React Without Thinking

This, this right here is why I need someone to go with me if I have to take the kids to see Father of the Year. I will react without thinking. Like I said they do what to me but now they are bringing my kids into it. Momma bear will fight in a second and think when it is all done.

Just like the time I almost got in a fight when I was pregnant with my 3rd. I done jumped out of the truck and was going off. Never thought about being pregnant until it was all done and over, I was on my way home.

I am one who goes from fine to done in the blink of an eye when it comes to some people or somethings said. When that happens there is no thinking.  I don’t like it but it’s just how I have always been.

I’m Not Dropping Them At The Park

I have been thinking about father of the years boss saying he wants to see the kids. Him saying that he wants me to drop them at the park so he can talk to them about his new wife and accepting her and him not being around, paying and all that will come up too I am sure.

The more I think about it the more this seems like a really bad idea. And me going with them and hanging out isn’t a good idea either. Because the two of them can push buttons and try to start shit with me to get me in trouble. If I am alone and its just them and the kids I am pretty much sol if they start.

I may have said it before I don’t know but they can say what they want about me to people, they can do what they want to me, but they will not get my kids and lie to them about the last year and a half. They will not take my kids and try to convince them or push them or make them feel bad and guilt them into or force them into accepting her or agreeing to come over there when they don’t want to.

If him or them start lying to my kids about what went on or why he wasn’t around or telling them they have to accept her, they have to go over there or anything like that it will get bad. Because I will set things straight right there and I will tell them they do not have to do anything they do not want to. Just like he did not have to see, pay or do anything for them the last year and a half because he did not want to. That he is only paying now because his boss in making him not because he wants to now and that if he was 100% honest with them the only reason he wants to see them now is because he thinks it will get me to drop the child support with his boss. It is not going to happen.

I can see the two of them trying to start crap with me to get me in trouble and I am to the point I don’t care. If they start and it comes down to a fight then so be it. Because I am not scared or intemadaited by either of them. I have new for her, if it goes so far as I get a hold of her they will be hard pressed getting me off of her and she will be hurt. Because they are dragging my kids through more bs just because of their own selfish reasons.

I was talking to Bff and father of the years old boss about it the other day. I told them not only is it wrong but my kids want nothing to do with her. If they are made to go over there then all hell will break lose because when he starts abusing them like he did when he was around and she starts in on them. My older two will snap on her. My son who is autistic is close to 6′ and 175lbs. He is pushed and feels attacked and backed into a corner he will fight. He has never hit anyone but he blows up and if I had not stepped in the other day when him my mom where fighting I am afraid it would of come to blows then. I am working on finding somewhere to start taking him to therapy again to help work on things. He is hitting those teen years and hormones are starting to kick into overdrive. They are not going to get him over there and start on him until they push him and something happens then they try to say or do who knows what. He is not going to end up with charges or some baker act or something like that over something like this that is out of his control and because of some adult messing with him and pushing him starting with him. I will not let that happen.

She is that way and would do it in a minute it just to try and get at me and to keep them from coming over there. Because she don’t want them there.

I am going to try and find someone to go with me if I have to take them to meet him or them at the park. Because I am not going to be alone for them to try and pull something. If they do try and pull something I have a witness and I have someone to kind of help me stay cool and not blow up.

My friend juggernaut said his cousin would go with me. I do not know him but I may take him up on it if it comes down to it.

But the more I think about all of it the more I see it turning bad quickly. Depending on how ballz they are feeling. I can see them not really doing something straight foward to start but passive aggressively doing something to start. Part of me says she is to scared of me to do or say anything but part of me says they are just that nasty they would if they think it would get them out of paying support.

Struggles and Trouble

Responsible all your life do everything your supposed to do, help everyone and do for them too and for what? What do we get in the end? Nothing but struggles and troubled times. Why the one’s who you helped walk through life with everything handed to them without a thought of you again.

Bad Influnce

I was talking to Starfish the last few nights. Last night we were joking around talking. I sent him a pucture of the handcuffs we use at work. He said I could cuff him of I was wearing one of those police costumes. He ask when he was going to be arrested. I said I didn’t know. He said you show me those and talk about me being scared, but you don’t know when I am going to be arrested? Your a really good cop. I said nope but since when do the cops tell you they are coming to arrest you before they are there? he said oh okay or something. Later I said you don’t want me to arrest you anyway. He said why not? I said I’m not your type! He said a bad bot don’t get to pick his type of cop rite? We talked little more he said he was going to bed.

I talk to him some tonight. I said I was going to run away. He ask why? I told him I was tored of all the bs. He ask when I was? I told him I couldn’t i thought he said something else. He said you need a walk on the beach. I said that would be nice and ask what he was doing tomorrow night. He said hanging out with one of the guys that use to work at the shop with us. I said oh boy. He said what? I said stay out of trouble. He said he would.

It has bothered me since because everyone knows what he does. He is a dealer and does shit himself. He never really hangs out with him when he does it isn’t good. I don’t know i shouldn’t care but I do, I try not to but I do. I hate to see anyone do something stupid like this. Its harder when you know so much and are so close to the situation.

