{April 29, 2017}   ex:Best Friend

Well I didn’t get to write last night I fell a sleep after hardly sleeping for a week with all that has went on. I guess it was Friday my friend Wanda came over and moved in. I think I wrote a while back about her coming to stay with me I was going to help her with getting a job, car and things like that and she was going to help me watch the kids why I was in school and working as well. If not that was the plan for the summer. She was even talking about wanting to move away with us next year when we went. It would work for us both and help us both get things we needed done.

Well last week or the week I think it was my mom messaged me and ask me if I knew that Father of the Year was talking to Wanda? She does not know that she was planing to come stay here or anything like that. I told her yes they were just friends. She said I better watch and that she knew what happen with another friend of ours and him talking. But that was the friend that introduced us to each other. With her she was doing it behind my back after I told her not to. I knew that Wanda was, they both told me they were. I did say I didn’t care who they were friends with they are adults. But I also told him because he said he liked her that, the two of them were looking for different things and that she was my friend and it was not right for him to go there with her and go any farther than friends. Me and her talked about it after that she was laughing at him and talking about how he was and the shit he was saying he told him she was my friend it wasn’t right and shit and he told her I said it was fine. She said no it is one thing to be friends but another to be more than that. Just yesterday or the day before we were talking about how he tried to talk to another friend of mine and she was pissed he even thought she would do that because me and her were friends and things. That it just wasn’t something you do. She said the same thing.

The other night he came over here and he was all shitty didn’t say anything to me or anything to her flopped down on the chair outside where we were sitting. He was texting away on his phone. I ask who he was talking to at like 2 am he got all pissed off said no one. Then he said other shit we got in a big fight. I told him this was my house he wasn’t coming in my house talking to me like that and shit. Then he looked at me in a way I had never seen him look at me or anyone fire in his eyes like he was about to reach over and rip my head off. Then he looked back down when he seen I was looking at him. Then he tilted his head to the side and did the same thing to her.

Today he came took the kids to school and was supposed to come back he wanted me to help him do some things and he was supposed help me with the beds in the boys room. He didn’t come back, he didn’t answer and he hadn’t brought me money. I called he finally answered told me he was a few miles up the road looking for something. I ask what nothing, he kept saying. Then he said I am just driving around. I said you are looking for something you just said it. Then it was a friends house, but he couldn’t find it. I said no your not why not just call him see where it is? He said he didn’t have his number anymore he needed to talk to him about somethings. I told him he needed to bring my my money right away he was right here and still didn’t offer to bring it to me, that I needed it and wasn’t going to beg for it and the kids room needed done. We were on the phone he said he was by my house getting money at the ATM.

I asked him how much from last week he had because he just picked it up from my sister and my mom said she thought he got more than he was supposed to from her. He said he got the right amount that he was $100 short. I ask him where a $100 went in two days? He got all pissed off and started yelling and screaming at me while he was in the store. Then telling me I’m not on drugs, I don’t use anything and your just trying to destroy me and you just want me to kill myself I know you do. I said I don’t know what your talking about I never said anything about you using drugs or killing yourself. Yes you did to everyone you tell everyone that. I never said he was doing drugs or I thought he was but I have had about 4 or 5 people tell me they thought he was and ask me if I knew if he was. Then he finally shows up here all nasty and shit to give me the money.

