The Hunt Is On

To find a school or schools for the kids. We have about 55 days give or take until school starts back and I have not found anything that seems like it will work. I was waiting to get the test done and back but I have had those now for weeks and still haven’t found one. I have sat here for hours tonight looking some up. I have at least 3 kids that will be in school this year. Maybe 4 if my little one gets head start or childcare. A lot of the private schools take childcare so I would like to get as many of them into one school as I can. That is hard to do with my oldest since she is going into 7th this year. A lot of the schools only go to 5 some up to 8 and very few to 12.

The kinder I am not worried about getting in they will take him, the older two they want to see test results and my Big boy didn’t do so hot on his. I know he must have skipped a lot of it because I when I seen him he was looking off into space and not working on it. The guy told him to work so he started looking at it but I don’t think he really read it more than just marked stuff. My oldest said at one point he was drawing pictures of a dinosaur eating  a guy on his test. Lovely I know. He scored lower on it than he did when I took it a few years ago so I know he couldn’t have read it and really done it. I know he is not on the level it says he is even the therapist said that. You can talk to him and tell he is not years behind in school.

The few schools I found I thought I would really like to get them into after talking to others find out that they have a lot of problems or problem kids that have been kicked out of school. Or they take two of my kids scholarships but not the other ones because his is different. It sucks because his is like twice as much as the other twos and would pay for extra stuff and I could order him different supplies and things. And he has two year worth of money laying there he will lose if we get the other one and use it so I am trying to find one that will take his and that is good regardless if he is the only one that gets and I have to find the other three other places.

We have a school right around the corner that will take my oldest, my kinder and maybe my Little Bitty but not my one with the different funding. I talk to them they said they would check into it but never called me back. He really didn’t seem interested in trying to be able to take it. He said he felt it would be to much work to to try take it. But I looked and if they already take the others like they do its just a matter of filling out forms. I am not in anyway shape or form crazy about the school but it’s a ok school. My older sister went there all the way through. But I figured it’s only two years and we will be moving so then we can find something else. probably better than putting them in public school all the way around. It’s just not as good of an education I know the other schools offer. But I also have to be able to get them all to school all over the place if they are all in different schools and get there to pick them all up on time at all these different schools if they end up split up, and if I need someone to pick them up they are going to have to go all over towns to pick them up. I don’t want to be making a 50 mile round trip to take them to school every day like I did for so long before.

Tonight I was thinking about it and the school around the corner I don’t care for may be good for my oldest for a year or two. I know they will move the kids up if the work they are doing in their grade is to easy and they feel they can handle the next grade up. My oldest is testing out at half way through her second year of college for reading and high school for everything else but math. She gets so very board in school she use to tell me all the time we are going around the room reading and I have finished the book or chapter and the rest of the class is still on the first few pages or chapter. We have our work to do I get it done and then sit and wait for the rest of the kids to get done so we can move on to something else. She got my General Psychology book the other day and ask me if she could read it and answer the questions after each chapter. I told her yeah but not to mess it up I had to return it I rented it not bought it. She ask when it was due and I told her. It’s due the first week of next month. She said oh ok it’s only 15 chapters and about 20 questions after each chapter I should have it all done by then with no problem. I am waiting to see if she does it. I was surprised she wasn’t farther along the other night and commented. She said well I am trying to concentrate and really studying it I find it interesting so I take more time to read it. We weren’t home all day today so I don’t think she got to work in it today. But moving up might be good for her. In third grade she scored 130 points on her IQ test they gave her. They were testing her for gifted she got in that.

I found some more schools tonight I am going to try and go check out tomorrow when I drop my little guy off at school in the morning. One I think would be really good for the boys because they offer the different therapies and things they need as well. But then it looks like the take my older sons funding that the other schools don’t but not the funding my younger one has that the rest do. So I will have to see if I can switch my younger one over to the other since he does need therapy and things.

It’s going to be a long day tomorrow, it’s five minutes to three and I haven’t been to sleep yet, I fell a sleep earlier for a little bit and not wide awake. I have to have my little one at school by 8, go check these schools out and pick him up by 1230 so we can go to the dentist at 130. We will be out most the day tomorrow too. If we are home by 4 I will be shocked. I just hope in all this checking out schools tomorrow I find one that works for them all and they get signed in and set up.

It really stinks that our public schools are so bad that they can’t just walk three houses down and go to school.