When I ask what he was doing tomorrow I was going to see if he wanted to go to the beach. I think I am going to talk to him tomorrow see if I can get him to go. I am going to tell him he owes me. He said the other night if it was early and he is the one who brought it up tonight. Ask him who is scared now? I hope something happens he don’t end up going.

About to Learn A Lesson

I am so mad I went to pick the kids up from school and was early so I went inside. I seen one of the other parents that helps a lot was there and inside and thought I would go in and say high. I hadn’t stopped this morning when they went back from break and said anything, I just dropped the kids and left. The kids were all gone but one kid I hadn’t seen before. The other parent and teacher were sitting there talking I went in and talked with them. I was trying to figure out who the kid was but didn’t say anything he was sitting right at the teachers table with her. Then I thought he must be new and thought the kids may of said something about getting a new kid. He looked pissed off and like he didn’t want to be there like he thought he was to good to be there. I didn’t say anything.

He got up once sitting there and the teacher said something to him he got nasty with her. He said something to him and looked at me and just smiled big and said happy new year. Sarcastically I ah yeah looks like it. I figured by that he must be in trouble already to not be with the rest of the kids at life skills. The other kids came back and were getting ready to go home, the teacher ask my daughter to go ask the principle if the letter was ready for him.

We got in the truck and my daughter looked at me and was like we are already taking bets on how long the new kid is going to be here before he leaves and goes somewhere else. She said he is really bad. She said he started first thing this morning when they gave him the things for the pledge, creed and prayer. Started saying how he hated this and that and talking about it. Well him and his parents knew when they signed him up for the school this was how it was. Either do it or sit there and be quite don’t start about how you don’t like it how it is stupid or whatever.

She said then he was starting with her friend when they were having snack and lunch getting up in his face and things. When they went with the parent that teaches life skills he was kicking and poking the other kids and finally got sent back to class to sit. That is why he was there when I went in. Then my daughter tells me that when they were outside playing he almost ran into the other girl that is in the class she asked him not to run around her and that close to her like that. He turned around and all but ran over top of her. Then my kid tells me they were playing basketball and she had the ball in both hands over her head and he grabbed her arm and twisted it back behind her to make her let go of the ball because he was mad.

To say I am pissed is an understatement, I ask her what she did and she said nothing he finally let go. I ask her if she said anything to the teacher about it or what she said no. I was pissed even more. He wasn’t just playing the game you do not take someone’s arm and twist it down behind their back to get them to let go of the ball. Guy or girl and for sure don’t put your hands on a girl like that. I understand she is out there playing ball with the guys and things happen. But for this kid to just come up and do something like that for no reason and it is not part of the game to just show I’m going to rule and do what I want isn’t going to happen. I told her not to ever let someone do something like that to her and if they do she is to say something to someone not just let it go as part of the game or no big deal. Not from anyone and for sure not let no guy or boy do that to her. I told her if he does it again or anyone does to punch them in the nose and kick them. If they are going to do her that way then she has a right to defend herself and to do what she needs to to get away from them. I am not a fain of fighting and tell my kids to avoid it and they better not start it but once someone else puts their hands on you it is done you do what you have to do.

I wanted to go back to the school and say something right then but I knew the kids would be gone I am going early tomorrow and hope to catch the kid with his parents there with the teachers. I am going to tell them all he better not ever for any reason put his hands on my daughter again and that if he does she has been told to defend herself and that he better not put his hands on any of my kids not just her. Because I am ready to kick his ass and teach him a lesson his parents should have already taught him a long time ago, you don’t put your hands on a girl. Not when they have done nothing to you. If she twisted his arm or what and he hit her to get away or something I would understand but she did not touch him and was not doing anything to him. She was playing a game. I guess he had done it to another kid in the game as well when he got the ball. Like I said I don’t care if it is a game no where in the game does it say in order to get the ball do you twist someone’s arm behind there back until they give it to you or do what you want.

She says she didn’t say anything because they were playing the game and he was new and he was already in trouble she didn’t figure he is going to be there long anyway. Like I said I don’t care if today is his first and only day and they were playing a game it is not part of the game and he should not have his hands on her that way. It’s just his way of I’m going to have control and get what I want how every I have to do it I don’t care how I treat the other person. Well he picked the wrong kid to mess with. I know my daughter has been there long enough everyone in the class and all the staff and parents that are there working all the time know how she is and that she don’t mess with anyone or start trouble with anyone. To be honest none of the kids there do, they all get along and do things together and help each other out and pick on each other like brothers and sisters. I was surprised when she said he did it and her friend was standing there that likes her and nothing was said but she said he wasn’t looking when he done it. But if my 6 year old knows that you don’t hit other people and that you don’t hit girls there is no reason this 12 or 13 year old kid can’t understand this and not touch my daughter. He seems like the type that has a problem with women. I got that feeling from him when I walked in and started talking to everyone. Just the way he looked at me and sat there looking at them and the looks he was giving us all. I don’t think they noticed but I did I was standing right across the table from him I could have reach out and touched him. He just glare and give dirty looks.

