Single___Parent___Life











{June 12, 2019}   Time For A Change

Who the hell do I call, write or visit to get some fucking changes with the way they handle these fucking deadbeat dads who don’t feel the need to pay child support? May 15 we went to court and he made the payment to catch up SOME of his back pay not even all of it. Then makes one full payment and not even half of another and has paid nothing since then. He is over $700 behind just since we went to court. Not counting the back pay he still has to take care of.

I messaged them the other day after getting part of a payment and they said we JUST went to court and we had to give him and/or his boss the time to get the payment in. This was three weeks after court one and a half payments down or behind. How much time does he need to make the payment and keep them going? The $2500 back pay did not come from his pocket at all. He got it from mommy probably I don’t know don’t care. Then that very Friday he misses a payment then makes one payment and the following week makes less than half a payment and again nothing last week. But he is walking around scott free nothing being done.

I called them today and asked them what was going on. She said they sent a paper telling his boss they need him to take money out every week or to know if he isn’t working there on the 11th and they are waiting to hear back. I said the 11th was before we went to court so nothing is being done since we have been and he is still basically not making payments? Well they have to be 90 days behind she tells me. I said he is already over $700 behind I thought it was a week or month? Well at the end of JUNE if he has not made a payment then they will take action and try to collect. I said so we will go back to court or what? Oh no you have already been to court. I said and he isn’t paying still so we need to go back or something. Well no it will depend there are other actions they can take. I asked what?

Suspend his license, I said already did that in February

suspend pursonal or state licenses I said he don’t have them

Go after his tax return, I said already doing that and he don’t file he works under the table

She like well we can only do so much. I said why can’t we just take him back to court and put him in jail or threaten him or what? Because that is the only way he is going to ever pay. Well at the end of the month we will send a letter to his employer to have them take it out again and to him to see why he isn’t paying and he will have so many days to comply and then those are the steps we go through. They may send it back to court in 90 days if he don’t comply.

Why don’t they take him the first payment he misses and send a letter telling him to pay it or show up in court? If he keeps missing payments and haven to have letters sent to him they should make him come in and he should have to pay so much in advance ahead that way if he misses then the kids are not going without why it takes them so long to get him in court.

I don’t know what the right answer is or the answer is at all but I know that something has to change and they have to do something and get these guys on the line and make them see that they are going to be in and out of court and or jail if they do not pay. I am sure they will say they don’t have the money to put them in there all the time or more than every 90 days or what. But you know what if they didn’t have 15 people sitting around doing nothing waiting on people to come in their office maybe they could. Or maybe if they had 12 of them people each take so many cases and make sure that the parties are paying or sending them letters and going to court they could. Because they have no less than 15 people sitting around in the office just waiting for people to walk in and I have been there an hour or so before closing and I have been there in the middle of the day and right at closing. All hours of the day and there has never been more than me and 3 other people in there at any given time.

I have to go this Friday for the DNA test and I am going to talk to them in office and see if I can get anywhere or any more help than what I am going. If not I am going to call the judge and if I get no where from there I am going to go to the court and file papers myself and get it in front of the judge or go to the court house and wait and tell them I need to talk to the judge.

I want to message him or call him and say look I am going to their office Friday morning if you don’t want me to sign the papers to have you picked up then you need to make sure you have a payment in tomorrow so they can get it to me by Monday. If it isn’t the full $719 I will sign anyway. Just see if that scares him into paying. I also feel like going and seeing his grandma and calling his parents and saying look I know that you all paid this for him why he told you all this time he has been paying it but that you are wasting your time because he is still not paying and this much behind here is the site here is the information if you don’t believe me. I am going down to do what I have to do to get him back in court and get it paid or him in jail. Even if he goes to jail and does anytime it is going to just be a circle because the money don’t go away and I will not sign for it to he is still going to have to pay and it is just going to keep adding up why he is in there. maybe they will get on his ass and make him pay. because the last thing they want is for one of their kids to be in jail. That looks bad on them. If he goes I am going to make sure everyone knows too.

But most of all I just want some things changed and them to do something about this before 90 days and for all these parents men and women to get the help they should be. Not stuglling to get by and doing without and their kids doing without because they are not doing anything. Because I can tell you if it comes down to going to jail or paying many, many, many of these guys would pay. And if they knew that after just one or two weeks of missing a payment they were going to be jerked back in there and have to pay anyway or go to jail they would. It would only take a few times of making them get there and paying a lump sum to get caught up or spending some time in the jail that they would make sure if they had to sell their ass on the corner they got their child support paid. But they know now they rack up all this they have to pay a little chunk then make no more payments for months or years and nothing is done until next time they pay a little chunk and walk off again. I think if we done this half or more would get their money in and their kids would be getting the money they need and not doing without.

