Single___Parent___Life











So it is the 3rd I have not heard from Father of The Year or his boss. I finally messaged his boss and asked if I could meet up with him. He said yes, we were both out and about so we met up at the little store. He gave me the money and it was $50 short. I ask him about it he said he thought that was what we agree to and blah blah. I said no it is on the paper. He said look at it let him know. I sent it to him again after I left it has the date and everything on it.

He called me back later of course I had the kids in the car. Said they had agree to what he gave me that by time his rent comes out and truck what he gives me he only has about $200 a week. I said well you know that is on him he decided to not pay all this time and get behind. I said I am lucky to bring home $600/$800 a month and I have 5 people to take care of. He said 5? I said me and 4 kids 3 are his.

I said I already am giving and compromising enough because he is supposed to pay half of all their medical bills, half of their clothing, school supplies and anything else they need as well. So yes he needs to pay what was agreed to and put in the letter. I said and for that matter he is supposed to be paying for a baby sitter every weekend that he don’t have them. I said he is supposed to have them Friday until Monday if he don’t he is to pay a sitter if one is needed. I said but instead my 14 year old is forced to do it every weekend for free that isn’t right.

He said well he didn’t know about all that and he knows what he has and all this and it be this way or something. He was going to talk to them again and things. I said well you know like I said it could be costing him a lot more than the little he is forced to give. Because if I go to court they are going to make him pay this plus half of everything else.

Then he started about he wants to know when he could see the kids. He wants me to drop them off at the park with him and his new wife. I said my kids already told him they do not want to be around her and want nothing to do with her. I said and no one has ever said he could not see them. I said he has been able to see them whenever he wants he decided not to. I said June or July he seen my oldest in the store ran and hid then promised her he was going to come see her he was going to start paying and that they would see him on their terms not his it was up to them. I said the weekend came and went he never called or showed. Weeks later when we seen him same thing he couldn’t talk he get a hold of her this weekend. He never did no one seen or heard from him and that was over a month ago when I talk to you that first day.

He says he made the comment he wanted to see them if you bring them to the park and he wants to talk to them. He wants them to accept her that is his wife now and things. I said the way she did them and me they want nothing to do with her. But they will see him. I said and this does not need to go through a 3rd party he needs to come to me set this up not this back and forth with a third party. He said I think you scare him and intimidate him. Bah ha ha. I said well he needs to grow up act like an adult and if he wants to see them pay what he is supposed to and then contact me himself and set up to see them.

All this it is like I am being looked down upon and just want his money. They act like I just want it to go out and party on and blow. Like I told him every penny of it goes to the kids. It isn’t going anywhere else. But then I am made to feel like I am wrong for expecting him to pay his part so kids have what they need and want.

This right here all of it is 100% why I have not bothered with trying to get anything from him. Its just run around after run around. Then he is going to start and force them to see him and have her there. Try to force them to go over there.

If I had thought of it I told him he had an option to get it of it all. He can give up all his rights and keep all his money. But he don’t want to. I compromised by taking the amount we agree to and now he wants to cry over $50. No done.



{August 30, 2018}   My Sisters Message

Today I woke up to a text message, it was from my sister. She said she got a message from Buddy’s, the local furniture rental place. She said they were looking for father of the year.

I told her to tell them she didn’t know why he would use her as a reference that she had not seen or talked to him in over a year and a half when he disappeared. I said tell them he don’t even pay child support for his kids good luck getting their money.

Guess money has been a little tight this month it seems. Isn’t that a petty? NOT! I don’t feel the least bit sorry for him. I hope they have their whole house from beds to couches through them and they come snatch it all. Let them struggle and do without try to figure out how to get something. I know them they will keep it as long as they can without paying on it before they give it back and still will not have replaced it at that point.

They are weeks behind and not talking to them or they would not have called her looking for him.



{August 24, 2018}   A Long Week Ahead

I just got my check a few minutes ago and it is about $30 shorter than I expected. Between missing a few hours and being sent home early. I have to pay the water today or it is going to go off and if I don’t pay my phone today it is going to go off as well. When I get done paying them I will only have $80 for food and gas. Oh and my account is over drawn by $170 because my car insurance came out.