 

Dear Teacher, What I Want You To Know

 

I just seen this come up on my news feed and decided to watch it. Listening to it I just sat here and cried, it sounds so much like my big boy. The let me move, let me rock, let me look where I need or want because I can still listen. He never sits still from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep at night. He is always rocking or moving in some way or another. One of the first things that I noticed about him when he was little that wasn’t like other kids. He really isn’t trying to distract anyone or be disrespectful or not listen. 99% of the time if he can get up and move around or fitget in his chair he can tell you more of what was said or going on than someone sitting doing nothing but listening and watching what is going on. He catches things you would think for sure he wouldn’t or couldn’t have. I have to remind myself all the time when we are doing school that he is listening and doing what he is supposed to do he just needs to move or look around. It does get on my last nerve sometimes. But it isn’t his problem it is mine and I try not to say anything to him.

It’s hare because others just don’t understand and that I let him get away with things or don’t make him listen. They think he is being rude or not behaving and that he is old enough or more than old enough to understand and just stop. He looks a lot older than he his because of his size. They think he should be strong and lift this or that or not get upset about things that kids his age get upset about because they don’t stop to see how old he really is. Sometimes he may get upset about something that most kids his age wouldn’t but that is because of how he is. He isn’t like all the other kids. They don’t see it or understand. I just wish more people were a wear of things like this or more understanding. His dad says I always take up for him but I really don’t I take up for him when he needs taken up for. When adults aren’t being adults and treating him like he should be treated or others try to run him over, pick on him or make fun of him. He just don’t like it because a lot of the times I have to step in when because he isn’t treating him right. He swears he is but he can’t stand there and yell at him belittle him or call him names. Different or not that is one of my biggest pet peeves is people calling others names it don’t matter who it is, who they are talking to or why.

Re:Scholarship News

We had Christmas at my moms and had dinner there Christmas night. There was a bunch left over so she said for me and the kids to come back last night and we would have dinner again. No one felt like splitting everything up and us bringing some home as late as it had gotten. We had to get something for her and take back down there anyway.

When we got home from there my little guy wanted to check the mail, he brought me it. There was a letter from step up in there (Scholarship News). I was kind of afraid to open it. We were waiting for his funding to come in and would be getting a letter when it did. But it was such a blah day and the kids were in such moods I figured it would be more bad news. That they had found something wrong or something. I have been worried that the school may still be getting money for him from the other scholarship and I not know it.

I almost just laid it up until another day to open, but the wanting to know what was in it got the best of me. I opened it and it was the letter we had been waiting on. It said his account has been funded and that the money is there now for us to start using and gave the amount he was awarded. I was blown a way by the amount he was awarded. He got the full amount of the scholarship. It had said that how much you got was biased on grade, disability and things like that. I know he isn’t near as bad as a lot of kids out there and he is in 3 rd grade. I figured to get about half or less of what he really got. I am so happy this will help get the things we need for school now and we should have a great second half of the year.

I am going to order him a laptop and math curriculum to start with. Then decide what other curriculum we are going to use. Now I have to figure out and get my oldest a laptop. Her birthday is at the end of next month. I think I will tell family that I want to get her a laptop for school and that if everyone would like to pitch in it would be great. She is getting older and not into toys as much and with just having Christmas she really don’t need more stuff. She got a lot of craft stuff and most everything that she had asked for.

Short Changing Special Needs Kids

As you all know my son is autistic, he is considered aspergers or high functioning. I decided to homeschool him this year after having problems with his school last year and the school we are zoned for not really being that good. We have had problems at it before and pulled both kids out in the past. They have been in two different schools towns apart for the last 4 years. Between the lies at my sons school. My daughter having trouble with the new common core at her school and bring lice home once a month. I decided that it was no longer to our advantage to make a 50 mile or more round trip to take them to and from schools that were not meeting their needs. I talk to the therapist and things about other schools and what ones seem to really work with kids with special needs. And heard the same as what I had found when researching them and checking into them myself and having a friend who’s son has been going to them. Not many really offer services. They say they do to get the money and the scholarships, grants and things like that but when it comes down to them really being able to handle the kids they take on they can’t. They are getting a way with not trying to so they just push them through because of the no child left behind and all that. It don’t matter if they learn the stuff or not they just pass them on. What are they really getting out of that? If they aren’t learning it they finish not much better off than when they started.

