Single___Parent___Life











Little Bitty went to the doctor for a checkup or something and they were talking about how small she is. She is 9 and 40lbs still. She was on the chart just below the other kids her age. But now she is falling off the charts. They sent her to a specialist to get testing and figure out what is going on. He couldn’t find anything and said she needed to go to a GI doctor.

He sent us home with paperwork for a bunch of test first. He said he wanted to get these test done first because the GI doctor would want to go straight to scoping her and he didn’t want them to do that if it could be avoided.

We did the first round and it came back she isn’t absurding the nutrition like she should. But they said the test could be wrong so we have to reduce it and if it comes back the same we see what doctor we go to from there. If it is fine we see where we go from there. I just hope it isn’t something to bad and they can take care of it easily and she doesn’t have to go through to much.



I did not have health insurance at the time because it cost way to much through work and I made to much to get Medicaid. After the experience I had with my first I was scared to death not being able to go see the doctor I had with my last three kids. She was amazing and my pregnancies, labor and deliveries went amazing. I called to see how much it would be to go in as a self pay and they told me between $2500 and like $3500 I think depending on if you had to have a c section and if you had to have to much extra intervention during your pregnancy.

Me and Jw talked about it and he said it wasn’t that much considering what we were paying for. He said he did not mind paying for it so that I could have the doctor that I was comfortable with and trusted. He knows me and knows that I am pretty much just go with the flow and work things out some other way, I didn’t just want my way or what. That it was something that would be hard for me to just go with someone else not knowing them and that once you are to far in can’t change. He had told his friend at work and the owner about the baby. I knew and was okay with that because they wouldn’t tell anyone and they are the only ones he really seen or talked to he spends all day with them so it be hard for it not to slip. He went to her and asked her to take a loan so we could pay it and he just made her payments on it until it was paid off.

We went to the first appalment and they didn’t really do anything but set us up for an ultrasound. They said I had to see a high risk doctor as well. I really didn’t want to but they insisted I needed to get a hold of them and make an appointment right away. I just said okay and left. I told him I would wait until I seen my doctor that was just the nurse practitioner. She sent me for some bloodwork as well. We had refused a bunch of it so they just did the basic work up they do. We don’t get any of the genetic test or anything like that. I had talked to him about it before we went to make sure we agreed and he was okay with it. I explained why I didn’t get it and everything and he felt the same way I did after I explained it to him. He didn’t really care either way when we first started talking about it. He looks at it as I have been through this 4 times before, I am the one going through it and he trust my judgement. But I still wanted to go over it all and see how he really felt about it.

We left and I started reading all the paperwork they gave me for the other doctor, bloodwork and ultrasound. It stated on them that I was either elderly or geriatric and obese. I was like what the fuck? But I was 40 and going to have him when I was 41. But still I was like wow they never even said anything about age or anything else why we were in there. I figured they would say something because of my age and I know they don’t like you to have kids after the age of like 35 or consider you high risk after 35. But to not say anything and just put this on all the paperwork seemed kind of off. Seems like if it was that big of a deal that you have to put it on the paperwork and make note of it and want them to check for different things because of it they should make you a wear of it. This was a new NP and I wasn’t real impressed with her anyway but she is who you see for your first two visits then you see the doctor. That is your blood work order and anything else like that and then your pap test and everything the 2nd.



{September 11, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.9…..Not Happy

If you have been following my Covid Encounters you know we have had over half the office staff test positive for Covid. We have had the office shut down for the last few weeks.

Then I went in Tuesday and the new girl was back and the new book keeping lady. Both tested positive. I’m not thrilled it wasn’t what we were told but I guess if she got a negative okay.

I didn’t go yesterday Wednesday because I was up all night sick and went some places to try and get help with my gallbladder. Today I go in they are there. About 10 or 11 she says she is calling about her test results. I’m thinking what results? She comes in and say’s they told her it could take 6 weeks. Then she says something about being surprised the owner let her come back without a negative. I was pissed. I started to say something and I didn’t. I didn’t want to start shit.

After they all left the HR lady and me were the only ones there. I went in and ask her. She said yeah she had no say and questioned it to. She said but they had her look up the CDC and what they said about when people could come back. That is what they are going by. It says after 10 days if not sick.



