night out for a drink and to hang out. When he said no he kept asking me. We have been messaging back and forth and talk on the phone once in awhile. But that is it nothing else at all. He keeps trying to get me to go out with him and meet him and “help” him out. We mostly just joke around.

He said to me the other day I know nothing is ever going to happen between us, your just easy to talk to, joke around with and fun to talk to. I’m not trying to offend you or make you made. I said nope don’t make me mad. Takes a lot to get to me or make me made.

So he is always saying stuff and talking shit. I told him the other day all you guys take that same Shit Talking 101 class and think you are the man. You all say the same thing and it gets none of you anywhere. He comes off with class I wrote the book. Blah, blah. I laughed and told him I wouldn’t admit to that. Later I told him, he may want to rewrite that book and do some more research. It comes up here and there I say something about that class. He said something I said you really should just burn the book. He said yeah I think you are right. It has been no help so far.

He said something about getting together maybe if he kept trying one day I would change my mind.

I said you can get in line with the others but it never moves just so you know. I sent him this picture

He says I skipped and jumped ahead I’m first in line. I said first middle last next to the back or front really means nothing when the line never moves.

Another time we were talking and he was saying something and I made a wise crack. He said why do you have to be so mean and cold? Laughed. I sent


He made comments back and then says and as for my balls….um…um. yeah I don’t know what to say to that.


I replied





Last week I posted that I was looking for an office or two, to clean on the weekend. He massaged me a few days later and said he had carpet to put down in his truck and wanted to know if I wanted to clean the truck and help him lay the carpet.

I laughed at him and said oh so is that what you guys are calling it now laying carpet? He said no no really I seen you were looking to make some extra money and I need the truck cleaned. Doors, windows, windshield, shelves, bunk all that. I need the floor cleaned good so I can lay the carpet. I may need help getting it cut and laid down so it don’t take forever. I’m not trying to get you in my truck and do something. I said um hum sure I bet you have some candy too.

He said no we all pretty much keep the same truck we do what we want or with them and have to keep them clean. He said really if you talk to some of the other guys they may pay you to clean theirs out when they get back from their runs. Most don’t feel like it or want to take the time to clean them.

I told him I would have to see I wasn’t sure. That it would depend what time I got off work. it was Friday the kids wait up for me to get off and come home on Fridays since there is no school the next day. I had to go home normal time so they weren’t waiting because my little one gets tired and would fall a sleep.

I told him maybe one other night during the week when I got off since they would already be a sleep and I didn’t have to rush home. He showed up to put the carpet in the truck and show me he really had carpet and wasn’t just saying it and he really needed it cleaned. Earlier when we were messaging about it he asked me how much. I really don’t want to do it because it is late and I am tired after work. I didn’t want to do it being out there and in the truck and things because you know how people talk and I don’t want to have shit started about oh being in his truck or whatever. Even if just joking someone takes it to far and I would go off, say something and who knows where it would go from there.

I told him $25 he said that was steep, I said I don’t know never done anything like that before. He said it is only about 30 minutes worth of work probably. I said I don’t know how much is it worth or what do you think? What were you thinking to pay? He said no I pay it that is alright. I am just thinking it is late, I am doing this during the week after working two full shifts, I’m tired and even if it is only 30 minutes of work is it worth it to me for less than $25? It is a one time thing not full time like if it was an office or what i was looking for. So if he really wants it done and to make it worth it to me to do it when it is harder to do than cleaning an office really at least $25. Because I have to climb up in the truck get around and under everything in a tight space, up and down with supplies buckets of water and things to clean and clean the floor. bending under and around everything. I don’t have all that in an office I’m not bending under and around stuff to clean the fools or under the dash and things in an office. That is all hard on my back and getting all the buckets and things of water up and down. That is like cleaning bathrooms, making beds and that kind of thing that kills my back and I can’t do all the time. That is why offices are easier and I can go in there at 3 am on a Saturday or Sunday or 9 pm. As long as it is clean before they get back Monday. I am not having to do it after a double shift tired and wore out already.  I never did do it he didn’t get a hold of me over the weekend and is back out. I figure he will want to do it when he gets back. Hopefully he forgets it or does it himself.

He is a nice guy but just older than I am looking for and he isn’t looking for anything other than someone to go to dinner with or have drinks with once in a while when he is here and hook up with. I am not looking for that. I’m not looking to get into anything with anyone from work. Friends that is it nothing more.


{June 6, 2018}   Don’t Forget Your Water

{June 4, 2018}   My Pimp’s House

Last night I was talking to Mr. To Broken and he was telling me about his birthday party. His friemd had a cookout at his house for him Saturday night. This is the one he assumed I was going to go with him to and I told him no I was working. He got mad about it.

