{August 2, 2017}   Went to the Courthouse

I ended up having to call out of work Monday because Little Bitty was up and down all night sick and then woke me up at 6 something in the morning puking all over herself and the bed beside me. I got her a shower, cleaned up the bed and took her back to bed. I was up and down trying to call work to tell them and trying to get a hold of my friend that my oldest was spending the night with. I needed them to stop and get me something for her fever because we used the last of it in the night. She finally came home around 12 or so and we were still laying down because I had not slept. Every time I start to go to sleep I had to get up for something. I was going to take her to the doctor that after noon before they closed we were trying to nap before we went because I could’t hold my eyes open. I couldn’t drive I was so tired at that point. I heard someone knock on the door and told my oldest to get it. I figured it was the church people who come around every so often. I told her to tell them I couldn’t come to the door. She came back and said there was a man at the door wanting me. I ask her if it was the church people she said no some guy she never seen before. I ask her what he looked like what he was wearing or what. She said just jeans and a company shirt. I was in a t-shirt I put on a pair of my jeans that were laying here and went to the door. It was a friend of mine I haven’t talk to in forever, Father of the Years boss.

I closed the door and went outside to talk to him. He handed me an envelope with money in it and said it was from Father of the Year. There wasn’t even a months worth of support there. He said it was for the last three weeks that he had been working for him. He said something else and he said yeah I guess he got MARRIED last Friday. I didn’t act surprised, shocked or like I even cared. I laughed and said that should turn out good. He looked at me funny said why? I told him everything, how he met her, how they did all this behind my back, how I helped her and helped her, how he took the kids to school told them all this he was going to do, how he told them he was going to go get a place so he could see them and things, how he had his other job making $18 an hour and had a grand in his pocket the day he left and another grand or close to it every day after that but was still homeless and car less, how he didn’t go and lost his job everything. I told him how the kids have not seen him on over three months he had not paid me refused to and all his excuse. How he told me to take him to child support that he couldn’t pay me because he would have no record of it. I said why couldn’t he get a book for me to sign he did and I did a few times but then he stop bringing it, he could get a money order keep a copy/picture of it the stub, he could take that money he makes open a bank account and write me a check. So not being able to keep a record of it isn’t why he isn’t paying. I told him how he sold his truck for $500 to pay for a room. I told him that I knew for a fact that he has a drug problem and how he goes through $150 to $250 every day or two. How many people have ask me what he is on what happen to him and told me how every time they see him he is high as a kite. He said well now that I know that I am going to have to keep a close eye on him because he is working for him and he is responsible for what happens if he messes up or gets hurt and things.

I told him he would be getting paper work from child support to take it out of his check. He said he would have to fire him if that was the case because he didn’t want to deal with them. He said he pays them under the table and things he didn’t need to be involved with all that. I said well you can tell them he is fired don’t work there all you want. There are plenty of people who see him all the time working and there. He said no I mean I am going to go home and get rid of him I am not just going to tell them that. I said well if that is what you have to do but I have to watch out for my kids and get things set up to make sure my kids are taken care of. He said if I take out much more then it is going to leave him with only about $100 a week to live off of, I am trying to leave him and his new family (he has no family it is him and her) money to live on and make sure you are getting your part too. I said oh well if that is all it leaves him with not my problems. He hasn’t cared all these months and the months before when he would only pay what he wanted and when he wanted and the last three he has left them with nothing. If that is the case then maybe she needs to go get a job too. He just looked at me said yeah your right but at least this way you are getting something if I fire him he will not have anything to give you. I said if I don’t do this now then it will take months to do and I don’t have months to play with this down the road when he decides to stop coming to work for you or you decide you get tired of him not calling or showing up and being late all the time. I said then I have to start all this court stuff over. I told him I want to move after the first of the year and need it in place so that when I am not here and can’t go to court it is done and if he stops they will just go after him and make him pay. He said well I guess I am going to be going home and telling him he has to find a different job then because he comes with to much baggage and drama I don’t need to be tied up in that. I said it isn’t you it is him and all he has done the last few years. I said I am done playing his games, I am having to do this with no help from him, I am having to work in order to pay his part and take away from me being here for my kids, taking a way time I could be doing my school and doing my school on top of it all. He knows all this he left here the day he left knowing he was supposed to give me money for food and pay the lights when I ask him he said he wasn’t giving me anything to bad and go to child support so that is what I have done.

