Single___Parent___Life











{May 9, 2020}   A New Position

I started this post weeks ago and never finished or posted it. I have worked on it a few times and up to all most 3000 words. Now that I have time to sit down on my lap top and really work on it I am going to start over and shrink it down some or at least clean it up a lot. Because a lot of it was written on the fly and when I was tired.

Right before or right when everything started to turn toward shutting down I was over at JW’s house after work on March 17th. I was kind of worried we may shut down because I had called around to the Salons and things that day and they all said they were closing or cutting hours or wasn’t sure what was going to happen because of this Covid19 mess. They would get back with us once everything settled down. I figured we would be open the next few weeks until after the first of March to see what was going to happen but wasn’t sure if things didn’t pick up by then or if they ordered a shut down what we would do.

I told JW I needed to talk to him about something he said okay. That night after I got there we were laying on the bed talking. He wanted to know what I needed to talk to him about. I told him that I didn’t know what was going to happen with all this going on. But that if I lost my job or jobs or got shut down and could not work and it caused me to lose my house I was not starting over here. I told him if I lost my job I didn’t know if I would be able to keep going with just the one or be able to find something that would work around what I was doing or what. But that if it came down to me losing my house because of it I was leaving. I would not stay here and start over for any reason. I told him I didn’t plan this and that I had decided to stay here and give us a chance since we got together. But that that would be three times in 8 years that me and my kids had ended up homeless and that I wasn’t starting over here again to end up that way again in a few years or so again.

I didn’t know what I expected him to say but wasn’t ready for what he said for sure. He said I’ll go with you. Where ever you want to go or you go. I want to go with you.

I asked him what he said because I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Like I said I didn’t know what to expect and don’t really know what I wanted him to say. I just wanted him to know before something happen so it wasn’t out of no where and unexpected if it happen. I even told him I figured we would be fine that wasn’t going to happen we would hold out the next few weeks and surely things would go back to normal. We might have a ruff patch but come out okay. I was an odd feeling when he said he was going to go with me. I don’t know how to explain it. I was happy but confused I don’t know why I felt the way I did but I did.

He said he understood and did not blame me at all if that happen and I moved. He said he didn’t want to lose me either. That he loved me and knew I needed to do what was best for the kids. He knew how high things are around here and how hard it is to just stay a float and how hard it would be for us to ever find anything around here if I did lose my place because of how much things have went up over the last 6 years since I got into the house I am in.

In a minute my phone went off, we both thought it was probably the kids wanting to know when I was going to be off and headed home or wanting me to pick something up on my way home. It was after 10 they know I get off between 10 and midnight. I looked and I guess the look on my face when I read it said a lot, because he said what? What is wrong? what happen?

I didn’t know what to say and couldn’t even say anything. I just turned the phone toward him so he could see it better and let him read it. He said oh no, I am so sorry honey. I said I had no idea I thought at least a few more weeks and really never expected this.

It was my one boss saying with no one needing us right now they were going to have to cut back for now. They were going to file for help and see how things went. That the best thing I could do right now was stay home take care of the kids and keep everyone safe. They would let me know as soon as things straightened out.

That was Tuesday night. Wednesday I went to my night job because we were still working there at that point. Shortly after I got there the owner came out sat down and talked to me. He was asking because he heard my kids were sick and things. I assured him everything was fine, they all had been to the doctor and tested positive for the flu and that they were not worried about it being anything else. That it had been a few weeks and everyone was over it. He said okay.

He went back in his office and then called me in there to talk to me. I was thinking great now he is going to tell me they are cutting back, shutting down or that he don’t need me for now they are worried about what the kids had or what. I got up and went in there.

I walked in and sat down. He started telling me that every year he gives a bounce that it wasn’t really based on anything other than how long you had been with the company. He said it is $200 a year for every year you are there. He said you have been here for a while now and close enough to a year you can get yours and for the full $200 for the first year.

I thanked him and told him I had hit my year that day actually. He said really and looked at the computer. He said how about that it is today. We talked some more.

I had found out he had two positions open slightly before this. But that is when I blew my car up. So I hadn’t talk to him about it because I wanted to make sure that I had a way to work and that I was going to be able to keep working down there. Some how that all came up. I think maybe I asked him and he said he had filled them.

He said he didn’t know I would be interested in more hours or what because he knew I had another job. I said yes but that I had been waiting to talk to him because of the issue with my car but that I had a vehicle now that I was not worried about that anymore.

