Single___Parent___Life











{September 16, 2020}   Screwed Up Big Time

I can not believe how badly I have screwed up and now have to tell JW as well. As you all know I stopped taking my birth control a few weeks ago after ending up in the hospital. I told JW at the tome what I found when I started researching it and the side effects. I found I had some of the more sever and uncommon ones. He agreed I shouldn’t take it anymore and we would figure something else out as he put it.

I didn’t forget I stopped taking it or what. I just wasn’t thinking about it. Twice lately he has told me he was about to cum said where or something like that. I just said okay or what. He always tells me sometimes I tell him not yet or something. So I didn’t think anything of it. I did the way he said it but for a split second and figured I miss understood what he said or he miss spoke. After that split second I forgot about it.

Last night was one of those nights. He finished before I was expecting him to. He asked what was wrong I told him he was just like oh sorry that was that. I wasn’t happy the way he acted.

I got up for a while after that, then tossed and turned all night. I just didn’t feel good. I was thinking about it this morning on the way to work. I went put my lunch up and was going back to my desk. What he said hit me and what he meant hit me like a ton of bricks. That made me feel even sicker. My stomach was already in knots. I was distracted all day and messed up at work and everything else thinking about it all. I just wanted to come home be with him sit down and talk. I did not want to be at work today. Had I not missed so much already I probably would of left.

He was asking me if he should pull out or not when he said he was going to cum and where he should. Since I stopped taking the pill. At the moment I wasn’t thinking of that. I had told him we had to be really careful because a lot of people get pregnant right away when they stop taking them and things. Here I messed up.

I don’t know if he thinks I am tracking monthly or what. Because that is what I was doing when we got together and have used for years now. I have started back but you have to track for a few months or so for it to get all the information and be right. Because I had not had my monthly but once why I was on the pills and being on them changes it all anyway since you can start it when you want. I haven’t been trying to track it myself because it is all messed up. I had one last month was about 7 or 8 days long and pretty bad. Then nothing for 12 days because I started the new week of pills. But then stopped them all together it started again for 4 days. It is going to take time to get back on a normal cycle again.

I can’t believe I wasn’t thinking about what he meant when he said it and told him oh it’s fine. One night I had gotten triggered and just wanted to be done. So he said he was ready i was like go ahead. Last night it just happen i was like your fine. I don’t know how he is going to react. But he can’t get to mad right. I mean he hasn’t asked if or what I am doing to keep anything from happening. Or question how do you know it’s okay. He was just going to pull out and that is no where near a sure thing. I hope everything is fine this is the last thing I need right now.



et cetera
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