Single___Parent___Life











{February 26, 2021}   Not Safe Anymore

I get home Monday night and I see flashing lights on the street between me and the school. From where I was I thought they were closer to the stop, where JW’s best friend lives. As I got closer I could tell there was a lot of cops and they were about half way down the street but that was it.

I pull in park and go inside and said something about the police down the other street. They start telling me they called them. My oldest said her and 2nd oldest went to walk the dog and get clothes from the dryer.

She said they were standing in the yard talking and all of a sudden they heard something. Then they heard a car and it came flying by the house. She said she didn’t know how they made the 90 degree turn without wreck. Then they heard a women or girl screaming for help and someone to please help her coming from over where the car came from.

She said they were scared to call the police because of the DCF bullshit but the lady sounded so upset and they knew something was wrong she sounded so bad. So they called and a bunch of police came flying by.

We went on with our night I checked to see if anyone around me was talking about it olives.on line because my friend lives across from JW’s and he post if he see’s things going on or messages me because he knows the kids are here when i work. But he hadn’t posted anything. I took my shower and ate dinner and kind of forgot about it. I was flipping channels and stopped on this one I never watch. I don’t know if I went to do something or why it was on there. Well in a little bit news comes on. The first thing they say is 17 year old shot in my area. Not putting 2 and 2 together for some reason. I look up as they flash a picture and show the street between me and the school. The street JW’s friend lives on. Who has a 17 year old son. I walked out in the living room the kids were freaking out.

Little bitty is pointing to the tv telling me thats at their school. It basically is the back yard butts up to the school its right on other side of the fence. Mr. 10 has his hands around his face\head and asking if that is really by us that close. He is my one with high anxiety. Mr.15 is pacing the kitchen asking if I found a place to move yet and when we can move. Oldest is telling me she should of got the car’s tag number and she seen it they could know who it was.

I told her it was fine she did the right thing. Told them it was a targeted shooting. Trying to calm them down some and hopefully keep them from worrying. Although it’s to to close to home and anything could of happened. But us mom’s we have to try to put our kids fears to rest even if we are sick from it all right? I was thinking they know my kids seen them leaving there what might they come back and do? I don’t think anything really but it’s something to worry about.

Soon as I got done with them I went back to my room and called JW to see if he seen the news. He said no and I told him what was going on. He said I have to go make a call I will call you back. He wanted to check on his friends kid. He couldn’t get him. The next morning all the cars were home. He still couldn’t get him. He finally got in touch with him later in the day. Something was wrong with his phone. But his kids were okay.

Then JW finds out it is the two guys he works with it is their cousin that was shot. I am a little pissed off about it for a few reasons. A while back officers seen a car that matched one they were looking for. It was over in an area about 5 minutes away. There was the driver he picked up a kid and there was one other in the car. Not sure if he was already in or got in too. They backed out started to go and the cops came out told them to stop had guns out. The drive did not stop they told him again. He still kept moving the car after telling him 3 times i think the cop shot it killed the 2 boys in the front seat. Everyone had a fit rallied in the streets everything else. Even boy in backseat of the car said he could hear the cop saying stop.

It was said they had been on tik toc waving guns around and pointing them at people just before this happened this why they were pulling them over.

Then at the funeral some 16 year old had a gun on him dropped it or something. Shot him and another girl at the funeral. Now this with 17 year old in my yard basically scaring my kids.

It pisses me of because 1) kids and parents need to look at who their kids are running with and what they are into. 2) teach them better to start with so they aren’t out here doing this stuff. 3) take it somewhere else not our decent nice areas. 4) I was already moving in the next few months now its asap because my kids don’t feel safe.

My area was a nice area I grew up here running all over. I would walk to the store’s work, shop or hung out. We would go play on the playground at the park. I have been here since 2014 my kids have never done these things. It sucks that now they could it isn’t safe. People like this guy call you friend why him and his family are part of the issue and bring it to your house like this.

