Single___Parent___Life











{May 7, 2019}   Still No Breaks

I am at my first job and still do not have my truck back. The breaks still are not done because the guy lied and never came to do it. So now I am stuck again. I don’t know what I am going do. My boss here the other one said he could come do it but not until this weekend. I need to get to work all week and things to do. I don’t know what I am going to do. I need to get there and back tonight. I have called everyone that I know. I even asked my good friend he is busy. I called bff and asked her to ask her brother if he would come do it, how much he would charge me and how soon he could get them done for me. I am waiting to hear back from her. But I have two hours before I get off and have to head to my other job. I am sitting here ready to cry. I been fighting not to cry all day. I have looked up shops no one will come out, I have looked up people who say they will come to the house but haven’t heard back from them. I have went through everyone that I know and no one knows anyone or they can’t get to it for days. I can not miss anymore work. I can get through and make shit happen as long as it don’t involve my truck. If I have my truck everything is okay, it goes down and I am sunk and can’t do anything. I messaged the guy that trains me and asked him if he knew anyone that knew how to do it and would come out to the house and he hasn’t answered back. I keep saying I don’t know what to so that is all I keep thinking over and over in my head what to do, how to do it, who to call, how to get to work, how to get home. I never feel so disparate and helpless as I do at times when I have no way to get places and get things done.



{November 19, 2018}   Saturday Night Adventure

After shoppinbg Saturday I decided to go out for a bit. I messaged my friend I went with last Sunday and he didn’t reply for a while. In the meantime my “friend” messaged and wanted to know if he could pick me up. We had been talking about going out the night before and never did. I didn’t hear from the other so I said okay.

I made the kids dinner and told them I was going to see a friend for a bit. I told “friend” to meet me at Bff’s house I had to go by there to drop somethings off. He was coming from north of her so it was like a middle point. I figured we would find something to do around there then he could drop me back off.

He picked me up we went and had a drink then decided to go out to the woods for a bit. We got out there and I thought we were going to get stuck going in, but we didn’t. He was having some trouble with the 4wd on it. It wasn’t wanting to shift. Then it seem to be okay.

Then on the way out I don’t know what he done but then he was asking if I knew how to work it. I said I had one on the floor in my trooper years ago drove the hell out of it in the woods. He was like oh i think I got it after that. Next thing I know we are stuck. He says get over here go when I tell you. I tried then tried a few things it was to late to stuck.

He says I don’t even know who to call but one guy all he has is a little truck. He couldn’t get him. I said lets walk out go walk up and get my truck. It was 5 miles or less away. He wasn’t leaving his truck. I don’t blame him he did when we were kids, by time he got back it was stripped. There wasn’t anyone down where we were, but I heard people walking around in the woods across the street when I went up to the road. In the woods it’s fair game if you leave it a lone.

I called Bff she wasn’t home she was at the store headed home. I told her what happen ask her to come get me so I could get my truck at her house. She dropped her daughter off came and got me. She had no strap old bosses truck was at the shop he drove something else home. “Friend” said he had 3 small ones. I got the truck made my way back out to him. I started backing down in there but not being able to see and it being black dark i wasn’t doing good lol. He ask if I wanted him to back it in. I said yeah or we would be there longer or I may hit a tree or his truck. He laughed. He backed it in the strap wasn’t long enough he had to back closer. He had three very thin and very short straps. I do not think were for towing at all. As he was backing up more I thought to look in my truck. I told him to open it so I could see in. Sure enough my rope was there. I had told the kids to put my strap but think it might be gone but they had the rope out for something and put it in there. We hooked it up i pulled up to get the slack out and waited for him to get in. He got it started and in gear and I walked right out with it.

We were only 25ft or less off the road when he stuck it. He tried to back out I think was a big reason he got stuck. I had him out in less than a minute. He was saying you have to to this and that and don’t forget or don’t do…. I looked at him and said look I’m going pull you out, I know what I am doing. You just don’t slam into me when I get you out. Your not that stuck so don’t worry about trying to give it gas. Put it in gear and wait.