He told me his friend invited this girl over for him to meet and how they were having a nice conversation. But then her and another friend disappeared about the sametime. He found them on the side of the house messing around. So he was all upset about that and how this always happens to him, no one likes him and there is no one out there for him.

I said well at least you found out how she was from the beginning amd what kind of friend your buddy really is.

I said I was about ready to give up trying to find someone at all. I am tired of everyone just wanting to jump in bed, see where it goes or they been through so much they are to scared and keep everyone at arms length.

He says oh yeah right and you have someone already. I said what do you mean? He said you have a guy or someone to be with, your not alone. I said no I don’t what are you talking about? He said your guy or whatever you call him? I was still confised because O have not told him I was with anyone, talking to anyone or anything. I told him I was interested in someone and had feelings for someone. But that they did not know and that I wasn’t telling them or trying to get into a relationship with anyone right now I need take care of things first. I had no clue what he was talking about still.

The other night when backed into the ditch he called while I was trying to get out waiting on someone to come. I answered told him what happen that I couldn’t talk. Later that night or the next day we talked and something was said about it. I told him and that it been raining I was delivering pizza’s all that. Somewhere in the conversation he says who’s house were you at? Your pimps? I said yes being sarcastic because I already told him. Nothing me or another friend wouldn’t of said to eachother joking around. I didn’t think nothing of it.

So then last night he starts saying this and I am really confused and finally I am like really what are you talking about? He says you got your pimp or whatever he is. Now I am really thinking what the hell. I ask him why he would say that? He said that’s who’s house you said you were out when you got stuck in the ditch. I said that was a joke I already told you I was deliverying pizza’s. He says yeah right okay. He didn’t act like he belived me I was lying. I said 3 cops were there, boss from pizza place was there, bff amd her husband was there ask any of them. Yeah okay say what you want he says or something like that. You said the other day…..I said look you ask a smartass question your going to get a smartass answer. I got to go click he hung up on me. He hasn’t called or messaged me since.

I was kind of mad I messaged him he was on line I asked why he hung up on me? I said a Pimp really? Wow. He never looked at it until this morning and still has not responded.

What I mean you can’t say anything to him at all joking or anything. He takes it as truth even when you tell him the truth. So even if I wanted to ask him he probably say no or not respond. I can not believe he really thinks that after I already told him what I was doing.

{May 30, 2018}   Borrowing The Car

Boy gets his permit and ask dad if he can have the keys to the car. Father said you have to get your grades up read your bible more and cut your hair. Then you can use the car. few weeks later the boy comes back and says I did what you said can i use the car? Fathers says you pulled your grades up and you are reading your bible more but you still haven’t cut your hair. Son says well dad I been thinking about it and moses, samson and even Jesus all had long hair in the bible father says to the son yes son they sure did and they walked every where they went too.

