{September 9, 2018}   Marry A Man Who……

Love this had to share.

{July 27, 2018}   Re: Not In The Cards Of Life

So I have been thinking more about our cards we were have been dealt. Maybe we are dealt what we are and we may have an uneven hand, but maybe that is because we are not meant to play them alone. Maybe we are trying to play Solitary when we are supposed to be playing Go Fish. Better yet Poker. Yes we are trying to play Solitary in the middle of a Poker Game. Maybe if we stopped being so scared and found the one we are supposed to be with and we shared our hands we would bhave a more balanced hand and be happier. More prepared to Handel the bad times when they come.

I know when I am in a relationship things always seem much easier. It is even what I have been saying lately about just having someone who care. What Sleeping Beauty said we all want to be independent but always need a man.

My reply said it all, most have not chosen to be we have been pushed into it. I would love to have a guy there to help and not have to be so “independent”.

You know what they say we stand in the way of our own happiness. Maybe its just time to stop being scared and take that leap and make ourselves happy and bring that balance to our lives.

Don’t rush out and get with someone just to have them and try to make it work or force it. Don’t struggle in a relationship that you know is time to move on from. Just to have someone or to keep from being a lone. Get away from it all clear your head and decide what you are looking for, what you want and that your not going to settle. Then decide that you are willing to play Solitary in a world that is playing Poker and struggle a little until you find the right one. I did and now i have two that really are great guys but only one is the one. Now i have to figure out what one that is. I am being shown little things more and more everyday. Once you find your one your going to be scarer than you ever have and the more you start to realize he is the one and you have feelings for him you will be even more scared. To the point of wanting to run. But you will be intrigued and drawn back to them at the sametime. Don’t let that one get away. Don’t let another one come along and try to confuse you and get you to share your hand with them.


{June 10, 2018}   Need a Man

Last night while I was finally looking at the truck trying to check the headlights Starfish messaged asked what I was doing. I told him changing the bulbs and trying to see if we could aim them.

We finished and I headed home. It hadn’t taken us long so I messaged him on my way home. I was aggravated not having help with my truck, being alone, just wanting the closeness and support. I said I need a man! He sent back I need a women. I said I’ve just about given up. He asked why.

I said because all these guys just want to be “friends” or hang out see where it goes. None are into more. He said so are you ladies. I said no. He like yes.

I said okay so maybe some but these guys act like its all a game or something. Or they come in wanting to take care of everything, pay everything buy you things and your supposed to be impressed and fall all over them. I’m not into all that.

He never responded. We have talked a little bit since then but none of that came up after I said that.

I said it too because I wanted to see what he would say. I figured he get quiet like he did the other night when I said I was looking for more. But I’m sure he is thinking about it all too.


{May 14, 2017}   Your Not A Man Or A Daddy

You call yourself a “man” and a “daddy” but you are far from either one. You are a selfish coward. No man or daddy is going to disappear, not telling anyone you are living or change your number so that no one can get a hold of you not even if there was an emergency. A man does not leave owing his children months of child support and needing things all to be with some whore, I would same women but that isn’t fitting because that she is not. But I should not be surprised because she didn’t even raise her own three kids, she dumped them with whatever guy would claim them because she didn’t know who the fathers were and still don’t. She was never there for hers and now your going to tag along with her and do the same to yours. While everyone tells you how happy they are for you and what you deserve and all that why don’t you tell them how you make close to a grand a week and your kids don’t see a dime. Why don’t you tell them how you have never walked out of my house with them for a day much less a weekend like your supposed to have them in years. Why don’t you tell them how the one time you seen your kids since you left they sat in the truck calling you daddy, daddy wanting you to walk over and talk to them and you hid and called the police all because I came to ask you for the money you owed your children so they could have food on the table and lights for another month. Tell them how when I left there and had to stop at my grandmas house she paid the light bill so your children would have lights and their grandma bought food for them. Before anyone starts talking about me tell them how I had $4000 in the bank and money to cover my bills until I had to use it all to pick up the slack from you not paying. Tell everyone how your son has done so good with his separation and abandonment anxiety for the last year and now goes into full blown anxiety attacks. Something no six year old should have to deal with at this age over someone who calls their self a daddy or man. But wait you wouldn’t know how he has been doing with any of it because they are lucky to see you for more than an hour or two a month. They have end of year field trips, awards and kindergarten graduation all the next two weeks but you don’t care. Your to busy drinking and drugging it up (yes your catch told me about your habit) and everyone in town knows what you say about me, But you know what that is okay if they want to believe your lies over the truth when they have no clue what is going on so be it no lose to me. All I have to say is it’s funny if I am all that you say I am and have people bleiving that I am then how come I am the only one that is here 24/7 365 days a year, why does the doctor probably not even know who you are, why has their therapist not seen you in years, why has the only time the school seen you is when you want to make a show at the older kids school and act like you care. They are all sitting back laughing at you because they know they never see you and how un involved you are. The little kids school said who oh yeas he was here once with them for something. You just keep snowing all who never see you and have no real idea of what is going on in your life but for the ones that are hear everyday and see every day what is going on and the ones that have been here from the start all know the truth. While you say your craigslist meet up was a one time thing I know it wasn’t. Did you forget the time in Palm Bay when Big Guy was a baby and you used someone else work computer and left your email pulled up and signed in. Well yeah it was all right there where you were talking to them had met up with them and was making plans to again and to meet up with different ones as well. Everyone knows how your going through $100 to $250 a day hookers and drugs aren’t cheap. To anyone that has read this far you know what I do not normally post things like this and put it all out there for all to see, but I am so tired of how he just walks away from his kids for weeks at a time only to call and text once in a while and how he makes himself out to be such a wonderful loving caring daddy who does so much for kids and takes care of them so well because that is the farthest thing from the truth and has been pretty much always been. There is so much more i could tell because people don’t see what goes on behind closed doors. This is just a little tiny tiny glimpse of what really goes on and what kind of dad and man he really is.

et cetera
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