He started again about the way things are, I said when you walk up in my house talking to me like this, when you walk up in my house and look at me the way you do like you just want to snap my head off, when you are sitting on the other side of the door and I have text you and sent you other messages just asking a question and you ignore me I guess then yes I am going to get pissed off and say something. I told him this is my house, I am not scared of him and that when he is at my house he isn’t going to walk around here in a shitty mood, ranting, talking to himself, giving me dirty looks and talking to everyone any old way he wants. He will have respect or he will not be here. I said just like the other night when you came in here and sat down I just ask who you were talking to so late. He ask me anytime i touch my phone or it goes off when he is here who is that who are you talking to who are you seeing. I said you are always accusing me of seeing someone and I am not and I have not problem telling you who it is. I don’t have to shouldn’t have to but I don’t hide shit. I couldn’t tell you I have to keep their personal information private it was a private conversation. I said I didn’t ask you what you were talking about or anything just who. How is that telling their personal business? Maybe that wasn’t the best way to put it I have to protect them. I said again protect them from what? Just giving me a name isn’t nothing. I ask him what are you hiding? Nothing he kept saying. Then he said it is someone I like I am close to I really care about. I said okay and you still can’t tell her name because you care about them? I said so that is some relationship isn’t it I like them they like me but I can’t tell anyone her name or we are together? What since does that make none? I said so what are you hiding because I am not stupid? He looked like he was a kid in trouble for something and about to cry and said Wanda!!! I said tell her to come out here, he went to the door and open it ask her to come outside. She was saying something I don’t know what, then he came out I said something else to him was waiting on her to come out she didn’t. In a minute or two I said where is she? He said I don’t know I told her you wanted her to come outside she didn’t really want to. I said you better tell her to come out here now. He went back to the door was asking her to come out a minute. She was saying something. I said you all think the other night when me and you got in a fight was bad, either one of you haven’t seen nothing yet because if she don’t come out here and I have to go in there it is going to get pretty fucking ugly really fucking fast and not either one of you going to like it. Her ass jumped up and ran out there then sat down in the chair by me. I ask her what happen thought this that and the other yall are just friends he is like a brother to you blah blah bullshit. I said so all this time you have been lying to me laughing behind my back we are just talking. No that isn’t how it is it’s only been a few days we been trying to tell you. I said no you don’t try you could have just done it. I said something to her and she lied I said boy you two are just a like sit and bold face lye for no reason. No I swear I didn’t like him but things changed I tried to tell you. I said this or that the other day, I said no you didn’t say yeah I did things have changed between me and Father of the Year. I said I even ask you the other day straight out you swore no no there is nothing.

She is the one that is sick I have sat at the hospital with, taken and picked up from the hospital, went to see in the hospital, went out of my way to take her food, went out of my way to buy her food even though I didn’t have money to be doing it for. I was so pissed, I said I guess all of it has been a lye using and backstabbing people. They just kept swearing it was not that way and things. I told them they stabbed me in the back and screwed me, Father of the Year said why how did this screw you? I said because we were supposed to help each other this summer, I was going to help her get a job, I was going to help her save money for a car, help her get to work, she was going to watch kids why I worked, why I went to school and now I can’t do any of that because I don’t have the help I need. He had the fucking nerve to tell me it’s okay you can still do that. I said no the fuck we can’t still do that. The fucking bitch can get the fuck out of my house and she better not ever come back here. I told her she needed to fucking get her shit and get out of my house. I asked her where she was going she said she didn’t know she guessed her brothers. I knew that was a lye she can’t go there. I just met her brother a few days ago. Then Father of the Year ask her if she needed a ride she said her brothers. After a little bit they got up she grabbed her shit and they left.

He had his toolbox with tools on my carport here he has never taken, I have told him and told him to and he never did. Why I was going through the tool box I found a big black trash bag on the carport with all his clothes in and around it. I put all the shit in the trash and on the road. Toolbox, tools and all. I know I could have gotten a little money for the stuff but I just wanted the shit out of my house. I took his clothes and put them in the trash cans down under stuff. Tonight I found his boots sitting in here. I looked for them earlier and couldn’t find them. I thought he had taken them, I took them out the kids had put a big box of hay, bedding, shit, food and stuff out of the Guinean pig cage. I took it filled his boots up with the shit and put them down to the bottom of the can and tossed the shit on top of them. I dumped the bag and dumped some on it. I then took what was left most the big box full and dumped it all over the rest of his stuff and pushed it all down in that can. I found some kind of harness out there I have never seen it before so I brought it inside and put it in my closet. I am thinking it is works not his and I don’t want to get rid of something if it is theirs. I am going to call them and ask them and tell them someone besides him needs to come and get it. If either of them come back here I am going to have them both trespassed.

