{December 26, 2019}   Hanging Out and Catching Up

Saturday night I was out with the kids, we had went to dinner and stopped at a few stores to look around. We were in the craft store and for some reason I was looking at Facebook and seen a friend in suggested people you may know. I had not talk to them in a long time. Probably 5 years or so. Other than at the store how you doing a couple of times since then. We grew up together since were pretty little.

We use to be friends online before but I had noticed he had stop posting and not been on in a while. I am not sure we are even still friends. I sent him a friend request and he accepted almost right away and sent me a message.

We talked all evening catching up, what we had been up to, where we live now and things. Come to find out his best friend lives two houses away from me. Right outside the gate of the kids school. We can see each others houses from our front yards. He lives about a mile and half up the road from us.

He told me a few times that he was off the next day and that he was going over there and things. He asked what I was going to be doing? I told him I had to finish my Christmas shopping. I would be running around. He said something else. I asked him if he wanted to go with me? He said yes it would be nice to hang out and catch up. I told him what time I would be leaving my house and headed to his. We talked for a while still and finally stopped so we could get some sleep.

Sunday I got things I needed to do done and went over and picked him up. I headed up to one of the stores I needed to make sure I got to before they closed since they closed the earliest. Then I thought I hadn’t asked him if he had a time he needed to be home, where he needed to go since he had said he needed to do some last minute shopping as well. I asked him he laughed and said he didn’t really have a time to be back and he could get something where ever. He said he was just supposed to go to his friends house sometime that day but in no rush.

We talked and laughed all day and ran around shopping. He said he was hungry so we stopped he bought lunch. It was a nice day over all. I realized at some point it was later than I thought and asked him if he wanted me to drop him off at home or his friends house? I had a few other things I was going to go do. He said nope I’m in no hurry unless you want rid of me. I’m enjoying myself and the day, it’s been a long time since we hung out and got to catch up. He kept saying different times he was having a good time, and how nice it was hanging out.

He picked up a toy for his friends little girl why we were at one of the stores and the gift he needed for Christmas we stopped at his house for something and he took them in and dropped them off. He showed me his new place and was excited about it. He said he just got it October. He broke up with his girlfriend in September. His boss helped him find this place and get into it. It isn’t a million dollars like most things around here.

He had me drop him off at home and then went over to his friends later. He messaged me all evening and that night. I finally told him he better get off his phone and hangout with his friends. He said okay I’ll talk to you when I get home. I said okay. We have talked off and on all day since Saturday when he first messaged me. He tried to get me to go out with him and his friends Sunday night but I told him I had to do the tree with the kids and things. He said oh yeah he forgot.

Then Monday he asked me about the tree and I told him the Disaster I ended up with and that I was going shopping after work. That is when he went and done what he did.

We are going out for my birthday this evening when I get off at my night job. I am leaving at 9 tonight. He wants to go and I think Bff is going and maybe a few other friends. When I said something he was the first to respond and say he wanted to go.

Sunday night after I had dropped him off I thought of something and messaged him. I asked him if he remembered my birthday party when I was little and lived over on the other side of the neighborhood where I live now? Him and his brother spending the night and him having his skateboard. He said yes I was just learning to skateboard then. I asked if he remembered the fight we got into? He didn’t. I told him about it. I had his board in the street laying on it pushing myself around and he wanted it back and I wouldn’t give it back. He dumped me off of it in the street. Now we are in the street fighting over it. He had one set of wheels I had the other it was upside down. (I have told this on here before but can’t find it) I some how got it away from him and smacked him in the head with it pretty hard. I got my ass busted and sent to my room. He laughed and said no he didn’t remember that. I said probably because it wasn’t his party and he wasn’t the one that got his ass busted that time. Some of us was always getting our ass busted for something back then. He said sorry, I said your sorry I’m the one that smacked you in the head with a skateboard Lol.

I have enjoyed talking to him and hanging out. Like he said it was nice to catch up, vent and just have a relaxed day.