This has been my week. Hope your is better. I will fill you in on the house hunting renting\buying mess in another post. Spoiler alert it isn’t going well. But of course not when dose it?



When we left off I told you all the Bitch had called the police so many times about someone being “after” her that they came in the night with dcf. Well I haven’t heard from them since even when I messaged her the next day saying I had questions. I do not think they have an open case the way she said do what I needed to do when she left. And that it was a civil matter I think is the words she said. But I still look for her to show back up unexpected. I figure in March to see if I am moving or have her out of there. I would have thought they would of sent me a letter saying I had an open case or I didn’t have a case but nope nothing. But we don’t really have the most professional staff when it comes to these places.

Don’t get me wrong there are a handful scattered throughout these places and the one’s who work with them most are nice. But at the end of the day they all come from right here with in the county and that says a lot considering the shape of our county. They have “requirements” but mostly end up settling for what they can get.



{December 28, 2020}   I Told My Sister

I don’t know if it was Christmas eve or a day or two before, but me and my sister were talking on the phone while shopping. We were calling back and forth having each other look for thing’s we couldn’t find and trying to see what to get each other’s kids.

I don’t know how it came up but I ended up telling her about JW. I just told her I hadn’t told the kids and things yet. I told her we (well I was) were waiting to see how things went if it was going to be something or not. Then this covid crap happen and everything. That I was going to have to tell them soon.

She didn’t seem to sure at first, I told her that January would be a year for us. How he has been there for me and helped me. He got someone to tow me off 95 when I broke down. He got me the Christmas tree last year when I was going to have to go late after work. How he helps anyway he can. How good he is with the kids and wants to do things with them and be that guy in their life. Or that father figure. How he is excited for them to know talks about all he wants to do with them. But he understands why I haven’t told them and he is okay with it.

She wasn’t saying much but I could tell she was thinking. She said but what about this or that I told her. She asked if he had kids. I told her yes they are grown. She said how old is he? I told her only 42 she said oh okay. We talked a little more she seem to think it was good. The way she talked.

Today I called her why we were out to take and drop off the kids gifts and pick up mail. She said come in about an hour they were getting ready to eat. So we stopped by. He got out was helping me get their stuff out and give her. We stood there and talked for about an hour. I told her that I was not renewing my lease and that I was not taking her mother with me. I just told her no one knew yet but I wasn’t going to be staying around here. I wasn’t taking her with me. I told her we were looking at moving up by his kids. I told her rents here are crazy and I can’t afford to live here.

She understood she has been renting the same place longer than I have mine by about 3 years. She is worried they are going to rise her rent or tell her she has to move. She is only paying $825 i think she said. She is in a two bedroom condo. The ones around her are going for $1200. When I told her I could get a decent 3 bedroom house for that in January and now they are getting that for a 2 bedroom condo. That decent 3 bedroom houses are going for $1500 to $1600. She was shocked.

Later I called to see how the kids liked their gifts. And I thought of it ask her what the kids said about JW? They didn’t come out with this covid stuff and her baby and things. We had mask on and stood away from each other. But I said to her they will be asking granny who the guy was with me. She said no she told them and told them it was a secret for now. It should be okay they kept the secret about a new baby until my sister told. I didn’t either so I know she won’t say anything either.

We got there she seen my necklace I went over showed her. She looked then when I got closer she said oh wow that’s, that’s nice where did you get that or who got you that? I told her he got it for me for my birthday. She wasn’t sure what to say. She just looked at him surprised said really? I said yeah. He just smiled. She isn’t use to me having nice things like that unless it was stuff my dad gave me or a few things I got on ebay at a good price. Father of the year never bought me nice things like that. For no longer than we have been together for him to get me something like that. The fact that he could get me something like that and just do it not think anything of it. She had ask me the other night when we were talking if he had a job. I had just told her but she didn’t hear me. I told her yes he works 6 days a week over 60 hours a week. She said oh.

