{April 24, 2018}   Re: Giving Up

I didn’t say anything to Starfish today, just see if he say anything finally or what. He never did so about 5 this evening I just sent hey, no reply. About 6 I said what is going on? I am thinking okay 2 days now your not answering and it hit me it has been 3 days not 2, since I last heard from him. I then was more thinking something is wrong, something just is not right. I could see 2 days maybe just to think clear his head. I get that way just don’t answer. But fof him not to say anything for 3 days no.

I was worried and frustrated as well, still trying to decide what was going on. I started to ask my friend if she could find anything out through the guys at the shop. But really did not want to. She don’t know how much we are talking or what is going on. It’s better that way.

So I messaged him one last time a little after 8. I said,

Really with everything that you have going on, and after saying stuff like this…….
Hey just to let u know if I do something stupid and u never see or hear from me don’t be mad.
You say nothing for three days?

About an hour later he says, hey I’m okay, I will call you tomorrow okay. I said okay just making sure. But found it odd that was all he said and that he would “call” me tomorrow. We mostly just text, all this time we have been talking for weeks now has been just text, until last Friday when I was doing pizza’s, i called him he called me because I was driving.

Anyway about 15 minutes later my phone is blowing up, its him. He said I had a lot of shit that happen since we talked last. I got jumped and robbed. I just got my phone back today. I aske where he was and where he is now? All he will say is I will call you tomorrow. I said okay I have to be at work by 11am. He said okay.

Now I am thinking that he did like I am thinking and went to a friends house got in trouble or situation whatever you want to call it where this happen. He probably still there going home tomorrow he’s had time to heal up or what. Didn’t want to go back to his moms beat up or what her know what he done, what happen or what. Just like when he got the money to pay the guy he said I will be home once I meet him, I don’t want you there see what happens to me. Just let me handle it then I be there we will talk. Then he said well it depends how bad I am, I am not coming home with the kids there if I look to bad. He don’t want people to know. I know he is embarrassed about it. He didn’t want the kids to be worried he didn’t want to answer questions what happen or to have tell them or lie to them. He don’t want his mom her husband to because her husband will have a fit.

I hope he calls we can talk. I want to ask him straight out or tell him straight up I know what your doing. But I want to talk to him about getting help not just doing it on his own. Really talk about it not him feel like I am downing him or trying to get on him or what. I think I will see if I can get him to go look at that place Friday and try to talk to him then.

Please pray, send good vibes or what ever you do. He’s a friend going through a lot, I hate to see friends really going through shit like this. Day to day things is one thing but this really is a big deal. Just like my other friend and the stuff she is going through with her daughter its not stuff that oh things will settle down in a few days. It’s things that its going to take a lot to work through and really get through and will have lasting effects from now on. They both really are good people who did stupid things. Pray for them both and the ones of us trying to help.

{March 13, 2014}   I Was Robbed

I was robbed of being able to enjoy my pregnancy. I was robbed of having the labor and delivery I so wanted, with the person I wanted to be there. I was robbed of the family I loved more than life it’s self. I was robbed of a father for my daughter. I was robbed of the one and only person on this earth that I love as much as my kids. I was robbed of the one person I have truly been happy with in many many years. I was robbed of the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was robbed of my partner my best friend my true other half. I was robbed of my soul mate.

I wasn’t robbed by someone with a gun. I wasn’t robbed by someone with a knife. I wasn’t robbed by a car accident. I wasn’t robbed by some horrible illness. I wasn’t robbed by an injury. I wasn’t robbed by some freak accident.

I was robbed by something very simple. I was robbed by something of all different sizes. I was robbed by something of many different shapes. I was robbed by something of many different colors. I was robbed by something that goes by many different names. I was robbed by something that’s in just about any given home.

I was robbed by pills! I was robbed by addiction!

et cetera
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