{October 25, 2019}   Figuring Out How To Pay

I think I have figured out how to pay. I was going to ask at my night job if they could give me a lone and let me pay it back $50 a week. But the owner is out of town until Tuesday.

I had the thought of my friend The one that Father of the Years new wife was living with before she came to stay with me and ran off with him. He has some money now he got that was owed to him. I was going to ask him if I could borrow it but had to figure out when I could pay him back so I could give him a date. If I could pay it weekly or one lump on x date. I didn’t want to short myself and put myself in a whole.

I also had to figure out how to do Christmas for the kids because $400 out of my budget plus and extra $200 from it this month coming up for car insurance to renew that is $600 that I don’t normally put out then needing to take out for Christmas as well.

I sat at work last night and redone my budget ( I may not have told you but I set up a budget on paper) because I had to adjust somethings. It runs from Wednesday to Tuesday because I get paid from my night job on Wednesday and my day Job on Friday or Saturday just depends if the guys are here to pay me at the end of the day or pay me before they head out. It just seem like I should set my budget up that way. But I was figuring somethings wrong because even though I knew it was Wednesday to Tuesday somethings I was still trying to budget Friday to Friday a few things I forgot to add on there and had them filed under misalliance it wasn’t working. Others I had listed to pay monthly when I needed to pay them weekly because I don’t always use them and pay different depending if I do or not. But last night I finally got it where it needs to be.

I had already figured if I came up short and needed extra money I could pawn my guns but I needed to know when and be sure I was able to get them out with in a month or two. I can’t pay on them a year like I did before. I was thinking I could pawn them and get enough money to pay the rent up but then I didn’t know how I would pay Christmas if I was going to have enough. I wanted to have them put up in order to use for Christmas just in case because even though I am on track and getting everything taken care of starting to get ahead I am still in that spot where I am not coming out with much money left at the end of the week/month. I had already thought I may have to pawn them to help with Christmas.

I figured out if I borrowed the money I could pay it all back in November but would probably have to pawn them to get Christmas. I figured my budget into the middle of February and if I did I may have to pay January and get them out in February. Still make the bills.

The guy I work with said something about being board and I said yeah I have done my budget up through February. He said oh yeah your really bored. I told him what was going on.

He said ask the boss, they are really good about things like that. I said that is why I asked yesterday when the owner would be back. He said call him he is available by phone for things like that. Or boss can approve it as well give him a call. I told him I would talk to him today when I got in. He said I could pay it back like $50 a week or so. I may ask them if they could take out $30 a week. it take about 14 weeks to pay back. So about the 2nd week of January. I am going to try to pay it back sooner but if I can get them to $30 a week it would give me a cushion and I could pay the extra the other weeks once I get past the first two weeks.

I think I am going to go that route if he says no tonight I am going to have to go see my friend and talk to him after work tonight hope he has it and will do it. I may be able to ask him if I can pay it back after Christmas or give him $100 a month instead of all of it in a month or $200 a month. I may ask them at work if they can do $100 a month as well and then do the extra but only have myself on the line for the $100 a month in case.

I asked the guy at work if they approve it if I had to wait until Wednesday when I get paid to get it or if they can get it to me sooner. He said he will just give me a money code like we give the drivers when they call in and you just go to the truck stop and cash it. So I can stop there after work tonight get the money and stop at the other store and pay the rent with it.

I better get off here and get something done at my day job. I need to clean and make my phone calls. It is slow today and I am the only one here. I just want to sleep my coffee don’t seem to be helping. Been stressing over all this crap I hope he can do this for me tonight.