After she met him and we all talked today I think she liked him. I think she wasn’t sure what to think when we were talking the other night. She was young when me and Father of the year got together. She honestly never did like him would not stay if I wasn’t there even if the kids or others were there. I don’t think she ever met RC. She knows how things ended up with that. She don’t know why but when he isn’t around for 8 years what is anyone going to think of someone, you know.

I told him the other night I told her. He said told her what? I told him about him about us. He said really? What did she say? I told him not much really. He said she is going to say something won’t she? I said no she isn’t like that. He said oh okay. He seemed glad I had told her.

I showed her pictures of the cat’s was telling her about them. She asked who’s they were his? I told her no the one was mine. She just laughed. Asked where he was? I told her at his house. That I was kind of living between the two places. He told her I had stayed with him when I wasn’t here they thought I was at Bff’s house. He said yeah 6 or 8 months. I said 2. He was joking around. She seemed to like him. That is good.



{September 22, 2020}   Could Of Been Me

As I sit here at work in front of my computer billing away each day I listen to pod cast on my ear buds. I listen to things like 48 hours, Crime Beat and other true crime or documentaries. Sadly so many of them are about husbands killing their wives or ex wives, boyfriends killing their girlfriends or ex girlfriends. It seems so hard to believe that there are so many of these women this happens to. But then when you think of the statistics 75% + of women who leave or try to leave end up dead. But still so many people don’t believe this goes on or marginalizes how bad domestic violence is or joke’s about it. As if it is no big deal.

So many feel it won’t happen to me or it won’t happen to my friend, loved one or co worker. My son, brother, friend, uncle wouldn’t do that even when the signs are there. I don’t know if it is because people don’t know what to look for? They don’t want to believe it?

As I sit here and listen to story after story, it for some reason really hit me today, how much danger I was really in and how that any one of these women they are talking about could of been me. How it was that bad and I really could not be here today.

It made me wonder why? Why didn’t I realize it at the time? Why didn’t I see it when friends and family were pointing it out and saying it? Why wasn’t I scared? Worried? Reporting him? Why didn’t I tell anyone about him knocking me up side the head or the back of the head when he would get mad. Or him shoving me across the room or through the house screaming and spitting in my face? Why didn’t I tell about him having me so upset I would be locked in the bathroom sick while he beat the door still screaming and yelling at me while laughing.

I would sit there leaning against the door begging him to go away. To just leave me alone and stop doing this if for no other reason than because of the kids being there watching, listening. He keep on until he got fed up and he would walk off like nothing ever happened. He truly was like jekyll and hyde. One minute raging the next nothing happen cooking, playing with the kids or walk off and go watch tv.

There were time’s I thought he was going to do some thing to himself. Bff was extremely scared he was going to do something to me. We lived close like 2 blocks from each other. Any time she heard syrens she would look to see where they were going or call/message me to see if I was alright. If she was gone for the day and we weren’t together she would call or message me throughout the day to make sure I was alright. I have told you all that before I am sure. There was a few times my mom said something and my sister. My sister was scared to be around him. She would not be left alone with him even as an adult. She was worried about me and the kids.

But thinking about it I think I wasn’t scared because I always would fight back and I wasn’t scared to stand up to him and do whatever I had to in order to get away. Before I get a bunch of people attacking me. I know a lot of these women were the same way probably and how many of them did fight back to get away. But I think I was just so use to it and use to it getting worse and worse and thinking ahead to worse case or what if this or that happen. That I really just wasn’t worried about it or thought that it would just be another fight to get through and deal with. I always had the thought is this going to be the time he blacks my eye? Is this going to be the time he breaks my nose. Just all out beat my ass? What am I going to do if he does this or that. The whole time we would be fighting I would be thinking ahead if he does this I can grab that, if he was to try that I can get out this way. I would be looking around what he was close to that he may pick up to use in some way and thinking what I would do if he did.