He said if there is a position or something that you want or need come talk to me. He said I am sure that we can work something out. He said I wish I hadn’t just hired those two new people. He said we could of worked it out. I told him the news I got from my day job the night before that if he had hours to fill in the meantime I would do them. That I could be there days or nights or both. He said oh your not working your day job right now? He said the one new girl isn’t starting for a few weeks because of this covid mess. He said if you want to come in and help out in the office they could sure use it. They have been short three people for a while now. I said that would be great. He said come in two to ten. That way they have extra help and you can still do your night hours too. I told him that would be fine.

I did that for a few days and then the accounts guy told me he wanted me to come in earlier. I told him that I had my night stuff to do as well but that Thursday I could come early because they wouldn’t need me and that we leave early that day any way. He said okay.

I thought he talked to the owner or what about it. He didn’t. I went in and was there before him. The owner came by and asked why I was there so early and said something about my night hours and things. I told him I thought him and the accountant had talked about it and okay-ed it. He said no he knew nothing about it. I said they needed me early for training or something. At night on Thursday’s are slow I talked to M the guy I work with at night he agreed I really wouldn’t be missed or needed it would be okay. That the accountant was supposed to get the okay from him. I would of talked to him had I known he didn’t.

Later the accountant go there the owner had words with him. He said he wants you here two to ten. He was mad blah blah. I said that is fine. He said we really want and need you here earlier. I said yeah I know. I said but I can work on things at night from over here like I did before. Because I had helped over there in the evenings with credit cards and things.

Later the guy M I work with at night came in and he sits right against the owners office door. Everyone else had left I was working on somethings. I had walked over to the dispatch room for something and they were talking. My name came up and I heard it. I walked over into the owners office and stood there with them why they were talking. He was talking to M about me working the day hours and not being there that night and how he didn’t know but I had said we talked about it and things. M said yeah really we are not busy because we don’t have trucks rolling out and it has been slow here at night she has been leaving early already. It isn’t more than one person can handle right now. He said honestly if they need her and she wants to do more hours in the day or all of them it wouldn’t be an issue because I have it here at night.

See the owner had already told M a few days or week before that it was slow no point in me sitting around there doing nothing to tell me I could go home early if I wanted to. I had been. I was working enough hours to know I could pay everything that needed to be paid and give me spending money and that was it. Not that I didn’t need the money, but at the same time I knew what was going on and felt it was the right thing to do. Plus it gave me time to spend with JW and see how things were going to go there.

So the owner said okay then that was fine if I wanted to start coming in during the day whatever hours me and the others agreed upon would be find. He said we would get together and talk in two weeks and see where we all stood. As for the shut down, the new girl starting, if they still needed extra help once she did and if M needed me back at night or not.

So that is where we left things back in March.



{April 8, 2019}   Reality Setting In

Last night I was looking at facebook and it popped up, old boss, Bff;s hubby posted something a few minutes before. I looked it said feeling sad or upset and reality is starting to set in. He is away on the truck he was supposed to be back this past weekend but now not until Easter so he has been a way a little while.

I messaged her and asked what she done? She asked what I meant. I told her what I seen she seen it too. She said she didn’t know what it was all about she hadn’t said anything to him. She told me when he comes home she is telling him they are getting a divorce. I keep telling her she needs to wait and not do it yet she is going to make it worse than it has to be. I figured when I seen that she had said something to him or something had happen. That was all that was really said I went to sleep.

I went and got a tire on the truck and things this morning and tried to call her when I thought she would be taking the kids to school and headed to work. She never answered. I tried to call her a few times yesterday she never answered either. She hardly answers at all anymore her aunt said the same thing to me the other night she don’t hear from her and they she don’t see her anymore since he left and this one showed up and things. That she don’t think this is a good idea and that she thinks she is scared to be alone too.

She just called me a little bit ago and wanted to know if old boss contacted me. She said he contacted her oldest and the guy down the street where we all were drinking that night and where Sleeping Beauty is supposed to be staying. He contacted his wife this morning. She said she is waiting on her to get up so she can talk to her and see what was said or what she told him.

But I got news for her she can’t trust what she tells her because from what has been said they are or have been messing around and talking. I know she was up at the shop all the time for no real reason hanging out in the office and things when I wasn’t there because she was always logged into stuff on the computer. I would see her leaving there when I went by. This was long after her husband was fired and not working there anymore. Few times I was there she came up she didn’t hangout long never got out most the time or said she had to go because he was on his way home she didn’t’ want him to see her car there.