I pulled up until the front of my truck was at the edge of the road and stopped. We got out unhooked them and put the straps away. He was like I can’t believe this happen, I’m mad I let this happen, if the 4wd been working. I said it’s not a big deal, shit happens, don’t bother me none we had a good time or I did anyway. He like yeah I know but still. I said nothing its done over. It bruised his ego and hurt his pride I think. He got stuck such a spot and I had to get my truck and pull him out. He better get some thicker skin not let such get to his ego and pride. Unlike others I careless and not thought twice about it. It don’t make me look at him any differently than I did before it happen. It has been 20 years since he been out done crap like that you screw up get nerves and things. Not a big deal. Hell I got mine stuck in 4wd we had to pull over get it out. He had to get it out I couldn’t for the life of me. But in 3 years that is only 2nd time I have used it. I have the turn knob (hate it, rather have it on the floor) i thought I just turn back to 2wd it switched. I guess you have to put it in nutreal or something. I have to look it up and see what it says. I have only used it to pull people out when they were stuck. Never taken it to play yet. After I fix the front end then I will go play.

 



{October 11, 2018}   Bff’s Truck

I talk to Bff tonight about what the guy from the lot told me about hers and that it was up for repo. She said the guy stop by the shop and talk to old boss today and they worked a deal and it is coming off the list. She said she is supposed to get it back tomorrow. I had told her not to be driving it around and leaving it going in places and things. That the guys that have the job are not people we know like Starfish who wouldn’t do it or who would just go to the house tell her and pick it up. They will just snatch it why she is in the store, school or where ever. The fact old boss has been hiding it you can’t blame them there. But when it was going up before me and him were doing them old boss didn’t know it was up for repo. He thought they wouldn’t do that to them. But you just can’t not pay on things. We told her what was about to happen to her truck and her daughters car. He told her we were not taking the job so they would have to find someone to do it. She said please just take it so we made the money and so that we could just come to the house not get it why she was out or leave her daughter stuck somewhere. We wouldn’t of done that anyway. Even if we had to of taken it why she was out we would of made sure they got home. I would of taken them in my truck after we dropped the other at the lot. But we would of only taken it when they were out had he tried to hide it like now. Still they would of gotten home. We always tried to go at night after work when people are normally home. One it is easier to just pull up to the address and get it than try to race to this place or that in hope’s of getting there before they leave. And it don’t leave them stuck somewhere. Sucks when they get up to go to work or school and it is gone but better to be stuck at home. We only went to get one or two from places other than home that was because we could never catch them home or they moved did not tell them. So then we went to their jobs and the store where the gps said the car was. But they had left by the time we got there and gps only picks up at set times or something. So it takes awhile to get a hit or the gps place only scans for hits every so often or something so using the gps made it hard.

But I told her so she knows. Hope boss really talk to the guy and fixed things but you never know. Like everything else he says whatever will keep him out of trouble with whoever is infront of him at the time. Not my problem anymore. I told her so she can be on the lookout not get stuck. I know she will not say anything. She has figured out things are going on she don’t know about and that people are trying to watch out for her and the kids and that she can’t say anything or all hell is going to break lose all over. That she will be in the dark again no one will help or give her a heads up about anything and that it could cause problems for us.



I was doing my daily round to the store or what before I had to go to work today. Me and oldest, we went to one store and then had to go to another. As I was leaving the parking lot I seen the guy I use to work with from the fast food place. I run into him here and there or see him when I stop in. He always stops me and talks to me. He always makes the comment we should go out when we have free time.

Today as I was leaving I seen him at his truck in the parking lot. I honked and waved as we went by. We got out on the street I realized he was walking around and getting something out of the toolbox. I looked at oldest and said oh I wounder if something is wrong, if he is stuck. I felt stupid for not noticing and stopping. I text him and ask him if everything was okay if he was stuck? Did he need help? He said no he was recharging the air in his truck.

I told him I noticed him in the box after I left wanted make sure i could come back help or run him home. He said no he was good thanks. We talked off and on today. He said again we should get together one day. We talked about our days off and things.

