Single___Parent___Life











{July 30, 2016}   My Important Date

I made it to my Important Date Friday, it was quick and painless. They didn’t bring up any of the things I thought they were going to bring up or why I thought they wanted him to come. There were a few things that she has a question about the way it was worded and wanted to ask about it and make sure we both agreed to what it said. One was about medical and dental that is not covered by insurance, we put that we would split it. She wanted to know if that meant we were going to split it equally or how. The other was when we each have the kids. He gets them every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning. I have them Monday through Friday and every other week through the weekend. I was trying to word it that way but I guess it sounded funny and she wanted to check on it. She just ask me if that was how it was for both of those, asked if our marrage could be fixed, asked if I was able to and planed to comply with everything on the settlement agreement, child support and parenting plan. Then she ask if it was correct I wanted to have my maiden name back and if I was doing it for any reasons other than just because it is my name and I wanted to go back to it. If I was trying to evade debt, or doing it for any other fraudulent reasons. As if I was I am going to sit there and go why yes, yes I am. But she has to ask I know. I figured they would ask why you want to go back to it make more since. She asked the standard did I agree to everything on my own and all that, pretty much just standard stuff after that. Then she ask him if he agreed to everything in it and if he agreed to it or was forced to agree to any of it.

She said because she is not a judge she had to write her report or what and send it to the judge to go over grant and sign off on. She said there was a 10 day waiting time for her to do that and then a five day mailing period so about 15 days before anything could be done with it. She said if we both agreed we could wave the 10 wait and she would get the report done and right over to the judge so he could do his part. We both said yes. I was holding my breath I kind of expected Father of The Year to say no to just have that last little bit of control. She didn’t say how long it would be before we should get the papers. She did say that it wasn’t done yet so not to do anythig until we got the papers saying it had been done. So it is unofficially official. It’s done we do not have to go back for anything it is just processing I guess you could say. The judge should have no reason to not grant or sign off on it since we have had a day in court and went over everything with her. The judge can’t change and thing because nothing can be changed if we are not there to agree to it. He could not agree with something and kick it back but not likely to happen since they sent it to this other lady to take care of because it was all done and agreed to.

I said I am going to be stalking the mailman until they come. I already told the kids they are not allowed to check the mail until I tell them. They check it but sometimes it gets dropped they have to pick it all up, or I’m not here it gets laid up and forgotten about. Not a big deal since I never get anything but bills and junk 99% of the time. I go on line and look at my bills or call and check everything so that isn’t a big deal. Most always there is someone out there when they check it but there are times they will randomly check it and bring it to me. I just don’t want to take any chances. I can also go on their site to see what is going on with the case if it has been granted or what. I checked but it hasn’t updated since the court date was posted. I am hoping it will show when it is sent to the judge. It should at least show when he signs off and grants it. But I need the papers they mail to take care of the name change and if anything happens or was to happen for legal reasons.

I am just happy it is done. I don’t have that it’s finally done reveled yet. I know it is and it is all technical stuff, but there is that little voice in the back of my head saying what if something happens and the judge don’t sign off on it? I trying to ignore it but I am just naturally one of them people that until I have it in my hand it says done it isn’t done. I have to have a sold it’s done nothing can go wrong or it is not done.



{June 28, 2016}   Missing Paperwork

Today I call the judge to get a court date and the JA tells me we do not have all our paperwork turned it. We need a marital settlement agreement. She says we did not turn one in, I tried telling her that the paperwork says that if we used this other form we did not need that and she insisted we need it anyway because without it the judge don’t know what we agreed to. If they would look at the rest of the papers they would know because it is all in there and if they would take 5 minutes to do their job and know what papers are needed with what papers they would know the other paper takes the place of what she is asking for. But instead of doing their job they force you to fill out and file extra papers. Of course it is not one of the ones that you can fill out online, I have to print it out fill it out. I also have to do a new child support guidelines worksheet because now he is supposed to have this job. It is the only thing I was really worried about holding the case up since we weren’t able to fill it out all the way.