We talked a little more about it all he said please don’t tell them he was working or is working for me I am going to go home now and tell him he has to find something else. I give you my word, he said we meet at my house every morning at 8 am you are welcome to come by any day you want and check for yourself he will not be there he is not working for me anymore. I know he is right but about not getting anything if he gets rid of him but at the same time if he tells him not to pay me and he wants the money he has to give it to him because he has no paperwork saying he has to take it out and pay me or that he can keep it and give it to me other than what he told him. When he isn’t making money or don’t make anything hardly one week then he will tell him oh don’t give her, hers this week. He said something about what he is making and things I said well he is capable of making that and he is capable of making more with you too but you see just like he took off last week to get married and whatever else he has taken off for he takes off all the time. When the judge looks and goes oh you could have worked x hours these weeks but you chose not to then he going to say you could have made x amount of money but didn’t want too. You knew you had to pay your child support and would need money for yourself if you were worried you would have worked the hours you were given but you didn’t so you must not be worried about making the money or must not need it that bad or you would have. He said yeah that is true, he said I think he needs to go and find another job making what he was because I can’t pay him that and he needs to have something on the books and someone who is willing to take it out of his check.

Before he left he said if you change your mind and just want me to take it out and bring it to you then let me know and I will give him his job back and we will do it. He said I am going to tell him he needs to come talk to you and try to work out something with you, if you and him decide on an amount to take out and for me to just take it out and bring it to you and you yourself call me and tell me hey we talked we agree to this or that then I will too but I am not taking him back if I don’t hear from you. I said but he won’t contact me. He said I don’t know I think he will, I said he hasn’t this long to even see how his kids are he won’t for that. He said I think you will be hearing from him in the next day or so. I just said okay and he left. It’s now what Wednesday night and he has yet to try and get a hold of me and talk to me to try and work anything out. I have thought about it and I probably messed up by taking the money because I was looking at going to court on abandonment if he didn’t pay or contact them for the 6 months or what. But now I took the money it will probably start over. I have been thinking about it the last few days and I am thinking that I should just tell him he needs to get a hold of me figure his child support by his new rate of pay then add a little to it for the back pay he owes me, tell him he has to pay that much a month I need it every week given to me. I am also going to tell him I need to have his address and phone number like he is supposed to give me per court order and try to get him to give me so much of the back pay upfront. If not then at least get him to give me his phone number and address so that if anything happens he decides to try and take the kids without me knowing then I will have a place to start looking for him. I bet he will agree to everything but the giving me his information. I am also going to tell him if he wants it to be figured right then he needs to give me proof of rent and bills not just his word and that when he comes to talk to me we will meet at x spot and he is not to bring her with him because it has nothing to do with her. When he tries to play but she is my wife card it does, I am going to say and these are your’s and mines kids not hers so therefor it has nothing to do with her. We are going to decide this not us, her, your boss, my friends, and yours. Once we agree to it then that is that it isn’t being changed unless we go to court. If he wants to agree to it all then I will go talk to his boss, if he don’t then he can be jobless.

I don’t want to do it at all but if I do I can tuck that money away and not touch it unless I have no other choice, then when I get enough to pay a lawyer I will just go get one and tell his boss look it is getting close to time for me to move so I am going to have to go get this done through the courts just letting you know so you can do what you have to or want to do. Then go talk to the lawyer. I still have a feeling that he is working there. I don’t know what to think. My friend lives like two blocks away from him. School starts back next week she will be going by that way she is going to sit at the store on the corner by his house see if she see’s father of the year over there or in one of the trucks when hey all leave and head out.

A bunch of them come into work just about every day, I will make it a point to get away from the back and into the lobby and start chit chatting with them and after a little bit be like yeah I think my ex husband works with you guys, you know father of the year? See if they say he don’t work there no more or oh yeah he on a different crew or what. Like I told my friend the boss’s brother likes me always has, he tried to talk to me and get with me when he would come over to me and Father of the years house when we were together and things were good between us. I told him no that wasn’t right and he couldn’t come back around. I will get a hold of him and see how he has been, tell him lets go out have some drinks or something. He will spill his guts before we get to the first place. Then I be like thanks for the information, oh got a call, oh got go home something up with kids we will have to do this another time. He will tell me if he is working, where he is living and everything. If he isn’t working for them but somewhere else he will tell me if he knows.

I am thinking about calling him telling him I have checked into some things if Father of the Year wants to meet and agree to something then we can meet and do it this way. Just so I can save the money for a lawyer. I am not going to tell anyone that I am even getting it if I do decide to do it.

