{December 2, 2019}   Thanksgiving in a Nutshell

Thanksgiving we didn’t do anything but lay around all day. My mother was supposed to make a ham and everything for dinner and didn’t get up and put it on in time. Of course that was mine and the kids faults. I thought she was awake and laid down with Little Bitty and watched our show. I fell a sleep for a bit. The kids played and watched t.v. We just had a very lazy relaxed day. We ended up getting up and going out to dinner not even doing dinner at home. I don’t think anyone really cared. The kids didn’t really seem to care, we had a nice time, talked and joked around and talked about Christmas. If they would want me to take the money and get them a few smaller gifts or one or two larger gifts? What they wanted either way and made a list.

Friday we didn’t do much and I had to go to work that night. Then I stopped off and seen my Grandma and Grandpa at my aunts. They only live a mile or two from my night job. I had to ask her to borrow money until after the first of the year. In hopes to get things back on track and be able to do something for Christmas. I ended up being there for hours, I didn’t leave until after 12 or 1. I didn’t plan to be there that long at all. I got there around 9:45 give or take. But I was talking to them and lost track of time.

{November 22, 2017}   What They Are Thankful For

Every year this time my kids have to do their Fall Writes on what they are thankful for. My youngest and oldest had me in tears with what they wrote right in the start of their papers. I had to share.

This is my oldest son 12 years old.



This one is my Little Guy 7 years old


This is my oldest daughters 13 years old

{November 25, 2016}   Our Thanksgiving Day

Today wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. We went out to dinner as I said in my other post. We were supposed to go when they opened so that we could get in and not have to wait forever. Well of course that didn’t happen with my mom. I think I finally ended up leaving and getting to the place about 130 pm. They put us on the list and said it was a 3 HOUR wait. The only other place close by said a 45 but no one wanted to go there. After about 45 minutes or so I went back they said it was an hour wait. I don’t know how it went from 3 hours to 45 minutes. In the mean time I am talking to everyone else who is taking their sweet ass time to get there. We got out of the truck and decided to go wait inside for our table. No sooner than we got to the building they were calling us. We went in to sit down and hey had us at two different tables one behind the other. That would have left me and the kids sitting alone why the rest of them ate together. I didn’t want that because the kids wanted to eat with their cousins, their dad and grandma. I ask if we could turn them around and push them together. They said no we couldn’t. I ask her if they had somewhere we could push the tables together. They didn’t at the moment. She said they could put us on the list and as soon as they had something come up they could put together they would let us know but it would probably be an hour. That was fine because I figured it would take the rest that long to get there. It was a matter of minutes and they were calling us back in.

We ended up sitting there forever waiting on them to come. I finally ordered the kids food right after they got it they showed up. We all finally ordered and ate. When we left there the kids wanted to go to the park so we did. The rest of them had to pee so they had to stop at their house on the way to the park instead of using the bathroom at the park. It was about dark when we got there, I got the kids out and we played at the park for a while. Father of the year and my mom came up, my sister decided to stay home because it was getting dark. They played in the park and then we went and walked around by the water and came home.

It was nice to not have to worry about who was cooking what and who’s house we are going to have it. Not haven’t to worry about my mom and all her ocd’s and don’t do this don’t do that, do this and do that’s. I was surprised she wasn’t worse when we were at the park or the restaurant eating. Although part of what took so long was she had to wash her truck down with bleach water because it had something on it. So they were washing the door handles, gearshift and all that kind of stuff.

Now we are home, the little kids are in bed and me and my oldest are staying up to see the 4 new shows of Gilmore Girls. I am starting to think this may not have been such a good idea. I agreed to this because I thought it would be on at midnight. Well it is on at midnight but not until midnight pacific time not our time. That means 3 am here. Then it is 4 shows that are 90 minutes long. I will not be in bed until after day light. The two little ones will have a full nights sleep on me. We still have another hour before it even starts. At midnight we started watching the last 6 shows of the last seasons. The dogs are ass-wholes if I haven’t said it before they just shit in the floor, didn’t ask to go out or anything just shit. I don’t know what has gotten into them lately.