Writing that my mind is going, oh my god it is no wonder I am the way I am. Always in a state of survival every day. Spend wondering if and when he is going to snap, how bad it was going to be and what I am going to have to do just to survive another day. But at the time you are not thinking survival. It is just your normal every day life. You are just thinking of getting through another day. Sometimes you have the thought if you were dead at least you wouldn’t be miserable and your kids wouldn’t be living in the fighting every day.



I went to work today and only 6 of us showed up. The two HR people or like people, two dispatchers, me and the other lady in billing. New girl showed up got the money for the test and never came back even though she tested negative. I am not sure why she came took the money for the test if she wasn’t coming in because she should have her others back by Monday. The owner and our boss were questioning it as well and she may not be reimburse for it since she didn’t come in today. That was the deal he would pay so we could work today and this weekend. We don’t work weekend but they ask us to if they did this. To get work caught up and let us make up hours.

The accountants didn’t come either. The one that is our “boss”already told the other lady training us in billing he wasn’t he was taking a long weekend. But the new one would be in. She gets there at 7 and wasn’t there when I got there at 930. Then he called me around 11 or so and told me both of their rapid test came back positive. So they can’t come in until they get a negative. He had not received his test from Wednesday but she had. Wednesday’s test for her said negative but the rapid test from yesterday or this morning said positive. So she has to get a 3rd one now that isn’t rapid and wait for it to come back negative. If it don’t then she has to wait and get another one until it comes back negative. He is supposed to do the same and he say’s he is just waiting for his other from Wednesday to come back. HR said no that isn’t how it works once a positive shows up your negative test has to be done after that.

Like me and the other lady in billing were talking he is doing 2 of 3 other things on the side all around people going in their homes and things. If he has it then it is probably from that not the guy at work who got it because he is not around him. They next to never come into contact with each other. And it makes since that him and the new accounting lady’s test are the only other positive so far. Because they are closed up in this little office together a couple feet from each other. They can have the door open but they have it closed a lot and even with it open it is still close and pretty closed off. Cluttered and not real circulation.

If they had gotten it from the other guy then seems that the two guys that sit right next to him in his office and the one who rode around in the car with him all the time would have it. Or even one of us from billing we are in talking to him about work stuff all the time.

Now I guess our exposer time frame just went from last Friday to two days ago Wednesday. Because we had no idea these two had it and we were all around them Wednesday. Hoping that no one else test comes back positive out of this round we should be done with this and in the “clear” for exposer from this incident by the first. We all have to go be retested around the end of the month again. Knock on wood we all come out good can be done with this and not have to deal with it again.

I have to call tomorrow and get my results from my first test they haven’t called me yet. I think I’m fine but hey so did the first one who tested positive and the other 2.



{June 3, 2020}   Same Old Same

Not a lot going on nothing new really. Just normal everyday life stuff. Been feeling more depressed lately and I am not liking that at all. Sunday I was in a pretty bad spot. Things were different than a normal sunday. I didn’t handle it well. The stress of a relationship is something I have been 2nd guessing for a while now.

Not that I am not happy with JW because I am very happy. It is just the extra stress of being stretched so far already and now adding this in the mix. Feeling guilty when I am with him because I am not with the kids. Being upset and angry that I feel that way and that I don’t have free time ever to do things I would like to do or want to do. Because I am the only one they have and I am it 24/7/365. I resent it and it pisses me off and i just want to pack their shit and drop them on their father’s door steps and take a break. I can’t do that and that pisses me off. Its just a big circle that nothing can be done about right now. It pisses me off everyone else does whatever they want to do and has help and tome away.

Like Sunday J.W said he wasn’t doing our normal Sunday whatever. He was staying home doing some things. I get it he only has the one day off. But it just upset me or what because i should of been able to do what I needed to do and gone back over. But I couldn’t i had be home with the kids. I can’t ever just decide I’m going to do this or that for me today or because its what I want to do. Because i always got to be available for and to the kids.

