Single___Parent___Life











I have noticed a common theme among guys who pay child support. I find it rather laughable to say the least. It also made me stop and think, are they all really that dumb?

It seems that if a man pays child support he thinks the money goes to the mother and the mother rushes right out and spends it on herself, her friends, boyfriend and whoever else maybe around.

They think we spend it going out and partying, trips, our hair, nails and anything else that we feel like while the kids never see a dime of it. I have no idea where they came up with this idea or how they work this out in their heads and even make it make since that this is what we do with it. Because lets face it kids are not cheap. Even the very basics no frills out once in a while or never kind of thing is expensive.

To top it off most these guys are paying next to nothing in all reality for more than one kid and still think this. Like my ex and Jw. For 3 kids they are/were/supposed to pay around $125 a week. So that is $500 a month. So split that between 3 kids that is about $167 a month. Now lets break this down and see of it makes since to you all.

Kids need…

A house

Lights

Water

Food

Clothes

Haircuts

Money for field trips/school

It cost money for

Up keep on a car to take them places gas for it insurance and all that.

They want to buy things here and there

Before I finish breaking this down let me say this, yes I understand I would need a place to live, a car, have a light bill, water bill and things like that even if I didn’t have the kids. But if I didn’t have the kids I could have a smaller place, pay less of a light bill, water bill, spend less on food and things like that. So yes all this needs to be included and factored in. Because I have heard that and from some of these guys and others as well.

Okay now lets break this all down, lets start with rent say $800 a month break that down between 5 people that is $160 each a month. That is $240 his half. Now guy is paying $500 a month for 3 kids giving them each $167 a month. That leaves them each $80 after paying their part of the rent, lights are $20 each so that is $100 each paid now they each have $40 left. Food is $500 a month making it $50 each for food and they are now $10 short of their food budget. We haven’t touched water, school, net, extra things they want to do or anything else. That is splitting the rent it would cost for them in half the amount of the lights in half and everything else. I know that isn’t how they split it but this is what it cost at the end of the day to keep these kids. Even if that isn’t how they figure support. They are getting off lucky because they are not figuring that way. They also do not look at the fact that the one with the kids has no freedom and has to always worry about think about and make sure the kids are taken care of every second of every day why they can go about their day and never even think of their kids for days or years at a time.

So now I would like someone to explain to me how the hell do they think we spend anything at all of their money on ourselves or anyone else but the kids? Even if I or any other mother out there was to go out and have a drink, get our hair colored or went to dinner one night and used the money we got that week as “child support” we are not using your child support. We have already used our money to pay for all the things that our children needed the rest of the week, month or year. Because we can’t just wait for you to pay us before we pay the bills. We can’t tell the owner oh my ex pays support on Friday I will have it by Wednesday so just wait and I will give it to you then. Or the light company I know you want your money on Tuesday but I won’t have it until Wednesday. No I have to go into my pocket and use my money to pay them and skip doing things that I had planed or would like to do. So by the time I get the money you are supposed to give me then I am just getting the money I already spent back. So how are we spending “their” money on anything for us? Your kids have a home, shoes, clothes, lights, food, water and taken care of. Your money has not been spent on anyone but your kids.

Jw, said yeah I thought my ex was spending my money on herself until both my girls told me it went to them to cover all their school trips and things they needed for school. I said how would you even think that? What you pay and the number of kids and how much it cost to take care of them? He said yeah I know now but it is just something you think or feel when your paying it. But I understand what your saying and get it. He said we just don’t think about it the same way I guess.

Like he got mad at his ex because she had to go to child support enforcement. He was paying but not through the court and not the same amount I guess each week or what. Whatever reason she had to go down and get help from the state. I don’t know her if she does it all the time or got in a jam or what it was. I assume she must of lost her job or what the time it was and everything that was going on and didn’t have a choice. He is so mad at her because she agreed that their set up was good and not to go to child support. They had been doing it that way for a long time.

He has said something about it a few times when we were talking. I said to him the other night. I said Honey, how can you really get mad at her for going to them. I said she needed help to take care of your kids and provide what they needed. Instead of sitting there letting them go without she did what she had to do to take care of them and get them what they needed because you didn’t have the extra at the time or she was trying to keep from asking you and do her part or what she had to, to cover her part. If you have to go to them they make you go to child support and do what they want and they make you go after the other parent. If you don’t they will not help you. I said so it really isn’t her fault that they are involved. He just stopped for a minute and looked at me didn’t say anything. He just said yeah got quite after that.

But it is true would he rather his kids do without just so child support don’t get involved?

I don’t see how these guys don’t think about this stuff logically.



et cetera
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