We went in September to see what services they offer for my son since we started homeschooling and were no longer in private school. Because here it is hard to get services outside of the school board. I went to the meeting they told me his IEP was up for review. They said that they couldn’t offer any services under the iep because he was not enrolled in school. They said they couldn’t offer services under the service plan because he was no longer in private school. They went on to explain in great detail this other way we could go about getting services. But they told me over and over that he may test out of services because he didn’t have a “real teacher” to do his evaluations. Well I am his teacher and who knows their child better than their parent? I told them fine do all the reviews and things they wanted because I had no doubt that he would still show needing services on their test they done even if they didn’t think so from mine.

They went into all this detail about the program and services they were testing to see if he could get. They told me that he would more than likely come in 3 to 4 days a week for a hour to two hours a day. That would cover his ot, speech, language math and other academic tutoring he may need. Their words not mine they didn’t want to do it all in one day they didn’t want to over whelm him or put a strain on him. But they think he is fine to sit in school all day for 7 hours a day get all these services and do his school work. I said that was no problem if that was what he needed then he would be there. Then they told me that it would probably be at different times each day depending what service and teacher or what he would need that day. That we couldn’t say we want him to come every morning at x time or we only wanted to come x days. I said that is fine we are pretty much home during school hours any way we live 3 houses a way so he could walk over and walk home. They talked about they didn’t know if he got services this way if he would have to take the state test they give or if we could still just do our own test or eval and send it once a year like we have to. But they were supposed to find out and let me know at this meeting. We spent days since going back and forth and him doing all their test and me filling out their forms and doing the evals they wanted me to do.

At this time it was made very clear that we would not be enrolling back in school we just wanted to know what services we could get as homeschooling family.

Today we get to the meeting and they start off with the one lady going over the iq test and explaining his score and telling me what it all means and what she was worried about. All stuff we been looking at for years so not surprised. Then the others start telling me stuff. This first lady has to leave for something she got called a way to. She stops the meeting ask me what I plan to do with my son and all this. I told her to keep him home and school him see what services he can get here and see where we are next year and what we are going to do. Another lady stops and says well if you take the iep then we will offer all the services we are going to go over here today. But if you are not putting him back in school then we will not offer any other services. I said they told me they were testing under a different program since we are home-schooling told me all this was here for us. She said no if you want to sign the iep and put him in school it will start tomorrow but if not then we will just file it and if you decide to bring him back we will offer them. I was so mad. We went on went through all the services and what he needed in each and that was it. They typed up notes saying that we refused to put him back in school and their for they are not going to offer services. Then acted like they couldn’t wait for us to get out of there. Other people were coming in for other meetings and things.

All I could think was did I miss understand something in the last meeting. I was just so thrown off gaurde and confused when they said all this that I couldn’t think of everything. I got home and started thinking about it and what was said. If they hadn’t went into such detail about how the program worked, that it would be a few hours a day that it would be at the times they had they could get him and even tell me about what time some services would be I would say maybe I miss understood something. But I didn’t they out and out lied to me about all of it. There was no reason to go through this all again. There was no agreement to do another iep and put him back in school. We agreed to test him see what services he needed and work it out so that he could drive in and get them.

I’m so mad now I guess I have to spend tomorrow on the phone trying to figure out what happen and why they out and out lied. They get about $3000 a year between my two kids and they do nothing for them they never step a foot in the door of the school. But then they want to fight me on offering him services as simple as speech, ot and things.

 