The kids have ask where is Wanda when I picked them up, then they asked tonight where is daddy he was supposed to be here tonight. I just told them that Wanda moved out. I told them I didn’t know where dad was couldn’t get a hold of him. I guess he didn’t go to work already because he didn’t have his shoes to go, he didn’t have his clothes to go, he isn’t charging his phone neither will answer when messaged.

I really I was more pissed off at her than anything to come up in my house to live and do this. To tell me all the time your family not friends, my kids to get close to her and bring her into the family and she done us all this way. My kids loved her, they ask the last two days if she was moving in I said yes. Then the next day to day I find this out. They would come give me a hug and kiss we be sitting in the living-room watching tv at bedtime. they then would go over and give her a hug and go to bed. They looked at her like family as well. I just don’t know I am so pissed. I now have to go buy a door lock because they have a key to my house. I wanted to pound the hell out of her in the yard but I didn’t, I can’t get any charges and still be able to work and things. It wouldn’t have worked anyway.

I also messaged her ex that she has let think she is coming home at some point and let him know that when he goes to court she plans to come over there and kick the door in and get her stuff. She said she lives there gets mail there nothing anyone can do about it. I told him she was not with me anymore I put her and her shit out. He called and ask what was going on I told him she lying back stabbing whatever. He said she with Father of the Year? I said yep and him or her brother will bring her. He said I will whip his ass he will be in the hospital. I said whatever you got to do. I said something about it and all I have done for her and things she do this. He wasn’t surprised but he knew how she is. He told her her shit would be on the porch tomorrow and that he was going to be getting the rest together and anything that was not picked up by Tuesday was going in the trash so no need for her to come in when he not there. She isn’t responding. I had to call my mom tell her he isn’t coming back over there or going to help her like he was supposed to until September. She don’t want to come here I don’t want her to. I don’t know what she is going to do. I don’t know what I am going to do if he don’t pay.

I am going next week to child support enforcement I am telling them he don’t ever take the kids away from my house. I am going to tell them his child support is figured on half of what he really makes. I am also going to tell them that he got a raise and is making $17 to $18 an hour now and that his bills have went down. I am going to tell them I want it taken straight from his check and sent to me too. I am done all the way around with him. this is not right to do to someone who had done so much for you and was still helping you.

Why is that so hard to do these days, everyone feels like they can just mess with other peoples things and take them if they want it. I know it has always been that way but seems to be getting worse and worse. Before I could even wake up and get out of bed this morning I got a text from the girl across the street they stole her husbands truck out of their yard last night. She wondered if I seen or heard anything.

I text Father of the Year and ask him if he seen it when he left to go home, he was here late with the kids after I got home making them eat and clean up. He said he was sure it was not there when he left between 145 and 2 am to go home. They said they last seen it at 11 when they were outside then I guess went in to bed. My kids went to bed between 12 and 1 probably around 1230. Right before they went to bed the dogs wanted out and they took them out. I don’t normally let them go out by their self that late but I was sitting right by the door with it open they were right there in the yard. I could see them moving around through the windows where the blinds were up a little bit. Father of the year was sitting there too so I didn’t think much of it. All of a sudden I heard the dogs start barking and this slamming sound like a truck hood or door. The kids come and brought the dogs inside. I guess they were headed in already because they said they weren’t sure where it came from but the dogs were barking over that way pointed toward the road between the houses. It not being to late I figured it was someone doing something at their car or what. When we closed the door turned the light off a car left from over that way. At times different houses will have people come and go late once in a while.