 

Childish Shit

I was just looking at things on here about my top read post for the week and all that. I see that Free Whiny Children was one of the top read for the week so far. I thought without missing a beat it’s a good thing father of the year don’t know about my page or read it. Only a very very small few of my friends know about it no family. This is my place to come and write say what I want write about what I want and not have everyone’s two cents or everyone getting offended for whatever reason.

Anyway a facebook post from a few years ago came to mind. My little guy was about a year and a half two years old and he was being more than a handful this day. He let the dog out, broke something he been told not to touch, wasted stuff he wasn’t supposed to be into and I don’t know what all. Just in general being very destructive and disobeying. Letting the dog out alone cost me around $55. I put them to bed and was trying to relax and just couldn’t get over how bad he had been that day and all the stuff he gotten in and messed up or wasted. I posted to vent and joking along the lines of…………………………………….

This boy has been a handful/terror today between letting the dog out and the stuff he played in broke I think I am up to about $100 if it all had to be paid for again or replaced. I think I will just sell him for what he has messed up and then I won’t have to worry about him braking more or being a handful either. Any one want a extra kids for a low price of $100?

I was just venting, and being sarcastic. Joking around and of course didn’t mean anything by it. There is no one on my page other than friends and family not like every Tom, Dick, and Harry was going to see it and send me messages trying to “buy” my kid.

Well some bitch because that is all they really are if they are run back and say something just trying to cause problems. Told father of the year what I said on my page and blew it way out of proportion and made it into something it wasn’t. He in turn starts telling everyone how I am trying to sell my child on line and get rid of him. Then he says to me your really talking about or trying to sell said child on line? Not really wanting to know the true nature of the post or anything just to let me know I had said something along those lines. That it got back to him mostly.

I can’t stand people who do that shit and play sides. Either you really are out of it and can spend time talk to either side without bring the other one and what is going on into it or you can’t. Don’t play nice nice with me to just try to get dirt to start shit. I will forget you are even alive, block you and not speak to you again. I there are a few that I have blocked and when see them out in public I act as if they are not there walk by like I don’t see or hear them. You can say and do a lot but there are lines you don’t cross and when you cross that line and involve my kids in it. When you take something make it into something it isn’t even close to being then I have no use for you. I do not feel I can even say hi to you because who knows what you will try to twist that into.

I just found it funny how a simple vent blowing off some frustration and joking around like any parent dose when they have had a trying day with their kids. Turned in to me selling my kids on the black market. Because that is what they were implying. That I was a horrible mom because you know no ones kids give them a hard time and if they do we still just smile and everything is just sunshine and rainbows. God for bid we vent a little. I rather vent say something sarcastic and get it out then bottle it up inside and then blow up on my kid the next time he dose something.

Because he is just a kid and he is just doing kid things. But sometimes kid things are frustrating. Like my little bitty right now going through this take the diaper off and throw it a way every few minutes so she can run around naked until I catch her and put a new one on. And most the time peeing in the floor because she can’t hold it and get to the potty yet.

I am sure if he seen my above post I would be back at it again this time not selling just one nut three of the 4. Because some people are just childish and have nothing better to do with their life.

Little Demons For Sale

My little bitty was standing in the hall freaking out screaming and crying. I thought she wanted in her room the door was closed. My little guy open the door she kept standing there with her shopping cart freaking out. I finally got up and went to see what the screaming was all about. There is no way she could have gotten hurt she is standing in the empty hallway. I walk in there and ask her what is wrong as I move her cart to get to her. She looks at me and says poo poo and holds her foot up. I guess one of the pups went down the hall and pooped in the floor. She didn’t see it ran it over with her cart and stepped in it. You would have thought someone was cutting her foot off the way she was freaking out.

I tell my 9 year old to go clean it up. They have puppy duty. With my oldest been gone me and father of the year have been helping but I was busy trying to get everyone ready to go to our appointment. I’m getting everyone ready he is down the hall saying they aren’t puppies they are little demons they act like we are their slaves and should just clean up after them all the time. We take them out and we feed them and take them back out and they just come in and use the bathroom all in the floor. We need to get rid of them and give them to someone else.

I said so you really think we would get any takers if we put up a sign that says little demons for sale? He said no we are going to put up a sign that says cute little puppies for sale or free. I said so what are you going to do if they take them home and find that they are little demons and bring them back. He said I don’t think they will they will teach them better puppy manners and like them and want to keep. Them I asked him how come he couldn’t teach them good puppy manners and keep them he said he didn’t know how to teach a puppy good puppy manners and he was done with them. Then he really lost it when they started acting his bag and taking it why he was cleaning up the mess. I think we will be finding homes for two of the little demons, I mean puppies. But it is so hard because I let them pick one they wanted to keep and now I am really attached to the other little girl. We talked about getting rid of one and keeping two father of the year just taking one when he moves. But it seems so unfair to just be like ok we just don’t want this one. I really don’t see how two is going to be any easier than three.

The real problem is with everything going on we haven’t been able to spend much time with them we have too. Before my dad had his bad day there and this happen with little guys arm they were doing a lot better. The next few days should be better we have more time for them and have set a place up they can get out more so it should get better.