I Feel

Right now I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. I feel scared I don’t know of what just scared. I feel like running I feel like I need to get a way I feel like I just want to get in my truck and start driving. I don’t know to where I don’t even want to go anywhere. But I feel like I need to get a way. I don’t know what I need to get a way from there is nothing here nothing going on. Everyone is in bed have been for hours my big boy in watching tv being good not bothering anything. I am laying in my bed and I feel like just staying here and hiding under by blanket and not getting up even though I want to get a way like I need to get a way. The erge to just go is so over whelming. But that would take energy I feel I just don’t have. I feel I should just get under my blanket and go to sleep and I try but sleep just won’t come. So then I go back to leave just leave just get a way. But a way from what I cry I can’t help it I can’t stop it I just cry and cry. I feel like talking to someone but at the same time I really don’t want too. I feel like I need to get this all out and I don’t know what to say or where to start if I had someone sitting here in front of me to listen all night. I wouldn’t know what to say I wouldn’t be able to say anything I wouldn’t want them to know how I feel or that anything was wrong. I am not sure why I am writing then I just feel I need to do something anything. To try to busy my mind and get it off of everything running threw it. But it don’t matter what I do it just won’t stop it. Everything just keeps coming and flooding threw me I feel like I can’t breath at times like I am smothering. I just want it to go a way I want it to stop. I have thought about going to the hospital a lot the last day or so but why what are they going to do what do I tell them? I feel like it isn’t that big of a deal and that I will get threw it I always have before. But how long do I have to wait this time how bad does it have to get before it gets better. It seems to last longer and be worse and get worse every time. It seems to get worse every day lately. I don’t understand yesterday wasn’t to bad the day before wasn’t good it was drab cold and rainy the air was thick. yesterday I wasn’t happy but wasn’t sad I just felt in a funk. I don’t know what it is even when I am doing other stuff I keep having this thought to go to the hospital and I keep having this thought to go to church. I don’t have a church and like the hospital if I went to one what am I going to tell them? They are all just going to think that it is no big deal and that there is nothing wrong I just need to get up and do something and get happy or whatever. I want to so bad I want to be happy again like I was a few years ago. this is just not a good time of year and with everything that has happen and that is happening I just don’ t know. Thee is just so much going on so much I am worried about then I worry about the baby and the stress I am going threw and the effects it is having on it. I just feel like if I wasn’t here everyone would be better off. My kids would be better off because if I wasn’t in the picture they wouldn’t have to wonder why mommy never does anything or stays in her room all the time. If I wasn’t here they would just get use to it and have a new normal and go on with life and forget about it. All while having them thoughts I am thinking no they wouldn’t they need me here they need me to get better and be the mom I use to be. That I am the only one who really fights for them and makes sure they are ok safe and have the things they need. I am sure part of that is why I feel the way I do because I am pretty much the only one who dose for them. Ex does what he has to do for them to get by. He don’t fight for them or take care of them like they are use too. He gets over whelmed and throws fits and says things to them and in front of them. Even if that is how you feel you don’t say that or do that in front of them. They didn’t ask to be here they can’t help it they can’t do it them self and things. They don’t understand how hard it can be and how over whelmed you can feel because of everything going on. They don’t understand that yes sometimes we just need a break because of everything and that moms and dads just don’t get that break often enough. They don’t know none of that and they shouldn’t they are kids. They shouldn’t be made to feel bad because they need something want some thing or because something happens. I am the one who tries to hold it all together and keep everything from them and make sure that everything gets done. I heart hurts I feel feel sick I feel like I am going to be sick. My head is pounding from crying my jaw and neck hurt from being so tense. My blanket and pillow are wet from all the crying since I laid down here to write this and my other post. As all this stuff runs or should I say flies threw my mind because I don’t know how anyone person and can have such thoughts and contradicting thoughts to go with them all at the same time and so many so fast. It is like I took a cd or a move and put it on fast forward and am trying to watch it. That’s how it seems the thought are going threw my head a whole move and warp speed all in a matter of minutes and then it starts over or just keeps going like it has no ending ever. The last 3 days or so I can’t even sleep good when I do fall asleep. I keep having these dreams bad dreams I am just trying to get a way. I don’t know what I am trying to get a way from most the time there is just something after me and I am trying to get a way. Sometimes it is about the snakes lizards and reptiles all around and trying to get me I feel like they are trying to kill me. A new one the last couple of day I my ex is chasing me and trying to get me he is really mad at me for something. Not RC but father of the year ex. I don’t know why we are all right here in the same house together him in his room over there or at work and me in mine. We have had a few arguments but nothing big. He hasn’t said or done anything out of the way or even gotten mean or nasty in a while. We got into a argument Saturday night and he left to go see a friend he had plans to go out. I was upset and typed him a not so great email and I figured we would get into it about that but he has never really said anything about it. I know he got it and read it because he made a couple comments. But he wasn’t really mad then and didn’t really say anything about it. Everything is just as is doing our every day thing. I was kind of surprised about it and that he didn’t get really mad about it and say more. But I don’t feel like he would try to do anything to me or anything like that. I have had the thought the last couple of weeks that he may try to take the kids and things because of the way I have been and how bad I have been. I don’t know why but that has been bothering me for a week or so now it keeps going threw my head. That that he is going to use what I have went threw the last few months against me to try and keep them and not let them have them back. I feel i