Single___Parent___Life











{January 10, 2020}   Court Round 2 Finally

I have been looking at the clerk’s site and child support enforcement to see when my court date is since they posted last week that they were sending a date in the mail. They have not updated them. That isn’t normal because the clerks site is updated daily and a few times a day most the time. Anytime something is done someone is updating it.

I contacted child support yesterday evening before I left to go to my other job when I could finally get through. They said that my court date is Feb the 26th at 8:30 am. I am dreading going, I have been since I seen it said they had set one and sent the letter. I hate the way I felt when I seen father of the Year last year. I don’t want to feel that way again. Bff says she will go with me but she said that last time too and didn’t. I am thinking about asking my friend I have been hanging out with if he would go with me. He knows it is coming up and that I am dreading going. I told him how it was last time.

I also asked them to check on the case with R.C because that was done back in October and they have done nothing with it since then. They said they are not sure why something wasn’t done they are waiting on a court date. She said she is going to send a paper over to the lawyer or courts and have the look into it. So hopefully they will get that going and we will go with in the next month or so as well.

Father of the year is over $3900 behind I don’t know who will give him that much money to get him out of it this time. As much as it would be nice to have the money I kind of would like to see him do some time for it this time. Maybe he will see that if he don’t pay it this will really happen. The threat wasn’t enough to make him keep paying. He figures oh well I will just borrow the money or what once it gets to that point. But maybe if he had to do time because he couldn’t get it then he would think hay maybe I should just pay it before it gets so out of hand and I can’t get the money. Probably not but wishful thinking. If he is borrowing this from his boss and his boss is taking it back weekly out of his pay check then it is taking weeks, well months to pay back. What is the difference if he just pays it to me every week and it not get so far behind and his kids have what they need. Would be much easier than not paying it, having to go to court, scramble for the money and risk going to jail or going and having to spend who knows how much time there and now risk losing your job and house and everything you have had given to you. Because we all know he didn’t get it on his own or work to get it. His boss gave him everything and now hopes he works enough to at least pay him every week.

I am going to bring that up to the judge as well why we are in court. I’m going to say to her, can I say something?When she says yes I am going to say I want to ask him some questions. He says he is working he just isn’t paying weekly like he is supposed to. He says he don’t have it to pay and don’t have the $3900 to give today. I would like to know where he is going to get the money from? Assuming he is going to have to borrow it or try to borrow it he is going to then have that to pay back weekly. How does he pay it back weekly once he gets to this point but then says that when he isn’t paying on it he can’t afford to pay me? What is the difference if it comes out and goes to someone else to borrow what he pays me when he gets to this point vs him just paying me weekly and not getting to this point and having to not only now need to pay me but also have to pay that back weekly or monthly?

I am going to also ask if we can’t get this back in court like after him missing two weeks or a months of payments not a year just about. I am going to point out the fact that he is working he admits to working and just not paying it, but that he pays it once they pull him in there and make him so he has the means, can and will just won’t. I hope it all goes well.



Yesterday I took my 7 year old to the er because he had a really bad tooth and they could not get him in anywhere else. I was worried about infection and wanted to get treatment for it right away because he was in a lot of pain. Pain meds were not working. We were not sleeping and he was up most the night.

Shortly after we got there oldest messages me and said that she went to the laoundry room to put something out there. She said she felt something on her foot looked down and it was a big snake and it lunged at her. She ran inside. She said she didn’t know how long he was but that he was thick around.

I told her to call animal control tell them and see if they would send someone. She did and they said they would and took her information. Hour or so later she tells me they never came and she called back they were closed.

When I got home I looked around the door but didn’t see anything. I had dinner done other things and about had myself convinced it found its way out the door she left open. I was going to go put a load of clothes in the washer. About that time I had a text asking if the snake was still there? I ask who it was because it wasn’t a number I knew or in my phone. Then oldest tells me they put an ad online to see if someone would get it out.

This guy called me said he was about 40 miles a way busy he was going to go call his buddy. His buddy wouldn’t come it was late and raining. He said he was going to pack up and come hisself. I ask how much he was going to charge me. He said I asume your a single mom? I said yes. He said I just come take care of it don’t worry. He came and walked out there to the room and shined his light around the water heater and there it was curled up under it. Right where we figured he be if he was still there. But I was not going in to see.