I am so screwed right now. I am going to have to figure out how to get through this week and make it to Saturday. Saturday hurries and gets here I will be okay. I will have my chech, ssi, and the money he is going to give me. Then some left. It sucks to know you have the money just don’t have access to it.

I need to let my phone go not pay it. But it is the only way work and the kids school have to get a hold of me. It is the only number I have to give for jobs and I am trying to go apply for some Monday.

I just thought I may have to go take out a payday lone. I will probably end up paying a tone back but I have food and gas money for the week. This all just sucks, because I think I have a good budget set up if he is going to give me money the first of the month. At least so that I will have a little in savings so things like this don’t happen.

I just hope this works out, I get her out of my house and things really do settle down for me and the kids. I find more of a day job.



{October 23, 2017}   A Week Short

I finally received my paycheck in the mail Saturday and it was a week short. I was so mad, I went to work today and my lead tells me that she couldn’t put it in the computer I wasn’t under her and no one else did. I asked her and asked her the last two weeks I sat there if I was being put in the computer she said yes. I said I need my pay and I need it now not in a few days a week or in two weeks when we get checks again. I have my direct deposit information if they can do it that way. All day she has been going back and forth with them over it. It is not there in the morning I am not going back to work. I will call the leave line and stay home, when they call me and ask why I am not there I am going to tell them I do not work for free. The last time they shorted my check I did not get my money until Christmas when it was October they owed me the money. Everyday I went in everyday they say it was going to be fixed going to be fixed. It was not fixed until I went in there and told them I was walking out if it was not fixed. Just like I told them the other day on that training call it was a zoo here no one knew what was going on I thought it would be better here we are two years later but I was wrong. Not just the training but the higher ups and taking care of things are not any better. They do not get things done they pass the buck and blame everyone else. Like I told my lead today they have a lot of people walking around doing a lot of nothing and not enough people doing the jobs that need to be done, like fixing our pay and getting people in the computer and those kinds of things. She didn’t say anything, just told me how she waited months to get her pay fixed as well last year. This is an every year thing with them it seems. I am not going to do it this year I will leave and go somewhere else. I really need to talk to my boss and see if I can work something out with him but I don’t know. He seems to of decided to do something different. I just wish I could find somewhere that would work with me that wasn’t so stressful.



{January 12, 2017}   Much Easier to Care For

When I dropped the little kids off at school today my Big Guys teacher and one of the kids in his class parents was talking about my hair and how much they liked it. Then when we got outside going back to my truck the other kids mom stopped me and was talking about it. She was saying how good it looked and how nice it looked on me. Then she said it is so much easier to take care of to you are going to love it.

When I sent the picture to my good friend he said the same thing it will be a lot easier to take care of now.

When I picked the big kids up the teachers and everyone were talking about it and how good it looked and how they liked it. They started talking about how easy it will be to take care of.

When I took the kids to therapy the lady at the shop down stairs stopped me and was telling me how good it looked and how it would be so easy to take care of now that it is shorter.

I started wondering did everyone think I spent a ton of time on my hair and styled it every day when it was long? Did it really look like I spent time on it and styled it? Or are they saying I didn’t spend enough time on it and didn’t style it and it was a hot mess all the time? I really think it was the first that maybe they think I took time to do it every morning because they say it will take you less time and will be like I would get a break now.

What do you think?

I think it is rather funny because I never styled my hair ever when it was long. I washed towel dried and sometimes got to brush it and went. I never put any spray, moose, gel or anything like that in it. I never thought it looked all that great but didn’t think it looked bad either. It was just hair and it was just there. I wasn’t trying to really do anything with it but grow it out. Kind of defeated my purpose yesterday when I cut it all off.



{December 16, 2015}   Open Enrollment

Today was the last day of open enrollment to get a January 1, 2016 start date for health insurance, this the last two days at work have been completely crazy. There has been all you want overtime the last two days as well. I was able to make arrangments for the kids to stay with my mom last night and tonight. Last night I had planed to stay as late as they were open I ended up leaving at about 9:20. They said they were only staying until 10 I knew I didn’t have time to finish a call by 10 if I had gotten one. I needed to stop at my moms as well and pick something up as well so I just went ahead and clocked out. Then I hear tonight they ended up staying until 12 last night too. If I had known I would have stayed. Today I stayed until just after midnight everyone was leaving then. Once midnight hits in our time zone it’s closed so we couldn’t do anything else. I worked 16 hours today. I got there at 8 in the morning and worked until 12am. Now I have to be up and back there in less than 6.5 hours to start over again tomorrow and  I am sitting here wide awake and can’t sleep.