Don’t get me wrong I love my kids more than anything. But everyone needs a break once in a while and I never ever get that. Its been over two years since I had a sitter for my kids. Then that was only 3 of them and it was because I was doing something with the other. And if anything happen I still had to be able to leave go take care of it. I don’t know the last time I didn’t have to be available or really worry. Probably over 8 years ago when me and RC were together. The kids would go with Father of the Year for the weekend. Since then I have been the only one doing it all. Even after that if he had anything to do with them it was take them run to the store bring them back or sit at the house with them until he got ready to leave. I couldn’t have anyone over and he was going to leave when ever so I had to be there to be with them. If i left i had to make sure i was back. I couldn’t just say im spend the night here or there or come home when i want to or what. It sucks. Never having a break to just do for yourself. You can try to take time here there but it is not the same.

So life been pretty much same crap different day. Depression no break worse depression stretched to far ready to give up feeling hopeless angry and resentful. Don’t care if you live or die Same kind of day. Not resentful of my kids but these assholes who call theirself men and daddies.



Had to edit to add a title lol

I am so happy with J.W and our relationship. He is always committing on me looking at him. Or stairing at him. A lot of times in the mornings when I go over and he is sleeping. I didn’t even relies I was doing it.

But lately it just seems to good to be real and I just lay there and wonder when it’s all going to blow up. The closer we get to telling the kids the more worried about it I am. The more uneasy I feel and the more i wonder if I should tell them. I feel like we are 5 months together it is just a matter of time wait it out. The last relationship only lasted about 8 months. By the time I tell the kids it will probably end so why tell them at this point?

I try to tell myself it isn’t true he cares and wants to be with me and the kids. He is excited about getting to know them and do things be a family. That him and the kids would get along together so well.

My mind goes to but is he really going to want all this once he gets a car? Is he really in this and want it? Once he gets a car is he going to find someone that has more free time? Don’t have all the extra going on? Or just decide he rather be single?

He says all the time why didn’t we talk more back years ago? I wish I knew what was going on and what you were going through. I would of put a stop to it i woulld of helped you. I am so happy you found me and messaged me. I am so happy. He tells me all the time he can’t wait until things are different for us. The kids know things open we can all do things together. Just Thursday night he was telling me when he gets his car and things each weekend he is going to take one of the kids and spend time doing something they want to do just them. To give them some time away from the other kids and some one on one time with them to get to know them and the things they like to do.

Yet I am just waiting for it to all blow up. Thinking is it worth involving the kids. The last few days he keeps asking what is wrong. He say’s I have that look like I want to say something but I’m not. I just say nothing he say’s don’t tell him nothing he knows something is. I don’t know what to tell him or how.



{May 19, 2020}   No Boyfriend to Married

Me and Little Bitty had a talk again last night. She been in a mood all evening and from what I gathered pretty much all day. As soon as we turned the light out to go to sleep she started crying. I asked what was wrong.

She said she just really wanted to see her dad and for him to see how big she was and how good she is doing. She said she wanted him to be proud of her a do things with her. Get to know him.

I told her that one day I hope he will come around and want to know her as well. I said what if we added a new family memeber to our family?

She said yeah but I just want my dad to do things with.

I told her that if I got a boyfriend then he would or could do dad things with her. That her dad would still be her dad but he would do the dad stuff her dad wasn’t here doing with her. She stop crying and thought about it scooted over closer to me.

She said he would?

I said I bet if we find the right one he would. She said but he would have to like me too not just you.

I said if I had a boyfriend he would have to like all of you not just me.

She said I bet he would have a dog and then our dog would have a friend too. But his dog can’t teach our dog bad habitats. They have to play and get along. I said so you can sleep in your room in your bed take the dogs to snuggle. She said no that is okay I like snuggling you better. He will have to snuggle us and watch Heart Land if he lives with us. You two can watch shows I can’t once I go to sleep.