{August 25, 2016}   Still Jealous

Father of the Year was here last night and he acted kind of funny. I could tell he wanted to say something but wasn’t. I was sitting here at the table doing stuff on line, he sat here at the table for a while. He acted like he wanted to bring something up but didn’t. I could tell he wanted to say something, ask something or something. But he never did so, I asked him about the wedding to see what he would say. I just said isn’t that the card to your brothers wedding over there that you were supposed to have sent back? He said yes he needed to get a hold of them. I asked him who he was going with or something like that. He said his self. I said your not taking the kids? He said he was thinking about it, he wants to take the older two but not Little Guy. I didn’t say anything. He said I guess I should take them all I just don’t know how he is going to do or something like that. I don’t know why he is so worried he is 6 and he is a pretty good kid. He can be a little rowdy at times but if everyone is sitting and watching the wedding he will sit and watch he isn’t going to be up in the middle of it or anything. There are going to be tons of other kids there as well so I am sure he won’t be the only littler one.

Oh then he tried to say well wouldn’t interrupt their schooling and stuff. I said they might miss a day or two but it isn’t like they miss a ton of days. The older kids had kids that didn’t even show up to school until like the week after because they had things planed. They aren’t going to miss anything because the teacher doesn’t stand up and “teach” the class any one given thing at any given time. The kids all sit at their tables with whoever they want to sit with there is a group of 12 kids ages from about 7 to 20 something. They each get their workbooks and pick whatever subject they want to work on and work on it. Some maybe working on math while others are working on reading and others on social studies, they are all on different levels. They work through it on their own at their pace and if they get stuck or need help they go over to the table where the teacher sits and they sit with her and she goes over it with them and shows them until they understand. Then they go back to their table. My oldest brings her books home almost every night and works ahead. My Big Boy is on track where he should be and even a little ahead in math. He brought home a notice congratulating him on finishing his first math workbook already and making a 100 on it. So they could bring their books home and work ahead before they leave, they could take extra time and work ahead at school or they could do either of the two once they got home. They wouldn’t miss that much they could even just add a few pages each day so that they stay on track. My little guy can always bring his home and work on it or they will work with him at school. He was like oh I guess your right.

I said it don’t matter to me what you do but if it is a family party and all the kids and family are getting together how are they going to feel when you say you are going alone or leaving some home and taking the others. He isn’t even taking all 4 of them he is only taking his three. I just don’t get it but he did have to have his mom go with him last time he took them up there for the week and came back. She is going but her and his dad are driving up and they are going before he would be leaving because he was going to follow them up or go together. I think he is scared to go on his own with them. I have a feeling he won’t go at all. If he does I will be surprised. I really don’t care if he goes or not or if he takes the kids or not. But I do need to know if he is going and if he is taking them. They will need stuff to wear they will need to let school know and he is supposed to let me know no less than 10 days before if he is leaving the state with them and give me the information as to where they are going. If he is going and not taking them then I need to know what he plans to do about that. I have to do hours for school and I do not know when they are going to be and they could be the weekend or during the week. I do not know if it falls on his weekend or not but if it does and he is not going to be here then it is up to him to come up with a sitter if it is needed. But he don’t think of any of this stuff. The odds are I will be here and won’t have that to worry about but it is possible. Plus I may like to make plans and do something if they are not going to be here. I will have my little one but I could take her to do something or get a sitter for a little bit and do something. I could do both they will be gone for the weekend. But he will wait until the last minute and then decide if he is going and then hasn’t even told them he is or isn’t and they probably assume he isn’t so then are they even going to be ready or prepared for them. That is the bigger question of it all right there but again he don’t think of that kind of stuff. Well he knows we talked about it he just don’t care, he does what he wants to do on his time and that’s just that everyone deals with it.

I finished at the computer went in the other room to do some stuff and talking to the kids. He just sat there not saying anything just looking around. Then out of nowhere he says so what do you want to say? I said what? He said you act like you want to say something but you haven’t yet. I said no just trying to get stuff done and figure out why your here. He didn’t like that, but it’s true why was he here? Why didn’t he go home after work? Instead he came here. He said because I called and ask him what time he was getting off work he thought I wanted something. He knew I didn’t need him to come over here I told him I was going to go take care of it. My mom wanted something from the store I figured if he was on his way home it make more since for him to get it or take her then for me to drive all the way over there and have to deal with her. He really thought I needed something he could have called before he went out of his way to stop here to see and he didn’t ask when he got here what I needed or anything.