I don’t get it there was a good group of us left there tonight at midnight but most do not have to be back there until 10 or after tomorrow but most of them were talking about coming in late or calling out tomorrow. Most had not come in early so they only worked a few hours extra. All I could think was why stay here all night do all those extra hours to turn around and come in late or call off all together tomorrow and lose all that overtime. It just don’t make since to me. It isn’t like it is a little amount of money if they did it both nights I made about half my normal weekly check in overtime in the extra hours I put in the last few days. I am hating it because I have to go in late Friday and will lose some of my hours, but I am trying to put in enough over time the next two nights to make up for it so that I don’t lose my overtime. I got lucky my mom watched the kids for me these two days and then the next two days father of the year is off and will have them so I can work late the next couple nights. She said she would watch them late Friday so that I could stay late and make my time up then but I want to go ahead and do it the next two days just in case something happens and plus if I work the next two nights then stay over Friday and make up my hours it will just add to my overtime I already have and not I still won’t be short. There no way I want to have stayed and worked 16 hours starght to not come out with a nice chunk over overtime pay. I don’t know what these people are thinking. If your not wanting the overtime why stay that late when you know you have to be back there in a few hours and you don’t want to be.

I also finally seem to have found the person who can make something happen and get my pay rate fixed. I don’t know why no one told me to go talk to her and that she was over payroll or able to get things with payroll done before now. I finally got mad and went to my team lead this evening and told her I wanted to know who I needed to talk to, to get my pay straight because I was ready to leave and not come back. I told her the same thing I told the other girl yesterday I should not have to beg to be paid. That every day every hour that I sit there with them not paying me at the right right is another hour another $1 I’m racking up that I may never see so why do I want to sit there and keep letting them rack up all this money they owe me and maybe never get it. At that point they are just using people as long as they can paying what they want not what they promised or are supposed to be paying and as long as they get away with it they will just keep doing it.

I told her I was short and told her I knew that as late as it was in the week and me getting paid Thursday I would be shorted on that one to and when that would be paid to me. Something was said about the next check in two weeks. She said if that would be a problem or something like that. I said yes I just told you my check has been short and it may not be a lot but my money is counted out to the penny to pay bills I am borrowing money and everything else. She said I just needed a yes. I said well I’m a single mom of 4 kids and this is also the last check before Christmas I haven’t even gotten to start my Christmas shopping yet and I have to do it out of this check and pay bills. She said ok she was going to make a note of it and that it may not be there Thursday but it would be there early next week Monday or Tuesday. I said well as long as it is there by then it should be ok. I told her I couldn’t wait two weeks until or next check anyway because then that money would show as income for January not December and that I have a son who gets SSI and that I have to report my wages every month and that they want to know the money that was paid to me not when I I worked and made it. That it don’t look at I was shorted this month and this month and now behind on my bills for those months or had to borrow money and now pay it back with this money. It looks at my bills are paid I got X money for this month there for they cut my check for the following month and puts me in a jam and in a cycle of never being able to get ahead. She said she was sending the note out to whoever and putting everything in it.

My team lead came looking for me talking about your in meeting. We have to put where we are or what we are doing if we stop calls for any reason. I said yes because I had to meet with her to get my pay straight I didn’t think you wanted me to be in training we aren’t training. She says well I just need you to get back on the phone right now there are 2 or 300 calls in que and everyone has to be on the phone and in ready if I don’t have all my team in ready I’m going to be in trouble. I said I don’t care if they have 500 calls in que or who’s in ready or not in ready right now if they don’t want to fix  my pay and pay me for all the work I have already come in here and done for them they can start taking these calls because I will walk right now it’s past my time to go home already I don’t have to be here. If I leave I won’t be coming back. She just walked off and didn’t say anything.