He told me come over there shined the light over there and you could see the head. You could tell he was big. He had this thing to reach and grab it. He reach in to grab it and it started moving. He tried to grab it again and it got away. I look he was outside the room next to me almost. I screamed ran through the carport onto the front porch and stood on one of the chairs. As I ran i seen him trying to grab it and and it coming around after him. Then going into the dog pin.

He thought it went in the back room but I knew be didn’t. We waited a while it never came back. He said if it came back to call him he try to get it again. It was 4/5 ft. Long and, an inch and a half to two around. I have seen some snakes but I have never seen one in the wild that size. Makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

The kids better keep the door to that room closed and that thing better stay out of there. I had my guns i would of shot it right there last night. I do not do snakes ya’ll.

The guy who came to get the snake had to be in his, late 50’s early 60’s probably. After it gets away I tell him let me get him some gas money at least for coming he says no. He starts asking me how I get by being a single mom? Do I ever go out? We should go to lunch some time i can buy lunch don’t worry about paying him. This morning he text ask if it came back? I said no he said good. Then he said we need to get together go to lunch one day. I did not reply to that I had stuff to do just left it.

Monday was Sleeping Beauties birthday. I messaged him when I woke up

He said thank you. We talked a bit. Later I messaged him and ask how his day was? He said good he didn’t do anything just worked. I told him about the snake and oldest calling me. What she said happen and things. He was surprised.

I said…Now i have to figure out how get it out or if/when it leaves. I do not do snakes. I will pack and leave.

He said Wish i would of knew this before i left. Meaning before he left from work and went home. He is about 30 or more miles north of me. Why he wants to rent my room to be closer to work.

He said he didn’t get off until 6. I was surprised he said he wish he knew and was going to come over. I jokingly said to my little one at the hospital I should call him tell him happy bday I got you a snake come catch it we wers laughing.

Later I said how do I have a 9th grader? I feel old he said I was old. I just laughed and agreed. I may not be but I feel it.

So that was my eventful Monday. I swear I feel like a 3 ring Circus with an extra 3 rings I couldn’t make this crap up if I wanted to kind of things.



{April 16, 2017}   Happy Easter

Hope everyone is having a good day with friends and family. I guess we will be going to eat and to the park with my sister, her family my mom and Father of the Year. Then we are going to go to the part hide eggs and give my niece her birthday gift and my little one her other gift. We were going do cake and stuff but where we are going to eat is going to have all that stuff so I am not getting another one. They both had cake on their day so it be okay.

I am feeling a little better from last night, my mind finally stopped and let me go to sleep. Probably those couple drinks I had when I was out last night. But I have been thinking about it again today. Trying not to but feeling lonely on top of everything don’t help things any. Not looking forward to seeing my mom and Father of the Year but I want to see my sister and her family and the kids want to see my mom.

Guess I should get off here get dressed we should be leaving in just a little bit and I haven’t gotten dressed yet or anything. Not that I have to do more than that really. Clothes been washing and drying so couldn’t. Got get the kids rounded up make sure everyone is showered and dressed.



{March 31, 2017}   Very draining Day

Just wanted to say I never use a persons real name when posting.

Today was my day to help at the older kids school and it started out in a crazy rush to get there. I woke the kids up at 7 as always and then I fell back to sleep because I had not went to sleep until after 3. I get up between 745 and 815 depending on what I have to do that day. Something woke me up at around 8 or a little after this morning I called the kids to see what they were doing and they were sleeping. They had not dried their clothes or anything else. We were a couple minutes late but not much. The teacher and one of the other parents were out front talking still. I walked up talked with them for a bit, she left we went inside. We did the morning pledge and thing got the kids caught up on the field trip tomorrow what we were going to be doing and the rules. They got to work I started working on writing the stuff on the back of the rocks they painted the other day. I don’t know if you all have a group around you but it is such and such county rocks. whoever wants to paints rocks then hides them around town for people to fine. We are going to put some in our down town area and take some on our field trip tomorrow. The kids painted them Tuesday and we were going to write the stuff on the back and then seal them. Well most the rocks were black so I had to paint over them with white paint then write on them. I finished painting and was in the middle of writing on them when we had a problem with one of the students that snow balled into a 3 hour or more ordeal.