It’s nice to catch up and meet up with old friends. I had just been telling someone else a day or two before that, that I missed hanging out with old friends and not seeing them or talking to them like I use to when my older kids were little. That my kids missed growing up with their kids like they were. I just isolated us so much when everything got bad with Father of the year and after. I am going to try and put together a pot luck kind of thing at the park I think and invite everyone. Maybe try to plan something once a month or something for us all to get together or the ones that can. Maybe different places the kids can play and have fun sometimes other times just adult day or night out. get everyone back together again because a lot are saying they hardly see anyone as well or here and there or just a few. I think it will be nice.

{November 18, 2018}   Lazy Saturday

So this was Saturday not sure why it did not publish.

Sitting here at the my friends barber shop waiting to get the kids hair cut. Then off to find Little Bitty a jacket of some kind. Hers from last year is to small and got a big tear in it. The stuff it is made of you can’t really fix it. She has been wearing a little fleace pull over shirt thing.

Its nice having a Saturday off. Not having to get up early to be at work or rush to get things together before for I have to go foe the night. Even though I was awake at 7 something this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I laid their doing things on my phone for a while finally the little kids got up. We made the big kids get up they all got ready. Now we are just out wasting time not a lot to do other than haircuts and get a jacket.

A new store open over by my work at the mall. I think we are going to go over and check it out. Its an outlet store they buy or get things from the stores that close in the area. Just going to check it out see what they have.


{November 14, 2017}   Why Do We Spend Money

When we don’t have it and are worried how to pay everything and when we are going to get more? It seems like the more I think about not having money the more I want to spend. I hadn’t really spent any on stuff we didn’t need but could of waited on some I am sure. Then last night I went to the store with a friend to get milk, juice and that kind of stuff. I ended up spending $30, I don’t even know what I spent it all on, I know I bought make up and a $1 dress up dress for Little Bitty. I figured it to be about $35 but it came to $30 so that was good at least. I don’t know why I wanted make up I hardly ever wear it and have not had any decent make up since me and R.C broke up. The make up I had when we were together I had, had for years it is no wonder it all broke up and was a mess. I bought some a year or so ago and took it back because it was horrible. I been wanting some for a while I just got basic eye-liner, mascara, eye-shadow and a nail polish. I wanted to do my make up a way and take some pictures in the outfit I was in last night and today but never got to do either one. I want to do my nails and make up for tomorrow but don’t know if I will get to or not. I should have time, I have to take my little one to school then go back in a few hours and have lunch for the holiday with her. I should have time after I drop her off to come home and do it. After lunch I have to go to the shop and work.

I don’t know why I even wanted to take the pictures much less do the make up too. I have no one to take the pictures either other than my oldest and who knows if she will even take good pictures.

I am at a stand still on my weight loss, hoping to get back on track in the next few days. I have been at the same weight for about a month or two now. But I didn’t want to do anything to push myself to start losing again because I had lost so much so fast. Most the time if I lose it that fast I will not maintain I will gain it back. I wanted to just maintain for a little bit let my body get over the shock of losing so much and get use to a new normal. Now I think that I am ready to really go at it and try to lose some more. I have 44 pounds more to lose and I will be happy. I need to check I may have already threw my body into shock and be losing again. I have not checked in a week or so. But over the last three days up until tonight I had been cooking nice meals again not just whatever I could throw together and get over with. Boy I know I ate way to much. I may have gain after the night of pork chops. I was pretty good and didn’t eat as much of the roast last night and only three slices of pizza tonight. I know part of the eating is the mood I am in as well but oh my it was so good too.

Now I am rambling I got to get off here, I should be going to bed it is almost 11:30 and I am wanting to play with the make up I bought last night and I want to leave it in the bag and take it back all at the same time. I also just had the thought of doing a picture for Christmas cards and wanting to look up so cute ideas for that. I just jump from one thing to another to another like flipping through the pages of a book.