{November 24, 2016}   Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

thanksgiving2012I just wanted to pop in and say that I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and that you all get to enjoy it with family and/or friends. We will be going out to eat this year with my mom, sister and her family and Father of The Year. Not my idea but theirs. Father of The Year has no money but he is paying for him and all the kids. I figure he isn’t giving me money then let him if he don’t he is just going to blow it. Kids may as well get something out of it if he isn’t going to help like he is supposed to. I am not worried about it I have faith it will work out and me and the kids will be fine. I have been able to work it out in the past and I am sure I will now. I still just have this peace that this is where we are supposed to be for a while and that it will work out. I get stressed or depressed here and there but then I just keep pushing on. Because I know……


I am thankful for my kids, I love them so much and wold be lost without them. Even the one sitting beside me complaining and about to lose it because they will not stop talking in the middle of the parade and just show the parade instead. Because he is missing some of the floats and balloons. He says they are skipping the floats and only showing the balloons. And the one who is laying on the couch with his hand down his pants. Excuse me for a minute, I had to make him stop and go wash his hands. Got to love six year old little boys. (Just keeping it real, this is what is going on around me while I type this.)

I am also thankful for my friends. If it wasn’t for my one friend I wouldn’t have all this stuff out here so that it can be seen and sold. I wouldn’t have a babysitter that will watch the kids if I can find a job and not charge me a ton of money. I buy her a pack of smokes a day she is happy. Plus I help her out with things as well.

I am thankful for my family that I have left even though we aren’t as close as we once were. They are still my family and we still have our good times even if they are few and farther between.

thankgul-for-youAll of you who have followed my blog or who just read and the ones who comment and like different post. It helps to be able to come here and get things out and have in put from others on things. My blog isn’t as active or where I would like it to be for as long as I have had it, but it is okay. I am happy with it considering the time I have had to put into it and the breaks I have had to take at times. I love my group of followers and their support. Some of you have stuck around from the be-gaining and new people are coming every week and I am thrilled to have all of you.

I will let you all go and enjoy your day and leave you with this one last little picture because you can’t have Thanksgiving without the Peanuts.  thanksgiving

Edited to add I found all the little pictures in random places online none of them are mine I do not make them or own them.

{November 23, 2016}   Been Reading

I have been around some and reading just not posting a lot. Since I been on this medication I have been sleeping more. More normal than before I should say, I have to take it at night because it makes me fall a sleep as soon as I take it just about. I am on more of a normal schedule now. I try to take it around 1030 every night and by 11 I am a sleep. Sometimes I sleep all night some nights I will get up once to go to the bathroom or fix the heat/air and go right back to sleep. I am up by 6/7 in the morning. The time I am awake I am busy running and doing stuff with the kids. The time I normally write is after the time I take my pill. But if I take my pill past 11 I still feel it in the morning and want to sleep later and I have to be up to take the kids to school. The last few days with the kids home and not feeling good I have been sleeping a little more in the day time as well.

I am trying to figure out how to get everything I need to do in a day done on my new schedule. I am use to having about 4 or 5 more hours a night to do the things I need to get done like my school work and writing on here. I have to start getting the kids back to bed by 9 as well. That will leave me a hour and half of free time after they go to bed. Still not the 4 or 5 I am use to. I am sure once things calm down a bit I will find time to write more.