I think I am going to go. I am not looking for it to go anywhere just friends thats all. I have talked about him a few times on here. He is older I think. He maybe in his mid to late 40’s I think more like early 50’s. But he seems to be a pretty decent guy. He is a single dad taking care of the kids on his own. He has three I think. Two are late teens ones about my older two’s age. Think there are 3. I can’t remember. From the little we have talked I don’t think mom is in the picture. We have never really talked a lot about that.

But I figure hell gets me out, I need some new friends who are single. I have to see what I am doing Thursday see maybe do lunch or dinner. I have to see how money looks for me by then too. If not this week maybe next.



Last night at work I took two orders from girl its for bad area. Its a well known drug area, its dirt road to get to it that is horrible most the time and they don’t tip. Only good thing about it is if we have to go its a mile or less from the shop. We aren’t wasting a lot of time or gas.

I ended up with the deliveries out there and one other around the same area. The owner already said it was a tight area to get in and out talking about being in my big truck. She was telling me they would be up and down the sides of the road and trying to stop me and standing in the road. She said just tell them your with us deliverying pizza or food they will leave you alone. They want us to bring them food and know if we have problems we will stop coming. She said there is a little church at the end of the street you should be able to turn around down there. I said oh yeah they have a parking area no problem. She saod no not really just a tiny spot. Worse case you can back out until you get to the other road. The other guy comes along and says something about me going and my truck. They said you want take them on your way or way back from that one your taking? He said no really fast.

Now they have me worried, not about the people on the road or in the road trying to stop me but about getting turned around and out of there. I am expecting this little dirt path you maybe able to get a car or two down. Me with my truck thats it and no way of turning around.

I find the road and while it is a dirt raod leading to it the road itself was paved. So that was good. I turn down and round the corner there some guy on edge of the road under a tree. I think I scared him he look like he was trying to hide and get away. I come around to the straight away and there are cars all up down the sides of the road and I see people up amd down the sides of the road talking back and forth and things. I had my wondow down so I could see around me and hear. Sure enough they start waving and waving stuff at me and coming up to amd infront of my truck. I just act like they wasn’t even there just kept driving. They seen that they got out of my way.

The house I was going to was the last house on the street the church was still about half a block away. I got out gave the people their food. The second order the guy wasn’t there, he was one of the ones up the street trying to stop me. He come run down there get his food. He tipped me like $4 and she tipped me $2 I think. Other drives say they dont get anything down there. I got down got in the truck spoon it around right there in the middle of the street and headed out. They all stayed out of my way and didn’t say anything to me.

A lot of people be scared to go down there because of everyone hanging out what they are doing. But I wasn’t, because everyone knows what goes on down there but no one bothers them or does anything about it. They are not going to want to get someone like me or one of the other drivers down there and do something stupid because then everyone is going to be in there looking at everything and busting the hell out of the place every time they turn around. I just didn’t want to get my truck stuck in there risk hitting something but I was alright. I figure now I will be the one sent when orders are made now because I didn’t have any problems and no one else wants to go. Oh well I am not worried about it. I rather go there than to some of my other orders I have had with weirdos.



{March 30, 2017}   The Fun Just Never Ends

Today I went to school and picked my friend and the kids up and we headed down to look at the parts for the truck. I got to the location of the first one and the bumper wasn’t in great shape at all, one finder was messed all up and all the lights were gone out of it. I called and ask him of I could see the other he said yeah but one finder was messed up on it, he wasn’t sure when he could give me parts off of it because they were not ready to really take it apart yet. Why post if you aren’t? But we figured out I could get one fender off one truck get the other off the other. The hood I decided I did not want at all probably because my hood is in much better shape than the one I was looking at. He told me go ahead come by and look at the other we would talk when I got there decided what I wanted needed.