{September 5, 2017}   Should be Sleeping

Sitting here listening to music and thinking, it’s 1 am I should be sleeping. I have to be at work at 8 am. Just at the shop watching the guys collecting money or whatever needs to be done. They will be on their way home from their trip to Tenn. Waiting to hear if I am going to get to work this week with my sister and her husband or not. At least that would give me a little money to hold me over the next few weeks or to help. I am supposed to get my money from school Friday. I owe so much out but I think I will be okay as long as this storm don’t cause us to much problems this next week or two. I can’t afford to leave and I can’t not leave if they say we are going to get to much of a hit from it. If it was just me I didn’t have the kids I wouldn’t worry about it I just wait it out and hope for the best.

If we have to leave it is going to take a big chunk of money and I don’t want to do that. I need that money for a lwayer and hopefully get a new truck, pay bills and buy Christmas. I have enough to pay rent for just about 7 months, but I need to pay my sister back and I really think I need to find a different truck than keep putting money into this one. I really should have never bought this truck but I just lost my dad needed something to drive and knew if I didn’t get something Father of the Year would have my money spent because I couldn’t get it away form him. I finally just said fine go get it. I have a guy who still wants to buy it not sure how much I can get out of it but I can’t sell it until I get something else. I don’t need to be in a spot like I was when I bought this one where I need it. I can still drive this one for a while but it isn’t going to last me a while like I want it to unless I put some money into it and I don’t want to put that kind of money into it. It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t need hood, fenders, shocks in the hood, back hatch and painted. I think the air needs fixed as well. The air is a lot. I figure by the time I put all that money into it I could just get another and right now the prices aren’t to bad on them. I found a few with the 7.3 motor I want for a decent price. I found one that was okay priced and I could probably get them talked down even lower, but it has been wrecked in the front like mine. It needs a lot of the same parts as mine and it will need painted like mine does. But it has the better motor in it and I have the parts priced out, I can get them for not a lot if I get them down on the price of the truck then I could probably bring it home get all the parts and put on it then take my truck now and trade it to get the paint job it needs and be out less than if I fixed my truck. I would have the motor I wanted and nicer truck. I have made a list of about 12 to look at and talk to the people about before I decide what I am going to do. Most are about two hours away from me so I am waiting to get my money see what this storm is going to do then set it up so I can make a trip out of it when I drop the kids off at school and go for the day look at as many as I can in one area. If I find something I like then I can talk to them see what kind of price I can get it for and go back down another day or that day depending on how long I have before I have to get the kids and get it. I am going to look at a bunch before I pick one. That way the people know that I motivated to buy if I get the right truck at the right price. Right now with gas prices going up helps too because they know they are going to have to come down on the price of the trucks because people are not wanting to buy them when gas is up to $2.65 a gallon right now. But like I told my friend, it saves me $100’s to $1000’s off when I buy and even if I pay a little more for gas once in a while I still don’t end up spending what I saved on the price in gas. I don’t go that far I don’t use that much gas and gas prices don’t stay up that long. And when I have a list and I am looking at a bunch of different ones that are in the same shape in the same area or close people know well they want this for that one and it is same as mine she will just go buy that one if I don’t sell mine for a good price they come down too if they are really wanting to sell. I will tell them well I have this many others to go look at that are in this shape or that for about the same or cheaper so I have to go check them out before I pick one. I don’t want to jump on the first thing I look at and I need to get the best deal I can and the best for my money it has to last me a while. One thing I don’t like is that a lot of them are on lots and I hate to buy off lots but to get what I want I guess I will. I have thought about making payments even on one to get what I want that is in really good shape. But I still have to get it at a good price and make sure I can get it paid off by Feb. and still have money to pay the lawyer. No matter what the lawyer comes first.