In the mean time I am still here things are ok and I am reading just not writing as much right now. I should have some free time tomorrow I hope maybe I will get to write then. I plan to stay up with my oldest to watch Gilmore Girls. She is hoping they will put it on at 12am Friday instead of waiting until later Friday to put it on. Then we can watch it without the other kids being loud and interrupting. I told her we will put the kids to bed about 8 or 9 lay down until they go to sleep. I am going to have to figure out when to take my pill so I don’t fall a sleep on her. Maybe I can take it in the evening around 7 lay down and sleep for a few hours then get up and be ok. I will still be sleepy Friday from not sleeping much but that’s ok because I will not be going shopping Friday for anything. I think we may start putting up our Christmas stuff up outside if I can find a ladder. I also want to put up our manger scene. My Big Boy don’t want to put them up yet I am going to try and change his mind. Right now I am off to bed I am supposed to have everyone up and ready and out to lunch for tomorrow by 11. I see a nap in my day tomorrow for sure.


{November 23, 2016}   A Day At School

The little kids have no school at all this week and the big kids only went Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday they had their family meal. I went in that morning when the kids went to school to help get everything ready. I had the two little’s with me my Little Guy wants to go to school with the big kids so bad he can’t stand it. They let him stay with the class why I went to set everything up. He colored and then read books, he was thrilled he got to be one of the “big” kids. My Little Bitty went to the hall with me and help me set up and she was happy she could say she helped with everything.

I got up at 6 am to cook the things we were supposed to make then got there by 9 with everything and everyone ready for the day. I took Little Bitty a blanket and had her bring her purse full of toys so she had something to do but she spent most the time helping me. They had a raffle for a handful of different things to be given away. I figured I would buy all 5 of us one they could all put their ticket in. I got 6 tickets because they had a deal where if you buy five you get six. Each item had a bag for tickets for just that item. They had a jar make to look like and elf and one a penguin filled with candy. Of course my Little Guy wanted to put his in for the elf and Little Bitty wanted to put hers in for the penguin. I put one in for a wreath that had been made by the teachers daughters. My Big Boy really wanted the bird house and my oldest did as well. I really liked it as well so I stuck one of my tickets in for it as well. Figured that gave us 3 chances to get it. Well the little kids both won the candy jars they wanted and the other three of us won nothing. But it’s ok we had fun and had a nice meal with friends.

We got home around 2 everyone got to go home when it was over so they got out about an hour and half early. Me and my Little Bitty came home and laid down about 3 and slept until well into dinner time. We got up ran to the store had dinner and went back to bed. I was going to get up and go to the hospital this morning to be with a friend who was having surgery, that didn’t happen. Little Bitty wasn’t feeling good yesterday today she had fever and I had sore throat and my stomach was upset. Our other friend who was going to go with me was sick too. I figured it was probably not a good idea to go up there sick with her going to have surgery. She didn’t need to catch whatever we been passing back and forth while trying to recover.

It sucks because not only did we have the big kids lunch yesterday but my Little Guy and Little Bitty had their lunch last week and Father of the Year was not working either day and didn’t bother to come. When the kids were telling him about it and when I tried to he ignored us and talked over us about other stuff. I am sure that when it comes up tomorrow he will say if he had known he would have come. Then want to know why I didn’t tell him. I going to be more than mad if he does. I am going to tell him in front of everyone why he didn’t know.

We went to chickens, therapy and the store tonight and came home to have diner. We are now watching 2020, I am trying to stay awake to see the news. I don’t know if I am going to make it. I was supposed to take my pill a half hour ago but holding out because it will make me sleepy. Three of the kids are sleeping already two passed out on the couches. One waiting on me and my Big Boy to go to bed.

{November 28, 2014}   Thankful It’s Over

It’s been a very long day, who am I kidding it’s been a long week. I spend a big part of if dreading today. I feel so wore out when I have hardly done anything today. Just dealing with my mom dose it to me in a manner of minutes every time. Knowing that I have to in itself takes a lot out of me. The kids being sick for two weeks, dealing with the child support stuff, and trying to decide if and where to move don’t help. I haven’t told my family I am trying to move or that I am going after RC for support.