I got a block or two away and from where I was and my truck died. It was doing the same thing it was a month or so ago when I replaced the part on it. I got it started and got to the gas station, I could’t figure out where the hose was that was lose to put it back on. Father of The Year was supposed to be on his way to work so I called him to come over there to see. He got there hours later. He see’s the hose hooks it up and it ran great. We went over to the other place fast to look at other truck for parts, it was in better shape but hood still wasn’t as good as mine and finders would not work off that one because they have that tan stuff around the edges of them. i told them i just want bumper and stuff and the support piece, he said text the guy let him know he give me a price. I left there made it back to the main road and the hose came off again. I had almost 30 miles to home. I got through the light and made it across the street and just kept going. I give my self room to slow down but not have to stop at lights so they would turn green before I got to them and then sped up once they turn green we got out of the busy area away from lights we just cruised. We started getting back into town I knew we were coming up on a bunch of lights and traffic was getting bad I decided to go a back road to a parts store I knew up the street I only have to get through two lights to get to it. I got to the second one and had to sit with my foot on the gas and break and we had sit through two light changes. Smoke was pouring from under the hood and around the wheel. My friend the kids were starting to get scared and worried it was going to catch on fire. I pulled over to cut through the lots but then seen I couldn’t I had clear shot on that street and it was two drives up so I hit it and raced over there. I ask the guy to come out and tell me what the part was I needed and how much it would be. He came out looked at it said um I don’t know let me get someone else. They take it in and talk about it then say we are going to help you put we really are not supposed to. The kid walks out with it I said what about the clamps? He says we can’t put them on. I can just stick it back on for you. I said it is just going to come off in a minute it has be clamped. He said i am not even supposed put this on for you they will not let me clamp it. I said okay fine where are clamps let me buy some I will do it myself. Come show me where to hook it back up. We get out there where it went was way back on the back down under the windshield and firewall in the middle. I could not reach it to hook it up. I ask them for something to stand on to get up in there so I could do it they dint’ have anything. By this point I am just pissed off. They won’t help me after saying they would, they won’t give me something to stand on. I ask them for a new part so it will just slide on they can do it. He says I am not even supposed to be here I am supposed to be out dropping parts let me get one of the other guys to get you a price on that new because they were supposed to and didn’t. They just told me to clamp it on it would be find but had no clue what the a part was or called. I go back in waiting on the guy find me a new one I know have 30 minutes left to get the kids. Father of the Year is bitching because has to leave work come help after going in late.

After we got there and got out my friend Wanda says look there is something leaking there a trail from road to your truck. I looked it was the tranny leaking again. I even ask the guy when he came outside he said yes it was too.

I called my J’s husband to ask him if he knew what this part was called so they could look it up give me new one. He wasn’t sure the part I was talking about so I took picture and sent it to him. He said it was just a pipe I didn’t need to buy a new one there was nothing wrong with that one it just got stretched out clamp it and it would be fine. I told him the fluid was leaking from the tranny and ask him why he said no that is power steering you probably…..I stopped him I said no it is from the tranny the power steering is full I been under it and looked other guy has it is from the tanny. He said that isn’t possible it is not hooked to anything to do with that. I said yes and last time it came off it did same thing. I didn’t do anything to that hose we thought it came off because other part was messed up fixed it. But it was more to it. He kept telling me no it couldn’t be there be nothing for it on that side of my truck. I said well I know it is. When he first started telling me it was something else i was so mad I was hot i been sitting in the sun stuck for hours and now stuck again. I know what I am talking about I know a little bit about cars I been around this stuff all my life. Father of the Year just been telling me it wasn’t and going on and on too. I was pissed they acting like I am stupid. I don’t care if it is supposed to do that or not, I don’t care if there are not lines for that on that side of the truck in that spot. If I say this is what is happening then this is what is happening, don’t tell me I am wrong, just answer my question or tell me you have no idea. Trying to tell me I am wrong and that it is something else is just going to piss me off. I wasn’t nasty with him or anything but I just told him no it is this two of us have checked it. Father of the Year finally got there and I raced to get the kids. I was like 5 minutes late thank God that was all. Father of the year clamped everything on and added tranny fluid because guess what was low? I know none of the floods were low because me and my friend had just checked them before I went to school today. We were just talking about how all that stopped leaking how great it was running and things that we should check the fluids to make sure they were still full and that everything was fixed since we had not checked them since I fixed the truck. Guess what it been home since 7 I think and not a drop of anything on my driveway, it isn’t leaking.