I am going to spend the next few days figuring out who i need to call write and go see to get something done because this is not working. If someone don’t raise enough hell and let them get away with doing things the way they are then they are not going to change the way they go after these guys either.

Until then I am going to make his life hell as well because I now as of Monday have a lot of free time in the mornings I will be watching him and reporting him when he gets in the company truck and is driving, I will be letting his boss and family know like I said that he isn’t bothering to pay. I am so done and so over it all I don’t even care anymore, what anyone thinks or feels or says about it all.



{October 31, 2018}   Love My New Job

I love my new job so far, I don’t think it could get any better. One of the owners was there when I got there he had opened up and everything.

He showed me how to use square our pos system. Where the safe was to drop the money at the end of the night, where finished work was and where to put in coming work. He gave me sheets they made up for me to write down where I call and what they say. He said the desk, file cabinet all this it is all yours do what you have to in order to make your job easy for you. He said make a list of things you need as you think of it or come across things we will get them. He said if you have a different way or better way to do things or figure a way out that is better let us know set it up there no problem. He ask if I like it warmer or cooler told me to ajust the air however. He called me in there later he showing me the radio, he said it hooks with bluetooth to the phone put whatever on.

He would pop in and tell me different things here and there or call me and show me things. He said be needed to go to the store was I alright there to handle things. I was on a good roll working I said it be fine. Why he was gone I set an appointment for today in our county just north of us. I called and ask him first since I knew they didn’t want to go far leave me alone to long. He said yeah it was fine.

In a little while he said well you seem to be fine I am going to go to lunch. Ask if I needee or wanted anything.

While he was out the other owner came in he was telling me different things and asking if he told me about this or that?

I had laid my purse and jacket on the table behind my desk. He said there are hooks in here for your jacket purse and anything like that you need to hang up. I said oh okay. He said you know what I’m just going to put you some hooks in there somewhere to hang your stuff on. I don’t if you want your purse and things like that, that far away from you. I said no, don’t worry about that in there is fine. I said it’s not that far away and there isn’t anything I am really worried about in it anyway. There isn’t anyone here going to mess with it. He said are you sure? I told him yes.

It is in the back of the shop customers can’t get to it they are not allowed back that way because of all the knives, blades, tools and things to sharpen them. I don’t think I have to worry about either of them or his dad messing with it. They are federal police for goodness sakes.

He came in and sat down for a bit and I was making phone calls trying to get appointments lined up for Thursday.

I googled salons in that area then went to trip planner used our first stop as my starting point then was able to load 25 other salons in. From there I let it plan the trip so that it would put them from closes to furthest away. Just went down the list it made and called them.

I had a lady say yes she wanted them to stop by why they were in the area that she had 3 people needing services. I look to see what time they should be leaving their stop and the travel time. I told her we could be to her around X time on that day.

I hung up the owner said did you just tell her what time we would be there? I said yes was I not supposed to? I explained to him I went down the travel list or what. He said no that is great, so and so never done that. She would ask them what time they wanted. I said but if I do that it messes everything up. He said no your right if they don’t have a problem with the time you offer that is great and works perfect.

Later the other owner came in and they were talking. I called them over to the computer to show them how the day lined up and that I only had 2 more added for that day the times I allowed for each stop and travel time and ask if they wanted me to set anymore. They said no that worked good. The one told the other she just tells them we have you for this time or that and puts it in they take it. He was like really thats great. I had shown him how I was mapping everything out and things. He like I am loving this I don’t have to worry about anything everything is working out really good so far.

I am glad they are happy, I messed up a few things but I went back and fixed it right away customers where okay and didn’t get mad. I had told her the first time we were talking I was new it was my first day I had just started. She was really nice about it and it taking a little longer.

The other mess ups were my personal with things I was doing and trying to figure out the best way to do things. I don’t even think they knew or would of cared. I have to work on Friday and Monday tomorrow.

I have been making list of things I need to talk to them about tomorrow.

The one that open with me this morning said what did you think when a sharpening shop contacted you?

I said I really did not think anything of it. I said I have done a little bit of everything. I said I did bailbonds for 3.5 yrs, worked in a transmission shop for a year filing and cleaning. I said so yeah working in different not your everyday kind of places. He said oh yeah and that’s good.

I do like working places like that. The bailbonds was great it was all family I was the only one that wasn’t they ever had. My two bosses the owners there were guys. At the shop I know them they are like my family. This has been a family ran place and now the mom is sick and can’t anymore. I met the dad today really nice probably in their 60’s maybe 70’s. So now they are needing the help. It is nice working for places like that because they treat you like a person and they appreciate you and what you do.

