{April 19, 2019}   Needs To Get On His Meds

I seen Mr. Responsible the other week he was telling me how he had gain all this weight and he didn’t know why and that he don’t eat that much and things. He told me before he had gain and didn’t know why.

I thought it was odd because he is always working and things to gain how he has as fast as he has. I don’t know why the other day I was thinking about him and thought about him talking about gaining. I thought he isn’t gaining weight, he is swelling or holding water I bet. When he hugs me he feels solid or tight not like fat. I am not sure what medications he is supposed to be on but I am guessing one is to keep fluids down. Or it is his liver he needs to get checked. But I am guessing it is one of his meds he is supposed to be taking.

I haven’t talk to him since we all hung out that night. But maybe once or twice messeaging. I tried to talk to him before that when I was over there about going and getting back on them he says he don’t have time and has to work, always working. He said if he would lose the weight he would be okay. I am thinking now he needs to get on them asap. I haven’t brought it up to him yet but feel like maybe I should toss the idea out there to him and see what he says. I might see what he is doing tonight go see him after work talk to him. Just bring up how is he doing trying to lose the weight or what go from there. I probably wouldn’t have to bring it up he probably will and go from there.

{June 15, 2018}   No Medication and Moody

I have not had my medication in a week or more now. I am not sure if I told you but with my insurance being messed up I could not get it.

I went to pick it up and they said it was $68 so I left it. I called latter to see if I could jusg get a weeks worth and they said it was $5 something for 7. I went and got them but I am out and have been for a like I said a week or so. I was thinking about it I had $5 and something to get another weeks worth so figured I would.

I was thinking if a months worth is $67 or $68 how was only a weeks worth $5 something? In that case it would be cheapet for me to just buy it weekly. I called and started asking questions and how this was and ask again how much it was. They said I had this big amount of pills left on one script and another large amount on another they cpuld run it and see how much it wpuld be. I said wait, you are filling it for everything I have left there? They said yes. I said so how much if I just want 30 days worth? He ran it and said $20. I said oh I wish I knew that before I would of gotten them sooner. I thought the price they gave me was for a month. So they silled it for just 30 days amd said I can get it that way if I wanted too. I was supposed to get it yesterday and had to pay the lights so I am going to pick them up tomorrow.

But I was shocked they were going to give me a 6 month supply at one time. I don’t want to pick that many up at one time. My luck something would happen to them and I would be out of luck and have no meds.

But the last few days boy have I been moody. I don’t like feeling this way. I have been really sleepy as well. Just makes me more moody.

{January 17, 2017}   Medication Mess

I have to figure out what to do about my medication, I don’t want to stop taking it but I don’t like how tired it makes me. I know that is nothing compared to other problems I could be having from it or others I may try. That is why I am trying really hard to figure out a way to stay on it. I took it good for about a month then missed about a month of it and then took it for about a week and missed the last few days. I also know it is not good to keep taking it here and there because it is doing nothing for me.

The problem is I am a night person, through and through if I had to pick a time of day to do something it would be late in the evening. I have been this way as far back as I can remember. I stayed a lot with my grandparents when I was young, my grandma worked the night shift at the hospital. She went to work at 10 or 11 and got off around 7. She did not drive so my grandpa would have to take her. I would be up until time to take her to work. We would drop her off and at least 3 to 4 nights a week we would stop at the old closed down gas station to fill up the water jugs. My grandparents had a well and you really couldn’t drink the water. Maybe 5 miles from there house and between their house and my grandma’s job was a station my grandpa use to work at. He knew the owners really well, they would let him fill up water jugs there for the house. We had two milk crates one with gallons in it and the other with half gallons. He would stop there and fill them up after we dropped her off. I don’t know why he did it so late at night like that, but he did. Then we would go home and I would sit up the rest of the night until I fell a sleep and watch all the late night shows with him. If I did go to bed I laid in bed and watched them on the tv that was in the room. That was before I was even in school. I remember doing it even after I started school. So being up at night is nothing new for me.

As I have said before if I take my medication in the morning it makes me so sleepy I can’t stay awake and do things I need to do. When I am awake I feel drugged and I don’t like that feeling. So I started taking it at night and that works because it helps me sleep and still works for me. The only problem with that is, I have to take it by 1030 pm in order for me to not feel sleepy in the morning for hours after I wake up. On the medication I get a full 8 hours of sleep and that is great.

But I have no time to decompress, just relax and just be. I have no time to work on my homework, blog or get other things done that I may want to get done or to watch my shows that I like to watch when I have internet and can watch them. By the time I get the kids to bed it is already 10 I have time to get things shut down and picked up around the house get ready for bed and it’s time to take my pill, 30 minutes or less later I am passed out dead to the world.

I am working on getting the kids to bed a little earlier but it won’t be before 9 pm if I do. The little ones I am working on getting to bed earlier because if they are in bed sleeping then the older two will go to their rooms and do something. The little ones are just so use to going to bed with the older ones they can’t fall a sleep easily when they are still up and they jump up and down waiting on them to come to bed. This is a work in progress like I said I am trying to figure something different out there.

I also want to try taking half a pill in the morning and half at night before bed. I want to see if that will make me feel less sleepy but still work for me. I think I may not notice a big change in how I feel the first week or two until I get it in my systome again. But I think that once it is in my system the main thing is just keeping it there so if I am taking the full amount they tell me to in a day it shouldn’t matter if I am taking it all at once or split up. I don’t think, I mean I am sure it will in some ways but I don’t think in ways that will affect me. I am hoping doing it that way I will not be as sleepy when I take it or feel as drugged when I take it. That way I can stay up and get things done in the evening.

I do have extra time in the day when I sleep at night but I am not focused in the day like I am at night. In the day I am thinking about the kids being at school needing to go get them, what we have going on for the day where we need to be getting there on time and all that. Where as at night I have everything for the day done now I can just sit down and do things without worrying about 10 others and having to run here, run there and make 50 phone calls while doing it. I just hope it works and I can keep taking it or that I can find a way to keep taking it and get the time I need in the evening. I really don’t want to stop taking it and I don’t wan to have to try something else just because it makes me sleepy.

No I will not learn to just be a morning person or day person and get my stuff done then. I worked mornings for 3 years or more being at work at 8 am and I never became a morning person. I hated every day I had to get up and be there even though I loved the job. If I could have worked evenings I would have.

Tomorrow I have no class and no where to be so I think I will take half of one and see how I do in the morning. I am sure I will already be tired so probably won’t tell much of a difference. But hopefully when I take the other half tomorrow night I will see a difference. I won’t be so tired.

et cetera
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