I was going to call my other friend that put the pipe on for me last time and ask him why it would leak tranny fluid when it came off see what he said I hadn’t gotten a chance. I shouldn’t have but I was so tired and done by time we got home and in the house since I forgot my house key when i left father of the year with my keys. I came in laid down put my phone on to charge and talk to a friend that called and then took a shower. by then it was 8 something. I said forget it I am ordering pizza for the night and did. I didn’t figure he be the one to come tonight but he was. The kids said pizza is here I said it’s paid get it then I remembered tip gave them tip money. I waled out for something and heard my friend say isn’t your mom here? They said yeah. I was at door by then I said yes and went out. I forgot had sign for it. He knows I don’t leave my kids home alone so he was probably wondering if everything was okay or what was going on I didn’t answer because I always do at night but they looked said it is pizza and I knew it was coming, I was just going let them get it I was doing something in my room. I think they said yes he said can I talk to her before I could move door and go around. I think he was trying see if they were telling the truth before he called me to see why they were home alone or make sure I knew they were.

I said glad you brought it I was just going call you I have a question. He said oh lord from you that is loaded and scary. I said I spent all day broke down and stuck that part came off again. He said didn’t you fix that? I said yes but the other one, he said it got to much oil in it your going to have to replace it to then. I said okay why does this leak when it comes off. He said it’s oil, I said nope tranny fluid. He said same as J’s husband, it can’t it isn’t even hooked together. I said but it is it did last time and today and now it stop we fix the hose put it back on. He said that isn’t possible. I said it did unhook it and watch. He said I have no idea I am going to have to look some things up and try to figure that out they are not even the same systomes or connected. So he will probably be back over on his day off to see this and see that I know what I am talking about because like the other he thinks it is something else.
I said isn’t this nice two of you who have a bout 50 or more years experience between you both telling me this is not happening and can’t and I am watching it with my own two eyes do it and seen it happen twice now.

I guess between the two of them being so stumped they will be going over it to figure out why it does that. I don’t care just as long as it don’t break anymore I’m good. It seems like I always have something on my vehicles that they tell me no it isn’t like that it is like this, I’m like um well yeah not mine it is like this. It seems to never fail no matter what I get how big or little there will be something that isn’t how it should be or something that isn’t right or something.



{June 25, 2015}   The Walking Continues

Today I have checked off and on to see if my money was there really not expecting it to me until sometime tomorrow. Well I checked around 3 and nothing was there we got a really bad storm me and the kids laid around read and watched some tv. I fell a sleep laying here watching something on tv with them when I went to get up something said check to see if it was there or not so I did and I had a email saying it had been put on my card. I called the card to make sure and sure enough it was there. It was a little after 4:30 the place closes at 6. I called couple people got no answer so I got the kids already and we headed out. I got lucky and had two strollers so I put the little ones in them and me and my big boy pushed them. It took us about 35/40 minutes to walk all the way up there. 

The place was packed the line was down the aisel and around the back. We waited and waited finally got up there and the women gave us off to the guy who was helping me when I left it. He got my idea and looked everything up, I pulled my bank card out and went to hand it to him and he said I can’t take that it has to be cash for all pick ups. I about cried we were all so hot my little guy needed to go to the bathroom they wouldn’t let him use it there. Said we had to go to the store next to them. He knew we had walked up there. He was like I am so sorry you walked all the way up here and have waited this long. He said if I could leave I would take you to get the money and come back. He asked if I wanted him to call us a cab. I told him no they cost a small fortune and then want to charge extra for each person and you wait a hour or more to even be picked up. We could walk it home by before it would get there to pick us up. We left and I walked over to the other store to take my little guy to the bathroom and they were closed, we walked down to the diner we like to eat at and they were closed. There wasn’t anything else close to take him we had to back track to even head home then. 

Then father of the year calls says he was getting dropped off here I tried to get him to ask the guy who gave him a ride to pick us up of course he had an excuse for not asking him. I told him I would pay him if he would just pick us up. I finally got the kids to the house I left them with farther of the year and walked over to the college to get money so I would have it tomorrow and I could get more tomorrow. I can only get $500 at the atm and they said I can get up to $500 at the store and I need $1400. It is supposed to be free at the school atm to get it and only cost me 50 cent to get it at the store. I figured I go to the school tonight then again in the morning and then to the store in the morning. Needless to say it rained yet again. thank god it wasn’t to bad and we didn’t get soaked. By the time I got home I had been out walking for almost 3 hours. Father of the year thinks nothing of it, acts like no big deal. Wants to try and get the van to start and drive it. It’s just going to get stuck again and cost me more money because we don’t have the parts to fix what we think is wrong with it and if we are wrong because it hasn’t been checked to see for sure. I said no just take them in and forget it. 