They don’t think I should just leave him alone. They don’t think he should be in her life. They feel if I go after him then he is going to want to see her and that he shouldn’t. They think he will try to take her. I’m sure the way they are they feel he could win and get her. I don’t think it is even a option. If he wants to be in her life I wouldn’t ever stop it. He needs to be in her life she needs to know him. There will be a order in place for her. I don’t think he would try to take her from me. He told me he wouldn’t and I’m probably stupid but I believe him. But at the same time I am not stupid and know that from now on whatever I do I have to protect her and me from possibly going though more bs with him.

I haven’t told them I am moving or even considering moving because all I will hear is how I can’t do that. That I can’t make it there with just me and the kids, that I cant take them and leave the state because of father of the year being here and on and on they will go. I also don’t want them to know until I have the divorce done and what I want in it and it set so that I am able to take them out of state. Because if I tell them first they will go to father of the year and be telling him how he has to stop it and how he can’t let me leave and take the kids. They will tell him well you can take her to court you can get it put in the divorce that she has to stay here. He is the kind that would go and try to stop it to keep everyone from being pissed off at him. Because them being mad at him or not is more important than what is best for him kids. His kids will get over it and he will always be daddy. But someone else may not get over it and he may lose a friend.

My mom just aggravates me so much. I have never called him daddy to my daughter at all. He has always been called by his name. She call him daddy to her. I said something a few times when we were having to stay there. My daughter never has really called him daddy, when she did I tell her no it’s ___ and now that is what she says. The last two times my we were at her house she said something about daddy I said no it’s __. She started about since when she always called him daddy. I told her no and she didn’t say anything. Then tonight she said something about daddy. I was in the other room I didn’t say anything because my daughter wasn’t in there and didn’t hear her. Everyone there I didn’t want to get into it. I wasn’t feeling good I just wanted to get out of there and go home.

The dog had her puppies and if you talk to her we need to give them a way as soon as they are big enough. If she had it her way they would be gone already. All because they are part pit. I didn’t pick the dog that got her pregnant I didn’t want her to have puppies at all. But she did and we were talking about getting another dog since our other passed a way last year. I want something that will grow up with my younger two like the momma dog has with my older two. Why try to find homes for these and hope they go to a good one when we want a puppy already? That be stupid to me. I told the kids we would keep one. Well then father of the year decided that since they won’t be ready till a few days before Christmas or after even and one of us will be moving by the end of February then he wanted to keep one. Well the home for the 3 rd fell through so he decided he would keep the two so they would have a play mate why he was working since he will be working so much. Tonight the kids were talking about them and she was like I wouldn’t keep any of them I can’t believe your going to keep them you need to get rid of them all. I ignored her because she wasn’t talking to me her and my oldest were talking. But she was directing it at me. I just kept doing what I was and acted as if I didn’t hear her. Then she says to me your keeping all them dogs why? Going on and on about it. I said I am keeping one he is going to take two with him when he moves. She says oh these kids will be grown he isn’t going no where. I was pissed and my brother and his family sitting there. I said no he is leaving the first of the year one of us will be moving I’m not living like this any longer. She started about how we need to get rid of them all blah blah shit again. I just went on and finished what I was doing.

She just gets on my nerves and pisses me off so fucking much. She can’t ever keep her opinions or thoughts to herself ever. It’s one thing to give your opinion when asked but to always be telling people what they need to do or basically telling them and trying to push it is another. I truly just want a way from her and father of the year. She never has anything positive to say and trying to push into what and how she wants it to be done.

I try really hard to ignore her and I try really hard to not let her get to me but I can’t help it. It just stresses me out so much. I think the main reason is because of the influence that she has over my kids. they see this stuff they hear her then they second guess their self or feel they need to do what she says to make her happy and not upset her. I try to keep the contact minimum but they want to see her and to go for holidays and see the rest of the family and things.

I know I’m venting I guess I am just a little more adjudicated with everything with the way everything has been the last few weeks. I feel like this week has been a loss with nothing getting done because of everyone being sick the dreading going over there on top of everyone being sick, not feeling good myself. I am just in a mood tonight I feel like I want to crawl out of my own skin.

