{January 16, 2017}   I’m Tired

so ends post for day two now on to day three. I seem to only have the one post for day three so day 4 will follow.

I’m tired, tired of hardly keeping the bills paid and havening to depend on him to give me money. I wish one of these jobs I applied for would call me to come in. I just want to get my tax money and school money so that I can budget my bills out and have a little bit to do something with. Sitting here and can’t use the computer because I can’t pay the internet, can’t go anywhere because there is no money to go. I can hardly use my phone get some of my calls and some I never get because I can’t get a new phone. Ask him to do something as simple as getting the information needed to send the other one in and he can’t even do that. It won’t cost him anything to do it but he still won’t. He don’t care if I am here with the kids and have no phone to make a call if I needed to.

I spend most the time I am awake in my room because I still do not have my couch in my living room. He got it to the backroom by himself but now he can’t get it back in the house. We have a loveseat big enough for two people to sit on and a couple office chairs to sit on in there. The kids sit out there and play and watch tv that is it. I sit at the table in the dining room like now while I am making dinner and making sure the kids do their chores or while I eat.

I want to get my couch and things listed again so that I can hopefully sell it with everyone getting tax money back next month. Well more like March probably for most. I got a text yesterday said my tax return had been accepted by the IRS but I have earned income credit so I have wait until the 15th before it will be released and then up until the 27th to get it. I thought that I missed any of the tax credits this year since I had not worked all that much but I guess not. I can at least count on that it is almost a full month’s rent so it will be a help. I figure that will cover what I had to borrow, the price of the washer, and most of the repair on my truck. I won’t have to touch my school money for that.

I am still waiting on a replacement card for SSI because mine expired New Year’s Eve. I went to use it and it wouldn’t give me the balance when I called in. Then it said it was no good. They say they sent me one but I do not remember getting it. I think it got thrown away by accident if I got it or I put it up so I wouldn’t lose it. Go figure. I called to replace it and they said 5 to 7 business days but I have not seen it yet in the mail. I hope that it comes soon. I must have it the first to pay my rent. I cannot be late I am too close to signing a new lease. I am praying they don’t up my rent and that they have no reason to not sign me a new lease. I haven’t given them a reason but I don’t know if they have decided to do something else with it. I don’t think they have it seems they would let me know and I think the land lord is very happy with me as he wanted me to sign a new lease last year. They were calling me and telling me he wanted to sign a new lease with me if I wanted to. I want to ask for a privacy fence but I don’t know if he will do it or not. I think if I could just talk to the owner he would, but I don’t think the office will even bring it up to him and ask him. They will say we will talk to him and then it will never be brought up. I asked once before but then the air or the roof had problems so I didn’t push the issue because I knew they just spend a bunch on it. I am going to ask when they come to me and ask me to sign a lease again. Then tell them I will be in to sign it when they give me an answer.

I am tired of having the dogs in the house 24/7 and having to keep them in a cage if someone comes over if I need to walk out of the house. I hate they can’t go outside of the leash and can’t even be in the yard on a leash if someone isn’t out there with them to make sure no other dogs come in the yard. I don’t want another little or two of puppies.

My eyes are burning out of my head right now because I cut up an onion 30 minutes or more ago to go in the meat for dinner. They are making my head hurt and face hurt. I just want to go to sleep and I can’t. I didn’t go to sleep until after 5 this morning and didn’t get my homework done either. I must stay up and get it done tonight because it is due tomorrow and we cannot turn anything in late at all. I don’t want to start off turning stuff in late or missing work.

I still have this spot in the ruff of my mouth I probably have written about it before sine I have had it since I was pregnant with my 3rd over 6 and a half years ago. I went to the doctor they gave me medication for infection said they didn’t see it but felt something. It never went away; I have been on medications many times over the years and a ton this time last year when I was having all the pain in my face. It has never gone away. It is kind of hard like bone but then other times it kind of squishes like it has fluid or something in it. I hurt and makes my mouth hurt too. I have had a bunch of ct scans of my neck and around that area and I think even my sines and things before. But they never say anything if they see it. I didn’t go back to the ent because he said all the pain and problems I was having was from infection in my teeth. If it was my white count would have been off it wasn’t. I had been on three or more medications for infection and everything. If it was infection it would have been gone. My teeth did not hurt he tried to tell me they are dead. I know they aren’t because they hurt, not all the time but sometimes. I keep wanting to take something and stick the place in the roof of my mouth and see what happens. But then I am kind of scared to. I think more because I don’t want it to hurt more than anything else. I can’t stand for my mouth to hurt and I don’t want to do something to it and it start hurting and not stop.