{January 27, 2017}   Watching for the Money to Move

On the school site when we log into our accounts we can do just about anything and everything we need to do from there. We can check our aid, grades, standing, go in to work on our online classes, set up to take test just everything. The best thing is we can see if our money we are getting back in aid and/or loans is moving and going to be put into our accounts soon. I was told it wasn’t going to go in until about the 13th of next month so I wasn’t looking for it before the 17th when I have to pay my books off. They are the ones that said it is the Friday after we get our money. I get it most times 30 or so days after I start classes. But I always figure a few days out. Last term we got it shortly after add/drop time for out classes so only about 2.5 or 3 weeks out. I was looking in a group I am in for the college and a bunch of people were talking about when we would get it back and a few said that they had talk to aid yesterday and they told them to expect it by the 2nd of next month so Thursday this week, I hope they are right and that they give it all to me not half of it. Up until last term I use to get half about 30 days after class started then another month or two I got the second half. Last time I got it early and got all of it. But then others were saying they always got all of it in one lump and only got half so you never know how they decide or what group you will fall into. If they only give me half then I am going to be in big trouble because my budget and bills count on all of it now. I don’t know if I can do everything I need to do like fix my truck and things if I don’t get it all now. I was going to use it and replace it with money I get every month that I can’t get any sooner. So I would still have it just kind of in savings. Now if they keep half and give me half I will not have enough to do what I need to do and will have it and my other money sitting in “savings” until they give it to me and by then I will have had to spend my money to pay other bills and things and then will have to use the other half to pay other bills. between house hold things, fixing the truck and money I owe. My taxes they say may not come before the 27th of March. I was counting on that to pay back all the money I borrowed and the money I owed on the washer and pay the guns I pawned off. I forgot about that until just now. I didn’t forget it is always there in the back of my mind and pops up at random times. Just pray they give in all to me and it comes this week not in a few like they said to start with. My oldest birthday is Monday and she is waiting on me to get my money to do something for her birthday as well.

{January 21, 2017}   Background Checks

As you know if you read my post from yesterday I pawned my guns my daddy left me, I would have never done it if I wasn’t sure I would have the money to get them back because I refuse to lose them. I have had a few people say jut pawn them when I needed money the last few months. 1. I knew I would not get that much out of them they are not worth much, more to me because of them being my dads then anyone else. 2. I was scraping to pay things and get the money I needed I was not going to risk losing them and I was not going to just sell them outright. I will do without before I lose them. I have lost to much that my dad gave me to lose them. It is pretty much all I have left from my dad even from when he was a live and the guilt I feel for losing the stuff he gave me before Would not compare to what I would feel if I lost these. I lost them because I relied on someone else and what they said they were going to do. Now I am relying on only me, myself and I to get the money and get them back I have already made it happen I just have to wait for it to hit the bank. Even if it is late hitting the bank I still know I have options and will not lose them.

That being said when I went to pawn them I had to go to a different part of the shop then you go to when you pawn other things. I laid them down and opened the box the one was in. Thy guy asked for my ID and started looking somethings up and asked if I wanted to pawn or sell them. I told him I only wanted to pawn them there was no way I would sell them or let them be taken and sold. He ask what I needed to get out of them? I told him I really needed to get $200 but as close to that as he could get. I don’t know what he was doing but he punched around on the computer and was looking at stuff he looked at my ID again and asked me if I was related to so and so? I say yes he said I figured by your last name and I can see the resibalince in your faces. He poked around more on his computer asked if I had been there before and things and then said he could get me $170. I told him that was great I didn’t think I would need $200 I could get by with a little less but figured it was good to have the extra just in case and so things weren’t as tight. Plus once I do it I can’t go back and get more money if something happens I rather have one ticket than a bunch of tickets and I don’t really have anything else left to take them. I also wasn’t going to let them tell me they could only give me $100 or $130 or some low ball price for the two. I figured at least $175 if I could get the $200 then ok but anything less than that wasn’t a fair deal. I don’t know a lot about them but have had them looked at and know a ball park figure on what they are worth and what I should get. After he said $170 I told him that was fine we stood there a while longer and I asked him how much I would pay back for what he was giving me. He said just wait I am trying to figure it and get you more, trying to get you as close to the $200 as I can. I said oh ok thank you. Then he said ok you will pay back $250 plus $5 for the background check when you come to pick them up. I ask him how much I would get that day he said the full $200, I worked it out for you. They will most the time if they can get it up to what you need. But I always ask for more so they want to work a deal with me and help me get at least close to what I ask for. Because I know that sometimes if you want to little they don’t really like to work with you and if you ask for to much they don’t if they feel your stuff isn’t worth close to what you are asking for. They will just say sorry I can’t get close enough to what you are asking for so we won’t take it.

