Single___Parent___Life











{December 20, 2019}   New Driver in The House

Monday oldest called me at my night job and said she had passed the written part of her driving test to get her permit. We were going to go the next morning to get it but it said it takes 24 hours to work it’s way through the system for her to be able to go in. We decided to go yesterday and decided to stay in bed it was cool and drab out and we hadn’t gotten much sleep.

So this morning we got up and I got the kids to school and headed off to the DMV. I told her our goal was to get there and be one of the first 5 in line and hopefully not more than 10 in line ahead of us and to get there before they opened. This DMV stuff is nothing to take lightly ūüėÜ. We have waited hours. I mean like 2+ before. That is why I get there right before they open or just before closing time. You get in and out pretty fast.

We got there about 5 minutes before they opened and ended up being 11th in line I think it was. I told her now they will call every number up to us and stop for hours before they called another. But they were calling peoples numbers before they could even walk from the line to a seat to sit. We got our and sat down. She had a form to fill out about the time she got her first name on the paper they were calling us back.

They guy took all her paperwork and did her vision test and picture. Then he goes that will be $55. I said what they told us it was free. He said no just the class and test. I said they told us if you took the class through the school and passed you just came did your picture and eye test and it was free. He said nope it is $55. She had to go get my money out of the car. He said I don’t know why they tell kids that we hear it all the time. They told me that growing up forever ago. So now I am out $55 I did not have to spend. But we had everything done at that point and I didn’t want to disappoint her. I am going to have to pay it now or later so I just paid it. I will have to find it somewhere.

Now she can drive as long as she has a licensed driver 21 or over in the front seat. She can’t drive at night for the first 3 months but after that she can. That is when I want her to drive the most and that is the hardest. For me. What’s three more months. But that messes things up as well because I normally take them to learn the basics at night at a closed store at night. Heck I was just thinking I could do that after work this evening and after dinner tomorrow. Guess not now. I only have them in the parking lot an hour or so then I get them out on the streets and going. I may still take her one evening to let her get comfrable and get the basics down. We have a longish trip to make tomorrow she could have driven if she jad the basics down.

She has a wait a year from today in order to get her Dl and be able to drive on her own.



{March 20, 2016}   Driving Lessons

My sister called me last week and wanted to know what I was doing, when I told her I was out with taking mom to the store she said she would talk to me later. I thought it was odd because we hardly ever call each other and just the way she acted. Like she wanted to talk to me but couldn’t because I was with them. I didn’t get home from dealing with her until late and really forgot about it. I figured I would call her or stop by on my way home. She lives right by my mom. Friday she called me and we were talking and then she asked me if I would teach her how to drive. She said she had gotten her permit last week. But she don’t want our mom to know until she gets her license. She knows she will tell her she can’t get her licence until she has had her permit for a year or more and that she needs to teach her I can’t possibly teach her right because I have only been driving since I was 13 and have no clue what I am am doing.

I took her out Friday night to a parking lot and let her learn where the gears are, the feel of the peddles and to get use to driving the truck all together. She has never ever drove or been behind the wheel of a car other than a power wheel. I told her one time to back on truck out and pull it back in once I got the other one from in front of it and she looked at me like I had 4 heads. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go but she did really good for the most part. She only hit the curb twice and almost took out the bank once. She was trying to make a left hand turn and didn’t turn in time. Then she wanted me to get her out of the jam. I told her she had to back herself up and get out of it, she did.