I got to work late today because it was just a drag ass kind of day. We had our first really cold night/morning my drier didn’t want to work and the kids missed their ride. Then we got to school and had to come home for stuff that was forgot. I got to work, clocked in and then went through and pulled up all my sites and places that I needed to pull up in order to do my job. There are about 6 or more and each one has a log in name and password and each one is different or slightly different than the others. Half of them I had to try and try to log in because the system gets so bogged down I think that it just kicks it back and says it is wrong. As soon as I logged on the phone and put myself in to get calls I heard them calling my name. I went to see why, they told me to put my phone on training and go down to the conference room and tell them I just got there. I said I been here for about 45 minutes or more I didn’t just get here. They well just go down there. I go in there and there is already about 25 people or more in there. There is no where to sit the room is freezing and there is this guy standing in the front at this screen talking about this and that. One guy got up said he was going on break. I said I am going to sit here until you get back then you can have your seat back and sat down. the guy who is supposed to be training says I have this or that to do I will be back in a few minutes. We all start talking and everyone is talking about how this is crazy we have no where to sit they keep stopping we are sitting her looking at the wall and talking to each other like the other training class. Then these people are telling us how they got there at 7 am, they came in over the weekend for training and they were in training Friday. They said they called them and told them to come in or asked them to come in. It’s 10 we just got into this class. He comes back in starts telling us about a few other things. I stopped him asked a question he half ass answered it. Before I could say anything someone else asked him about it and to explain it more. He says well that isn’t really what we are here to learn just raise your hand when your on the phone and ask them about that later. Then goes on, someone stopped ask about something else and where to find what he was showing us and telling us to use. Again we were told we weren’t covering that we didn’t have time just raise our hand when we were on the floor and had a call. Someone stopped him and ask about what he was explaining to us and how that was and what about this or that. He stands there looking completely stupid and then says well we don’t have time to go over that we will come back to that later we need to get through this and have to move on. Um what are you teaching us if we are telling you we have questions and we don’t understand what you are talking about because that isn’t what we were told? Isn’t this training and don’t you want us to learn what you are teaching us why we are here?  He then says everyone go on your first 15 minute break. We are all standing around talking about this and how they just spring all this on us others have been here for days going over this stuff others hours before us and we all are expected to take this test and pass in a little bit. We go back in he tells us a few more things turns the “class” over to two other people that are agents on the phone like the rest of us and says I have to go for about 20 minutes so they are going to go over the stuff we did and try to explain it some to you all. Then in walks another girl and she is up there trying to help them out. We are asking her this stuff we been asking and asking about this test and she is asking us questions that are like the ones that are supposed to be on the test. We are saying that isn’t what we were told the answer was, this isn’t what they showed us to do, that isn’t how they are telling us out there to do this. We didn’t learn that, we didn’t learn to do it like that. This other girl that came in after he left to help these other two out says you all pasted this test and this test the last thing you did before you came out to the floor you have to know some of this and should know this stuff. You all shouldn’t have all these questions you passed the test or you wouldn’t be out on the floor. I was mad at this point. I said you want to know how we past the test? I was locked out of the system for a week straight. Everyone else had a 3 or 4 days maybe more to work on all that training and do them test. I was logged in on Monday under someone else information told to do the training on my own and then to take the test. I said I did one test on Monday and when I walked in on Tuesday I was told this had to be done today and to hurry up get through the work and get the test done. I said and then they told us do the test but don’t turn it in on the computer, let us look at it first. I said then they came over looked at every question and would say number such and such are you sure that is the answer you want to put for that and then say think about this or that I don’t know if that is right either until you picked the answer they felt was right. I said so that is how we past the test and got on the floor. I said as far as the rest of this stuff when your locked out and can’t do anything them coming over clicking here there and where ever between a bunch of sites and pages why you are in the middle of a phone call isn’t training or giving us a chance to learn the system and understand what they are doing or even have an idea of what they are doing or where they are supposed to go to do what. So no why you sit here and say we had training and passed this test or that test no we really didn’t so it isn’t our fault that we do not know this stuff and when we were in training we spent about 48 hours (a week) or more sitting there looking at the walls roof or what ever and talking to each other about whatever because no one was showing us and teaching or training us on anything. Everyone was like yes she is right and everything she is saying is true and the training wasn’t done right blah blah. She did not like it at all when I got done and then started back peddling and saying well instead of sitting here talking about how bad training was and what they didn’t do lets just move on and get this done and something else. After that she never asked me nothing talked to me or even acted like I was in the room. Me and the other guy were talking to some of them after we took the test and he said no one will come help me when I am on the phone or talk to me or even look at me most the time now because they know I haven’t been pain at all in a month. I said yep me to, they avoid me and will not say anything to me or walk past me. The other lady said you all need to call a lawyer. I said oh I plan on it tomorrow. I am going to call a lawyer the news medicare blue cross of Minnesota and everyone else I can think of to call and get something done about this and take care of it. 4:30 rolled around I said I got to go. Someone said you have a break to take? I said nope somewhere to take my son I got to go home. They started to say something, I said not like I am getting paid to be here anyway so it shouldn’t matter. They were like oh yeah that is true. The lady doing the class and another one was sitting right there a few seats away from me and I seen one look up and start to say something and when I said something about getting paid she looked down and never said anything.  I don’t even know if I passed my test or not. They couldn’t decide on the right answer for a few of them and was complaining that so many missed a lot of them and that everyone was missing different stuff not like we were missing the same things. I don’t care I am just there hoping to get paid if I show up a few days this week so that I can cover bills. I am applying for other jobs the days I am not there and starting my hours for school as well. I am not letting my schooling go this close to being done with two certificates. Oh and before it was over we had over 30 people shoved in this room half without chairs to sit in standing around getting tripped over and everything else doing this so called training. While half of them are sitting around talking about something that has nothing to do with what we are doing he is standing up there talking about stuff no one can hear him and everything else before he left. When he left and said he be back in 25 minutes or whatever it was he never came back he left it to someone else. He finally came in got half the people and took them to test. When our group took the test half of us had come in between 8 and 9 the others came at 12 11 or 10. By 245 we had taken both test and were waiting for our grades. But we were trained. Even the ones that got there later were saying wait what we have to take the test and we just got here. We were like wait we have only had bits and pieces of training because every time we come in we are sent on another break and then half of the people are still in there going on with training we leave come back in the middle of something different then we sent out again and miss stuff come back to something else different. They are out when we are in no one got all the training. I am contacting blue cross telling them all this.