I like that I pretty much work on my own not dealing with a bunch of other employees. Honesty having guys for bosses to me is easier than a women. Its probably horrible to say but it is true. Most everywhere I have worked I had guy bosses. I think maybe too because I just get along with guys easier.

I think after I get settled in, things arranged, running smooth and we all get to know eachother better about asking them if I can learn the rest of what they do as well. Its the two owners and the dad. But the mom is really sick lots of doctor’s visits and things. The dad is going to have to go with her and things, plus he is pretty elderly himself. It could be of benefit to them to teach me that part as well in the long run. I am sure it takes a while to learn it but it would be good I am already there if someone drops something I could just do it and they wouldn’t have a ton to do or the dad wouldn’t have to worry about coming in if he didn’t want to or couldn’t. Something to think about.



{May 6, 2017}   Starting To Wonder

It is amazing the things you start to put together when you just take a day and do nothing at all but lay around? I went to bed around 11 last night it is almost 4 and I have done nothing at all but sit around here looking at my phone or computer or sleeping. The kids have been watching tv, sleeping or playing on the computer.

I started thinking about this mess with Father of the Year, my sister messaged ask if he came by gave me any of the money he owed me or anything. I told her no and what happen Thursday night. We were talking about it, she asked if I had a way to get a hold of him or if he still had me blocked and not giving me his number. I said I still had no way to get a hold of him. I am wondering now if she didn’t block me not him and that is what she thinks she is going to force me to do? It isn’t going to happen.

Then I was thinking about it and Wanda did not block me, I can still message her and she reads them but no one ever responds because I sent her a few at the be gaining. She did just what her ex’s new old lady did to her to me, she had him change his number and not give it to her, she blocked her from contacting him any other ways as well, when ever she wanted to see or talk to the kids or needed something from them about the kids she had to go through his old lady not him. The only difference is they had the kids she did not. Well I got news for her I will not be going through her to get a hold of him about my kids or anything else that I may need to get a hold of him for. I got news for him I will not be doing that either and if he wants to see or talk to my kids and for sure thinks he will ever take my kids I will have a good number for him and an address for him. When I need to get a hold of my kids or him about my kids I will be doing it through him not her. If either one of them have a problem with that then he can forget having my kids or seeing them and if something happens when they are with me he can forget knowing anything about it until he decides to contact me because I am not going to be contacting her or his family to track him down and get a message to him. The courts say he has to give me his number and address if he wants to take my kids just like I have to keep mine updated with him. They do not say I have to go through his whore it says I to let him know he is to let me know. That is how it will be or else he won’t be seeing them or having them.



{December 28, 2012}   Over Two Faced People and Drunks

Ex’s sister in law has been running her mouth and talking behind my back the last couple months. She has made the comment that she would take my daughter for a while if need be. But that she didn’t want the other two. Like I am going to split my kids up and send one states a way to live and take her out of her school and a way from her family. I am trying to find somewhere to stay now so they don’t have to leave their schools.

Well then ex’s dad lent him money to get a place he has to pay it back at tax time. When his sister in law found out she got all mad about it and started making comments and saying stuff. Well now they have been down and staying with his parents for the week and started more shit. He took the kids and went over for a couple hours on Christmas and his dad was making comments about us getting back together and his brother was saying something about it. I guess they didn’t like it that he wants too get back together. I don’t he does that is nothing new or different. Then his dad was saying something about the money and he wants him to bring it back until we get the place and all this that he is affraid we are going to lose it or it is going to get stolen. As if we don’t keep up with our money all the time and never have any problem with it getting stolen. I guess he told him he would bring it back Wednesday. I don’t know I wasn’t there he just told me he had to take it back and that they wanted them to come over and have dinner. They also said something about him using my truck and not having his phone on. Not my fault he hasn’t fixed his truck we haven’t had time with everything going on and not like we can run them both right now any way. Just more gas to run it all the way down to where we are staying to sit. Mine is bigger we have more room and it has the stuff we need in it. We figure we will get the other one going as soon as we get things settled and have time.

Well his sister in law texted my phone last night and wanted to know if they could see the kids because they were leaving this morning to go home. They weren’t supposed to leave for anther day or so. We were 50 miles a way looking at houses and filling out paper work on one then taking care of the dogs and things. We text back said we weren’t around we were up there and that we still had to get home. Then they wanted to know if they could take them out for ice cream. I text them back told them that we still had to get dinner and that the baby was sick and went to bed already. That if we had had more notice yesterday or something we could have set something up but it was late and not a good time. as far as they knew it was ex. I said he was wore out he been going to work at 4 am and then not getting home til 7 or 8 and trying to get a house and things. They send something back saying they were so sad to hear that and blah blah and then they said that he needed to call his dad that he was supposed to be there the night before and broken promises had caused a lot of hardship and pain bull shit. Said he would call and that we had turned in paper work in on a place and put money on it to hold it. Then they really got mad.