So she will most likely tell him that Sleeping Beauty isn’t staying there and that he is staying over there. Her oldest probably already has as well because she isn’t real happy about him being there and has been saying things and she is very two faced. As long as she is getting what she wants she acts all nice and like everything is great but as soon as she gets pissed about something or don’t get what she wants she will turn around and stab you in the back. Bff knows it she talks about it all the time, but then does all this stuff. I told her to many times you don’t want him to know something you shouldn’t be doing it where the kids can see or let them know what you are doing and you shouldn’t be telling them don’t tell daddy. I said that is wrong right there.

I said yeah I don’t tell my kids things and I also don’t do things in front of my kids. Not because I have anyone to answer to because I have no one to answer to and no one that can do anything about anything no matter how much they like it or don’t like it. But I am not going to tell my kids to lie for me there is no reason for them to. And I am not going to put my kids in that position to feel that they need to lie or that they are telling something they shouldn’t tell just because it is my business. I am not going to put them in the piston to be drilled by their dad if he walks back in the picture or anyone else that may decide to ask questions. Not telling your kids things and doing things they don’t know about is one things and I don’t have a problem with. But when you start telling them to lie and not to tell things and you are doing it and saying it in front of them that is wrong. I have a problem with that. She don’t really say much when I tell her or say it to her.

She seemed funny on the phone when she was talking to me today. She wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. I thought she was going to ask me what I was going to say or say something about what to say to him or what if he did but she didn’t. I think she wanted to but wasn’t sure. I said he probably won’t contact me anyway he will figure he isn’t going to get anywhere with me or get the information he wants out of me and left it at that. I haven’t said anything as much as I don’t agree with it because it isn’t’ my place. I don’t know what to say if he contacts me and starts asking questions. I am not going to lie but at the same time I don’t want to throw her under the bus or cause her problems. But I have a feeling by the time he contacts me if he does then he will probably already know and just trying to get someone to confirm it. I hope he don’t contact me and have to decide how to handle it if he does. I do not like being put in this position.



Last night when I got to  work there were a handful of the days guys there and the owner was still there as well. They left and in a little bit the owner came in and he sat down and was talking to me and the guy training me. He asked how I liked it so far and what I thought. I told him I liked it so far and it didn’t seem like something I couldn’t handle and do or mind doing.

He sat and talked for a while and about everything. He was talking about how even though they are going “over the road” they still get their home time and the pay is still good and doing extra little things for them to help them out and things to keep them and make it worth it to them. Even if it wasn’t the ideal freight to haul and deal with it was worth it.

He said something about how some of them had all these other jobs and jump from one to the other and get ripped off and screwed by so many of these companies and things. I said yeah people say oh I have had so many jobs and things. I said but I am always looking to move up and or better myself and so if I can’t do it here I move on to over there if the chance comes. I said and then I have had some that it comes down to the bullshit outweighs the pay and it is time to move on. I said like when I did fast food I decided to just not go back in one day because I decided that it was better to leave on my own than to be escorted out.

He looked and said something and the guy training me looked like he didn’t know what to say at first. In a second he laughed and said yeah your right the bullshit starts outweighing the pay it is time to walk. The owner said and that is what we are trying to keep from happening here. He said because it is nasty at times there is bullshit at times but we don’t want it to be not worth it to the drivers. We want to take care of them and help them and if they do a little extra or something then I will through them a little extra on their check. He said it is just taking care of your employee’s.

He said I have one guy has been here for 18 years, he came in at 30 something didn’t have any teeth. He said he would always turn away when he laughed or smiled or cover his mouth and things. He said I have a friend he makes the teeth for the dentist around here. He said we were talking one day he said hey I can do the impressions and all that and make them for like $900 if he don’t have any. He said so I sent him over there and had it done. You wouldn’t believe how much that changed him.

He said actually right now I am working on getting two more sets made for a couple of the guys out there right now. He said they are talking about how much it is going to change their lives and things. He said I wouldn’t have thought something like that would be so life changing but it is. He said I could of just gave them $900 to do whatever with or for doing the extra or going that extra mile but it isn’t the same when you take the time and do something for them instead. He said they have to feel that we care and that they matter. I said yeah I know what you are talking about.

He said something about them calling in and being their concealer and things like that. He said but it makes a huge difference if you just talk to them for a bit help them see things from a different view or give them some ideas of how to handle whatever is going on. He said it might be a crisis in their life at the time they are in a truck not home and this or that is going on, your their life line. I said I have had crisis intervention. He said oh your a huge asset to this company you just moved to upper management.

He was talking about how they have dysfunctions and things and we all do but theirs are a little more extreme or they don’t know how to deal with them or want to deal with them and things. I said it is how they deal with them is a lot of it. He said yes. How they are loners and don’t want to deal with people be with people or part of a family or tribe. He said even the worse of the worse really do. I said well I have had psychology and abnormal psychology as well. I said I have taken all those kinds of classes. He said you should have no problem getting along with the guys and dealing with them your are rounded and can see where they are coming from and things. He said I think your voice will be better than hearing one of ours over all whatever it is going on anyway.