The teacher walked by ask her to sit in the chair properly and put her legs down. It’s a girl in a dress siting across from a boy with her legs up in the air and all. She started she was sitting right and she wasn’t doing anything wrong and started to go into a melt down. She told her lets go in the other room and talk about it not where everyone is doing work, test ad studying. I started to go with her but I can see in the other room and hear if something happens. They have three class rooms all in a row that have a door in between and a window in between two of them as well. The teacher came back out and sat down and said now she has locked herself in the bathroom and won’t come out. The bathroom is in this little hall like area between the 2nd and 3 rd room. There is a counter on one side where the teachers have their coffee pot and microwave the other side is the bathroom. As soon as she said it I just had this thought and this feeling go over my whole body that she was going to do something I felt she may try to do something to someone or herself but I knew there was nothing in the bathroom she could do anything to herself with. I figured she stopped the toilet up and have it running over everywhere.

The teacher said I am going to give her 5 minutes to get herself together and come out. In a few minutes the kids started saying what was that? Then we hear her yelling or screaming. She got up and went to go in there I got up and went with her. I figured she probably should have a witness being she has to open this bathroom door and go in and still trying to talk to her and get her out. This is a newer child, and she puts me in mind of the type that would say someone done this or that to her and/or to just start swinging if the right mood hit. She knocked a few times she wouldn’t say anything wasn’t making a sound at all. She told her she was going to open the door if she did not come out. She still didn’t say anything so she open the door. The girl got up against it was trying to push it shut and hold it shut so she could’t get in. We talked to her a few minutes told her lets sit talk but she had to come out of the bathroom. She screaming yelling leave her a lone. She told her we were going to be calling grandma if she didn’t come out this went on long enough. She didn’t care she wasn’t coming out. Teacher ask me to go get her binder with phone numbers in it so she could call mom or grandma. The girl molly let go over the door a little like she was going to come out or let her open then turned right back around and slammed it, slamming it into the teacher and slamming the teacher Mrs. C’s back into the door frame. She is having trouble with her back already. I went got the book with numbers we went and called grandma. She said she wasn’t far she be there fast as she could.

We were standing there in the third room talking and she open the door looked around and when she seen us she went back in locked the door. Now we have kids that need to use the bathroom because this has been going on for about 35 minutes or so and it is the only bathroom we have. we open the door again she is sitting back on the toilet with it open and her clothes on. We just told her not to do that when the door was open the first time she was going to get her dress wet. We open it this time she says my dress fell in there and go wet. We said we told you that was going to happen, grandma is coming to take you home anyway but you need to come out others need to use the bathroom. No leave me alone screaming and yelling. At this point Mrs. C has the door open all the way leaning on it with her back against it and her heel on it to keep her from closing it again. She started trying to shove it closed over her she told her she was hurting her she say oh sorry, I didn’t mean to. Then do it agian, she said yes you mean to or you would not keep doing it then say sorry, you know if you do it, it is going to hurt she has told you three times. She starts yelling shut up you know your lying you can’t read my mind you don’t know if I am doing it or not.

We ended up sending one of the older boys with the other to take him to one of the churches bathrooms because we could’t get her to come out and we didn’t want to leave either of us there alone with her. In a minute she stood up walked out into the middle room. I was in a funny position the way we ended up standing there. I think I had walked away int that room but close where I could see and hear what was going on to talk to one of the kids. she came out. The teacher was right there behind if she turned to go back into the bathroom she have to get around her to get in there. I seen her looking I knew she was about to bold not to the bathroom but out the door. I looked at Mrs. C behind her back and said I said she looking to leave, as I was saying she is she bolted into the class where the kids were and out the door. I went after her and Mrs. C ran out the door she was next to. By the time we got to the grass and parking lot maybe three to five foot out the door grandma was there. She came walking up to us. Molly kept going she was telling her just get in the van they would go home and things she just kept going. She ran almost to the end of the little side street in front of the church. Grandma was still calling her telling her not to do this come back they could go home. Well there is a little wall there and she jumped over the wall and headed to the busy road in front of the church. I knew I couldn’t get to her going straight down and across like she did so I went to the side where I was standing to get up to the road to see where she was going and where she was at even if I wasn’t close to her. She was about half block or less away from me. She was standing on the corner looking at the cars flying by. I was calling her she was ignoring me. She ripped her shoes off and tossed them down and started lunging toward the road and the cars that were coming. I have ran across the yard at the church and now I am running down the parking lot on the side of this busy road. I was trying to call 911 why I was trying to run then trying to stop traffic on this busy road cars flying by because she is trying to run out in the road with car coming at her. I shoved my phone back in my pocket because I could’t look at dialing it, trying to stop traffic and trying to watch her all at the same time. I felt they needed to be called but in order for me to keep me and her as safe as I could and do everything I could to keep her safe I needed to focus on me and her and figured someone was calling the police.