I figured she was going to freak out there was ¬†a cop sitting in the parking lot when we got there and she started. He sat there a long time and left, then came back. I told her at first he may come over and want to know what we were doing but I think he probably figured it out after watching her a minute or two. I had her driving around and parking backing up and things. We went again last night her husband was with her and he wanted to see how she did. I took her in the parking lot and then took her to the neighborhood. She kept saying next time but like I told her it is night there is nothing out and she can only drive around the parking lot so many times. She needs to be on a road even just in the neighborhood to get use to being in her lane but not on the side of the road, turning on and off streets is different than turning in parking lots. She was worried about cars parked on the street and things. But she drove past cars in the parking lot and things. We went and she drove around about an hour or so. she is doing good she just needs to work on getting the truck up to speed without stepping on the gas to much and lerching the truck all over and not stopping to hard. She wants to drive down the street two miles an hour like she is in the parking lot. When she has to stop she stops to far back or doesn’t easy into it she just hits the break. If she gets that I would be ok with taking her out on the road at night when there isn’t traffic. Last night we were driving around she said that goes down to the road by the river want me to go that way. I said no I don’t know if I will be ready to drive down that road with you in two years and for sure not in this truck. It is a very narrow road and on side you have houses and yards. On the other you have this drop down to the river, very little bank and the road is barely big enough to pass on. My truck is so big I pretty much stop and wait for people to pass me when we are coming toward each other. There is no way I was taking her out there only drove a few hours and in the black dark and no lights to see what way the road curves or anything hardly. She laughed and said oh yeah I don’t want to drive down there either.

My friend called the first night I was out with her and wanted to know what we were doing. I told ¬†her she said she was about my sisters age when she learned as well. She said she was¬†worried when she started. She asked me how I did when I started. I told her I was alright that the first thing I learned on was a stick shift. She said I figured you say that like it was no big deal when you learned. But it really wasn’t, but like I told her she has to remember I was 13 when I first started driving so I wasn’t scared or worried really. To me it was cool it was great I was getting to drive. My dad trusted me to drive and was teaching me because I really didn’t want my mom to teach me and knew she never really would without it being a fight. We went to and empty parking lot and I had to get use to the gears and shifting with the clutch and all that, all stuff they are not having to learn while trying to drive for the first time on top of it. After doing that a few times I maybe a few I can remember going once and doing that for sure I think we may have two or three but not 100% sure we went more than the one time really. But after that I use to drive me and my aunt up to the little store through the neighborhood so my dad didn’t have to take her or go for her. She was an adult but could not learn a stick shift to save her life. Or she would drive I would shift and make sure we were in park when we got there because she never could get it in park or shift it. I got tired of her always stalling us out and finally told my dad i was going to drive us if I was taking her anymore. After that my dad got this big Oldsmobile it was a huge car and that was the next thing I drove. The first time I drove it we went from our house to camp about three hours or so away then from there to my grandpa’s another couple hours from camp then I drove from there back home. A lot of it was two lane roads and highways with semi trucks all around.

I can’t say I knew how to drive before he showed me but I always watched when we went places and my dad would be driving. Back then we road in the front seat all the time. It just seemed simple to me. Them they worry oh there is a car coming oh there are people around and things like that. Even if they are a block away or on the side walk. They might walk out in the street. So they slow down to 2 miles an hour 5 miles before they get to them. I keep going as normal and figure they are going to stay on the sidewalk. I watch to see what they are doing if they look like they may walk out there or decide to corss the street. I will slow down when I get close to them if it is kids or they are close to the road or look like they might cross. But even then I don’t slow down to 2 miles and hour. I tap my break a little and keep going but ready to stop if need me. If my sister see’s lights coming from a side street she wants to stop and see where they are going to go or if they are going to pull out in front of her. It don’t matter she can’t see the car and will be passed the street before it even gets to the end of their street. But that is my moms fault becuse this is how she is. She is always wanting to know what that is if she hears any little sound even if there was nothing to be seen, if someone is waiting to turn then you better slow down to a crawl because they might pull out in front of you. It don’t matter they are looking right at you and stopped and waiting showing no sign of moving. or that the light is red and they are stopped at it. If there are people on the side walk or side of the road they are going to walk out in front of you so you have to all but stop until you get to them and miles past them. I am having to make her see that this is not how you drive that it is really very dang est to drive like this in a lot of places because traffic around you are expecting you to be moving not just stop or slam your break on and slow down. That even if they are watching if they are close to you or the road is wet they can still hit you even if they try to stop. My mom says you don’t watch you don’t slow down blah blah. I do watch I slow down when I need to or feel I need to. But I don’t go 10 miles under the speed limit at all times and then stop and slow down for every little thing. A trip that should take you 15 minutes to make takes her 30 to 45 or more sometimes. When she rides with you she tries to tell you how to drive and what ways to go because you can’t take your normal every day streets. It all comes down to she has anxiety and refuses to get any help with it. I can understand not wanting to take medication but when it effects your life like it does her and in every part of your life like it does with her and people don’t want to help you or come around because of the way you do then you need to get some meds to help. I don’t like taking them but have at different times when I need them.