He called them when we got home and was sitting in the truck. His dad started that he was jerking him around and screwing him around and how he was supposed to bring the money back. He told him the agreement was he would give it back at tax time. He started that he needed to make sure we found the right house and all this this shit. By now I was beyond pissed. I said I don’t need anyone to tell me what house to rent my family has to live there. His dad sounded like he was about to blow I could hear him saying what did she say. Ex just said nothing or something he was saying she did what did she say I heard her I want to know what she said. So then they got into it more. He was having a fit on the phone he sounded like a 2 year old not getting what he wanted. I tried to take the phone because he started talking about me and what I was and ex wasn’t saying anything like always. I was mad so then I said more. He was saying he needed to control the money and that was it he didn’t care about the money and something and that was what he got out of it he didn’t have to have anything to do with him or the grand kids and me out of his life it was worth it and shit. I said non of them have to worry about ever seeing me or my kids because after today not one of them will see or speak to my kids again. He flipped over that after what he just said and that he couldn’t keep them from him and all this. Then he started telling him he would just go take the kids and he had the means to and all this. Like because he has money they are just going to hand my kids over to him or something.

I said tell him that won’t happen ever that if anyone got called and they said my kids had to be placed I have a family who they will go to before he ever sees them and that he still wouldn’t see them. That he needed to look it up and check into it that grandparents have no rights the only ones that have rights are the parents. No and he would fight it and if they had to be placed they are the ones they would place them with anyway and all this. I said nope because even if they did that they would ask me who I wanted them to go with because I am the mom and still have say in who has my kids. But they aren’t going to take my kids I already know. I have talked to a worker before and I have friends who do foster care they all know how it works. They worker told me if the rest of the parents they work with did half as much and cared half as much about their kids as I did they wouldn’t have jobs because they wouldn’t be needed.

Like I told my friend they may have money and they really don’t we all ready know they have said things to my ex and his grandma has told him. Money isn’t everything and just because I don’t have money don’t mean I don’t have people who know how it works and who will fight for me. It isn’t always about what you have as much as who you know and how you treat people. I don’t screw people over and start drama and I know all kinds of people who I get help and get along with very well. When you don’t cause problems and help it isn’t all about money. But like I said I am not worried about it he can’t do anything any way. He will spend a bunch of money just to find out he has no rights.

Like I told my friend and ex one lives states a way do they really think they are going to take my child split her up from her family and send her states a way when there are plenty of places right here that she can stay and plenty of people here willing to. Do they really think they are going to take them and give them to the drunk who lives maybe at the most 40 miles a way and only sees them if they are lucky 4 times a year and probably not even that? I don’t think so. I know they won’t.

They really need to think about almost 10 years ago when I first met my ex where he was what he had and who helped him and things when they wouldn’t even let him come home and stay a few days or a month to get back on his feet get a car or anything. He was making $60 a week if he was lucky paying $50 out for rent and had $10 left for food and gas. He was borrowing a friends car and trying to fix it all the time just to be able to get around.

We got together I took him to a friend who had a company got him a job making decent money working full time. I took my money from my job and bought us a truck and I went and found us a place to stay and let him stay with me at a friends house I was staying out until we got a place.

Just like now as of the first if I had not took him to my friends house, my sisters house and now my moms to stay when I move around he would not have any where to stay either. He would be staying on the floor in that cold empty house with no fridge stove or anything or in his car. When his car broke down my friends husband ordered him the starter because he could get it for way less than what he could get it for since he works for a shop and tow place. He wouldn’t have gotten the part to fix his car because he would be trying to save money to get a place or he would have had to take that chunk of money out to get it and been set back that much.  

Not one friend or family member of his that is around here has offered to let him stay with them for even a night. Or said hey you and the kids could stay here why you look for a place nothing. But then they want to talk about me. I have sold my truck and everything else for us to have money and the things we need. I have helped him with gas and food my friends and family have helped him. But then this is how they want to do and talk about me and do knowing my kids their grand kids are going to be in the street. I promise they won’t be seeing or talking to my kids again. They can sit back and say well we will see them when they are with their dad or what ever but they won’t. Because if he wants to keep seeing them he won’t take them places I don’t want them to be or around people I don’t want them around. He knows I won’t play games after someone does something like that.



et cetera
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