I have to go make dinner I tell my oldest to put the meat in the skillet and start it she don’t bother to turn it on. I am still trying to just see straight from the onions, I can’t believe they are still bothering me. We have aired the house out and everything. I am the only one they are bothering.

{January 16, 2017}   Got To Love The Government

I filed taxes the other day and it is still waiting for the IRS to start taking returns. Then I get a letter from the tax place telling me because I got a little bit in earned income credit they will not release my return until at least February 15th and then I may not have it in my bank until February 27th. It pretty much says not to call or bother them until after the 27th if I do not get it. I thought I would be getting it back by the end of this month or the first week of next month. But nope not until almost March first now. I am going to put about $60 with that and use it to pay a month’s rent when I get it.

I am trying to work my budget so that I can pay 7 months’ rent. Then I will get money from school again. But hopefully I will be working by then as well and can keep paying each month until the year is paid off and I don’t have to worry about it again until January. I may keep enough out to pay for classes this summer to try and get on track after messing up last semester. If I do Summer classes, then I will finish Spring of next year. I was going to finish fall of this year or Spring of next depending on if I took classes this Summer or not. Now I have to take them this Summer if I want to finish Spring of next year and still not sure I will then or not. I don’t know I have a lot to sit down and look at and a lot to decide.

{January 8, 2017}   Not Ready

I was just looking at my stuff here and I am not ready to start school tomorrow. It seems like no matter how much I pick up and try to clean out the house so things can be organized it just makes a bigger mess. It is like a never ending story of crap everywhere. I haul truck loads of stuff out and turn around there is more. I am at my wits end with it all.

I still haven’t gotten my internet up and working it’s a mess. I have to apply and wait I tried to do that and can’t get a page to load to print the paper out. I filled out my taxes I am getting hardly anything back but that was expected. I only claimed one kid because claiming both only made a $20 difference so I am going to let Father of the Year claim him and spit the money.

I have to be in class tomorrow morning at ten minutes to eleven. I am really not looking forward to that at all. I dread taking a class at the school. I hate the idea so much, I don’t want to have to sit there for an hour dealing with a bunch of people. I just not a people person if I don’t know the people and it is a forced situation. My other classes are on line now and my net is about to run out. I have to go tomorrow and see if I can pay a couple dollars extra and keep it on until Sunday when I pay my bill.

I am not sure how I am going to pay the bill Sunday but I have to. I have to go apply for a job tomorrow as well. I may have to go to the college or somewhere and do my work until I get my money so I can fix the internet I don’t know how I am going to do this yet. I really don’t want to go with the service I am trying to sign up for but I don’t want to keep paying a bunch for the service I have either. I guess I will have to figure something out.

I am sitting here now trying to make myself get up and cook dinner so we all can go to bed at a decent time. Have filed my taxes, signed up for my parking permit, tried to sign up for my internet and did one of my boards for one of my classes already. I hope to be able to do the rest of the ones for my other classes tonight. Get a little bit of a head start. Not much considering they all start in about 6 hours.

I was hoping I could have my tax money back in a week or two but it says the IRS isn’t even taking returns yet or something. Mine is sitting there on the site waiting for them to start taking them so it can be turned it. Then I should get it back in a week and half I hope. I just hope the fact I got divorced don’t hold it up. It ask if you got divorced or married. I put divorced. My w2 is in my married name my social security card and everything is in my maiden name. I called H&R Block the lady told me to file it with my first name my married name then my last name. I know that won’t work because it has to match the social card. I called another one and the lady told me to just file it with my legal name now because they match everything to the social number. It will show all names I have went by. I did it as she said because she told me right away with no problem what to do and how to file it and I was thinking the same thing they should see it on my card and that is the big thing is it matches. Plus the other lady kept stopping and thinking and told me to do it that way and said it didn’t really matter and kept stopping and thinking and didn’t sound like she really knew what she was talking about.

Now I must got to the chickens because I forgot and it is cold out. We have to feed them and water them. I wish I could skip it but we missed a day last week and didn’t go yesterday since we went Friday. I am going to be glad when they are gone.