{September 9, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.8

I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I pull up to work yesterday and there are a lot of cars in the lot. I was thinking driver’s parking in our lot since it isn’t being used. I pulled up to park and notice that one is the new girl’s van. Then I see the new accounting ladies car. I go in and they of course are both there. Then I notice another person there. The office floater I call him. He is the go between for the office and drivers and helps here and there. They later said the guy I worked with on the night shift was going to be coming back in.

All 4 of them are ones who tested positive in the first round of test. Just over two weeks ago. They say they all have been tested and have negative test now. But I still kind of feel they should be home in case seeing as the test contradict each other so much. Two test in one day same person one says yes one says no. If this is going to put people out of work for weeks at a time then they should not be bringing people back who we know have had it right away. They are working from home. They have already said the 2 of us who have been there are most important in being in the office. That they were not going to put us at risk. My old boss from dispatch has said he don’t want his guys all back in there. He said like 3 one day 3 another rotating so they are spaced out and everyone isn’t exposed to everyone. That way if someone came up positive only those 3 would have to test and stay home. They have to stay in their area and use the back door so they are not in contact with us. We can email or call back and forth if we need to.

Further more the one’s who were negative all along were going to be the first to come back a few a week. Then the rest a few a week. Some who wanted to strictly work from home could. There are a few and that would cut down on things too.

So pulling in seeing all that I wasn’t real happy. I don’t know maybe I am wrong for thinking they should be last to come back. But no one knows no real way to handle this or even to know if they had it at all. Who’s to say the one’s of us who tested negative test was wrong. But I feel if they were we wouldn’t have 2 or more that say no and none that said yes. Some who’s test showed they had it never felt sick. Other’s had colds and that was it. So in that case why do we need to wait 14 day’s from a positive test before we can test again? Why can’t we go whenever and get tested and be allowed to come back as long as it is negative?

I just don’t know I am just over all this. I want them to go back to life as normal and move on with life.



{August 27, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 5 & 6

I went to work at normal time Wednesday and the other lady in billing was the only one there. I asked her if she knew who the other person was who tested positive and she said it was the other HR type person. He I guess got his test results back that day at work from one of the ones he took last week. She said the HR lady said she couldn’t tell us and that we really needed to stop talking between us and telling each other who it is. We all feel no that isn’t going to fly we want to know so we know if or how much we been around them and things. She is the other one who is waiting on her test to come back from last week and this week. And feels she may have it she woke up not feeling good yesterday or today and now her husband.

Me and the lady in billing were talking we are glad they aren’t going to let anyone back in until next week and then just a few. Then when we were leaving last night  the owner’s wife came up. They talked a few minutes she left. She came knocked on my window and said she told her he is thinking that he isn’t going to let anyone but us come in for two weeks. That is fine with me. I think we can get caught up and organized without everyone there. She don’t have 10 people calling her away every few minutes or 20 coming asking questions when they aren’t calling her away. The normal everyone in and out doing their thing distractions aren’t there.

Today I went in 2.5 hours early at 7. The other lady gets there at 7 and leaves at 330. I don’t really want to sit there alone for 3 hours after she leaves. Plus I had an appointment for my eyes I had to get almost to the other side of the county for. So I needed to leave at 3/330 as well. This way I would get my 8 hours in.

We were talking this morning about how and when they should let people come back even with negative test. She said new girl was pushing to come back Monday. We both said no way she needs to wait and get another test and wait for it to come back. That she needed to wait at least a full 10 days from last Saturday before getting it really 14. The Hr lady called her and they talked. She got off the phone and said she wanted to come back tomorrow Friday and Saturday her test is negative but that New girl she was going to have to talk to owner about. The billing lady there with me told the hr lady she would talk to me and see how I felt about her coming in and let her know. I said her office is in the back and she can use dispatch printer and scanner if she needs to use one. That keeps her over 6 ft away from us. I said it kind of jokingly but kind of feel that is how it should be. She is having sinus issues and it probably is she has had 1 more test than me I think they are all negative. But like I told the other lady, I am not worried about catching it being sick. I am worried about catching it and not being able to work for 3 or 4 weeks or how ever long it takes. Because I don’t have a set up to work from home. Then if my kids get it and it is bad I will miss work to be there for them as it runs through 4 of them. She completely agreed and understands.