need to go and fix everything with them and make sure people know that I am with them and that I have them or have them back. But then I can’t show I have a place and things so that don’t look good when they ask. Even if I do he can still use the fact that we are still living here and things to try and keep them. But then I know it is all just my mind because at the same time I tell myself you know he don’t want them all the time and he can’t handle them all the time. He has done said it to many times and to many people have seen it. He has said it in text and letters to me all of witch i have. He says all the time in the same letters and things what a great mom I am and that he don’t want to take them a way from me and they need to be with me and they are better off being with me all the time and that he is ok with just having them on holidays weekends and when he is off and come and get them. He don’t want to not be in their life but he just knows that he can’t do it all on his own like I have been for so long. He couldn’t do it for a week with just two of them. i know part of it is being here with him again all the time too. It bothers me because it confuses the kids and they don’t understand and they are going to have to get use to us all living in different house and things again. I tell them all the time this isn’t going to be this way and it is just a temp thing and stuff but I don’t think they really get it. I have applied to job after job after job and don’t even get a call back. I have a 3 year gap in my employment history because I stayed home with my kids when I got laid off. I put that I worked for my friends store for a while. But there are gaps all in it where I worked until the places closed or I got laid off a lot of times and then if I didn’t have to I didn’t go right back to work I stayed home until I had the baby and stayed home for at least a year or so with them and things. So they still don’t call you back because they don’t feel you are looking for something full time all the time. they don’t think that things change and you may need to work full time now. I can’t do the things I use to do either. I hurt my neck and upper back when I got hit. Plus I got a report from two years ago they just done x rays and said that the bones in my back are deteriorating, there are flat spots in a few different places my back was turning in and like a trapezoid in a spot and that i had all this stuff forming all threw the spine. There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not in some kind of pain most days from it. I have built up such I high pain tolerance from it because I can’t walk around popping pills all the time. I know how to do stuff on the computers but I don’t know the office programs and things like that that everywhere once you to know. I am not a good speller and things either but I can do good and get by I always have with no problems. Then feeling the way I do if I had a job I can only imagain trying to drag my self threw the day and hold it together. I don’t like going out and being around a bunch of people and things. I use to be bad in big crowds I couldn’t do it. But I could go to the store and places and if I had to go into big crowds i knew what was going on and I would talk myself out of wanting to run or have an attack and things. Right now the thought of going into the store is just something I don’t even want to think about. i don’t know so much it is the fact of being around the crowds of people or if it is more the fact that it would take energy to get up get ready and even go threw the store to get the things I need and like everything else I feel I have none left to do anything with. I just don’t know anymore. I feel like a huge mess. I feel like I just want someone to hug me and love me like I do my kids and to tell me everything is going to be ok and that they are here to help take some of the stress off. I have never had that. I never really felt that much when I was a kid I always felt like a berden and like everyone just done what they had to to get by and get us grown on our own. I think that is one reason I fight so hard for my kids and care so much about my kids. I don’t want them to feel that way ever. I love my kids to death and I want them to know that and feel that. I want to be close to them and them to be close to me. That is another reason why this is so hard on me because I know even though they don’t say it and they don’t show it it is effecting them me being this way. I just got to get out of this and get over it and I just don’t know feel like I can this time. I feel like something has a hold of me that is way bigger than me that there is just no way out this time. I have never really felt like this even when I didn’t want to live before I didn’t feel this way. I want to live I want to get over this I want to be here for my kids I want to be that mom they use to know. I just don’t think I am going to ever get back there. Even when I am having really good days I feel like I am walking around in a haze or something. I feel like I have been sleeping the last two or three years. I feel so lost with everything and how to do even the most basic simple things at times. I just don’t know what is going to happen or what to do at this point i really don’t anymore. This has went on for way to long and it just seems there is no end in sight. At least for right now this few minutes now I am starting to calm down some. The wanting to run a way is going a way I feel like I can breath again and I am not crying my eyes out. I feel so exhausted but yet still don’t feel sleepy. My body feels so heavy. I am going to go try to find something to watch and hope peaceful sleep comes soon. I am sure two out of three will be up by at least 8 if not before. I need to be at least a wake and know what is going on and feed them and things. Ex has to work. I really feel like i do just need to get a way for a little bit just me by myself for just a few days or week even to just relax and not have to worry or think about anyone but me for a change. I have not had a kid with me for more than a few hours in the last 4 years. Probably. I all most always have a kid with me or thinking about where they are and being there to pick them up in a little bit or something all the time for the last 3 to 4 years. I might get a break for a few hours once every 6 months. Even then I am still thinking about them what they need if they are ok getting done in time to get back and be there with them on time and on and on. if your a mom you know what I mean. but you probably don’t because you probably have people who help you and support you and your spouse. People who know it is important that that you have a night or two here and there every so often to not have to worry about the kids and just relax. I really don’t have that. I don’t have anyone who watches my kids or takes my kids for the night or weekend or even the day. I really don’t. They are all to busy with their own life or feel that you should be with your kids 24/7 and your a horrible person for not wanting to be.