{March 22, 2016}   Flexible Job

I have been racking my brain and searching like crazy trying to find some kind of job that I can do from home or something I can start to work from home. Last week I went and met with a man about renting a space to open a store. The space was a small space but it is in a high traffic area for kids and their parents. That is great since I want to sell children s things. It was very reasonably priced, He only wanted $300 a month for rent and that included lights and water. But then I started checking into other things I would need and the things I would need just to fix the place up a little. It had to be painted and I needed a large rug for the floor then just some shelves. I checked into all the licenses I would need and crunched numbers with money and I just didn’t feel I could do it. I would need it to start making money from the start, no time to wait for it to start making money. Right now I would need it to pay the rent for the shop, my rent at home, all the sales and other taxes on top of a phone. If I done it I would have nothing left to fall back on. The guy was supper nice and really wanted me to take the space. I was really studying if I could have enough room and looking around. He asked what was  wrong if the rent was to much what I would need to rent it. I told him I was wanting to make sure that it would give me enough room. We were talking about what it would cost to move in, he had said first last and deposit, then he said lets just say first and deposit we don’t need to worry about last I trust you and think it will be fine. I told him I had to think about it. After I got home and crunched the numbers I just couldn’t do it.

The space would not have given me room to take the kids with me I would have to have a sitter and that would have added to what I needed to make every month. Right now would have been ok because Father of the year isn’t working but I can’t count on that. I was hoping to have something with a small office space I could set a room up for them to play and do school work.

I am back to looking and trying to find something, I have all the time in the world and little money. Story of my life it seems. I have thought about one of these where you sell stuff but I really don’t know who would buy it. My friends and family are just not into that kind of thing. It kind of reminds me of the kids who get sent home from school with the fliers to sell stuff. I did try it once and no one showed up and the company went out of business before I even got to try and make anything of it. It really sucked and kind of turned me off to that kind of thing. All though I think if I could do good if I could find something to buy and sell or make and sell that you don’t have to be to crafty to do. I am not crafty. Even if I could find something to sell on Etsy or Ebay. Even if it didn’t bring in a ton of money right away I wouldn’t have all the expenses.

I was going to become a Notary before and just never did it. I was looking into it the other night and if you are a notary you can also pay and take a class to be a signing agent for loans. I am thinking about doing it. I would get the information emailed or mailed to me, they would give me the information for the people who need to sign and then I would contact them and meet with them to get everything done. Once it is done I would make sure it got back to the office that asked me to do the job. I would just have to make sure it is all done right and turned in on time. I would travel to the people and set up a time that works best for them and me to go. From what I have found they make between $250 to $300 sometimes more depending how far away it is and how big of a package of information and things. I have also read that it is a sellers market in my area right now and that there are not many homes in the area for sale. But it isn’t just for people buying it is for refinance and things as well.

As a notary I can do weddings, so I have been giving this a lot of thought the last few nights. I think I am going to become a notary, advertise to do weddings. I make $30 for doing the wedding then travel fees depending how far away it is how long I have to be there and things. I am thinking of doing this really advertising for them and other normal notary things. Putting all the money but what it cost me for gas away to take the class to do the other. Or just taking it and hope to make the money back quickly. I will have to decide tonight. It won’t cost as much as opening the store but still about $400 for the class a license and everything.

{February 9, 2016}   Always an Excuse

Since we haven’t gotten the divorce final yet me and father of the year have to file taxes together. We can each file our own but then we don’t get the credits we should filing that way. I get credit for school and the kids. If I file my own I will get less than $500 back. If we file together we will get back way more than that because we can get the credits. If he files alone he may even end up owing. But father of the year still owes a ton of money in student loans that he has done nothing about other than throw the letters in the trash when they come in the mail. Now if we file together they will keep all of it for what he owes in loans. I have been telling him for months he needs to fix it and take care of it. I have been telling him the last few weeks to call and get it take care of so we can file and he just says ok or his famose excuses. He don’t have time, he hasn’t gotten to it, he has to work, he stubbed his big toe. He gets off in time to call them but yet I have told him to call the last two days when he got off but he didn’t. Who knows what his excuse is for that.