But we decided the hr lady and one dispatch lady could come back they are in different ends of the building than us we don’t have contact and all test have been negative. We were comfortable with that if they were the only ones for a bit. She talked to the hr lady and told her. She said she still had to talk to the owner to see what he thought or how he felt.

In a bit she called her back and said owner said no one would be coming back until further notice. Not anytime soon. Not even the hr lady until her issues are gone. He don’t want us catching something else and passing it around on top of this or bringing our system down leaving us open to catch this. We are fine with that as well. And agree.

We feel he should wait a week or two more before bringing anyone back other than the hr lady if her stuff goes away and she is negative. Then slowly bring one or two of the ones who have tested negative all along back staggering them out. A couple a week. Then slowly bring the ones who had positive test back but make them get a test like Wednesday or Thursday before the monday they are to start back and get results first. This making sure they are over it. Until we hopefully have everyone back in the office and no more cases.

No one is going to miss work because they all can work from home. Most are on salary and getting paid. So it shouldn’t be a problem. A lot of them want to work from home anyway.

I feel like we are on one of these tv show’s and instead of voting people off we are voting people in. I told her earlier we are just going to tell them they had their chance at this and failed. We are taking control now. These are the one’s who can come back and when. The rest need to work at home until we decide they are safe and then these over here we would rather not bring back at all. We can do without them or replace them.

I forgot yesterday she told me when she was talking to the accountant he said he told owner he needed to give me and her some extra for coming in doing our job’s and taking care of everything else that can’t just be left until when ever. She said yeah are we getting hazard pay for all this and keeping everything going? He said no really they had already been talking about giving us something and he was going to talk to him about it again and push it. That would be nice. Like right now if we were not there the place would come to a stop basically. No one else at all knows how to do mine or her job or where to even start if they wanted to do it. Then she has to collect all the payroll papers and things that go with it. Bag it up and toss it in his trunk when he pulls up so he can do what he needs to from home. It is just to much to send by computer. I have to go get the checks load the printer and let them print the checks. Then I have to find all the bills and match to each check. Package them all up so that the owners wife can come after we leave and get them. I have to put each envelope through the postage machine so he can mail them once he signs them. We are not talking 5 or 10 checks. We are talking like 35 to 50 checks. That is the new accounting person’s job but she has this too.

If we weren’t there making sure this gets done or that billing gets done no one would be working. Because if we are not getting billing done to get people to pay us there would be no money to pay the drivers or us in the office. Them drivers do not get paid they will leave that truck where it sits jump on a plain and come home. If we didn’t get payroll paperwork together for the one that is at home they still wouldn’t get paid.

She has also gotten to look at the work the new girl has and hasn’t done and really see what is going on. She has found out she has stuff from July she has not taken care of like she was told and said she did. We are figuring out new ways to handle things and do things that work better for me and her because new girl has everything a mess. We are going to put some things in place and she is going to have to do them this way. Because what she set up is not working at all. I know she isn’t going to like it but that is to bad. She already got in a huge argument with the boss because he told her to change something because the way she was doing it was not working for how things are done. She blew up. I think the other billing lady i am working with hopes she leaves. A lot of people there want her to and have complained about her. Just like telling them she was coming back Monday.  Not asking when or how they were handling things. Billing lady said today someone needs to tell her she has only been here a few months she needs to step back or this isn’t going to work. But she isn’t going to listen. She won’t put up with it for to much longer she is going to say something.



{August 25, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 4

As the world turns so do the covid encounters and the positive test that come with them. Monday there were only 8 of us there. I received a phone call a few times and didn’t answer. Number was one I seen but the area code seemed like it was a scam call. I was there to pick JW up at work and it called again. I didn’t answer. Then I got a text that said who it was. I called back. It was the HR lady from work. She was on her cell not the work phone. I guess I hadn’t saved her personal cell in my phone. It not says work I didn’t know.

