Single___Parent___Life











{July 11, 2019}   Other SUV’s vs. Mine

It has been hell trying to find another vehical, I have looked in 4 states trying to find something I want or would be happy with. The smaller and newer suv’s I just don’t like. I couldn’t figure out why.

The next one down from mine are nice I have had 2 in the past. But the new motors are horrible. They have problems, expensive to fix if they can be. Bff has had 2 and my friend with the car lot has one he put a ton of money into and still can’t get it fixed.

I figured out with the new suv’s most are smaller, hatchbacks and have one back seat. If it has a 3rd it is right against the back hatch. Even if you do not have the 3rd seat there is next to no cargo room if you don’t put the back seat down. You can’t with kids in the car.

In my truck I have enough room behind my 3rd row I could put a 4th seat back there, so lots of cargo room. I have it without folding seats or taking them out or losing seating. If I need more I can take one or two seats out or fold them and have a ton of cargo room. I have had a washer and drier in my truck and still had room I could put other stuff.

In the new ones I lose 2 to 3 seating space and still don’t have cargo room without folding the seat down again how do you do that if you have kids. I would be happy if I just had room for me all 4 kids and one extra person if they wanted to go.

I decided I would rather have a 4 door F150 or F250 with bench seat in the front and back. Then I would have seating for one extra person and cargo room. Best of all I wouldn’t have to always be putting seats up and down.

But finding a truck with 4 full doors that is in good shape inside and out and decent miles is impossible with the money I am working with. Even another truck like mine with a different motor is hard to find at a decent price and they are 2005 or older since they stop making them.

Everything is trashed or has 200,000 miles or more. Or they are both.



Last night when I got to  work there were a handful of the days guys there and the owner was still there as well. They left and in a little bit the owner came in and he sat down and was talking to me and the guy training me. He asked how I liked it so far and what I thought. I told him I liked it so far and it didn’t seem like something I couldn’t handle and do or mind doing.

He sat and talked for a while and about everything. He was talking about how even though they are going “over the road” they still get their home time and the pay is still good and doing extra little things for them to help them out and things to keep them and make it worth it to them. Even if it wasn’t the ideal freight to haul and deal with it was worth it.

He said something about how some of them had all these other jobs and jump from one to the other and get ripped off and screwed by so many of these companies and things. I said yeah people say oh I have had so many jobs and things. I said but I am always looking to move up and or better myself and so if I can’t do it here I move on to over there if the chance comes. I said and then I have had some that it comes down to the bullshit outweighs the pay and it is time to move on. I said like when I did fast food I decided to just not go back in one day because I decided that it was better to leave on my own than to be escorted out.

He looked and said something and the guy training me looked like he didn’t know what to say at first. In a second he laughed and said yeah your right the bullshit starts outweighing the pay it is time to walk. The owner said and that is what we are trying to keep from happening here. He said because it is nasty at times there is bullshit at times but we don’t want it to be not worth it to the drivers. We want to take care of them and help them and if they do a little extra or something then I will through them a little extra on their check. He said it is just taking care of your employee’s.

He said I have one guy has been here for 18 years, he came in at 30 something didn’t have any teeth. He said he would always turn away when he laughed or smiled or cover his mouth and things. He said I have a friend he makes the teeth for the dentist around here. He said we were talking one day he said hey I can do the impressions and all that and make them for like $900 if he don’t have any. He said so I sent him over there and had it done. You wouldn’t believe how much that changed him.

He said actually right now I am working on getting two more sets made for a couple of the guys out there right now. He said they are talking about how much it is going to change their lives and things. He said I wouldn’t have thought something like that would be so life changing but it is. He said I could of just gave them $900 to do whatever with or for doing the extra or going that extra mile but it isn’t the same when you take the time and do something for them instead. He said they have to feel that we care and that they matter. I said yeah I know what you are talking about.

He said something about them calling in and being their concealer and things like that. He said but it makes a huge difference if you just talk to them for a bit help them see things from a different view or give them some ideas of how to handle whatever is going on. He said it might be a crisis in their life at the time they are in a truck not home and this or that is going on, your their life line. I said I have had crisis intervention. He said oh your a huge asset to this company you just moved to upper management.

He was talking about how they have dysfunctions and things and we all do but theirs are a little more extreme or they don’t know how to deal with them or want to deal with them and things. I said it is how they deal with them is a lot of it. He said yes. How they are loners and don’t want to deal with people be with people or part of a family or tribe. He said even the worse of the worse really do. I said well I have had psychology and abnormal psychology as well. I said I have taken all those kinds of classes. He said you should have no problem getting along with the guys and dealing with them your are rounded and can see where they are coming from and things. He said I think your voice will be better than hearing one of ours over all whatever it is going on anyway.