 



{February 1, 2014}   Legal Again

After the other day little incident (Go Directly To¬†Jail)¬†that could have turned horribly bad I decided money or not I had to get things fixed today. I told Father of the year he needed to take off take big boy to school and then drive me to the places I needed to go. We went to get the insurance first so I could do my tag and license at the sametime. They wanted a $100 more I didn’t have because of my license. I told him I would go get my license and then come back and he says you can’t because of your tag and not having insurance kind of smug. I said if I turn my tag in I can get my license back without it. Then he tried to tell me well I don’t know about that I don’t think thats going to work. I said no it will because I don’t have to have insurance to drive I just need a license. If I don’t have a tag I don’t need the insurance so therefore I can still get a license. He still acted all rude and said I really don’t know your asking the wrong person. I said no I’m not asking you anything I am telling you I have done it before. I didn’t need a tag so I turned it in and I could keep my license because I didn’t have a tag in my name anymore. Lots of people have a license who don’t have a car and insurance. He says oh well then you can see. I said I will go do it and be back in a little bit. I had to wait for a hour and a half at the tag place to turn it in and get my license fixed. Then I am standing there with my old license, birth certificate, SS card, marriage license and mail from the SS office showing my address. They wouldn’t give me and new license. Said I needed two things with my address to prove it was me. I said with my old one in hand and all this other crap really and I am staying with someone I am homeless so I don’t know how long I will be there ¬†they still refused to. They just took the suspension off and let me keep the old one that is falling apart split in two and peeling all over.

I went got the insurance and then had to go back to the tag office to get my tag back. Thank God the lady gave me a pass that let me go right back to her without waiting in line again for hours. I felt bad there was two guys at her window when I went back and she asked them to sit down and waited on me and got my stuff. I was in and out in just a few minutes. It was just about time to get my big boy at school so we grabbed lunch and got him. Then I said something to father of the year about going to the court house to fix the divorce. He said I got to get to work blah blah. I said ok then when are you taking off next week to do it? He got nasty. Like I told him I want it done so I can move on with my life and I want to move out of this state. I don’t want to move until it is done because I don’t want to start over and I don’t want to have to live there 6 months or a year before I can even file and then jump through their hoops to get it done. I have jumped through them all here it is just getting it back in front of the judge. He said well I have to be there at 4 no later. I said it is going to be 330 by the time we get there and then have to do what we have to do to get it done. ¬†I am not leaving until I have answers and know what I have to do.

He drove down there and we talked to them. The lady there looked through it all and said that we had everything she wasn’t sure why they wanted mediation or other paper work. Then she was able to get into the judges notes and seen that it said we were not in agreement so that we needed to file contested or work it out basically. I said we are she looked at father of the year and said you’re agreeing he just stands there and looks at her stupidly finally answers and says yes. She just looked at him. She said to file new child support and income sheets. I told her we needed to do new ones anyway because income had changed. She gave us everything but with 3 of the kids with us and having to fill out two packs of the same paperwork and then a 3rd of different stuff I told her we would bring it home and do it I would bring it back. One I think is something new as well so I want to look it over.

The way she talked if I turned my papers in Monday I could have a court date by Friday or before. That would be great. I would feel even better if I knew that was all taken care of and not hanging over my head anymore. I was free to do what I wanted to. Wish me luck and pray because I am going to need it. I told a friend if he stops it this time I may attack him before I even think right in the courtroom or court house. She turn on the 12 news and there we would be. I told her she may want to go with me to hold me off of him just incase. It was all I could do not to just yell at him and scream when we got out of the courtroom last time I wanted to hit him so bad. I couldn’t believe what he did after all the time I put in to getting it done and getting the court date to start with.



et cetera
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