I am trying to stop the traffic and they just ignore me and fly right on by. I am hollering for her to not go in the road to get back and she keeps acting like she is about to run in the road at any second. I stepped out in the middle of the road so traffic would hopefully stop and it did. But I could not see traffic coming from the other direction up by where she was because it was around a bin. I couldn’t stop them because they would have to pass her or be on top of her before they would see me. She looked seen there was no traffic coming I had stopped it and thank God there was none coming at that time her direction she took off running down the street again. I got on the sidewalk and went after her trying to at least just get caught up to her see where she was going so we didn’t lose her. Mrs. C couldn’t follow because we could’t leave the kids in class alone. I have no idea where grandma was because I figured when I stopped traffic grandma would be there in a minute maybe she could grab her or something she never came. she got ahead of me because we ere so far apart she rounded a corner and went down another little side street. I got to the corner there and I seen grandma in the van pulled up by her talking to her she wasn’t running or anything she was walking so I didn’t go any closer I figured she calming down she is talking to grandma she isn’t running I am don’t want to get closer and make her mad or upset her make her run again. I figured she get in they would come back around to the school, I turned around and walked back the way we came back to the school. As I was running by the corner where she tossed her shoes and left them a lady from one of the offices says those are her shoes as I ran by them. I knew they were she just seen everything that happen me trying to get her to stay out of the road and things. Did I really look like I had time to stop and make sure her shoes got picked up and weren’t in the road? I said yeah I don’t care about her shoes right now I have to get her before she hurts herself or gets lost as I ran by her. I was really annoyed that she even said it to me. I shouldn’t have been but it was just the stress of the moment and she meant well I am sure too. I went back by and they had picked them up out of the road and sat them on the sidewalk outside their business there so they would be seen. I picked them up and tried the door but they were locked. I went to go on back to the school and a lady came out. I said I am sorry I wasn’t trying to be rude we just have a situation with a student I am trying to make sure she is safe and things. She said no I understand was telling me she knew we were over there and they use to see us walk the kids down to the library all the time and the park last year and things she thought it was such a nice school. How good it seemed for the kids. I said yeah it really is we have a good group of kids but when you have kids like ours and sometimes things happen. I got back the school the teacher was all upset I was I felt like I was able to calm down stop worrying everything was okay then she asked me where they were and mom was there. I told her they were a couple streets over I thought grandma had her it seem like she was calming down. Mom drove over to them. We waited no one came back I went drove around about three streets sign of them. I think I missed them they took a side street they are at school. I get back there ask her she said no didn’t you find them? I said no I they are no where to be seen I thought they came back here. She said no. She tried to call mom she didn’t answer she tried a few times the last time she told her we had to report it to the police because we did not know if they had her or not if they did not call back in 5 minutes we had to report it because it had been so long no one came back to talk with us or anything. They didn’t call back. We called the police told them we had a student run from campus and that mom and grandma where looking for her but that we didn’t know now if they had her like we thought because no one would call us back or came back to take care of things. They ask the school name and address and said that the police were with grandma. I guess they didn’t have her either. They were still trying to get her or find her.