Bad Influence On My Kids

I hate to say it but I feel like I am such a bad influence on my kids lately. Not that I am doing anything horrible or illegal. Just the way I have been feeling the last few months and things. All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. If I am not sleeping I lay here and watch something on the computer or check things out here and other places. They do their homework play their games and watch tv. I come out sit on the couch and eat dinner then go back to my room if I come out to eat.

Sleeping has been horrible for me the last few weeks. I have always been a night owl but was in bed by 12 most nights. When I was with RC I was doing really good a lot of nights we would be in bed by 10 or 11. Since I have left there and not been feeling good most nights I can’t go to sleep no matter how hard I try. I had a routine down pretty much. I knew no matter what I wouldn’t fall asleep until at least 2:30 am most the time it was closer to 3:30 am. Then I would get up around 6 and get everyone up so they could go to school and work. Then lay back down and sleep off and on until 7 or 8 when my baby boy would get up. I would get up with him and we would go in the living room until the kids got home and took it over. I would give him breakfast and things.

Now 3 comes and goes and I am still sitting here wide a wake. Then before I know it is 6 and time to wake the kids up. By this point now I can’t hold my eyes open. I will pass out and sleep 4 to 6 hours before I wake up. The last 4 or 5 nights my baby boy has been staying up until all hours of the night before he goes to sleep and he is no longer getting up at 7 or 8 an making me get up. He is sleeping straight threw until I wake him up when I get up. It first started when he was sick he was sleeping day and night most all the time only up a few hours. I figured one he got better he would be back on track but he really hasn’t been. Now he is up at night and sleeping in the day. I try everything with him to get him to sleep but he just won’t. I had this problem with my older son when he was younger too but not this young. I don’t know if it is just him if he is going threw a growth spurt or off from being sick. I don’t know if he is having problems like my older son had or if he is just picking up on me and it is from that. I feel bad because I should be getting him up and making him stay up in the day and trying to get things turned back around but I just don’t have the energy to make myself get up much less chase him around.

I missed going to the doctor today because he was up until 5:30 am I was still up at 6:30. I didn’t feel I was able to drive the half hour 45 minutes it is to the doctor sit there for 3 hours and be fit to drive us home. I knew with him not sleeping all night he would be in a mood too and it would be a huge melt down and that we both might end up in a crying heep in the floor. That would look just great wouldn’t it? I figured it was best to just stay home and make it for a little bit later time next week and that way maybe I could find a sitter for him too.

I feel bad for my other kids too I am trying to get up and do things for them and with them but I just have no energy to even think much less do right now. I really wanted to go today and talk to them about what I could take to help me get out of this. At the same time I am scared to take anything even if  they say it is safe because you never really know. They say it is now but then in a few years or months now they say oh no wait this is why your baby has this problem and that problem sorry.

I already have to worry about the autism, anxiety,  depression, downs and things that run in our family. I would hate to think I took something that caused problems or made it more likely for it to have one of the other problems. I already wonder about my older son and if it was because of something that I took they told me I needed because of things that were going on. At the same time I keep telling myself I can’t live another 20 weeks or so like this. Then on the same hand it’s like it’s already been 20 weeks and you made it this far why risk it when there is only 20 more to go. My mind goes 90 miles a minute around and around about all this stuff. It seems like it never stops never takes a break.

Proud Mommy

I have to say I am so very proud of my big girl they got their report cards a few weeks ago and she did very well on it. I think she got all A’s and a B. It was A’s and B’s I know that. The other day she come home all excited she got a certificate for making honor roll. This from the girl who went from what would be honor roll 3 years ago to failing 2 years ago. I went to the school and talked to them about help for her and everything I could do. But they didn’t help her. I took her out of school and put her in a charter school about 10 miles a way from my house. with in 9 weeks she pulled her grades up from all most all failing to all but one passing and by the next 9 weeks they were all passing grades. To back on honor roll with in a year. I help her when she needs it and the teachers help her when she needs help. They always make time and take the time to help any of the kids. I hate that the kids won’t be in their schools when we move a way but at the same time I think my big boy will get more help if we move a way and I think the schools will be better for her too. I think that not only will she do good grade wise but she will have chances to do things that they don’t do in the schools around here. I just had to brag on my baby girl she is doing so good and is such a great kids.

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