He was talking about growing and moving the building across the street I guess having one built over there. It is like a dirt driveway really he owns that as well. He said we have the work we are turning work down everyday because we don’t have the trucks and drivers to haul it. He said I could add 20 or 30 trucks tomorrow and have them all on the road with no problems. But I don’t have the drivers to put in them. He said I am trying to up the pay and get more drivers so that I can get more trucks up and going. He said because work isn’t the problem we have it and can get it easy.

I let him know I like the job and that why I hadn’t done much but listen and things I did not think it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle and that I planed to stay. He made a comment about seeing if I liked it there and if they felt it was a good fit before they spent a bunch of time and things to train me. One of the other guys said something along the same lines. I wanted them to know I had no plans of leaving and that I wanted to get trained and start doing more as soon as I could.

I think because it is a bunch of guys they are worried. They aren’t use to having a women in there working with them so closely I guess. There are the others in the office but they I don’t really deal with them on a one or one taking care of their problems kind of thing like I am. There are 7 or 8 of us doing my job and the are all guys. But like I told them I am not bothered by that at all. I am use to working with guys and really like I have said here before would rather to. They are just easier to get a long with and deal with most the time. They either like you or they don’t. If they don’t they aren’t giving you no mind, they will deal with you when they have to and forget about you when they don’t. With women it is different they don’t like you or you piss them off they get all catty and things. I don’t deal with that. I will say something and just hurt feelings and piss people off more. The guys they get pissed about something in a few minutes they have forgotten or gotten over it if not they will have by tomorrow or they will give you shit and you go on from there. Most time. You will have a few here and there that will get butt hurt and oh well your not the only one that has a problem with them anyway and everyone knows how they are.

I told him things I need to make it easier for me and to know what is going on. He said they don’t have a lot written down because he don’t want things getting out to other companies and things like that. I am just going to tell the guy who is training me tonight, look I really need to have this, this, and this in order to really understand what is going on and be able to do my job and help these guys when they call in. So I need you to help me get this put together so that I can do what I need to do. I can put it in a folder or leave it on the computer. Right now I don’t have a desk or anything. I am using someone’s desk that leaves before I get there and we are sharing the computer. I guess I will have a desk when the guy who is training me leaves. Because they have no extra ones right now. I hope I get his I like where it is and how it is set up. It is over in the corner by it’s self. the rest are lined up your elbow to elbow with everyone. The one I am working at now is like that. Even though there isn’t anyone there next to me at night I don’t like the set up. I just want mine over in the corner I can be left alone.



{September 1, 2018}   Feeling Stagnet

I am feeling so stagnet and confined right now. I feel like the atmosphere is just so thick and suffocating. Maybe toxic is the word I’m looking for, I don’t know really.

After I have struggled so long or so much has happen somewhere I just feel that I need to get away and have a brand new start. I feel like we have grown and done all we can there and there is just to much bad than good to want to stay around. I don’t know if that is the depression talking or just because I am not use to being in one place long term. Growing up we moved at least once a year if not every 6 months. Since I been on my own 10/11 years out of 14 have been spent living in one of two house. The others were a little ruff and bounced. But for the most part we been stable in that area. Maybe my brain can handle same for a while but then needs change.

I went and looked at furniture a little bit ago. Seen a few things I liked not much. What I did I do not think will fit in my livingroom. I can’t get anything right now anyway. Just wanted to see what the two stores had that I may want to keep an eye on for future sells.

But I bounce between moving away and just getting new here. I have thought about moving somewhere here if I could swing it but I know I can’t. That here in this house is the best place for us if we are not moving away. Its 3 doors from the school, it’s cheaper than anywhere else I will get, i been here so long I am good with the owners. I can pretty much stay here as long as I want and not worry about having to move and things. I feel that when I move I am supposed to be moving out of state not around here. I think I am going to sage the house really good when I get her and everything out and start over.



{June 10, 2018}   A New Page

Not sure if new pages that are published show up when your looking at your list of followers and what they posted or not. So I figured why not let you all know. That I posted a page with a list of who is who and how they tie in. This way if your not sire who I am talking about or who someone is you can look and see. I know I have forgotten some will add them as I think of them and will add new ones as they come up. You can always ask and I can let you know and/or add them to them to the list.



{May 3, 2018}   Love People

Just seemed fitting after my last post. Love then where they are and watch what happens.



I am so excited I got my grade and feedback on My Big Project tonight and I couldn’t believe it. I got full credit for both parts and this is the feedback I got from my teacher about it……………

“absolutely excellent job on your Genogram assignment! Your Genogram by far was one of the most comprehensive, clear and organized that I have seen. I really enjoyed reading your family story and for not being close to your entire family you definitely had a lot of information that you have acquired and gathered. I think that you discovered some very interesting patterns within your family. It sounds like your Grandma’s passing was a catalyst for a lot of developing dynamics. And I am sorry for the loss of your father, it sounds like you and your kids were very close with him. I hope that that project gave you some deeper insight into your family and helps you continue to develop your family dynamics in a healthy and balanced way!”