Then she text me this morning and said this and he said it wasn’t there when he left I bet that is when they got it. They probably seen the kids and the dogs, the dogs started barking figuring because they didn’t know them jumped in it and closed the door to get lights off them before anyone seen them and then left when we came in. But my dog barks at everyone rather she knows them or not.

I told her someone is targeting them twice now they have stolen money out of her car and now took the truck. I think it is whoever has been messing around my house as well because the last time the night after Christmas when they got the money was the night they turned the lights and things on in my yard. I am going to morrow and getting camreas to put up. I just have to get someone to put them up or figure out how to get them up myself. Everyone says not to get the wireless ones because people can tap into them and watch your house but I do not have anyone to put them up or a lot to pay someone to put them up. I can probably put the others up because they don’t have to have wires ran for them just stick them up and your done. I may ask the girl who had their truck stolen if her husband could do it for me what he would charge to run the wired ones. I also am thinking the ones that are not wired so it would be easier to move when I move because I am not leaving them here. I am going to have to see what I can work out. He may help me out since we can fix one to point on their cars and things too.

It sucks because they just bought one right before Christmas the steering collume fell out and they got this one. Now this happens. I wonder if it isn’t someone they know or if it is just someone who got lucky the first time got some money they mess around here and tried it again and got the money and decided to take the truck this time. But I kind of think whoever stole the truck probably is not the same one who just stole the money last two times. What make them take the truck this time if their thing was just going around taking money out of unlocked cars. Who knows I so wish I had put them up earlier so we would know because it could have just as easily been mine or could be mine once I get it fixed or get another one.

This is why I keep mine locked up tight night and day in my yard at the little store or anywhere at all it is locked. At this point who wants mine when it’s tore up and trashed lol.

I am trying to decide is it just my kids or all kids really lazy or dose it just seem they are. I have talked about this before a little but it is really starting to truly just piss me off that they flat out refuse to do anything at all and nothing I say or do to try to get them to do it seems to matter.

I think it is more the out and out disrespect they show. The disrespect to me by just ignoring me, the disrespect of the way they treat their things, the disrespect for the house over all if that makes since. They don’t care if something gets broken or damaged, they don’t care that I go out of my way to make sure they have nice things or get to do things even though money is so tight. That I do with out a lot of things or for go a lot of things so that they can have things. When they get it it’s tossed her there and everywhere to get broken or messed up. My oldest wanted an air hog helicopter for Christmas. I don’t think she has ever used it and I don’t think at this point she could use it if she wanted to because it has been thrown everywhere and broken. No I didn’t buy a top of the line one but I didn’t buy the cheapest thing they had. I understand things get broke I understand things break. But when you do not take care of them and I find them in the floor under a stack of books or the bottom of the closet there is something wrong. Oh and by the way there is a bookcase in the other room empty just about that is just hers for her books only. But where are they thrown in the floor to be stepped on or stuff spilled on them breaking other stuff. No excuse for it but just didn’t do it.

The boys I went in their room we got rid of a lot of stuff and organised the rest. They dump toy box out to find all the people or parts to go with the sets they have so then big mess of stuff just to find what they really want to play with. I got the recycled/reusable shopping bags gave them one for all the ninja turtles, one for all the Scooby Doo people and things, one for all the play tools for the tool bench and so on. Hung them on a hanger in the closet. Took the Scooby house and the castle to the other set and big things like that and put in the top on the shelf. In the toy box I put the big stuff like the big cars, things like that. Now they want to play with the cars and little guys they pick the cars they want grab the bag wit the men and play. When they are done toss the little men in the bad hang up and drop cars in the toy box. Same with the Scooby Doo or even the tools grab the bag and house play or grab the bag of tools and go play at the work bench. Hang it up when your done very simple. But they don’t do it

Simple everyday chores are a battle and still don’t get done. I have given them list made charts just tell them what ones need done nothing seems to work. I made a list of chores that need to be done let them pick the ones they wanted to do still nothing. They are very simple easy chores shouldn’t take over 10 to 20 minutes other than washing their clothes even that the real work part isn’t that long. Few minutes to put in washer few to put in drier and 10 to fold and put away. They have maybe 5 chore all together a few need done daily and the rest once a week. I don’t care if they do them all on the same day or split them up through the week just do them.

