Speechless

I can say not much in life surprises me and hardly ever am I left speechless, but last Thursday you could have knocked me over with a feather and I was speechless. I took my big boy to his therapy appointment for the first time in weeks since I started working. We had to change dates and times she was fitting us in. Lucky she had a spot come open so we can go every week at the same time and I will miss just a few minutes of work.

Anyway I was rushing to get there I had left work a few minutes late and had to make a stop before I could pick the kids up. We walk in the office and she still had the person before us in there I didn’t think anything of it she runs over sometimes and works good for us if we are running late. The little door between her waiting area and office was open and you see right in the office when you walk in. I just seen the back of a kid standing there went to move mine into the waiting area so I could close the waiting room door. I looked away and turned back around about that time the kid in the office turned around. I wish I had seen the look on my face when he did. It was RC’s son my little bites brother. He came out and walked past me out of the office. I could not see anyone else in the office so I didn’t know if his mom or grandma had brought him. I turned to look in the hall where he went and he was gone. I looked down the stairs and didn’t see him. I looked in the office and said I think one just went down stairs by himself. By that point I still couldn’t see who was in the office from where I was standing at that point. In a second the therapist walked out and went out to see where he went.

When she walked out in the hall I walked out behind her and the little boy walked past us and back in the office not sure where he had been. She still had her back to me. I closed the door when he went in. She turned around I said I need to talk to you a minute she said ok they are done we’ll talk inside. I said no now here. She looked at me really surprised and said oh ok. I said that is little bites brothers in there. She looked at me and kind of said yeah because my two boys where in there too. She was confused. I said no the two little boys who are in your office are her other brothers. Her eyes got big and she said oh, oh my. I said I don’t know if mom or grandma is with them and I don’t know what either may or may not say I have not seen them in years and I know he told them a lot of things that were not true and the last time I seen the mom was at mine and his house when I called the police on his mom and she was with her. She said ok and we went back inside. I told her I’m not going to start anything or say anything out of the way. Just don’t know how the reaction will be from them or where this may go. The boys came out and stood there waiting on their mom I said hi how are you how you been they just said good and didn’t say much. I could tell they didn’t know who I was or wasn’t sure. Their mom walked out kind of looked past me stood close enough to me we were almost touching and talk to the therapist said see you nest time bye.

The boys were little it has been 3 years since we seen each other so not to surprised that they didn’t know who I was or wasn’t sure if they thought they knew me. I was shocked my big boy didn’t know who they were but they didn’t say anything about him and he was sitting on the floor playing with something and I think he had his back to them and looking down. If he had looked up he may have known who they were and probably would have said something. My little guy was two the day that RC left and then he came back a few days later and we moved out so he don’t remember them. They don’t remember him he’s a little boy not a baby like he was and he has his hair really short now. It was long then.

I don’t think she really looked at who was there just that there was people there. I was even more speechless and surprised. They left the therapist was like oh lord I am going to have to move people around and change times around. I said look don’t do it because of me I know it is hard for everyone to get here the days and times they do, I’m not going to start anything or cause a problem, if we run into each other and it comes up then we can take it from there. She said ok. I said I don’t think she is going to start anything either because we have never spoke even two words to each other the whole time me and him were together. I pull up with her kids in my truck drop them off or pull up and pick them up she stand right outside my door and never say who are you, nothing. You would think any mother would want to at least be induced to the women her kids were living with and who was taking care of them why your in and out of jail and spending your time getting high all the time but not her.

Like I told her I would like the kids to get to know each other and have a relationship and I had been wanting to contact her but hadn’t. I had been trying to figure out how to approach that subject with her. I said maybe if we do run into each other coming or going and she says something then we can talk about it.

If I wanted to start something or just be a bitch I could have said hey CP hey CM remember me? Remember when we all lived together in X with your dad? Remember he told you all a few time we had something to tell you then said no wait? Well he wanted to tell you that we were going to have a baby. See her that’s your sister. But I’m not going to be a bitch like that. It isn’t right to the kids to just throw that out there and tell them that when I have no clue what their mom is going to say or if she is going to let them have anything to do with her. It isn’t fair to them to know they have a sister right there they can’t see or talk to. If it ever is brought up like I said before I would want to talk to her about it without the kids involved then after we decide what we decide or talk get the kids together. If we decided not to then I wouldn’t say anything to them. It isn’t my place to tell them it is their fathers and if he don’t then it is their moms. As for my little bite when she is older she will know she has three other brothers and a sister out there. When she is old enough then she can decide if she wants to look them up and try to have a relationship with them. If it don’t happen before then.

This is a therapist that my son has been seeing since he was little bites age or younger off and on over the years for the past 8 years. Even when we were up there. If someone said hey by the way one day you are going to go to her office and the kids and their mom is going to be there just a heads up, I would have never believed it and told you, you were crazy. Never in a life time did I ever expect to see them there. Anywhere else maybe but there never. Even the therapist said what are the odds? It’s not like I am this big office somewhere. I am a little independent office all the way over here and they are all the way up there miles away. There are so many others between here and there and closer to them for them to end all the way down here.

This should be interesting to see how this all plays out over the next month or two. She said later that, they weren’t there on their normal time so we probably won’t be there the same days like that unless one of us have to change our times for some reason. But her people change around and move so much we all end up running into each other here and there coming and going. I’m not worried about it just got to be better prepared in case we do and something is said.