He knows I need the money, he knows that I have been off work and probably will be for another week or two and that I missed work being sick and will probably miss some from having to have this operation done. I think he wants to just see us get put out again so we have to go back my moms. He knows I won’t do that and thinks that I will let him come back here to keep from having to go back to her house. He is stupid because he could use the money he is getting back too. He could get caught up on his bills and things. He don’t like it that it will let me take care of what I need to take care of and have some left to put up for savings if I get back to work. He don’t ever want me to have any money at all extra and if I am behind and trying to play catch up or juggle everything around to keep it all going is even better to him. Before when he was here if he found out I had any money at all he would refuse to pay anything or give me money for anything until he knew I had spent all mine and had none. I would hide what I did have and he would search until he found it. I tried putting it in my bank account and he waited until i was sleeping took my card and checked the balance on it. I guess he ask the kids for the number because he knew they used it sometimes. It just pisses me off because I had plan to pay the lawyer to get all the paperwork done and the divorce back in front of the judge. He knows he would get nothing or close to nothing back if I don’t file with him and file the kids because I am claiming them if i file on my own. Like I told him before I am putting them on mine if I have to file because he hasn’t paid anything for them all year why should he get a bunch of money back for them to blow like he dose his paycheck every week and still not buy them anything and me do it all. Not going to happen.

So now I am trying to figure out something I can do the next few months from home until I get called back to work and this operation taken care of. I would like to try something why I am waiting this time and if I find something that I can really make some money at then I may just keep doing it instead of going back to work. I was hoping to use a little of my tax money for that as well but can’t now until he fixes all this. I just can’t wait to get this divorce done. I have to get it done right away if I do get any tax money because I am not going to keep living like this. I’m just so tired of fighting and living like this, I’m tired of not having money and living check to check. I am really not use to living like this and not having a little money to go do something or take care of things that come up. Its been a few years but I still just can’t get use to it. I am just so tired and fight being depressed and trying to get things turned around. It seems like something always happens. Just like now I should be caught up and be ok util I go back to work but then missed all that and didn’t get caught up yet.

{March 13, 2014}   One Step Closer To…..

Being debt free, $5970.50 to be exact. Not bad considering I was about $$8500 give or take in. Didn’t happen under the best way it could have and I really could use the money right now I am ok with it. I’m not stressed and feel that everything is going to be ok.

We filed our taxes last Wednesday and by Friday they said it would be in the bank by Tuesday. I was hoping it would slide through without being caught and just go in since they did it so fast. But it didn’t. I owe student loans. Wait I owed student loans and was in default. I should have taken care of it but really hadn’t felt like it and then just busy. I didn’t know what to tell them either I really didn’t have any money to pay them. I have sat here for months and months without a dime to do anything. Just now starting to get things turned around. When I tried to talk to them all they wanted to hear was that I would send them X amount every month. I couldn’t so I just hadn’t called them back. Well Monday when I checked my taxes it said they had taken the $5970 out for my loans. They are now all paid off. Don’t leave much to move on none to fix my truck or try to buy the one I been looking at or any to start the business I had been working on. But at least I don’t have to worry about it. It least it won’t happen when it is just me and the kid and we may need it more than we do now.

The good new to is I can now go back to school. I can get government grants and loans again. I am going to try to go in next week and see if it is to late to sing up for summer classes online. I’m not taking out anymore loans right now. Just going to do what I can with grants. Then will see what to do with the rest. Maybe closer to the end I may take a few out. But once I finish school I shouldn’t have any problems paying them back. I will get a better job then I have ever had I hope and make decent money.

I the next big thing I have to get paid off is the loan I took out with RC on my truck. It is about two thousand maybe twenty five hundred now I’m sure. I paid and paid on it but after I had the baby I wasn’t able to pay on it. I have had to use that money to pay for stuff for the baby every month. Diapers and things are not free and with no help from RC I been doing it all myself. I am thinking that when I go for support on itty bitty asking them if they can have him help pay the loan back. I don’t know if they will but if they do that will be great every little bit helps. I could take him to court and sue him for it but don’t know if I really want to be bothered with all that. I have to find him and go to court and everything for baby girl and finish court with father of the year over our divorce so I probably won’t even mess with it.

Other than that I have a couple little things here and there that I need to take care of. Then I should have pretty good credit. I will have credit for once that isn’t good or bad or none. I went from none to bad.

et cetera
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