He hung out for a while, I kept making the comment why was he still here and why he wasn’t going home? What did he really want, why did he really come over or what. He kept saying nothing he told me. I say why are you here he just look at me. I say then go home he start doing something with the kids. My friend that’s been sick called and wanted to know if I could give her a ride from the hospital again. I went and go her and left the kids here since he was here anyway. I got home he gave the kids dinner I had making. The next thing I knew the kids all went to bed. I was sitting here back at the computer. I asked him a few times again why he was here still and what he wanted. He just say nothing and mumble.

I finally said something and he said fine I’m jealous!!! I said what, of what, why? He said your going to meet someone or have met someone and I’m having a hard time with it. I want you back I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I’m mad at myself because I screwed up and I lost you. I just want to get back together. I said yeah that isn’t going to happen. He said I know, I know so are you seeing someone or talking to someone?

I said yeah I am with all this free time I have between taking kids to and from school, dealing with my school stuff and shuffling everyone else around here and there and taking them where they need to go. Well the kids are in school all day, I don’t know he say. I said and I am working on my stuff or taking my grandma and them places. Besides they would probably be at work that time of day if I was seeing or talking to someone. Well I don’t know it just bothers me to think of you with someone else and I ‘m having a really hard time with it and moving on. I said you sound like your feeling guilty to me who are you seeing or talking to? He said no one I don’t want no one. I don’t go anywhere to meet anyone I go to work and home that’s all. I said when your around your always on that phone. He said he was on facebook. I said facebook don’t respond right back all the time. I talk to my friend sometimes, that’s it. She just a friend. I said so whats wrong with her why don’t you go out with her? This is the one he asked to the wedding. He said she is just a friend, I said well you liked her for more than a friend before you told me a long time ago you liked her and wondered about her and things. She lives states away too. I said oh well you could change that. I don’t know I don’t want anyone else I just keep thinking about us and blah blah. I said oh well you need to go find you someone else to think about. Something else was said he finally got up and went on. Not that he should feel guilty if he did meet someone else but that is how he acted. And when I said something about finding someone else he said he was scared too. I asked him why he said he was scared of messing things up like he did with me. I said well don’t do the things you did with me with them and maybe you won’t.

Funny we are back to the how  he screwed up and that is why I left. It wasn’t that long ago he got all pissed off about something and I was the bitch and everything else again. Then it was all my fault we weren’t together and I was a horrible person for leaving him when he didn’t do anything wrong and it was all me. I just wanted to go out and fuck around. I wanted to party all the time and go out with all these guys. Funny in 6 years I was in one relationship that was it. I sure wasn’t out parting all the time. I was home taking care of 5 kids and now it’s been me and my 4. I am sure we will get back to the how horrible i am how I did this and it is all my fault again down he road. We always do. He just can’t seem to get past any of it. He goes from being pissed off to jealous. I don’t know I hope he don’t get like he did before because he got really nasty and pretty bad. There were many people scared he was going to do something really bad to me or to himself and maybe the kids. I am going to tell him he can’t just pop in over here anymore and that he needs to let me know when he is coming if he is he needs to pick the kids up and go did whatever not come and hang out all the time. I am also getting my key back. He never gave it to me when he moved. When I was so sick he was helping with the kids I didn’t say anything but forgot it after that. I don’t know why it has been on my mind and bothering me that he has my key still and something that keeps saying get it back get it back. I hadn’t really said anything because I know he is going to get pissed and probably start something or say something then. I didn’t want to start a fight in front of the kids. When I do it’s probably really going to piss him off even if he don’t say anything or start. He will sit and think about it and think about it and blow it up to something in his head. He is always like a ticking bomb, you never really know how he is going to react to something and then if he don’t if he is going to blow up about it later or start about it. Mine is about broke in half I figured I just tell him mine broke I need the other key and go get it from him at work. He won’t think anything of it maybe. If he says something about getting another made I just forget. Or tell him he don’t need one it is my house.

He did all he did and it took me all these years for me to get him to agree and go through with the divorce and I finally got it. Does he really think I am going to turn around and go oh I changed my mind lets get back together? He must be stupider than I thought our think that I have just lost my mind. There is no way I would ever get back with him, divorce or no divorce wouldn’t happen no reason no how. He knows this I have told him that before. He just acts like oh the divorce is over now he has a chance. What the hell is he thinking? I mean really does he really think this far into things there is still hope or a chance? I just don’t get it. I notice he been acting different lately.