Anyway I was intrigued when he said background check when I came back, so I asked him more about it. Because I have never pawned a firearm before so never thought about it. He said yeah we do a background check when you pick it up and if you don’t pass it we can’t give them back to you. I said even though they are mine and I had them and gave them to you? He said right. I ask him what happen to them then could you have someone else pick them up for you or what they did with them from there. He said no if your the one that pawned them your name is on the ticket your the one that has to pick them up and your the one the check is done on. If you do not pass then we get to keep them and we put them out for sale. I was surprised that they could just keep your stuff like that and that they didn’t have to turn it over to someone or let you make other arrangements for getting it back or something. He said so I tell everyone if you have anything on your background you think may be a question then you need to take your stuff back now before we do anything and check into it before you do this and lose them. I said I’m not worried about that at all I have had many of background checks and had/have state licenses and things and never been in any kind of trouble or arrested for anything. But that is very interesting to know about pawning guns I never would have thought of you all doing that. I asked him if when I was ready to pick them up if I had to come in one day to do the paperwork for the check and things and then come another day to pick them up or how that worked? He said no they run the check right there and as long as you pass it they give them to you since it is your own gun already. If you buy one from them instead of pick up a pawn you have then it is a 3 day wait for the background check.

It is not something that effects me personally but could kind of when you look at the big picture. But I don’t know how I really feel about it over all. Because I know it is there to keep guns out of the hands of people who should not have them or who are not supposed to have them. But then at the same time you get someone like my dad who screwed up years ago has something on his background and now 30 or more years later couldn’t buy or get a gun because of it even though he hasn’t been in trouble and wouldn’t be a problem with one. This is the kind of people who mainly would be the ones who lose their guns to this kind of thing not the ones out on the street causing problems and doing things now and who are in and out of trouble all the time and for gun related crimes. Because the odds are if they have a gun and want money for it they are going to sell it on the street not take it to a pawn shop so it is still most likly going to someone who isn’t wanting it to collect or protection. They aren’t worried about buying one at the pawn shop or legally so these rules they make to keep guns out of the wrong hands really do not work at doing that. If the ones who it is trying to keep from having them cared about laws and following them to get guns they want really cared about laws wouldn’t have to worry about the laws in place to keep them from getting them because they wouldn’t have the record that would keep them from getting them. They would be like the rest of us and be able to just go buy it.

And back when my dad was in trouble he was still allowed to buy guns it was only the last 5 to 10 years that the laws changed and now he couldn’t. In cases like that they should not take that away from people either they should be grandfathered in if they are not in more trouble since what they did and they are were still legally allowed to buy and sell them before new laws all this time later go into effect. Because again the new laws are not aimed at these people they are aimed at people today most times. These other fall in the cracks and get treated as if they are still doing the things they once did. If you fall under the new laws there should be some kind of expiration on how long they keep you from buying and selling anyway if you are not in more trouble after so long. I am not saying this because I had family effected by it or I am because like I said I can walk in and pawn mine and pick them up any day of the week with no problem. I also have friends and family who should never own a gun again because they can’t stay out of trouble. Then there are others who have never been in trouble and probably never will be. There are all kinds of branches on the tree just like others. To make a blanket law over everyone is not right.

{June 27, 2015}   No More Walking

My friend came over yesterday and I was able to get my truck back. I was there before their doors opened waiting. The girl took care of everything and then we went out to get it. They had it behind this big fence with a bunch of other cars all in a line and a ton of other stuff around it. She could’t get the gate open past the truck it is messed up I told her they had it open the other way when they put it in she kept saying it wouldn’t open that way since it was broke. There was no way they could pull it up to get the gate past it she was scared to drive it. My friend went over and got the gate to start opening the other way and the girl then started trying to help her and get it to open the other way. They got it open some I said you can back it out this way and around the gate there is room if you can’t or don’t want to open it all the way she looked at me like I was crazy. She got the gate open and I went to make sure the kids were out of the way so she could back it out. She started to the truck a couple times and stopped. She finally looked at me and said do you want to pull it out since it’s first one. I said yeah I can back it out I don’t mind. She looked so glad. I backed it up and around to miss the tree and then had to pull it up and back around again because there was a wall and the store right there on either side. She looked amazed that I turned t around but I did’t want to back it all the way out and around the store they have stuff sitting there people walking all around and cars all around. At that point I was just happy to have my truck back, I could have probably backed it all the way home if I had too. I was so nice to have room not feel smashed it the doors close like they should not have to worry about them popping open or it dying and walking and the kids were so glad to have air that worked like it should and vents in the back so they could feel it when it was on. Now to pay the bills and wait for the rest of my money to come so that I can pay up on the rent and things.