They sent a cop over to talk to use ask if she hurt anyone she said yes she hit her with the door and hurt her. They asked if she had threaten to hurt herself we told him no she didn’t say she was going to, but that when she ran she went straight for the road and what she had done and that once there were not cars coming at her or around then she went on running but before that she taken off her shoes and was going toward the road and acting as if she was going to go out in front of the cars until I had stopped the cars. He said that’s enough for me thank you and left. I said that’s odd they didn’t ask us to fill out reports or nothing. The kids all seen the cop come up and was already asking where she was when we came back in without her. All we could tell them was that the police were with grandma and they were trying to get her and give her the help she needed that they would let us know something in a little bit. Our one poor boy he is about 15 I think was so upset and sick. I felt so bad for him he was saying my day was going so good it was just going so good then this happen and I jut don’t feel good and I need to do something I didn’t know what to tell him to do or how to help him. I said draw, read, work on work, whatever you want to do here in the class is fine what will help you feel better? He said I don’t know I am sure you can think of something. I finally came him paper and told him get whatever he wanted to draw with and draw. He went back and put his head down for a while.

In a little bit Mollies mom came back to the door and said that the cops were back out front they wanted to talk to her to fill out the report and hopefully baker act her. She said I don’t know they said I can take her or they could or I could take her home, she said I can’t take her home like this she already ran on them yesterday or the day before. She said I don’t know what good taking her home will do. Mrs. C told her I be the one that needed to talk to the cop because I was the one that had the information that would let them backer act her because I was the one to go after her and things. We went out the cop ask me what happen I told him he asked if I felt she was trying to harm herself or take her life. I said yes I did because she kept lunging like she was just waiting for the right time to jump out in the middle of the street. She told them she just wanted to cross the street she was tying to go somewhere on that side. I said no sir she didn’t just want to cross the street, I said if that was the case and she wanted over there so bad why didn’t she then cross when I stopped traffic and she was standing there? I said once I stopped traffic and there were no cars coming she wasn’t interested in that street no more she headed for the other one. He said okay if you feel that’s what she was trying to do and that she was about to run in front of a car you will have to give me a sworn statement and write out a detailed report of what happen so I can take her or I have to give her back to mom. I said that is no problem at all I can do that if it means her getting help she needs. He gave it to me and I wrote it out and everything for him. He then wanted my idea and I gave him that and they went on. He told mom that he was taking her straight to the in patient hospital down south of us to go down in an hour or two and talk to them it would take him time to get her there and them to book her or whatever they want to call it and get her admitted.

They said she has been getting worse and worse at school and they have been having more and more problems from her at home as well. That they changed her medications and it don’t seem to be helping and things only seem to be getting worse. Mom said she didn’t know if she would be back once she got out or what they would be doing with her at that point. Mrs. C talked to the principal of the school finally after it was all over and she said she would be sending her a letter letting her know that she could not come back. She said they have had a lot of behavioral problems out of her prier to this as well and that they are not a school for kids with behavioral problems. The fact that she hit the teacher with the door and she ran was enough with everything else that has been going on to say she couldn’t let her come back. She said she is worried about others safety as well if she would do that wit the teacher. I kind of feel bad for her and think maybe they are jumping to soon to say she can’t come back at all but then at the same time I don’t know. Because part of it is the I’m spoiled I am going to do it just because I can and you can’t do anything about it or everyone look at me I am going to throw a fit because someone said something to me. Mom even said some of it she thinks she is just doing as well. Then some she can’t control. Maybe finding a school that deals with problem kids would be better for now for her.

I don’t know when the last time I ran so far, so fast, and in the heat. My head was pounding, my chest was burning and my heart was hurting. Here they started construction on the church today so there are these workers all out there watching, the people from the office across the street and the poor new people right on the corner we all drive by watching this. I almost fell down in the grass coming across the yard of the church trying to head her off and meet her on the road to make sure she didn’t’ get hit. This wasn’t just something that happen it was a big blow up but was under control in a few minutes the day went on. This all took place over a 3 hour or more time frame. The kids have lunch at like 1130 and it started about 30 minutes or more before that. We were not done dealing with it until just about two.

I guess when I decided to go back to the school just let grandma talk to her figured she could deal with her better without us involved she darted to the big main high way then back and forth up and down the side street and ended up back up to the road me and her was on and grandma had same kind of experience I did with her. She ended up calling 911 at that point.