{August 23, 2016}   Wants To Go To North Carolina

I was reading Father of The Years phone last night, he has been talking to his friend from home for a while now. She found him or he found her again online. They hadn’t talked in a while I guess her phone was broken. She sent him a messages saying she got a new phone. He told her the divorce was final that it had been for a little bit at that point. She asked how he was he said he was alright and that he been working staying busy helped. That it been a long time and he really needed to move on. He said he feels like he failed some how. Really you think, how about the year he knew their was problems and refused to do anything, the promise after promise he was going to fix things work on it and then go on like nothing was wrong and do nothing. Yes you failed no two ways about it, no sugar coating it, no way to change it. You not only failed, you failed to even try and the last ditch effort to go to counseling was an epic fail because you lied to them all.

she told him as long as he truly tried and felt he did everything he could he didn’t fail. He said there really is no changing her mind once it is made up. She was done she didn’t care anymore. She says no I’m a women and once we make our mind up there really isn’t no changing it. Well you know what maybe if you had tried before my mind was made up you could have changed it. Not doing anything made my mind up for me and why would I change it when you done showed you didn’t really care?

His brother sent an invitation to his wedding and a rsvp card in the mail months ago. It should have been back by now I am sure and it is still sitting over there on my counter. I don’t know why he brought it over here but he did. Then he marked on an was going to send it back in. I said something about taking the kids he was like well I don’t know blah blah about them wanting to go, them having fun, the little one and if he should go and things. Then said well I don’t know if I have enough money for all of us to go. If he didn’t spend it like water I am sure he could take them no problem and they all will be staying with his older brother so he don’t need money for a place to say and things. He started about why did I always have to start when he wanted to do something or planed to go somewhere. I said I didn’t start I said I just asked your not taking the kids? It’s a family event all the families and kids are going and your just going to go by yourself? He started with his I’m just a bitch and I go places and don’t take them and do things without them all the time. I said no I hardly ever walk out of this house alone to do anything and if I do it is when they have their time with you and you don’t even take them for that anymore. I said I do not get baby sitters and go out or drop to go out. If he has them for his weekend then there is nothing wrong if I want to go somewhere with friends or go do something on my own even. What do I get 4 days a month I don’t have them while he does. I said and when it is a family even we either all go or we all stay home. I don’t go oh well everyone in the family from all over are getting together for a family event see you when I get back and leave. I said I think it is wrong but hey if you have no problem with it that is fine. I will let them no that you didn’t not bring them because of me but because you didn’t want to. He got all mad. I said well you like to tell everyone I do this and that I am sure you will tell them that I would’t let you leave the state with them and bring them how you wanted to but the bitch would’t let you. I said you know I talk to your grandma and I am sure it will come up because she will want to know if everyone is going. He then put that he was taking the kids on the card and put it in the mail then later I found it on the counter again. I don’t know why he took it out. I seen last night he ask this girl if she would go to a wedding with him. She said she would but she didn’t have anyway to get there and things. He told her it was in NC not far from Virginia and that he would come pick her up. She said ok. I am thinking he don’t have money to take his own kids and had such a fit about it but he has money to go out of his way and go pick her up and take her home and probably pay for them a place to stay for a night or two why she is there. I am sure he will go get her as soon as he gets up there and not take her home until he has too. I don’t think he brother and wife are going to let her stay there and I am sure he isn’t going to want to stay there with her it would make it harder to get into her pants. But he has money for all this but it cost to much to take his own kids. To start with when this all came up he was going to fly up if he didn’t take the kids. I met he don’t take them and he goes by himself so he can go see this girl. He has even told the kids before this came up they were going after we talked about it. I finally told him I really don’t care if you take them or leave them it’s just the idea when all of your family brothers, cousins and all are getting together and bringing their families/kids and you leave your out says a lot. You just want rid of them blah blah. I said nope don’t matter to me if they are here or not I use to having them all the time, be just another day for us we will find something to go  do. I said they are use to it your family always excluded us when they did things anyway and found reasons not to come if we tried to have them over and do something when they were around. Just never thought it be their dad doing it but hey. Only you see it that way I said nope they are old enough when they ask where your going they know that they always have big family things and everyone goes when it is something like that.

Then he was telling her how he wanted to move and go up there around where his brothers are and get out of here but he didn’t know because he had the kids. He didn’t want them to feel like he just left them. So now I am wondering if he plans to just go up there and not come back. She told him just tell them he has to go and be able to take care of his self so he can take care of them. She asked if he could stay with one of his brothers or something for a month or two until he found a job and a place. He said yeah he probably could. She was asking him how he would get to see the kids and things if he went and if I would let him see them. He said he probably get them holidays and summer time. He told her I said I wasn’t going to be here in a few years that I was moving and taking the kids with me. That I just had to get my schooling done first so I could move.