Thank God tomorrow my friends going to come when her husband goes to work and take us to get the rest of the money and then go get it. If that fall through I guess we will get up early and try to figure out the bus and figure a way to take the bus from place to place or as close to them as we can get. I didn’t have time today to figure it all out and it was so late a lot of them weren’t running any more. 

As much as I have walked and sweated this week I should have lost 20lbs easy. But I bet I haven’t lost any. If I had it may all be worth it. 



{June 25, 2015}   Out Walking In The Night

The other day I posted about running out of gas with my friend and two little s (Your Not Going To Kill Me, Are You). I walked up to the station got gas and a ride back  to the van.

Well last night I left the kids with father of the year and went to church, I haven’t been in almost a month and missed bible study last month. I really felt I needed to go. We put about $15 in gas yesterday and he put in another $5 this morning. We have went hardly no where on that $20 at all. My big ass truck gets over 10 miles to a gallon I know this little mini van should get at least that if not more so on $20 I should have been able to go them places home and him back to work and home again.

I get half way home from bible study and break down right in front of my old job. I nearly make it off the road and into their lot before it wouldn’t go any more. I called all over to try and get someone to come help me and everyone was busy or working. I sat there a little bit and decided to go try and get gas.

I walked up to the little store and paid over $10 for a little tiny gas can and got $2.50 in gas. I went to walk back to the van this older guy come out of the store and called to me. I walked back over the guy working in the store came out he said he is ok really nice guy I have known him for a while he will take you back to your car if you want. I thought at that point may as well I rather fight than walk tonight. We got back to the van and put the gas in it still wouldn’t start. The guy finally left and I called farther of the year had him call work and have them send a tow truck.

I have no idea what is wrong with it sitting there doing nothing and it makes this grinding and growing sound. No key on or in it. I think it is possessed really I do. At this point I really don’t care. I just needed it to last until Friday because I didn’t get my money Tuesday. Went to the school they said it wouldn’t be there until the end of the week. At this point I have nothing to do, no where to go today, I will just find a way to go get my truck and forget it. It needs to much work and not worth it to me to put money into it to make it run again for a day or two when it needs so much other stuff that is going to be a problem soon. I told them the other day I think it is something besides the gas because I thought it should have had gas in it the other day when we got stuck too. Now they think it is something wrong with the fuel pump. Even though the gage didn’t work and read full one minute and empty the next once it got to low it would ding and once it started to ding you had to get gas right away. It hasn’t dinged the last two times it was supposedly out of gas. But if it is the fuel pump even if it isn’t out if it gets to low it would still keep it from pulling it up through there so it wouldn’t run.

Everyone says they can come take a look at it or wants to buy it but don’t want to pay anything for it. I told them at this point it is tagged until October I can leave it sit parked and nothing no one can do about it for now. I have to much other stuff to worry about to think about what to do with it. If I sell it I have to track my brother down get him to sign papers and then sit at the tag office for hours to get at title. No one wants to give me over $500 to $600 for it. It will cost me $100 to get a title so I am back down to $500 plus the hours sitting waiting to get a title with 4 kids. I went to just get my license the other day and sat for 2.5 hours. It is no different than sitting and waiting for a title. I can scrap it for $500 with no title why would I want to sell it for $600 or even $700 to still end up with only $500 by the time I sit wait and pay for a title. They don’t seem to understand that. My friend wants the tires if they are in good shape. I figure I will sell them the tires for it and get his old ones and put on it and still sell it for $500 for scrap and still be at $600 or more and not have to do all the running around putting out money and waiting. If he wants anything else off of it I can sell him that too and then scrap it.

Its pouring here so not like we would have been going anywhere today any how.



et cetera
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