{June 25, 2015}   Out Walking In The Night

The other day I posted about running out of gas with my friend and two little s (Your Not Going To Kill Me, Are You). I walked up to the station got gas and a ride back  to the van.

Well last night I left the kids with father of the year and went to church, I haven’t been in almost a month and missed bible study last month. I really felt I needed to go. We put about $15 in gas yesterday and he put in another $5 this morning. We have went hardly no where on that $20 at all. My big ass truck gets over 10 miles to a gallon I know this little mini van should get at least that if not more so on $20 I should have been able to go them places home and him back to work and home again.

I get half way home from bible study and break down right in front of my old job. I nearly make it off the road and into their lot before it wouldn’t go any more. I called all over to try and get someone to come help me and everyone was busy or working. I sat there a little bit and decided to go try and get gas.

I walked up to the little store and paid over $10 for a little tiny gas can and got $2.50 in gas. I went to walk back to the van this older guy come out of the store and called to me. I walked back over the guy working in the store came out he said he is ok really nice guy I have known him for a while he will take you back to your car if you want. I thought at that point may as well I rather fight than walk tonight. We got back to the van and put the gas in it still wouldn’t start. The guy finally left and I called farther of the year had him call work and have them send a tow truck.

I have no idea what is wrong with it sitting there doing nothing and it makes this grinding and growing sound. No key on or in it. I think it is possessed really I do. At this point I really don’t care. I just needed it to last until Friday because I didn’t get my money Tuesday. Went to the school they said it wouldn’t be there until the end of the week. At this point I have nothing to do, no where to go today, I will just find a way to go get my truck and forget it. It needs to much work and not worth it to me to put money into it to make it run again for a day or two when it needs so much other stuff that is going to be a problem soon. I told them the other day I think it is something besides the gas because I thought it should have had gas in it the other day when we got stuck too. Now they think it is something wrong with the fuel pump. Even though the gage didn’t work and read full one minute and empty the next once it got to low it would ding and once it started to ding you had to get gas right away. It hasn’t dinged the last two times it was supposedly out of gas. But if it is the fuel pump even if it isn’t out if it gets to low it would still keep it from pulling it up through there so it wouldn’t run.

Everyone says they can come take a look at it or wants to buy it but don’t want to pay anything for it. I told them at this point it is tagged until October I can leave it sit parked and nothing no one can do about it for now. I have to much other stuff to worry about to think about what to do with it. If I sell it I have to track my brother down get him to sign papers and then sit at the tag office for hours to get at title. No one wants to give me over $500 to $600 for it. It will cost me $100 to get a title so I am back down to $500 plus the hours sitting waiting to get a title with 4 kids. I went to just get my license the other day and sat for 2.5 hours. It is no different than sitting and waiting for a title. I can scrap it for $500 with no title why would I want to sell it for $600 or even $700 to still end up with only $500 by the time I sit wait and pay for a title. They don’t seem to understand that. My friend wants the tires if they are in good shape. I figure I will sell them the tires for it and get his old ones and put on it and still sell it for $500 for scrap and still be at $600 or more and not have to do all the running around putting out money and waiting. If he wants anything else off of it I can sell him that too and then scrap it.

Its pouring here so not like we would have been going anywhere today any how.

{February 6, 2015}   Finally Get To See My Dad

Finally just a few minutes ago the van got fixed after being broke down for what seems like forever. I know it just broke down the night before last and was down yesterday. But with all that is going on it seems like it has been days.

They looked at it last night but wanted to get another bolt and things for it because the one that came with it seemed small. Then my friend was going to come back today and take me to see my dad since it couldn’t get done until after 6 tonight. By then he would be sleeping it would be to late to go see him. Then today she couldn’t come take me other stuff happen.

I finally called father of the year and told him to just bring be the bolt and thing that came off of it, I would go get the part and figure out how to put it on myself. If I needed to get a bigger bold later I would. I really didn’t care as long as it would get me where I needed to go and back. If it broke again I just have to fix it again but it should last a while before it did that one did.

So now I am feeding the kids lunch and trying to get them to get dressed so that we can get out of here and go. I don’t figure we will be there long but at least I will get to see him. They said yesterday he hadn’t eaten in two days. Don’t know if he finally ate last night or today or not. I have a feeling he probably hasn’t. I hope I can get him to eat something when I get there but I don’t know. I know before they tell me he said he didn’t want anything then I ask him he eat something.

I just wish my heart would stop hurting it has been hurting for days now. It just seems to be getting worse and worse. I am use to it hurting off and on through the day, but never all day everyday and not for days and just hurt more and more not get better.  I know it is the stress but I know it isn’t good too. It shouldn’t be hurting like this for this long. I haven’t had anything to take for it for years. I don’t even have a doctor to go to or I could call that could give me some. I can’t tell you the last time I went to a doctor other than when I was pregnant. The last time I remember going was back a year or so before I had my little guy, so probably about 6 or 7 years ago. I guess I will have to see about getting something for it Monday or Tuesday if it hasn’t stopped hurting by then.

{February 5, 2015}   Just My Luck

The van has been having a problem with the oil the last week or so. I haven’t been driving it far to my dads and back is about it and close around the house to the store. I been trying to make it last until I can get the money to fix it or the truck or get something else. Yesterday it seemed to be worse when I went out to a few places I had to go. I wanted to go see my dad but was worried I would get stuck in it with the kids somewhere in the dark. I decided to wait until today and go.

Last night the dog got out I went to find her. I had all the kids in the van it started making a horrible sound and then smelled like something burning. I took it home parked it and got the kids out. We lifted the hood to look couldn’t figure out what it was. I got in and started it and one of the pulley’s flew off and landed under it. It was so hot it almost caught some pine needles under it on fire we had to get it from under there.

So now I am stuck and can’t get anywhere. I can’t up there to see my dad or anything. I have the appointment to get my little guys cast off tomorrow and I can’t get to it.

I called my dad today and told him the van broke down I couldn’t find a ride that I hope someone would fix it today if it wasn’t to bad and I could get there tomorrow. He was trying so hard to tell me something but I don’t know what it was he was trying to tell me. They said he hasn’t eaten in a couple days now. I feel like shit I can’t get up there to see him. I have two fucking vehicles sitting out there and can’t make one of them work enough to get there and see him. My little guy has been asking since Tuesday if we could go see grandpa.

I have not been handling then well at all and this is just pushing it over the edge. I am so tired and so my nerves are so gone. I just want to go to bed and not get up. It seems that anything and everything that could go wrong has just blown up. I can’t really do anything until my tax money gets here. Father of the year has been cut hours at work and missed a couple days with everything that’s going on. Money is so tight it isn’t even funny.

et cetera
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