After mom got her things and everyone left Mrs. C told the kids to clean up and they were going to start working. I said you may as well just let them play or something there is only an hour of school left and they are not going to be focused on work after everything that just went on. I said it ins’t like they are going to miss much anyway any no one here’s parents going to complain because their kid. She said yeah I am glad you said that I am still not with it they can just have move time until time to go home. So that is what we done popped in a move for them and tried to calm down and relax ourselves.



I was sitting here finishing up getting my new project set up and getting ready to take a quiz for school when my phone went off. It was my friend texting me, seeing what was up how things were going. I told him I got a fish tank and was just finishing setting it up and we chatted a little bit about that. He asked if I knew anyone who was looking for a roommate he was looking for a place for a little bit. He is trying to get some things taken care of so he can get a lawyer to get things straight with his little girl before he loses her again and can’t see her and to get his truck on the road. I told him he needed to find a roommate that would move in with him and just tell them it was temp he would give them a month or two notice and not just put them out. We were talking about money and things. I said I knew it wasn’t easy doing it all on your own. That I had to take loans and even pawned my truck at one point to make bills. He asked about Father of the year and wasn’t he around? I told him he was around but wasn’t paying or helping with anything.

In a little bit he wrote back and said if I had a real man I wouldn’t have these problems. I said yeah but they seem to be very few and far between these days. He didn’t say anything for a long time after that. I was starting to wonder if he thought I was grouping him in there too. In a few minutes he wrote back and said there are some real ones left out there take me for example and winked. I said yes a few and I count you as one. When it comes down to it he really is, he has his flaws but who of us don’t? Again I didn’t hear back for a while I was really starting to think he was falling a sleep because of how late it was getting and he has to be up early for work. In a while I got another text.

It said, I think your a good women also. I wouldn’t mind making you mine, I have thought about it many times only a couple things hold me up though.

To say I was shocked or surprised is an understatement to say the least. I though that ship sailed years ago before me and RC ever got together. He is the one that I was hanging out with that just wanted to be friends and we did whatever we decided to do but that was that. Then called me Christmas eve and wanted me to come over and told me that he knew he said he just wanted to be friends but wasn’t looking for more but. We never really talked about things after that night. We talked a few times just hey how are you whats up or whatever. We were supposed to get together and we both had stuff going on. Then one day I was trying to get a hold of him to ask him something and he snapped and said something and I got really pissed off and let him have it for saying what he did. Well I was also having a bad day and said things I really shouldn’t have took things out on him as he did me that had nothing to do with him. After that we did not talk for a while. I wasn’t worried about it we were friends if we still were that was fine if not that was fine too. We weren’t together I just left him alone and figured whatever happen with our friendship would just happen. After me and RC had been together a little bit and I moved in with him he sent me a message and said I seemed to be a lot happier than he had seen me in a while and that he was glad  I had found someone. We messaged a few times after that here and there again hey how are you or whats up and have talked more since everything happen with me and RC. I have been over to see him a few times we talked but that’s it really and what happen before was never brought up again after that.

When I got that message back after we were just pretty much talking about this and that I had no idea what to say back. I just said what’s that to his there are a few things holding him back. He said one was Father of the year being so close, two he wanted another kid and didn’t know if I could still or how I felt about that. The third he said might be petty but it was kind of a big deal to him but he didn’t know if we shared the same sexual appetite. He said there’s nothing wrong with those things exactly. They didn’t make him dislike me, but they did hold him up from trying to build anything more than us being friends.

I started with number one because it didn’t surprise me really since we were living together for long and he comes around all the time. But like I told him we are not together have not been for a very long time and will not be ever again. That is done and over. It was because I was trying to figure out a way and get out. That I have been trying to get my divorce but couldn’t because he was threatening me with the kids and taking them. That his family would get him a lawyer and he would pretty much get what he wanted. I told him that the judge told me pretty much not to come back without a lawyer and to get one or go to mediation. That I had put up with a lot of bullshit and abuse while trying to get things in order and get away from him but that I didn’t leave before because I didn’t want to be moving from place to place all the time and homeless because I couldn’t afford places either. That the judge put me in a really bad situation by not granting my divorce and I wasn’t happy about that either and if he had granted it I wouldn’t have been able to do something a lot sooner. That I wasn’t risking going to court and losing my kids because he had a lawyer and I didn’t. That with Father of the year not doing anything to help provide anything for them at all and never seeing anything from RC I had to be able to do it on my own and know that I could before I just jumped. I jumped before and look where it got me.