I was shocked, I expected to get a passing grade but not a very high grade maybe a high C or low B for effort because I did have a lot of information but not a lot of dates and things. Plus I did the diagram with word just kind of free drawing it all the best I could and adding information the best way I could figure out how. I then wrote all that I could think of and knew about my family and who all was involved even though I didn’t have dates for a lot of it. When I checked my grades and seen I had full credit I was happy but when I read the note that was left with the grade I was blown away. Never did I expect that at all. At least there was something positive to end my night on.



{January 16, 2017}   Left The Library

You know I don’t know why I left the library today when I did, I went to do all my work and get it done before I left figured I would stop at the kid’s school on the way home and wait for them to get out. Then I got hungry and tired and something just kept telling me to just save it so I could finish when I got home. I finally did and left. When I got outside I seen a truck with the hood open and a guy walking around it. He kept going back and forth to the front and the back. I walked by and got in my truck it looked like he was getting cables out of the back. I went by as I was leaving and he was behind it doing something. I thought he was getting the cables untangled but he came back with nothings. I asked him as he came around the side if he needed a jump he said yes and ran back around to get them. I finally got my hood open and we hooked it up and jumped it right off. It seemed to jump off pretty fast like as soon as he turned it over it started the first time. I think it is kind of odd but I don’t know. He unhooked the I got in my truck and left. I guess he did it would be kind of crazy for him to be trying to get someone to stop and help him to do something to them right there. He was in the first space just about in the middle of the parking lot right in front of the library. It’s a large library with a lot of meetings, kids activities and all kinds of other stuff going on all the time.

I don’t even know why I had that thought after I left because I never think that way about people and stop to help people all the time if it looks like something I can help with. Hell I even got in the truck with three different guys three different times over the years when I ran out of gas. Once my fault the other two was when the fuel pump was going on my dad’s van and we didn’t know it. Never once did I think anything of it or that anything bad may happen. Even when the one guy said to me you’re not going to kill me are you joking around. There was nothing odd or weird about this guy today you’re your average older gentleman in a little truck that needed a jump.



Freedom of speech is not just spoken words, freedom of speech is about written words and actions as well. Seeing how speech is our way of expressing our thoughts and feelings about things we encounter in life, there should be no limits put on speech.If we let the government starts putting limits on our right to freedom of speech, we risk ending up like North Korea, Eritrea, and Saudi Arabia to name a few.

In the case of Tinker v. Des Moines, 393 U.S. 503 (1969), the courts ruled that students could wear black armbands to protest the. Today we see shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and bags telling us why we shouldn’t support this cause, organization, or person for whatever reason. Even not saluting the flag or burning it in protest, are rights protected under freedom of speech as determined by, West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624 (1943) and Texas v. Johnson, 491 U.S. 397 (1989);United States v.Eichman, 496 U.S. 310 (1990).

A lot of people are not happy when they see or hear of people doing these kinds of things, they feel a stop should be put to it. In putting a stop to it you are now taking away their rights to freedom of speech just because they are doing something different than you would. How can you tell people they can’t feel or think this way or that? Our thoughts and feelings are what makes us human and different from each other. We really have no control over how we feel about things, we can change or mind about the way we think about something but if truly don’t feel that way it isn’t going to last long or we are not going to be happy because we aren’t being true to ourselves. In the case of Tinker v. Des Moines, 393 U.S. 503 (1969) it was said “Students do not shed their constitutional rights at the schoolhouse gate. ”Why should we lose them to our country or any other group just because our views don’t match up to theirs?

Letting the government or any other group put limits on our right to freedom of speech is a dangerous form of control for them to have. We run the risk of ending up like countries such as Eritrea, North Korea, and SaudiArabia.According to Community To Protect Journalist, they are the top three censored countries and restrict journal is the most. They are only allowed to report what the countries say or risk imprisonment. There is no going to your computer or pulling out your phone to try to get news or information from other places because they not only have tight restrictions on journalist but the people of the countries as well. Internet is dial up at best and heavily restricted as are cell phones. On the CPJ.org site it says not only is Eritrea ranked number on as most restricted it has the least amount of cell phone users in the world at just 5.6 percent of the population. North Korea is only slightly higher with 9.7 percent of the population having cell phones. They can not account for the ones smuggled in from China.

These are just are the reasons I feel we should not put limits on our rights to freedom of speech and a few examples of why.



et cetera
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