{August 30, 2016}   Your Probably A….

If you have went through the little store grabbing things to pack your kids lunch, and trying to make it look healthy and not snatched up in a mad rush at the little store….Your probably a college mom

If you have sat 14.5 hours straight doing school work that is due that night and the next morning, because you had, puking, shitting, feverish kids all week…….Your probably a college mom

If you over sleep and your kids are a half hour and a hour late for school because you were doing homework for 14.5 hours……Your probably a college mom

Oh and if your texting your best friend at 12 am praying that they are working so they can bring you a cold 2 liter of Coke because not only have you been doing homework for hours straight but also drinking kool–aid for the last two days……You might be a college mom

{February 8, 2015}   Childish Shit

I was just looking at things on here about my top read post for the week and all that. I see that Free Whiny Children was one of the top read for the week so far. I thought without missing a beat it’s a good thing father of the year don’t know about my page or read it. Only a very very small few of my friends know about it no family. This is my place to come and write say what I want write about what I want and not have everyone’s two cents or everyone getting offended for whatever reason.

Anyway a facebook post from a few years ago came to mind. My little guy was about a year and a half two years old and he was being more than a handful this day. He let the dog out, broke something he been told not to touch, wasted stuff he wasn’t supposed to be into and I don’t know what all. Just in general being very destructive and disobeying. Letting the dog out alone cost me around $55. I put them to bed and was trying to relax and just couldn’t get over how bad he had been that day and all the stuff he gotten in and messed up or wasted. I posted to vent and joking along the lines of…………………………………….

This boy has been a handful/terror today between letting the dog out and the stuff he played in broke I think I am up to about $100 if it all had to be paid for again or replaced. I think I will just sell him for what he has messed up and then I won’t have to worry about him braking more or being a handful either. Any one want a extra kids for a low price of $100?

I was just venting, and being sarcastic. Joking around and of course didn’t mean anything by it. There is no one on my page other than friends and family not like every Tom, Dick, and Harry was going to see it and send me messages trying to “buy” my kid.

Well some bitch because that is all they really are if they are run back and say something just trying to cause problems. Told father of the year what I said on my page and blew it way out of proportion and made it into something it wasn’t. He in turn starts telling everyone how I am trying to sell my child on line and get rid of him. Then he says to me your really talking about or trying to sell said child on line? Not really wanting to know the true nature of the post or anything just to let me know I had said something along those lines. That it got back to him mostly.

I can’t stand people who do that shit and play sides. Either you really are out of it and can spend time talk to either side without bring the other one and what is going on into it or you can’t. Don’t play nice nice with me to just try to get dirt to start shit. I will forget you are even alive, block you and not speak to you again. I there are a few that I have blocked and when see them out in public I act as if they are not there walk by like I don’t see or hear them. You can say and do a lot but there are lines you don’t cross and when you cross that line and involve my kids in it. When you take something make it into something it isn’t even close to being then I have no use for you. I do not feel I can even say hi to you because who knows what you will try to twist that into.

I just found it funny how a simple vent blowing off some frustration and joking around like any parent dose when they have had a trying day with their kids. Turned in to me selling my kids on the black market. Because that is what they were implying. That I was a horrible mom because you know no ones kids give them a hard time and if they do we still just smile and everything is just sunshine and rainbows. God for bid we vent a little. I rather vent say something sarcastic and get it out then bottle it up inside and then blow up on my kid the next time he dose something.

Because he is just a kid and he is just doing kid things. But sometimes kid things are frustrating. Like my little bitty right now going through this take the diaper off and throw it a way every few minutes so she can run around naked until I catch her and put a new one on. And most the time peeing in the floor because she can’t hold it and get to the potty yet.

I am sure if he seen my above post I would be back at it again this time not selling just one nut three of the 4. Because some people are just childish and have nothing better to do with their life.

{December 13, 2013}   Two Pair Of Underwear

My Big Boy ( 8 yrs old now) comes home from school Monday and shoots straight up stairs and into the bathroom. I thought it was odd because we have a bathroom under the stairs and no one was in it. I even said to my mom why did he go up there. She said she thought it was odd too. In a few minutes I am standing at the foot of the stairs sweeping and he comes walking down. Before I could say anything he looks and me and says just as serious as could be. Good thing I wore two pair of underwear to school today in case someone tried to steal one. I wasn’t sure I heard him right I was sure I had to of heard him wrong. He was moving his hand around as he talked. I asked him what he said, he said it again with out cracking a smile or nothing. I laughed so hard I cried. I guess he got up and put on the clean underwear I left with his clothes and half a sleep forgot to take his others off.

et cetera
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