He was talking about growing and moving the building across the street I guess having one built over there. It is like a dirt driveway really he owns that as well. He said we have the work we are turning work down everyday because we don’t have the trucks and drivers to haul it. He said I could add 20 or 30 trucks tomorrow and have them all on the road with no problems. But I don’t have the drivers to put in them. He said I am trying to up the pay and get more drivers so that I can get more trucks up and going. He said because work isn’t the problem we have it and can get it easy.

I let him know I like the job and that why I hadn’t done much but listen and things I did not think it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle and that I planed to stay. He made a comment about seeing if I liked it there and if they felt it was a good fit before they spent a bunch of time and things to train me. One of the other guys said something along the same lines. I wanted them to know I had no plans of leaving and that I wanted to get trained and start doing more as soon as I could.

I think because it is a bunch of guys they are worried. They aren’t use to having a women in there working with them so closely I guess. There are the others in the office but they I don’t really deal with them on a one or one taking care of their problems kind of thing like I am. There are 7 or 8 of us doing my job and the are all guys. But like I told them I am not bothered by that at all. I am use to working with guys and really like I have said here before would rather to. They are just easier to get a long with and deal with most the time. They either like you or they don’t. If they don’t they aren’t giving you no mind, they will deal with you when they have to and forget about you when they don’t. With women it is different they don’t like you or you piss them off they get all catty and things. I don’t deal with that. I will say something and just hurt feelings and piss people off more. The guys they get pissed about something in a few minutes they have forgotten or gotten over it if not they will have by tomorrow or they will give you shit and you go on from there. Most time. You will have a few here and there that will get butt hurt and oh well your not the only one that has a problem with them anyway and everyone knows how they are.

I told him things I need to make it easier for me and to know what is going on. He said they don’t have a lot written down because he don’t want things getting out to other companies and things like that. I am just going to tell the guy who is training me tonight, look I really need to have this, this, and this in order to really understand what is going on and be able to do my job and help these guys when they call in. So I need you to help me get this put together so that I can do what I need to do. I can put it in a folder or leave it on the computer. Right now I don’t have a desk or anything. I am using someone’s desk that leaves before I get there and we are sharing the computer. I guess I will have a desk when the guy who is training me leaves. Because they have no extra ones right now. I hope I get his I like where it is and how it is set up. It is over in the corner by it’s self. the rest are lined up your elbow to elbow with everyone. The one I am working at now is like that. Even though there isn’t anyone there next to me at night I don’t like the set up. I just want mine over in the corner I can be left alone.



{March 19, 2019}   My First Night of Work

It took me about 30 minutes to get from my day job to my new night job. Had I went the other way it probably would of took me a little less time. But I wasn’t sure and was thinking the way I went would be the fastest or just as fast but it really isn’t coming from work. I think if was coming from home it would of been about the same either way but it is out of the way to go that way from work. I am going to go the other way today and see how long it takes me to get there then decide. I just thought I would hit more lights the other way and the speed limit is slower. But when I went this way there was more traffic and lights and we came to a stop a couple of times. I am not worried about miles as it is only a few I just want the fastest time there. It only took me 20 minutes to get home. I would of took less but with my truck the way it is and it being dark and raining. The good thing is they have put up a lot of lights out there so it is easier to see on most the trip home.

I got there and went in the guy that is training me was there and one of the others that do our job. Then one of the truck drivers came in and hung out for a while waiting on his partner to get there. They most all run teams so the trucks can be up and moving 24/7. The other driver got there and they talked for a few and they went on. In a bit the guy that is supposed to be training me asked if they showed me around when I was there. I said no just here and introduced me to some of the guys that were in here at the time. He said okay we can go walk around check things out and show you around.

We went outback he showed me the two spots the trucks are parked. The ones on the right are just parked and waiting he said the doors should all be open if they aren’t then we go over to see why and check them. Then the ones backed in on the left all have freight on them waiting to move or to be picked up. He said we just walk around check the temp, check to make sure they have fuel and open them up see what is inside. Everything is refrigerated so the temp has to be at 34/35 degrees, he said the guys will park them have them on and not put fuel in them so we check the tanks for that to make sure they stay going. Then just check to see what is on them so we know what is where and what we have there. I have to find out when we are supposed to do that. I guess it is probably different each day depending on what trucks we have coming and going when. We had one of the other trucks come in and park he had a load to be picked up later on it. Then one of the other guys came in and picked up a truck to take to someone else somewhere or meet a load because someone took the wrong thing or something. It seems they take the wrong thing often, I am not sure how if we are putting the routs together and giving them the information. They just aren’t watching or checking things or something.