So I am very thankful for a lot of things, my kids, friends, family, a home, and the things I need. Tonight I think I am most thankful its all just over.

{November 25, 2014}   I Did It….

Not only found the child support office Friday, I went in and talk to them. I went some places with my friend J to get out of the house for a little while. We had to go down where it was supposed to be and she had been there before so I decided to look for it again. I had been down there 3 times before and always was sent to the wrong places. You can’t call the office itself you have to call a 800 number and talk to someone states a way who don’t know the area. Then you wait on hold for a hour or more to talk to someone. I would end up having to go home.

I knew going down there I wanted to at least try and find it but didn’t know if I would be able to stop since I had my friend with me. We went to the education store and ended up being in there way longer than we had planed. Then we stopped and had lunch. I knew there was something else I wanted to do but I just really couldn’t think of it. We stopped at another store instead of heading home. Something made me think of it in the store after we looked around for a while. I told her I wanted to try and find it not to let me forget. We left I figured as late as it was they wouldn’t be open. It took about 20 minutes to find it and they were open. I went in it was 15 to 5 they were getting ready to close. But they talk to me anyway.

I told the lady what I was there for and that I needed to open a case. But that I was also told I had complied with them so I had no idea what was going on since it has been a year and a half since I tried to get help from them. The lady looked it up and said she didn’t know what to do with my case or what needed to be done with it or why nothing had been done with it. She told me to fill out a form and get a number and talk to someone. When I got up there to talk to them the computer crashed. Go figure my luck the computer crashes. But the two ladies were really nice and told me what all I needed to bring in and told me to come back today.

They told me that because I was not divorced when I had her I have to go after father of the year for support. They will bring him in we will have to do a dna test to rule him out and then they will go after RC. Bring him in and do another dna test and then decide the support.

I am so mad about it I didn’t want father of the year to know that I went there or anything about it. I just wanted to go get it all set up get the order and let them start giving it to me. I was going to let it just sit until I can move so that I have other money to go on. Plus he is going to make things a living hell now that he knows I am trying to find him and go after him. He knows it will put me that much more closer to getting out and a way from him.

I came home and told him that I went there that they are going to go after him and that he is going to have to go do the test. I told him I am not going to wait forever why he takes his time to go down there and do the test. He says just forget it I’ll pay for her. I’ll take care of her just drop it don’t worry about going back. Of course because then that means I won’t have that money coming in if I let him do that. It’s just something else he can use in court to hold up the divorce when we go to court and keep them from granting it again. When we get in there and they start telling him to pay for her he can speak up and say she isn’t mine. I want a dna test. I’m not doing it. She is not his there is no way possible she can be his at all. I don’t want him to claim her as his. I didn’t let him sign it the birth certificate I didn’t put him on it. I could have just put him on it since we are married but we are not together and she is not his and we aren’t going to ever be back together.

I told him no he wouldn’t just pay for her. I told him he would go take the test and then stay out of it. He hasn’t said anything else about it he been a little potty, poor me so far but I know it is just the calm before the storm. I have heard him make a few comments here and there I ask what he said he won’t say anything. I am going down in a couple weeks to file the rest of the papers for the divorce and that is really going to shake the boat up and probably push it all over the edge. I am really don’t care at this point because I am done and at all cost I am getting out of here and a way from him once and for all. I can’t be no worse off than I have been the last few years here. I think if I play my cards right we can all be a lot better off.

They also told me to get as much information about RC as I can. All I have is a phone number that I am not sure is his any more and a address that I traced it back to. I am pretty sure it is not the right address because in October his girlfriend posted on her page saying her kids were a lot happier now that they have moved. It isn’t the last place he told a friend of ours he was a while back either. I think this maybe somewhere that he lived when he first got there. He been there just over a year and has lived with his girlfriends mother, this address i have, another address he told a friend of his and this new one she is talking about now. I did see a thing on line I am going to try to get the right address but I don’t know if it will work since this isn’t the last address but it is worth a try.