{June 17, 2015}   Determined Not to Move

When father of the year left I had my money worked out and had enough to pay my bills for a few month. I have since worked out to make sure they were taken care of until August. Well father of the year hasn’t given my anything since he moved out. Let me explain he did he gave me $200 once and then I “borrowed” around $100 once. Well then he needed money and I lent him some. He was supposed to get his vacation pay and give it back to me. Then he tells me he couldn’t get it. He paid a little on my light bill that is it. He is down to have given me less than $200 in all the time he has been gone.

I had money coming from school I was going to use to pay my rent. Well they explained it to me wrong and I didn’t get the money. I had to pay my rent late and the office is all over me now. I got a call from the owner of the office the other week he was really nasty. I had to pay late once before and it was no problem. They worked with me. Most the year that we have been here my rent has been paid up 3 or 4 months ahead. I figured I explain to them I didn’t have it but when I would have it and that when I paid it I planed to pay July and August rent as well. He didn’t care then tried to tell me I didn’t have a lease. I signed a lease the first of April or May when mine was up. I didn’t want them to just come in and tell me they were doing this or that and I needed to move or that they wanted to raise my rent. They lost their copy of it. Then he started trying to tell me that it wasn’t any good because they didn’t check my employment. Not they don’t’ check that when you sign a new one and they can’t not give me a new one because of my living situation. He wanted to know why I was late and if i lost my job. I told him no was honest with him told him i had never had one. That I was looking for one that father of the year had left and was not paying and that I had money coming but it didn’t come when it was supposed to and I was trying to figure out why. That’s when he got nasty and basicaly said we had to move. I said you know i been here a year this place sat empty for a year or more before for i moved in it. I have had my rent paid in advance most the time i lived here this one time I am having a problem and you can’t give me a little bit of time and work with me? He said we don’t care if your rent has been paid up the whole time you been here your late we are giving you 3 days notice to get out. If not we will file with the court Monday. Then wanting to know how I planed to pay it at the end of the month and keep it on time from here. I told him I had money coming and that I was looking for a job and that I had money I got every month. That this month I had this happen I didn’t know that I was trying to make it right. He said oh well you will be getting notice Tuesday or Wednesday. I was so mad I wanted to hang up on him long before when he started drilling me about why I was late my job and all that but I didn’t. I didn’t want to make matters worse. I finally just said ok I guess we will see what happens when he said he was posting the note and it had to be paid by Friday and he hung up.

I called the office and talked to the lady I normally deal with and talk to her. I just told her that I would have it Monday but I didn’t see a point in paying it if they were going to give me a three day notice to get out. It was Tuesday then. She said well if you bring it by Monday even with the notice you will be ok because it would be Thursday Friday and Monday. I said but if they send me a notice then I am going to have a fee for that on top of the late fee I already have and the fee you all are charging to do a new lease. I am going to be paying out my rent money for other months in fees. So if I am going to be in the same spot in a few weeks I may as well move. She said don’t worry I am going to try and take care of it just get the money and get it in here. I never got a notice. I think she is the one who is supposed to send it to the lawyer to be written up and posted. She probably just didn’t send it and didn’t say anything. She told me before if she didn’t do the stuff around there it didn’t get done. Just like my roof the owner of the company never called told me he did she had to a week later.

I am asking father of the year what am I supposed to do, where am I supposed to get money? I’m sitting here so sick from it all and the stress I can’t stand it. I was physically sick for days. He just acts like it is no big deal and says I don’t know like always. Then it was well we can sell the van. The one may dad left me. Right now it needs some stuff I wouldn’t get much if I sold it. I could scrap it and get hardly nothing because the price of metal is down. Even if I scrapped it I wouldn’t have enough to do anything or pay anything I needed to. I have maybe $250 when I needed $1100.