She thought about it some more and said would he be my other Step dad? I said you don’t have a step dad. She said yes and said Father of the year. I told her he was the other kids dad but not her step dad. That if someone was going to be her step dad that would mean we had to get married. She said okay if you find a good one that likes us and you then I guess that would be okay. If you wanted to get a baby you could do that. I said first off no babies. She said well if you got married you have a baby. I said no I have all the babies that I want. I am not having no more babies. She said okay good I would rather you not. So if you get a boyfriend and you get married don’t be going to the hospital because you will end up with a baby. People go there and if there are two red they are pregnant and get a baby. But if there is just one red then they aren’t pregnant and don’t get a baby. I said two red what? She said I don’t know it is just how it works. You go see if you have one or two reds and find out of your are getting a baby.

She told me again how we could work together at the same job and put our money together to pay bills. That he could live with us if he has a nicer house we could live with him.

She stopped and looked worried for a minute. She said be would have to know there is a granny and she is sassy and not be scared off by her. I said i am sure he would understand their is a granny and I think it would take more than her to scare him off. She said I don’t know. I said don’t worry about it I will handle that. She said okay.

This girl is a trip. She said so much more but I was all but a sleep when this conversation took place. I can’t remember it all. But I find it interesting for now she has went from no boyfriend to married. You can read my post A talk with Little Bitty

I told JW this morning he was like we can skip the married part but I am okay with the rest. But you’re going to need a bigger bed. But that is how he is he would do anything and everything for my kids and with them. He loves kids.



{April 12, 2020}   Blew Up My Car

On the 5th of March on my way to my night job I blew up my car. I was able to get off the off ramp of the interstate and it died on me. I was blocking traffic and everyone was having a fit and honking. It was 5 something in the evening time everyone was getting off work. Do you know how many so called “guys” honked and yelled at me and never offered to help? Mostly the ones who were was guys. One lady in scrubs pulled over and helped me push it out of the road. Good thing it was my little car. I was mad and done at that point. I couldn’t find anyone to help me. I called bff she was working no to far away so she came and picked me up. But my car was still stuck there.

I had been talking back and fourth to J.W and he called his best friend to see if he could come get me and it off the side of the road. He was all worried about the transmission and messing it up. He said your not supposed to tow cars like that with a rope. I told him I was not worried about that it was probably shot any way and I just needed it off the side of the road. I told him to tell him I didn’t care if it messed it up and would not hold him responsiable or want him to fix it. I just wanted him to get it off the side of the road. He said he would do it but he was out on the boat fishing he wasn’t sure when he would be back. I figured he was saying it because he still didn’t want to do it but didn’t want to tell J.W no. I called my Good Friend and asked him about it and why we shouldn’t tow it like that. He said really you shouldn’t tow any car like that it has always been said not to. But that if you weren’t flying and took it easy it should be fine. I said oh well hell I have towed so many cars like that it isn’t even funny. I even towed my one truck that way it was 4 wheel drive. That I found out later you are not supposed to tow like that at all. I didn’t know that at the time.

I called Mr. Responsible I wanted to see if his friend with the truck would come tow it for me. His old roommate. He couldn’t because he was already having transmission problems and couldn’t even work because he couldn’t tow his trailer with it.

J.W called and messaged around and was trying to find someone else but couldn’t find anyone either. I went with Bff and headed back toward home with her. By the time we were getting close to my area J.W called and asked where I was at and said he found someone to come get it for me. I told him I was almost back home. I asked him if I should get dropped off at his job or his house then? He said go ahead to his house the guy was on his way to his job to get him they would stop and pick me up. That is what we did.

We got there he hooked it up with a chain and we got turned around and back on the road. I thought we were going to go down the other road or other main road that would not have much traffic. We got back out on 95. Well he had me chained really close to him. I felt like I was against the tailgate of his truck and then he had his flashers on and they were reflecting off my car and his tailgate blinding me. Something else was wrong. I started to tell J.W to call him and tell him to stop I couldn’t do this we needed to fix somethings. Oh the fact he used a chain not a strap or rope was really bothering me as well. I don’t like to use chains to tow things and as close as I was to the back of the truck being on a chain bothered me. And the fact that I was chained so close behind him I could not see around him to see what was going on or what was coming up. It was a huge mess.