He said it is pretty slow on Mondays, he said Tuesdays are little busier and that Wednesdays are there really busy day. He said Thursdays starts to slow down and Friday gets dead again most the time.

We were standing outback talking and things he said something about where the guys park and others parked. I said I just pulled up and parked out front I didn’t know where I should park but figured it was okay since we were closed. He said yeah that is fine and he looked he said I know that truck, you live around x area? I said yeah. He lives on the street that is kind of across from my house. You go down to the “main” road and cross he lives on that side a few blocks away. He asked if I knew someone that lives or use to live over there? I said no not really I don’t talk to the people around me to much. I said I know the weird guy lived there for a bit. He said yes he said we lived next to him and we rent our house now from him. I said oh okay. He said but his partner bought him out. I said he was very weird and strange. He said my wife said the same thing about him gave her the creeps. I said yeah told him how he did me in the store and things. How he told me he was a slumlord. He said yeah pretty much.

We went inside and sat for a while with not much of anything going on. Some of the guys called him and things. He had me call on of our people we pick up for to see if he had anything that needed picked up today or not. He had me answer the phone one of the guys called.

The guys seemed surprised when they found out I was taking over and going to be their new night support. But they were all really nice that I have met so far. They say everyone gets along really well and it isn’t a good place to work for.

The guy training me said the owners sons work there do the same job we do. He said they have owner son syndrome. He said he will tell you they do and have at it. He said he comes in at 12 takes a two hour or more lunch at 2 and leave at 5 or 6. He said and you will know the other when you meet him he thinks he is just the shit. I said oh nice. He said something about when he meets me. I didn’t say anything. I just was like oh okay.

He asked me what kind of jobs I have had and things like that. I said I run a knife sharpening shop, bail bonds, car sales, repo’s. He said oh you did bail bonds you should be able to handle this and the guys with no problems. He said if you did them around here you probably know half our guys lol. He said it is a glorified babysitting job but the money is better. It’s like watching a bunch of 4 year old’s. You have to break it all down and put it in very simple terms for them, they over complicate things. I said so basically like working at the transmission shop. He laughed, I said I was hired to to filing and cleaning. But then when the owner had to be out of town I went in and spent the day to make sure the guys showed up, didn’t steal, didn’t leave early and that they did the work. I said turn the tv off and run them out of the office or they would sit there for the day. He said basically.

He tried to explain things to me but it didn’t make since because I had no clue what he was talking about or what was going on. He said the same thing he can explain it all night but unless your hands on doing it you won’t have a clue what it all is or what to do when something happens. He said it will be busier today and he is going to give me things to do and show me stuff. He says he is only going to be there two weeks I don’t know who is going to train or work with me after that because they said I would have at least a month of training. I’m not worried about it if I get two weeks I should be able to do it from there other than little things that pop up and then I can call someone. I should have it down in that time. I would say sooner but not knowing any of it and working with places in 30 different states and different places in each state and the guys meeting up and trading stuff back and forth and things it may take a little time to learn all the different trucks and routs and guys and who is on what truck and rout. He said they try to keep that the same all the time unless something happens and they have to change something around or something.

He said after 6 months you get a company phone, don’t give your number to everyone. He said the other guy gave his number to all the people we transport for and everything else and he had people calling him at like 3 am because that is when their day starts so should everyone else. I said oh no I’m not going to be doing that. He said then you will get calls from everyone because most these guys don’t answer their phones at night.

He said some nights you will sit there hours with not one phone calls and other nights it is a shit show you have everything and everyone wanting something at once. He said some nights I am out of here right at ten or around other nights I am not out until midnight. He said the calls still come up until about 2 after that it slows down. He said but again it isn’t every night and you won’t have to deal with that because you don’t have a phone or one yet. He said I don’t know if he will get you one or not but he probably will. That isn’t bad if I can get a few extra hours here and there would be great. heck two extra hours is an extra $32 that night.

I am still not sure who all or if anyone will be out there with me. There was the guy that was in the yard last night he was doing things with the trucks I got the idea he was like a lot guy who did things not a driver. But then he didn’t introduce us the other guy started talking to him again he got up on the truck was talking to him and then we went on. I think he must be there most the time for some hours not sure. I am going to ask him tonight.

I think I will like it it will be a decent job and work out.



et cetera
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