Later I seen the lady I was talking to about pay and she said that it was fixed and that I should have all my money by Friday. My team lead came by and she started asking her why my pay hadn’t been fixed and how come it had taken so long. She was making excuses I don’t know she claims she was sending messages but I am starting to wonder now if she was or not. All I know at this point is my money better be there by Monday. I know she said it was easier to get the checks out right or wrong and then fix it and do a second round of checks after the first ones than to go in the computer and fix them at this point in the game. I know that before when my check was so short and I called in I got my extra on Friday since i have direct deposit and it goes in on Thursday.  I guess I will know tomorrow when I get to work if it has turely been changed I will be able to look in the computer and see at least if it was moved up to the right amount. If not I will be waiting at the main man over the places office when he gets there.



{June 17, 2015}   Determined Not to Move

When father of the year left I had my money worked out and had enough to pay my bills for a few month. I have since worked out to make sure they were taken care of until August. Well father of the year hasn’t given my anything since he moved out. Let me explain he did he gave me $200 once and then I “borrowed” around $100 once. Well then he needed money and I lent him some. He was supposed to get his vacation pay and give it back to me. Then he tells me he couldn’t get it. He paid a little on my light bill that is it. He is down to have given me less than $200 in all the time he has been gone.

I had money coming from school I was going to use to pay my rent. Well they explained it to me wrong and I didn’t get the money. I had to pay my rent late and the office is all over me now. I got a call from the owner of the office the other week he was really nasty. I had to pay late once before and it was no problem. They worked with me. Most the year that we have been here my rent has been paid up 3 or 4 months ahead. I figured I explain to them I didn’t have it but when I would have it and that when I paid it I planed to pay July and August rent as well. He didn’t care then tried to tell me I didn’t have a lease. I signed a lease the first of April or May when mine was up. I didn’t want them to just come in and tell me they were doing this or that and I needed to move or that they wanted to raise my rent. They lost their copy of it. Then he started trying to tell me that it wasn’t any good because they didn’t check my employment. Not they don’t’ check that when you sign a new one and they can’t not give me a new one because of my living situation. He wanted to know why I was late and if i lost my job. I told him no was honest with him told him i had never had one. That I was looking for one that father of the year had left and was not paying and that I had money coming but it didn’t come when it was supposed to and I was trying to figure out why. That’s when he got nasty and basicaly said we had to move. I said you know i been here a year this place sat empty for a year or more before for i moved in it. I have had my rent paid in advance most the time i lived here this one time I am having a problem and you can’t give me a little bit of time and work with me? He said we don’t care if your rent has been paid up the whole time you been here your late we are giving you 3 days notice to get out. If not we will file with the court Monday. Then wanting to know how I planed to pay it at the end of the month and keep it on time from here. I told him I had money coming and that I was looking for a job and that I had money I got every month. That this month I had this happen I didn’t know that I was trying to make it right. He said oh well you will be getting notice Tuesday or Wednesday. I was so mad I wanted to hang up on him long before when he started drilling me about why I was late my job and all that but I didn’t. I didn’t want to make matters worse. I finally just said ok I guess we will see what happens when he said he was posting the note and it had to be paid by Friday and he hung up.

I called the office and talked to the lady I normally deal with and talk to her. I just told her that I would have it Monday but I didn’t see a point in paying it if they were going to give me a three day notice to get out. It was Tuesday then. She said well if you bring it by Monday even with the notice you will be ok because it would be Thursday Friday and Monday. I said but if they send me a notice then I am going to have a fee for that on top of the late fee I already have and the fee you all are charging to do a new lease. I am going to be paying out my rent money for other months in fees. So if I am going to be in the same spot in a few weeks I may as well move. She said don’t worry I am going to try and take care of it just get the money and get it in here. I never got a notice. I think she is the one who is supposed to send it to the lawyer to be written up and posted. She probably just didn’t send it and didn’t say anything. She told me before if she didn’t do the stuff around there it didn’t get done. Just like my roof the owner of the company never called told me he did she had to a week later.

I am asking father of the year what am I supposed to do, where am I supposed to get money? I’m sitting here so sick from it all and the stress I can’t stand it. I was physically sick for days. He just acts like it is no big deal and says I don’t know like always. Then it was well we can sell the van. The one may dad left me. Right now it needs some stuff I wouldn’t get much if I sold it. I could scrap it and get hardly nothing because the price of metal is down. Even if I scrapped it I wouldn’t have enough to do anything or pay anything I needed to. I have maybe $250 when I needed $1100.