J.W did not have his phone number and couldn’t call him to get him to stop, turn his flashers off or anything else. We were coming off the on ramp as he is telling me this and I have semi trucks and everything else flying around me and by me. I started to go into full blown panic attack. I could’t help it everything was so wrong and I couldn’t get him to stop. It was like being on a fair ride that you couldn’t get them to stop and let you off of. But you were responsible for stopping both of you but only when the time came and they were ready. But you can’t see what is going on to know when you need to start stopping everything.

Poor J.W, was trying to help and calm me down and telling me this and that. I yelled at him, I can’t, you don’t understand. He tried to say something else and I yelled at him to just stop and not say or do anything. He just looked at me like he didn’t know what to do or say and started to say sorry. I just said I can’t you have to stop. He just sat there. All this is happening with in seconds or minutes as I am being drug down the on ramp and snatched out onto the road.

Once we got out there everything was past us, I was able to calm myself down and come to terms with it all and figure out how to work with what was happening. I am shocked I was able to calm myself down enough so fast to be able to do what I needed to do. I was able then to talk to J.W the rest of the way and he helped me some once I figured out what I needed. My friend was at work I couldn’t take it to his shop. I didn’t want it at my house because I didn’t know what I was going to do with it or who was going to work on it or what. I didn’t want it done here. I have enough issues with the people complaining and starting about whatever they can around here. We took it to JW’s house and I got a ride home from there.

I dropped the kids at school and started walking over to his house to get some things and to either walk to work or go catch the bus and get to work. My Good Friend messaged asked where I was at. I told him walking and where. He said he would be there in a bit he was on his way to the car to look at it. A few minutes or less later JW’s friend pulls up and picked me up. I guess he was on his way to go somewhere before work and seen me. He took me over and dropped me off and my friend met me there. He said he was pretty sure it was to far gone to make it worth fixing. But they would come get it take it to the shop and figure it out from there. I told him just leave it there i didn’t know what I was going to do I wasn’t fixing it if it was that big of a problem. JW’s friend picked him up for work. He dropped us of there and went to do some other things and then came and took me to work. I think I called in to my night job that night.

I called around to scrap yard and junkyards and found a place that said they would come pick it up and give me $300 for it. That was twice what anywhere around me wanted to give me. Good Friends said his brother would maybe buy it from me but he only wanted to give me scrap price and said that he called the junk yard and they said $125 to $150. I told him I found the place for $300 he said if I could get that to jump on it and take it because that was really good right now and twice what others wanted to give. I told him I knew I had been calling and that they were supposed to come get it the next day at 12.

I don’t know if I got a ride or walked to J.W’s house but I got over there and they came and gave me the money and took it. I cleaned it all out before they got there so it was ready to go. My friend drove me to Melbourne to look at one Mr. Responsible friend had but then the friend wasn’t there when we got there. It was getting late I just went home. I got up the next day and rented a truck for the week so that I could get to and from work and not lose a job or hours. Then Saturday I took it and went to find something Saturday. I came home with one too. I got a good deal and a really nice truck.

It is the same as my other just different motor and it isn’t 4 wheel drive. But the guy who bought it new was Ford mechanic and the guy I bought it from had money to keep it up and make sure it had no problems. New tires less than 10,000 miles on them, new a/c newer front end a year or two old and other things. Anything known to be a problem or go out has been fixed. The heat even works on in it. I haven’t had heat in a car in 10 years probably. I am so much happier with it than my little car. I really need the extra room. The kids are so much happier too.