Then I told him as far as sex I was pretty open, I was just more comfortable when I am in a relationship with someone. I told him honestly he was the only I had been with that I wasn’t in a relationship with and that I was dealing with things I through that I didn’t even relies was an issue an not things I cared to get into in text. But that it had nothing to do with him.

He said maybe we could get together and talk sometime it was a lot to text. I had started to say that after I said what I did about Father of the Year but didn’t. I told him that sounded like I good idea. I knew it was late but had not idea how late it really was. It was after midnight. He said he needed to get some sleep he would get a hold of me today. I didn’t hear from him but I have been so busy with school and things I didn’t really have time to talk and figured he was busy too.

A KID??? What? Really? I think that just blew my mind. I never would have imagine him wanting to have another kid. With his oldest being almost 18 and her being out of state and then the way things turned out with this ones mom and always going back and forth with them. I can see just by that, that there will not be more than just friends between us. I do not want more kids, that chapter of my life is over. I wouldn’t mind adopting and or doing foster care. But more of my own no. I don’t think that those are options that he is going to want. But that’s ok, I am happy with just friends. I need to finish this divorce which I am supposed to be going and filing the papers for again tomorrow and to get school done. I pretty much decided along time ago that I probably won’t really end up meeting anyone and really try having a relationship until I get moved. I would like one but right now I need to take this time and take care of things first like I put off the last two times only to end up where I am now. If I had taken care of things first with school I may not have ended up in the situation I am in now. If I had I would be better off because I would have school over and a job. But I would like to date maybe until then. That won’t be him either but I enjoy our friendship and talks and that is fine. Because he is a good friend easy to talk to.



{June 19, 2015}   So Excited I Got A Letter

This evening I took the dog out to walk her and checked the mail. I didn’t expect to get anything really I checked it yesterday and it was empty. When I looked I was surprised to find two letters, one for me and one for my little guy. I was so excited I ran inside to give him his and open them. I helped my little guy open his first it was from my oldest at camp. I knew they were from camp I just didn’t know from which one as I addressed the envelop for them but didn’t put a return address on it. I did it in the car and was in a hurry. I read him his and then open mine. It had something in it when I open it it was a bird feather.

She said she was having fun, she was making friends. She said she met a girl there that went to the last school she went to and that she made friends with one of the girls in her cabin. She is watching out for my big boy but don’t see him much. She said he came over and sat next to her when she was taking a water break and they were all playing ball. He was pretty upset and didn’t want to play any more because his team wasn’t winning. She said she talked to him and tried to get him to go back and play but he wouldn’t. She went on to play. When she seen him the next day at breakfast or lunch he seemed to be happy again and doing ok. She said that the next night was the fire and smores she couldn’t wait. I am assuming that was last night because it probably took two days for the letter to get here. She said she was going to go she just got out of the shower and it was almost time to go to sleep. Then she put p.s the father is for little guy it is a sand hill father. He was so excited about that. He said is it a tickle father so I can tickle people with it. I told him to put it and the letter in his draw so he didn’t mess it up and could keep it.

She said you were right I am glad I came I am having fun and meeting new friends. I was glad to hear that since she had went back and forth about going after being at my mom’s.

I don’t know if my boy wasn’t able to get stamps or he just didn’t write. Maybe he wrote another night and sent it we will get it tomorrow even who knows. I know he isn’t much of a writer and I wasn’t able to send them with stamps. I stopped to get some but forgot until we were next to camp. We stopped at two little stores (the ones by us sell stamps) and even found a post office right my the stores but the post office didn’t have a stamp machine and it was closed. I told them to ask someone there if they could please have a stamp as they said they had some things for them if they forgot theirs. I was hoping he would write and tell me how he was liking it and things. Nothing she said worried me though, with his disability he gets that way over games and things. But then he will be fine once it is over and he has moved on to something else. I just hope he is making friends other than that. That he isn’t being picked on or left out. I really don’t think the people in the cabin or over the camp would let it happen but kids do things when people aren’t looking they aren’t stupid. I guess I will know what he thought before long. Only about 29 more hours before I have to be there to pick them up.



et cetera
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