I’ve tried being stricter telling them what to do when to do it and how, given them days to have what done for weekly stuff. I just give them the list and let them know what needs done daily and what needs done weekly and let them decide when to do them during the day and week. They just don’t care. I have tried taking stuff away, rewarding for getting them done, ignoring them not being done thinking once they have no clothes to wear they would get it and start washing their clothes, or once they ran out of plates bowls for the day they would want clean stuff to eat off of. Nope they complain and ask what to do then get mad when you tell them. Other adults have told them they are lucky because there kids do a lot more chores than they do other kids have told them how lucky they are how they wish they only had to do the few things they have to do. They just don’t care, they act like they should do nothing.

Both boys birthdays are in the next 21 days of course like any kid they want parties or an outing and cake the whole to do. I really don’t want to do anything. I want to just let them go by like it’s just another day. I don’t want to get gifts because they don’t take care of their stuff.

I one wants to go to a farm and the other wants to go to a science museum that has dinosaur bones. I was already planing a farm trip for our home school stuff. The museum we have been trying to get to but haven’t so I thought about doing that. I found a place not to far from us called Dinosaur World that I think they both would love to go to. Not sure what it is really going to be like they say it is a theme park but they don’t show any rides, they don’t have food there, it says you can order pizza have it brought to the park. They have have the mining for gyms thing and but it don’t show much of anything they really have. It says it sits on 20 acres so it seems like they should have something. Been here all my life I have never heard of it and have asked around most people have never heard of it so it really makes you wonder what it’s like. I figure it will be fun for the kids whatever they have or don’t have and it will probably be a trip we don’t make buy once. But it will be fun for their birthday. That is if they clean their room and keep it that way and they start doing their chores. If not I think I will take the money and do something for myself and do nothing for their birthday this year.

They have always had to help clean up there stuff and do little things around the house here and there. It isn’t like I just woke up one day and said I think they need to do chores and they should clean the house from top to bottom scrubbing with their toothbrushes. I don’t expect much more than I ever have just pick up clean up after your self and help to a couple things around the house since your part of the family and live here too. At least act like you care you have a place to live, food to eat and nice things. Just like the brand new bed I got the boys they have had for 6 months or so that is broken now. All because they were playing and being ruff on it. I should take their birthday money and fix the bed.

I’m just at a loss with them and what to do. It seems that nothing I try bothers them in the least. I don’t understand how nothing at all seems to matter to them.

I can say ok I’m going to do everything myself but their rooms and they still won’t even pick up the room enough that things aren’t getting broken and you can at least walk through it. The rest of the house they spill things drop things leave things laying all over. I clean one room go clean another and by the time I am done and go back to the first one it is worse than when I started and they walk off. I told the therepest today I am ready to take my little one pack our stuff and leave. Tell father of the year come back over here he wants them he can come over here and they can have the house they all can live here in the mess together. He is no help they cry to him they have to do chores I hear how it isn’t right they are kids, I shuuld easy up on them but then when he is here he has a shit fit that they are lazy and I don’t make them do anything and all about what they need to be doing. But he don’t make them or if he dose try to make them he talks to them like they are dogs and treats them like trash. But at this point I am don’t care because they act like nothing I say or want matters and like they can do whatever they want. Let them all be here together and figure it all out on their own. If I had somewhere to go I would probably do just that for about a month. Let father of the year figure out a babysitter, school, cooking, cleaning and getting the kids to their appointments and where they need to go. All while trying to work 6 days around the clock. And not give him any help paying for any of the bills child care clothes or anything else. See how he likes it. But if I did that I would lose my house because he wouldn’t pay the bills then I would have to move and I can’t do that right now.

et cetera
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