The kids were supposed to go to camp Sunday and they needed stuff. He said they just can’t go to camp. I said no that isn’t right the kids aren’t going to not go to camp because you fucked up again. I said it isn’t their fault you screwed up at work and got demoted to a lower paying hard to make money at position. I said we sit here why you pay for cars you hit, tool boxes you tore up and tickets you racked up at work and do with out. I said we don’t even mean enough that we can have a house to live in and bills paid. We can just be homeless.

No no that isn’t how it is at all. I have to keep my job and I give you money when I have it or I can. I have to pay bills too and rent. I said well rather you have it or not our bills still need paid as well. I had my part of things for months here and should still have money to have paid the rent even if that school money didn’t come. But I have been picking up your slack for what you are not paying since you moved out and now I don’t have it. If I hadn’t been paying everything and doing it all and he had been helping even with half of what he is supposed to give me when my money didn’t come I should have been able to go down pay my rent and not had to worry about it one bit. But I couldn’t because I have less than $250. Then he says to me I am so tried of everyone looking at me, talking about me and acting like I am a deadbeat dad that don’t help take care of my kids. I said then stop being one because right now that is what you are. You don’t pay your part to help support them, you can’t even buy them food when they come to your house, I am paying everything here for them and buying the food they eat why they are at your house and now because you lied yet again I lent you money to help you so your not homeless and now we are going to be because again you didn’t do what you said you were going to do and again you act like it is no big deal and poor you and what everyone thinks of you. When it comes down to it and we are down to being out any day and your asked for help what do you say? Well you could sell the van, you could sell this and that. Sell my stuff give them my money again not I could sell this or I could try to get money for that. Just sell my stuff where is this of mine where did this money go. Screamed at me because I took less than $100 and took my kids on the trip to the light house and things that one day. We packed lunch and snacks hardly spent any money other than gas money. I had $1000’s at the time and had a little extra to do something nice for them and it still wouldn’t have put me short had he been doing his part. Told everyone I blew my money and didn’t pay bills and not getting thrown out and mad at him for not giving me more money when he is already giving me money. He stupid my best friends husband works with him and knows how it is. Why he sits and tells everyone all this. I guess he thinks we don’t talk just me and her talk but he knows because his wife was with me when I took every last dime i had and paid bills with it.

I ended up taking my truck and pawning it until I get money next week to pay my bills. I can’t believe I had to do something like that. I have never had to go so far as selling or pawning my vehicle when I really don’t have anything else to drive. I have the van but the door i have to get the kids in and out of sticks closed most the time it isn’t safe, there are no back widows to get air and the air is broke they get sick riding around in it, something is wrong with the oil sending unit or something not really sure it has no pressure when you step on the break. I have to now drive it almost 100 miles two hours a way to pick my kids up at camp.

I called around last week and there was hardly anywhere that even took trucks or cars and the only one close to me said they were full. The closes one I could find to even take it was 40 miles away. Between that and wanting to make sure the kids got to camp I waited until Monday to pawn it. I am glad I did I went over to the shop around the corner from me and the lady said she didn’t think they had room she went and talk to some guy there he came over and talk to me. He wanted to know what I had and how much I wanted and everything. He said the same thing he didn’t think he had room for something that big. I said look I only need to leave it here until Thursday/Friday at the latest and if everything comes through like it is supposed to I will be back here Tuesday to get it. If you could just fit it in somewhere. I said I don’t care if you leave it sitting out front out of the fence, I don’t have but one key for it your going to have it. He looked at it and everything and said he would take it. So I borrowed $1100 on it to pay the rent and the bills that were going to needed paid if my money didn’t come before next Friday. The guy was really nice I told him what was going on why I needed it, he wanted to give me more I told him no I just need this much for this reason I don’t want to borrow more because I am coming to get it back and if i borrow more I will short myself in the long run. He lowered the interest rate so I wouldn’t have to pay back as much. I was going to have to pay back right at $300 but now I have to pay back little less than $200.

I feel a lot better but still worried about going to pick up the kids at camp Sunday. We took the van in October but it didn’t have as many problems. I guess we shall see.

et cetera
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