The kids were supposed to go to camp Sunday and they needed stuff. He said they just can’t go to camp. I said no that isn’t right the kids aren’t going to not go to camp because you fucked up again. I said it isn’t their fault you screwed up at work and got demoted to a lower paying hard to make money at position. I said we sit here why you pay for cars you hit, tool boxes you tore up and tickets you racked up at work and do with out. I said we don’t even mean enough that we can have a house to live in and bills paid. We can just be homeless.

No no that isn’t how it is at all. I have to keep my job and I give you money when I have it or I can. I have to pay bills too and rent. I said well rather you have it or not our bills still need paid as well. I had my part of things for months here and should still have money to have paid the rent even if that school money didn’t come. But I have been picking up your slack for what you are not paying since you moved out and now I don’t have it. If I hadn’t been paying everything and doing it all and he had been helping even with half of what he is supposed to give me when my money didn’t come I should have been able to go down pay my rent and not had to worry about it one bit. But I couldn’t because I have less than $250. Then he says to me I am so tried of everyone looking at me, talking about me and acting like I am a deadbeat dad that don’t help take care of my kids. I said then stop being one because right now that is what you are. You don’t pay your part to help support them, you can’t even buy them food when they come to your house, I am paying everything here for them and buying the food they eat why they are at your house and now because you lied yet again I lent you money to help you so your not homeless and now we are going to be because again you didn’t do what you said you were going to do and again you act like it is no big deal and poor you and what everyone thinks of you. When it comes down to it and we are down to being out any day and your asked for help what do you say? Well you could sell the van, you could sell this and that. Sell my stuff give them my money again not I could sell this or I could try to get money for that. Just sell my stuff where is this of mine where did this money go. Screamed at me because I took less than $100 and took my kids on the trip to the light house and things that one day. We packed lunch and snacks hardly spent any money other than gas money. I had $1000’s at the time and had a little extra to do something nice for them and it still wouldn’t have put me short had he been doing his part. Told everyone I blew my money and didn’t pay bills and not getting thrown out and mad at him for not giving me more money when he is already giving me money. He stupid my best friends husband works with him and knows how it is. Why he sits and tells everyone all this. I guess he thinks we don’t talk just me and her talk but he knows because his wife was with me when I took every last dime i had and paid bills with it.

I ended up taking my truck and pawning it until I get money next week to pay my bills. I can’t believe I had to do something like that. I have never had to go so far as selling or pawning my vehicle when I really don’t have anything else to drive. I have the van but the door i have to get the kids in and out of sticks closed most the time it isn’t safe, there are no back widows to get air and the air is broke they get sick riding around in it, something is wrong with the oil sending unit or something not really sure it has no pressure when you step on the break. I have to now drive it almost 100 miles two hours a way to pick my kids up at camp.

I called around last week and there was hardly anywhere that even took trucks or cars and the only one close to me said they were full. The closes one I could find to even take it was 40 miles away. Between that and wanting to make sure the kids got to camp I waited until Monday to pawn it. I am glad I did I went over to the shop around the corner from me and the lady said she didn’t think they had room she went and talk to some guy there he came over and talk to me. He wanted to know what I had and how much I wanted and everything. He said the same thing he didn’t think he had room for something that big. I said look I only need to leave it here until Thursday/Friday at the latest and if everything comes through like it is supposed to I will be back here Tuesday to get it. If you could just fit it in somewhere. I said I don’t care if you leave it sitting out front out of the fence, I don’t have but one key for it your going to have it. He looked at it and everything and said he would take it. So I borrowed $1100 on it to pay the rent and the bills that were going to needed paid if my money didn’t come before next Friday. The guy was really nice I told him what was going on why I needed it, he wanted to give me more I told him no I just need this much for this reason I don’t want to borrow more because I am coming to get it back and if i borrow more I will short myself in the long run. He lowered the interest rate so I wouldn’t have to pay back as much. I was going to have to pay back right at $300 but now I have to pay back little less than $200.

I feel a lot better but still worried about going to pick up the kids at camp Sunday. We took the van in October but it didn’t have as many problems. I guess we shall see.



et cetera
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