She said she had to let me know that there was another positive test and it was someone who was there with us today. That the owner wanted up to go be tested again. We could work until 12 today but had to be out by then. They are coming to clean the office again. She said if I wanted to come in early and work til 12 that was fine. I told her I would be there by 7. That would give me 5 hours. She said okay.

In a little bit she called back and said the owner changed his mind felt it was better to not have anyone back in the office u til it was cleaned again just on case. That he was trying go work out a plan to get most everyone out of the office and working from home. So there would only be me the other lady in billing and maybe the two HR people. The two HR people are in the two back corners of the building so not near us or each other really. They could come and go out the back door we could use the front door. Only time we may see them is if we had to go to the bathroom 3 of us would have to share the one. Or if we had to go to the kitchen.

The only one’s that would be close to each other would be me and the other lady in billing. We sit close enough to touch each other. But she sits behind me and faces the wall. Don’t know how much that really matters. But so far we are one of the few who haven’t caught it. They may split us up there would be room to move me to another room for a bit. She has been really careful to not get it and clean. More than anyone there really. I honestly not worried about working with her so close. I am not really worried about catching it. I am just worried about missing work.

So we are up to 8 cases out of 17 people in the office. I am about to call the HR lady to see what the plan is from here. I don’t know what the point of cleaning the office and bringing everyone back tomorrow without having their test back. Anyone of us could come up positive now. No one yet has been sick or had a fever or anything.



{August 22, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 3

Today I went in to make up hours since I missed all of Thursday. The new girl was there, two dispatch and one HR. Me and the new girl talked for a bit as I worked then she went out to smoke. She came in and said that one of her covid test came back positive. She was one of the one’s that went to the school Wednesday Morning when we first found out. Then went to the med clinic when they thought they would get results back faster. Then she went and took the rapid one yesterday. Rapid said no yesterday but the clinic one said positive. So now she has 3 test two negative and one positive. Work told her she has to get another negative now before she comes back and sent her home.

I hear the guys in the other room talking the owner has it, the dispatcher who started this, we have a guy who just floats around does a little bit of everything. He has it my “boss”. I said K that works with my boss and P who just got sent home. So like we were up to 6 people. The guy that I worked with who’s place I was supposed to take messaged me a little bit ago and said he is positive. He only had the one test that takes days to get back. So we are up to 7 out of 17 who have a positive test and 2 I haven’t heard anything about. One is on vacation so won’t be back for a week and hasn’t been back since we left Wednesday. The other comes a few hours a week here and there.

Not one person has any symptoms, fever or anything like that. No one feels sick or would of ever had any reason to think they were or needed to be tested.

As I type that I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t covid we all had the end of last year. It seems funny to me that most of the one’s who were sick and so sick last year are the one’s who are testing negative. The one’s testing positive were not sick like the others of us were. I still have to question how good the test are as well. Are these positive test really positive? How do we know? Now we have like with P three test two in one day one two days later. One of the same day test says yes one no and then rapid 2 days later says yes. The positive was the one taken later in the day.

On top of that now they count test not people for their numbers. So now they have one positive and one negative for same person but it is just going to be counted as 2 different people. How can they not see this is not correct ways to report. How can people know this and blindly be scared into believing all the doom and gloom? It isn’t just her but everyone there that got 2 or 3 test with 2 different results. I could even see if they had a positive and inconclusive. Or negative and an inconclusive. But not straight one and one out of so many test and so few people. Or like her 3 test 2 results.

The test seems no more reliable than playing pin the tail on the donkey. Close your eyes spin the paper mark a result. Open eyes that is what you are. No test needed, no time wasted waiting for results and just as accurate.



I went to work today and only 6 of us showed up. The two HR people or like people, two dispatchers, me and the other lady in billing. New girl showed up got the money for the test and never came back even though she tested negative. I am not sure why she came took the money for the test if she wasn’t coming in because she should have her others back by Monday. The owner and our boss were questioning it as well and she may not be reimburse for it since she didn’t come in today. That was the deal he would pay so we could work today and this weekend. We don’t work weekend but they ask us to if they did this. To get work caught up and let us make up hours.