I am also going to keep looking and adding to my list this week and taking some off. There were two or three I called about that have not called me back I figure they are gone. I am bad I love to car/truck shop. I said that to my boss the other day we were talking about shopping for some reason. I said I don’t like to shop for clothes and things. My shopping for clothes, shoes or a purse is walking through the store and seeing something I like. If I have the money and it fits then I will pick it up. But to just go shop hardly ever unless I have too. I said I like to shop for trucks and big ticket things like furniture. He like your a special kind of women, I just laughed. But it’s true I have always like shopping for cars and was always the one to wheel and deal when we had to get a new car.


{May 9, 2017}   The Worse Part of it All

I think the worse part of everything that has happened here the last week or so is the fact that I now have to go help my mom and take her everywhere when she needs to go. Friday and Sunday I went to take her to the store it should have been a hour or so trip, not with her we got home well after midnight the first night and after 2 am Sunday night. Mind you I left my house at 7 and she is about 10 minutes away. Her OCD is still over the top, I had not been in her house in a while, she has nothing but her coffee and end tables a plastic table with her laptop on it an some other table with her tv in it. She has an office chair to sit in and no one is allowed to touch it or anything else in the house. She won’t touch her key or lock her door. My truck is dirty because my dog laid on the seat and floor and then was in a box in the back once she passed. She can’t open the doors to get in and out someone has to open and close them for her, she can’t put her bags of whatever she gets in the truck because of it, she only gets what will fit in two brown bags and holds them on her lap. Her floors at home are just filthy to hear her talk about them all from stuff no one else would think twice of. Last night after we go shopping she dropped on bag in the floor so she gave it to me and refused to use the stuff because it is so nasty and dirty and she just won’t be able to eat it now it will just rot she isn’t putting it in her fridge with the rest of her food. .

We ended up going out to dinner because she wanted to and she paid for it, I didn’t really want to but it was just so late at that point I didn’t really care I wasn’t coming home to cook. I couldn’t put my stuff in her fridge because it sat in my truck. I had to go out of the way past where we were going to drop it off at home then go all the way back to where we were going. Never can I go there and just go to one place I have to go to ten before she is done. We can’t go to the store that is two minutes from her house we have to go to the one that is like 10 minutes from her house because the other one is to dirty. But then she has to get baskets and stick in the cart at this one the same as she would the other one because their carts are to dirty. She goes on and on about the kids and what they touch or I put my food in the buggy without getting a basket to put in it first. She goes on and on about them not having their shots and everything else. I am so over it and tired of it already and we have only went three times I think. She never can go in the day time it’s always 6 or 7 at night when she calls and needs to go. Then I can’t really tell her no because she don’t shop and has little to no food in the house. If you say something she starts about not eating and she guess she just won’t eat tonight again and how she has nothing to drink. She talks about how she only eats once a day if that most days. It isn’t because she can’t get food it is because she don’t get food or only gets stuff that is ready to eat so then she don’t have stuff for other days. She won’t cook right now hasn’t in I don’t know when she talks about how it’s father of the years fault and things. He keeps everything so dirty. He is in ways dirty but he is always cleaning if you leave him alone and let him clean not try tell him how to do it or aggravate him. But then she wants to tell you how to do everything thing and you have to do it just how and when she says so no one wants to help her.