This week is a supper busy week, now I have to fill these out and get a time we both can go back to the court house or somewhere and get it notarized and turned it. If I can get it in tomorrow or the next day then I can get a court date for next Wednesday July the 6. He already said he is not going to come to court if he don’t have to and he will probably be working by then anyhow. He don’t want to have to ask for time off as soon as he starts. My sister said she would watch the kids for me so I can go. I don’t really want to go, I don’t like court rooms. I don’t know why or what it is, I can only think of three times I was ever in one. That was once when my mom was going to court over my sister with my step dad, once for jury duty and the one time I went trying to get this divorce settled. It isn’t like anything is going to happen, the judge is either going to grant it or deny it and tell me what I have to do to get it put through. But I would rather go take a test than go to court. Isn’t that crazy. I guess maybe because I want this done more than anything right now, I have had to do it all myself and get it put through and the last time the judge wasn’t very nice. He was but he wasn’t, he wasn’t happy I did it myself, that I didn’t ask for more and was looking for any reason to not grant it. I guess he is use to seeing these women in there who try and take these guys to the cleaners and I truly don’t care to do that. I just want my divorce, to be free from him and done with when it comes to us from now on. If he pays whatever they say he needs to pay or what that is truly fine with me. So I take him to the cleaners get all this on paper he has to do this, that and the other, it is not worth anything more than the paper it is written on if he don’t pay it or can’t pay it. Then I am back in court fighting to get him to pay it or doing without it just like I would be if I never was given it to start with. I rather not bother with it because i know he can’t pay it. I also have nothing to wear to court really. I guess I will wear my green shirt and see if I can fit into my black slacks or have to wear my black jeans. I just hope we can get this in tomorrow. But I am not sure how I will because I have therapy with one kid, and dentist with two while he takes my sister and her baby to the heart doctor. Tomorrow is the only day the lady is at the court house to do it so I guess we will see what happens.



{September 7, 2015}   20 Day Count Down Ends

Last month I told you me and father of the year had talked and I was giving him time to get the papers for the divorce done and then get a court date or I was getting a lawyer. You can read it here 20 Day Count Down Begins .

Well he has not bothered to find out what paperwork needs to be filed, much less getting it taken care of and turned in. Not really surprised I knew he wouldn’t. But I couldn’t do anything until I get my money. I get it this Friday and when I do I am going to talk to someone to get it taken care of. I am going to talk to someone Friday and see what they advise me to do to get it taken care of as quick as I can.

We got into it again tonight, I am trying to figure out the boys birthdays coming up in a few weeks. I want to take them to this place he talking about going and all this but he has no money to go. Then if I tell the kids he can’t go then they get mad at me and upset because they don’t understand.

I am trying to decide what to get them for Christmas and start buying and putting away so that I have it done. I was looking at stuff on line and I said something to him about Christmas. He responds with I thought we were getting stuff together. I already knew what he was going to say. Has he said I can give you so much or can we do this how much do you need anything? Nope not a word, he figures I just do it and that will be that his name will be put on it. Then when I said something he starts about well I haven’t had money I don’t have money I am trying to make sure bills get paid. I have to tag my truck and get it moved or I’m going to get in trouble, I thought, you, just on and on like always.

I told him this was my money to pay bills and get everything I need until I find a job and that I’m stretching it the best I can and that I need to be able to pay my bills to and that I am making a point to make sure they have something that he hasn’t helped with the first thing around here yet and that it isn’t right. He just acts like it is no big deal and it isn’t his fault or problem. I just don’t understand how he looks at things this way. How he has no care in the world how it’s not his fault nothing ever, how he just see’s nothing wrong with any of it and that he will help if or when he can and if he can’t or never dose it is not big deal. I should include his name on all the gifts and everything else. I just blows my mine.

Again tonight telling me why dose he need to take care of this and he don’t want the divorce. I said fine then I’m not either I did once and I am not fixing the mess you made so I guess I have to get a lawyer and let him tell me everything I can get and ask for when we go to court. I don’t know if I can figure out and fix the mess. I probably could but it would be a lot. This point I would rather just get a lawyer. He’s all no don’t do that I guess this week when I am off I have to get it taken care of no matter what. This that and everything else has come up. I said it’s like your job if it needs done you make time make sure it gets done no matter what or it will never get done if you don’t. He says he is going to go do it. I am sure next it will be he needs a way over there and all this. To bad I am not his ride I gave him a truck if he can’t tag it and insure it I can’t help it. I have plans he knows I have had plans for weeks and things to take care of he has had a month to do it in. He better find a way. But ride or no ride I am sure he won’t do it anyway.



et cetera
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