The accountants didn’t come either. The one that is our “boss”already told the other lady training us in billing he wasn’t he was taking a long weekend. But the new one would be in. She gets there at 7 and wasn’t there when I got there at 930. Then he called me around 11 or so and told me both of their rapid test came back positive. So they can’t come in until they get a negative. He had not received his test from Wednesday but she had. Wednesday’s test for her said negative but the rapid test from yesterday or this morning said positive. So she has to get a 3rd one now that isn’t rapid and wait for it to come back negative. If it don’t then she has to wait and get another one until it comes back negative. He is supposed to do the same and he say’s he is just waiting for his other from Wednesday to come back. HR said no that isn’t how it works once a positive shows up your negative test has to be done after that.

Like me and the other lady in billing were talking he is doing 2 of 3 other things on the side all around people going in their homes and things. If he has it then it is probably from that not the guy at work who got it because he is not around him. They next to never come into contact with each other. And it makes since that him and the new accounting lady’s test are the only other positive so far. Because they are closed up in this little office together a couple feet from each other. They can have the door open but they have it closed a lot and even with it open it is still close and pretty closed off. Cluttered and not real circulation.

If they had gotten it from the other guy then seems that the two guys that sit right next to him in his office and the one who rode around in the car with him all the time would have it. Or even one of us from billing we are in talking to him about work stuff all the time.

Now I guess our exposer time frame just went from last Friday to two days ago Wednesday. Because we had no idea these two had it and we were all around them Wednesday. Hoping that no one else test comes back positive out of this round we should be done with this and in the “clear” for exposer from this incident by the first. We all have to go be retested around the end of the month again. Knock on wood we all come out good can be done with this and not have to deal with it again.

I have to call tomorrow and get my results from my first test they haven’t called me yet. I think I’m fine but hey so did the first one who tested positive and the other 2.



Yesterday I got to work a half hour early because I was making up hours I was going to miss today. As I was pulling into the parking space my phone started ringing it popped up as work. I thought it was very odd because no one ever uses the work phones to call each other. We always use our cells. I wasn’t due in for another half hour. No one knew I was coming early. I thought oh boy here we go something has happened and now I am going to lose this job. I started not to answer just go in but I wanted to know what to expect before walking in the door and being hit with something. I wanted to be prepared how to handle whatever it was.

I answered it was our HR lady. She said she was asked to call everyone she wanted to call me first she knows I would be in soon and have kids. She said we have our first covid case and it is here in the office with us. She said he hasn’t been to work since Friday and he isn’t sick. He had a sore throat that is it. We thought from dental work but, he tested positive. I told her I was in the parking lot I was coming in. She said they were cleaning the office and from what they were being told felt it was safe. I said yes I did too. She said we just don’t know about others in the office if they have it. Anyone of us could have it. I said but we have all already been exposed.

I went and clocked in and everyone was in a buzz. Trying to clean and find testing places, try to find out prices, times, if you had to make an appointment or walk in/drive up or what. I found a walk in that did the test for free. I decided to go there they decided to go to the one at the local school in the next town over. I didn’t want to drive up sit in my car for who knows how long and I wanted to talk to a medical person. The people they have doing the swabs in the drive up ones are who ever they hire off the street to do it. They pay them $35 an hour pay their room and food. So they can not answer anymore questions than what we already know really or what they are told to tell us.

I told them when I got there what I was there for and that I had direct contact with someone who tested positive. I figured they would want to put me right back into a room or have me wait outside or something. Nope had me fill out paperwork left me sitting in the waiting room. As if it was no big deal. Why when I went to get my eye’s checked you have to wait in your car and they don’t let more than a few people in at once.

They finally took me back the nurse or tech did the nose swab and said the PA would come check me and answer questions. She looked at in my eyes throat and listen to my lungs and heart.

I asked her about all this and how blown up and scare tactics it really was?

She looked at me. I said I know it is real I am not disputing that. I said but I don’t think it is as bad as they are making it out to be. I said they tell you only how many people tested positive not how many had no symptoms, how many are recovering how many aren’t getting deathly ill. They just tell you this many died, these hospitals have full ICU bed. I said they don’t tell you why the icu beds are full. How many are covid how many are other reasons? I said years ago my dad was in icu a week beds were full. Covid wasn’t around they all had different things wrong.