Then he was telling her how he was staying with my mom and paying half the rent and he didn’t know what to do there because they can’t pay on their own. That he hated it there but he was kind of stuck there and it keeps my mom out of my house. How I hate my mom, I don’t hate my mom I just hate the way she does and the way she is about things. How my brother has nothing to do with her and my sister avoids her and has little to do with her. She was saying well just tell them your leaving you have to move on it isn’t your problem what they all do now. He didn’t tell her he had no where to go is why he went there. How he can’t make enough to get a place of his own and knows no one to rent a place with. How he stays at dead end jobs in stead of trying to get a better one or do away with the stuff on his background to better his chances at getting a better one. Just he is stuck there because they need help. He trying to look like the good guy oh she wouldn’t give me a chance wouldn’t change her mind I tried so hard she still divorced me and now she won’t even take care of her own mom or help her. So I do it so they aren’t stuck or homeless. I’m such a great guy he hasn’t seen her or talk to her in almost 12 years she has no clue what is going on or how he is. They were friends in high school before he moved here. He said he wanted to go to NC to be closer to his brothers and you when they were talking about it. I have a feeling he will end up going up to where she is if he leaves here. Her and her brother have a place together and I guess it is just them and her little boy. I bet that he ends up talking to her and going there. When he was talking about the wedding and how she would get there he said it isn’t that much farther from them to you. I can pick you up take you back. He is going to try and get with her and go there or talk her into letting him come there and staying until he finds a job and gets a place and trying to get with her when he gets there. If they go to this wedding he will probably try his ass off then. They were talking about something here and she was saying she like to come down for a week or two and see things here. He was telling her he wish she could and things. But that she didn’t want to move here it cost to much and things. That’s when he started telling her how he wanted to move up by his brothers and closer to her.

I seen where his mom text him they were talking. I don’t know why she brought it up but she asked him if we were finally divorced and he told her yes. She kept asking how he was and how he was taking it. She asked many times I was surprised because they never as how he is or care most of the time or just a how you doing whatever kind of thing. I am not sure how she knew we went and done it because they have known for a long time it had been filed and he stopped it but it never comes up. I don’t know if he told them on the phone or something before because he didn’t bring it up in any of the text she just ask out of the blue. Then she asked if his grandma knew he said no he hadn’t told her. She said they were going to probably see her labor day she just wanted to know so he didn’t say anything. That he probably wanted to tell her his self when they time was right. I thought when the time was right my ass everyone has known it isn’t a shock or surprise. But I think his grandma thought we were back together or trying to work it out for some reason I don’t know if he told her we were or because of us living in the same house for a while or what. I told her then that it was just until I could work things out on my own and she knew he had his own room. I guess that to her meant we were back together. I don’t know I really don’t care, I like her she is really nice and things but it is what it is and nothing no one says is going to change that. If it was going to be different he should have done different back when he had the chance. She told him if he wanted to come down for dinner that weekend he could and she should be there it be nice for everyone to get together. She didn’t say anything about the kids or ask how they were or if they wanted to come just him. I guess now that it is done and over they are going to decide to disown my kids and not have anything to do with them at all. That is fine with me my kids hardly know them hardly see them never really have in the time we have been together. I am sure they will be better of without learning their ways. life is better if you don’t judge people, look down on them and act like your better than everyone else. Lets face it they don’t need to learn to be an alcoholic like his dad or his mom because the last few times I seen her she seemed as if she was well on her way of joining him. I guess joining him was her way of handling the way things are between them since the counseling didn’t seem to work. Guess she figures joining rather than divorcing was better for her. To each their own I guess.

Oh my this girl he is talking to seems nice and all but she sounds so stupid. Just different things he has told me and I have seen her say on line and things. Then in their messages he was talking about all this stuff to do with work and hooking up electrical and things. She says I’m just going to act like I know what your talking about and go on. He says oh sorry and kind of explained it. She’s like no it’s ok I do that most the time in life just smile and act like I know what is going on gets me through most things and I get away with it. I was like wow. She didn’t say it like she was joking or anything all the stuff she was saying with it she really meant it.

I know your all probably thinking I shouldn’t have read his phone but he shouldn’t come over and just leave it laying around for any oh body to read. Gave it to Little Bitty to play with and she walked off and left it screaming some crazy stuff all through my house, he didn’t bother to turn it off so I did. I can’t help what I seen while doing it.

et cetera
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