Again my favorite thing she started about how horrible he was to live with and how abusive he is and things. Rather you know it or not this and that is abuse and I’m not his wife or girlfriend I don’t have to be done that way and put up with it. How he made her this way now with the OCD because she has post traumatic stress from being with her other ex’s my dad, my sisters dad and her ex she just divorced. Well that isn’t my fault sorry but she had problems then as well and when I was with him he was Mr. Great and I needed to stay with him, I needed to get back with him give the baby his name and let him be on her birth certificate. It was okay for me to put up with it, live with it, walk on eggshells all the time and my kids to live with it, but it isn’t okay when it is her. Telling me how this and that is abuse like I don’t know. Then I say something about why I left him and how I know how he is and things she says well you didn’t tell anyone what was going on or what happen so no one knew. I’m sorry I didn’t know in order for my family to not take his side and to not treat me like the outcast because I left my husband and got a divorce even though many of them have done the same thing, I had to go into all the details and tell all of my personal business. Where does the since come in here, I don’t care if my kids tell me nothing that happens between them and their spouse. If they come to me out of the blue one day and say mom we are getting a divorce I have been thinking about this for a long time my mine is made up, you can bet I am going to be there and support my child. I am not going to in brace their spouse and tell them it is okay it’s a phase, I am not going to invite them to every family get together and treat them like they are my child and turn mine away or leave them out when they say they do not want them there. I am not going to treat whoever they get with next like they are no body and do not matter. I am going to be there to help them support them make sure they are okay. It don’t matter how much or how little they decide to tell me or ever tell me. I will not treat their ex’s like dirt or anything like that not knowing what went on but they will not be treated like Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful.

Between that and then her always wanting to bring up what they just did, what a jam they have left everyone in, how he isn’t calling or seeing the kids, how he left everything and anything else she can think of to talk about the two of them I just don’t want to be around them. Sure it just happen but you know what I am over it, I am over being pissed off at her or him, I am over wanting to hear about either of the two and what they done. All I am mad about is the fact that he is doing his kids this way, I am out of the rest of it and could really careless. I don’t know if you can say I am fine with it or I am at peace with it or that I don’t care I don’t feel any of those things. I feel a little numb I guess or indifferent I don’t know how to explain it, I just don’t want to hear about it or talk about it anymore. They have done what they done and now I have to do what I have to do to keep moving on and moving forward. That is all I am really worried about not why or how we ended up here or what is going on. Because really nothing is going on so there is nothing to do with them I have to deal with other than court stuff with him that is all fine it is stuff that has been a long time coming I just been busy with school and things to do it. She just wants to talk about it and talk about it this and that about it, what they are doing where they are them not being able to find a place or what ever. I don’t care, now call his parents tell them what he did maybe they will help me. His parents do not care, his parents never have and never will and if he has talked to them he has told them he has paid me and whatever i say is a lie. Now it is call his job leave a message and do this or that. That I need to go get the paper work and file it and all this. I know I do I have to do that tomorrow. She wants to me to come get her do all this stuff tomorrow why kids are at school but you know when she tells me about an hour ago. Well I have plans with a friend to take them some places and to stop and do the things I need to do like print all these papers out and send my books and go to the job place. They need to go get an id and go to the job place.

But if I tell her I plan to do this with this person it will be why am I going with them and taking them place? Now my truck is going to be messed up even worse she can’t even ride in it because of this and that. How I am just leaving her hanging. When I should have been able to do all this today had I not gotten home so late and the kids had went to school this morning. Or I could have taken her today and done this all tomorrow if I we had not gotten home so late the kids had went to school and she had gotten up. She says to wake her up after I drop the kids at school. Why after I drop them? I drop the last two at 9 and then I am ready to go do what I need to do. So then she should be up when we get up getting ready and then I should be picking her up a little after 9 so we can go to the bank and the store. But she won’t she will get up at 9 maybe. Most likely she won’t get up until hours later. If she gets up at 9 she will not be ready for hours more at least two. Then when I get there she still will take another 30 minutes or more before she will get in the truck to go anywhere. But when I tell her I have other stuff to do let me know when she is ready she won’t do that either, she will get pissed off not get ready not go and then say she didn’t get anything done because I was busy doing other stuff and didn’t do what I said I was going too. If I wait do nothing she won’t go anyway. I will be done in time to pick the older two kids up at 3 and will have a couple hours before I have to pick the two little ones up. I will go to take her to the store then and if she wants to go to the store and bank then fine if not then I can’t help it because once I pick the little two up I am going to come home for the night. She has money in her pocket then she can order something and have it brought to her. If she don’t want that then I guess she will do without.