She said you are right everything you are saying. She said she works at a local hospital they have 5 icu units most people don’t know that. That when they say all beds are full that could be one unit or is most times. That if they have 6 trauma people come in one is full. I said I feel they are not saying most people who are getting deathly ill or passing are people with underlying issues. She said yes true. She said not that I haven’t treated 30 or 40 year olds who were other wise healthy that got very ill or who passed. I said I am sure you have but that is like anything a healthy 20 something could get the flu and pass or a infection of some kind that most get over and pass. That is just how it is a fluke thing. She said yes. She finally said I really hate to say it from a medical stand point and field but they have put a lot of fear or scare out there to get people to comply.

I left and went back to work. Only a few showed back up after their test. I got there about 12 by 4 they were telling us to go home. Not to come back until we have negative test results. So we all left.

Of course when I told them at home that I have been exposed the Bitch freaked out. I can’t come home blah blah bullshit. I said fine I will go stay with Bff then. She is tested every so often anyway because she works at the assisted living. They have had it at the nursing home across the street and workers going back and forth. So she has been too. I came and stayed at JW house for the night. I told her it take 3 to 7 days for results.

This morning while I was in the middle of writing this they sent a group text saying X places have the rapid test for $150. Insurance don’t pay for it. The HR lady ask me in a private text if I was going we had been talking. I told her I lost a job in March been down to one job since. I could not put out $150 for it. The days we are missing we can make up once we go back so i am not missing money there. She said she understood. They really don’t want us working 2 jobs right now because of it either. We are exposing our self more and in turn risk exposing them as well.

In bit the owner sent a message in the group chat saying he would reimburse anyone who went and got the rapid test and that they had people coming in cleaning the office and no one is to come back until they have a negative test. I messaged her private again ask her if he was and what clinics they found that had the test? The ones by me said they no longer had them and was not getting more and their other clinics didn’t and wouldn’t either because they cost so much and insurance wasn’t paying. She gave me the numbers and I called the one that was closer to me to make sure. They said yes. I went straight there and got it. It came back negative but there is still 20% + chance it could be wrong.

I left there and went by JW job work called like yesterday morning. I answered it was the HR lady. She said her and the other hr kind of guy would be there about 25 more minutes or in in the morning. She said owner said we could get tested and be paid back as soon as we got in office in am or they could give us a tch and we could cash it and go get the test if we could not pay upfront and wait. I said I seen his message and went ready I just got back. She said what did it say? I said negative of course. She said good good see you in the morning then? I said yes. She said take a snip of the transaction on your account print it we will get your money in the morning. I know you are worried about taking care of them babies. I said they gave me a payment amount on my paper. She said oh great they didn’t mine.

So I get to go back tomorrow and Saturday. I did not tell them at home yet I’m not tonight. I may tomorrow. I don’t know yet. I get home go to my room and sit for the night she has them so scared to be around me they don’t come in there like they use to. It isn’t healthy why i want to get her out or us moved. The way she is is not good for them to be around. But with me working she is there more than me they listen to what she says when I’m not there. If I decide to go home I will tell them tomorrow we got rapid tested. If not i will wait until Monday tell her I got my other results or we went for the fast test. I figure she is going to want to wait until the other test since there is chance for the fast test to be wrong. Not that the other can’t either but who knows. My luck my other will come back say yes this one says no. I am interested to see if that happens with anyone since most of us have had both test now or a group of us has. To see what happens then.



{July 29, 2019}   All Ready To Be Picked Up

I got a call from the vets office a little while ago telling me the the dog would be already to go home around 4. I told them I would be there around 6 that I was working until 5. They said that was fine. I said so everything went okay and her test came back negative? They said yes everything came back good and she did great during the surgery.

I have to pick her up and go to work for awhile. I hope that everything rolls out of Boston early and I don’t have to be there very long although I need the money and should stay as long as I can. But I don’t think she is going to be good for to long. I just hope she does good and don’t cause a problem and I have to leave right away. Sometimes she does great with people other times she don’t. But most the time I have the problem with her is at home. She wants to protect her house. She did great at the office today in the waiting room and in the car at the little store why I got gas and my drink. She just watched everyone out the window and laid down.



et cetera
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