I didn’t make it back down there today. My baby boy was sick last week and seemed to be fine Friday and Saturday, he got up yesterday with a cough and went to bed with it and broke out in dots. My little bitty was up and down all night with him as well not feeling good. I had to take her to the doc and him back. They said that after the fever breaks the kids have been getting a rash and that from being so sick it let him get an ear infection and he has stuff in his lungs. He went to school one day last week and can’t go this week at all. We don’t even know if we are going to see family for Thanksgiving. They said that he is very contagious until 24 hours after the dots go a way. They can keep showing up or stay for a few days. They said my baby girl has a ear infection. The doctor could see how miserable she was. She said oh my goodness I have never seen her cry and act this way.

My friend J was going to come and watch them why I went back and took everything down there and turned in. But she is going a way Wednesday for the holiday and she can’t risk getting sick. I really can’t leave the two little ones as sick as they are and go all the way down there in case they get sicker or need something. It’s about 40 miles a way. I talk to her and she is going to come next week and watch them so that I can go down there. It will give me time to try my trick and see if I can find another address for him. Hopefully it will work.

I just wish I had the money to order a report or pay someone to find him. He was paying on other kids so hopefully they will be able to find him. I hope that sine they have left my case sit for a year and a half with out doing anything with it they don’t make me wait another 6 months to a year.

{November 22, 2012}   The End To A Tradition

Don’t know what made me think of it a little bit ago why I was bathing the boys and getting them ready. Mine and ex’s first Thanksgiving together we didn’t get to spend together. I was 7 months pregnant and had just gotten a job at the little store to make some money. We had to move the first of December and we really needed the extra money. I had been baby sitting my roommates brother but never got the money. His dad just paid my rent every month. He was going to see his parents for thanksgiving and my family was getting together for the day and having dinner and things. I was the only one missing because I had to work a 10 hour shift.

We wanted to have dinner together but it would be after 11 pm. We decided to have our Thanksgiving the night before together. We didn’t do anything but we got a small turkey breast and made some sides we both liked. But it was nice to just have a nice dinner the two of us for the holiday. After that every year we after that we started having our own little Thanksgiving dinner with just the kids and us the night before. I liked it because it was just the 4 of us and no matter what happen the next day how busy we were how much time we got to really sit down together and do stuff our what we had that little bit of time we sat down and had a nice private holiday dinner just us.

I am sad to say my baby boy has never got to have that. I don’t remember us doing our dinner the year he was born we may have. But there was so much going on I am really not sure. I am thinking we didn’t. Then last year ex moved out the day before Halloween so he wasn’t here Thanksgiving. The kids stayed with him and went to his parents with him for Thanksgiving. I spent the day by myself and went out to dinner with my mom sister and her family. This year no one even brought it up. The way things are it just don’t seem like a time we should do it.

It is something I would like to do with my kids still but it just seems out of places seeing as it started with me and ex. I just don’t know. It kind of feels funny to keep it up with him not there. If we get to move like we want to in the next few months we will probably be spending a lot of the holidays just me and the kids anyway seeing as most my family will probably still be down here. So then it would seem odd to have it when we are going to be the only ones there for the day anyway.

I don’t know this year it is to late I guess we will see when next year comes around. Maybe we will bring it back and then have the holiday where we invite friends and things to come over and spend time with them or find a shelter to help at. It will have to be something me and the kids talk about when the time comes and see what works for us. I have to think too that some of the times they will probably be with their dad for the holiday.

Again hope everyone has a Happy and safe Thanksgiving. I am already running late to pick everyone up and get to my moms. But it will be ok I am sure she said 3:30 but she won’t be ready until at least 4 or later. She already called and changed it from 2 to 3:30. She is always late and running behind. That is the one place I can go and not have to rush to get there lol.

{November 22, 2012}   Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you all have a great day with friends a family.

I am thankful for my kids, friends and family. I am thankful for all my readers as well.




And one just for fun

et cetera
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