She keeps throwing in my face she took care of me when I was so sick and when I was like that. I wasn’t driving everyone crazy with everything had to be bleached down and spotless. I just didn’t leave he house and didn’t want to be around people. Truth be told I was that way because of her then, she was sick and there was all kinds of things going on and I had to take care of everything and my sister and brother and going to school and worrying about what she was doing why I was there. If she would have straighten up then and done better maybe I wouldn’t have gotten that way then. I couldn’t go get something and take for it and she wouldn’t let me take anything to help feel better or get me through it whatever you want to say. Now I know I have my problems I either keep them under control and if I can’t then I go get something and take for it so that it is. I do not bother anyone else with my problems or expect them to take care of me. I go  see someone a couple times a month and I take my pill. I don’t expect her to do anything for me she couldn’t if I needed her to.

Then she keeps telling me how I need to come over there and how much better her place is and why she can’t come to mine and how bad it is. How if I came there we could pay the rent between us until we got money again and then be okay. I think that is why she borrowed money to pay it the next two months because she knew I could pay mine this month and figures maybe next but by the following I won’t be able to and I will have no where to go but to come there. Then I can pay it there. Well I got news for her I will not lose my place and if I do I will not be staying here. I just won’t I am not starting over here again. I have not told her that because then it would be how i can’t do what I plan to do if it came down to it and all that. How I am leaving her. She rather see me lose my place that is more than big enough for all of us and her to come here and end up in her little to two bedroom place with nothing of ours kids lose all their pets and everything just so she can have all the control and say even though I will be paying part of the rent and the rest of the bills and have nothing there. So I can cook and clean at her biking call it isn’t going to happen again.

{July 9, 2014}   Confession # 3

I am a couponer, not a crazy extreme clear the shelf couponer but a couponer. I try to stock up for a few months at time when things go on sale. I am also stocking up for a new small business adventure I am thinking about tying in the next few months once I get a good stock built up. I will post more about that another time. Right now I am not going to talk to much about it until I see how it goes.

I use to coupon years ago before everyone got into it and was so extreme about it. I would stock things up for my house and buy for my grandparents and my dad who live on a fixed income. I want to be able to start helping them with somethings again like I use to. I also donated a lot of stuff and gave a way a lot to family and friends.

I have only done a few shopping trips so far but have been able to get us a lot of stuff we need and taken my dad some stuff. CAM04514CAM04513

Since the 16th when I started couponing again I just figured out that I have spent $303.82 paid $65.76 and saved $244.98. I got 115 things averaged out it comes to 57 cent a item. I can live with that. I am stocked on a lot of things that we need and use. Above was just part of two different shopping trips and two of about 5.

Below is my biggest trip I have done at one time. This trip alone came to $229.99 I paid $68.74 and saved $154.25. My whole order is not here because I had already given a bunch of stuff to my friend who went with me to help me out. $24 of it was for the dog food and frebreez. The rest was the food. I normally pay $20 for one bag of dog food so why I found such a good deal I worked it out to get 3 for $22.


I ended up giving the dog food above a way because my dog really didn’t seem to like it as much as she did when we use to get it for her and she started to get sick. My friend who had watched her for me has three dogs so I took her one of these big bags and what was left of the little ones. They were very happy to get it. Her boyfriend has been out of work and they had just ran out the night before. I didn’t know I just knew she had the dogs and they don’t seem to be as picky as mine seems to be getting.

I have enough snacks for the kids socked up for the next 3 weeks give or take. The dogs stocked on dog food for about 4 1/2 months on dog food just with the two bags I kept and we have enough water drops to last a while. Father of the year takes them to work to use why he is out running around all day. He just ads them to the bottles of water they give them at work instead of stopping to buy drinks all the time and spending more money.

What is even better is most of the stuff from my first trips came from tip money instead of our budget. My big trip came out of our budget but has been made back up in tips since I went. So it free’s up a little bit to be able to do little extra with the kids here and there.


et cetera
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