I can’t right now but I want to have it painted. I am thinking about this color green……

I want to fix it up nice. It is in great shape, no rust two tiny dents thats it really. Few little things inside i want changed thats it really. I want to fix it because it is in such good shape. I don’t want it to be something that in a few years from now is a mess because the little things were let go not taken care of. I want to finally take one and do it just how I want it done. Paint seats everything. My project. Do little things when i have extra to spend on me. It has rims the grill guard. I want to paint it, get my seat covers for it. Maybe a few other things here and there as i go.

All J.W friends are like oh wow, we knew she wanted an suv. We thought she was getting a little Mountaineer or something small like that. Not something big and tuff badass like that. He just laughs says no she wanted something big with room. She had one before her car wanted another one. They can not believe what I paid for it. They blown away I gave so little for it.

J.W teases me all time about wanting a big truck. Me and big trucks. Then I told him I found something and pulled up in it. He just laughed was talking about how nice it was and then looked worried. He said how much did you pay for it? I told him he was like what? Really? That’s all or a down payment? You’re not making payments are you? I said yes that is all no payments. The title is right there. Not that it really mattered if I was making payments. But he knows it would be a stretch for me and not give me any wiggle room with hours. And i would be stressed out until it was paid off. That if i had to make payments i would end up way over paying for it.

We did some repo’s i parked them at his house to make it easier for them to be picked up. I needed my truck moved so i could park the repo. I gave him the key asked him to move it. He backed up and turned pulled around the yard and parked. I parked the repo got out to go inside he got out. He said wow I really like driving that. I want a big truck now. I busted out laughing. He said what? I said you drove it a few feet through the yard and listen to you. Your hooked already. He just smiled said what i like it.

I told him he can take it in his trip at Christmas tine if he wants to. He wants to state hope and pick up his kids. All go see his mom. He laughs. I mean it. I had already told him before he could.

Okay for now that is one of the big changes since this stay home lockdown, might be locked down mess started. Stay turned more big adventurers to come soon.



{March 11, 2020}   H1N1 Or Swine Flu Has Struck

Friday Little Bitty got home from school and went straight to bed. They called said she as rolling around crying and upset saying her head, belly and throat hurt. I ended up taking off early and taking her to get checked. They said she did not test positive for the flu or strep just keep an eye on her. She spent all day Saturday in bed and all day Sunday. Sunday night, Monday morning she woke me up about every half hour to hour telling me to stop talking she was trying to sleep and didn’t feel good or other things that I could not even understand. Finally she woke me up about 7 something I felt her and she was hot. I took her temperature and it was 103. I gave her a drink and some Motrin and we finally went back to sleep and slept for about 4 hours straight. Her fever was back down and stayed around 100. By a bout 3 or so she was feeling really bad and asking to go back to the doctor. We got ready and I checked her temp again, it was still around 100 so I didn’t give her anything.

We get to the doctor about an hour away with evening traffic and things. We waited probably another hour to be seen they were so busy. We got back there they took her temp and it was 104. They were worried about it got her something to bring it back down again. They tested her again for the flu and it came back positive. There is really nothing they can do but give something for fever get her to drink and give her something to keep her from getting sick. Because I was having to give her something to keep her from puking about twice a day but only like in the evening and at night. By that point I had done gave it to her in the morning and then again in the early afternoon.

She is out of school until Monday and that is our Spring break so she is out for two weeks before she can go back. I feel so bad for her she is so miserable and just cries she don’t feel good and can’t breath because her nose is stopped up and she feels sick and going to puke. Yesterday she refused the medication to keep her from puking and said she thought it would be better if she just puked than taking something to keep it from happening. But she couldn’t even because she has hardly eaten anything since Thursday night. She finally took the medication so she wasn’t dry heaving all after noon and could rest.

The doctor said she wasn’t worried about if she was eating or not but she needs to make sure she drinks. She said she wants her to have three 16 oz bottles a day but she may not get that in. That rule of thumb with her being sick is she has to go to the bathroom once every 6 hours or she has to go straight to the er and get iv fluids to keep her from getting dehydrated.



et cetera
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