{October 27, 2018}   Someone We are Looking For

I posted an add on craigslist again just to fill in or do odd jobs like I posted before. I posted it with in the last week but had not really heard anything from it. I had two messages from it earlier in the week but they seemed like scams and were not local numbers. I did not even reply to them.

Today I was sitting at work and received a message. It said hi so and so I am Dave and I just rseen your add on craigslist and you seem like someone we are looking for. We need someone to do x, y and z. I assume you have reliable transportation?

I looked and it was a local number. I responded back that yes I had transpertation. He asked when I was available?

In my add I put i could work full time, part time or just fill in. So I ask him what he was looking for out of the three.

He said Monday through Friday 9-5. Its not 40 hours but most places are not giving 40 it is only 5 hours shy of it with no nights or weekends. I ask him where he was located and what kind of business it was. He said they have a store and are moble that they do sharpening. I wasted no time I ask him when we could meet in person and talk? This would be perfect job as for days and hours. He said I can come in Monday at 1. I will be there with bells on.

It is between my job now and my house. I live in land, the job is on the “island” and I work on the beach. You go across the island to get to my job. This is a lot closer so less drive time and less wear and tear on my car. Closer if I have to get a ride or take the bus as well. It is 5.5 miles from home vs. 13 or 15 miles one way.

I forgot to ask for an address and he didn’t give one either. This evening when I got home I looked up the business on line and found it. I wasn’t sure. But then it seems to be the only one over there. It is open the days and hours he said and they offer moble service. It says it is veteran owned that they are closed weekends and holidays. Just makes it even better. It said they started out out of their house kind of thing I guess but had such an overwhelming response that they ended up opening this location.

I have no idea how to dress seeing the kind of business that it is. I have next to nothing that fits. Everything is really big on me now. We are having some cooler days, nothing crazy don’t need a jacket yet. But your not melting walking from your house to the truck. I hope it is that way Monday, I have a nice top that didn’t fit I found the other day. I think I will wear that and my dark jeans. I just need to find a pair of shoes. I feel a nice pair of jeans will not be over dressed seeing the kind of business it is. But a nice top will be better than a t shirt. I figure they probably wear jeans and a company t shirt or polo and sneakers. So a top and jeans will be okay.

I think I sent my resume to this guy before but never heard anything back. But now he seen my add on craigslist and messaged me. Maybe just the way it was presented. I didn’t put my resume on line just wrote up an add. Who knows, I am just glad to have the interview and hope to get it. The only thing I know nothing about is the pay, I am hoping for $10 but figure it is going to be less. I do not want to get less than I am now that is $9 but I would take it even if it was only minimum at $8.25 if it seems like something that would work out and be lasting long term. Because it is set hours and days with no nights, weekends or holidays and it is 5 miles closer to home. Less travel time way less gas and a lot closer if I have to get a ride or take the bus. Very close to the bus if I had to go that route.

I hate the idea of having to tell them at my job now that I am leaving. I just this week was given halfway decent hours, but still working all weekend every weekend in order to have decent hours. I work 9 to 5 Friday-Sunday and 2 to close on Thursday. It should stay close to that after these new people train but I may end up with another closing day. I like it here but the always wanting you to be able to come in at the drop of a hat and the condescending way your talked to and the manager in general and the way him and the owner are never on the same page you never know where you stand because they both expect different things when doing the same job. You have to see who is here who is coming in and make sure you are doing things they want hope they both aren’t here at the sametime. Its stressfull. One tells you to do something and you do then the other don’t like it or what then your blamed because you didn’t do it “right” it was right it just isn’t now because the other complained and instead of owning up its pushed off you didn’t listen, you don’t know what your doing, you messed up it will be taken care of you will be talked to or were talked to. It comes down to the boss don’t want to do wjat the owner says and how he dont but then the owner gets mad it is dropped on us. The owner dont want to be here he dont want to hire deal with training a new manager so it just goes on.

{July 20, 2018}   Two Jobs To Check On

I really want to get my truck going because I have two jobs to check on. One is a cashiering position at a diner. The lady said the one is open 4/5am to 2pm. That would be perfect because I could be at the other by 3. Make decent between the two.

The other is the car lot. I asked BFf tonight about it. She said go in tell the guy boss sent me and said he maybe looking for help. That is the one that is $400 a week and maybe a car to drive. I could do that and the one I have now too. I really would not have to work the one I am now but I would part time for a month or so until I saved a little up. Once I had at least a few $1000 saved I just do the car lot.

If I don’t end up at the lot and get the one at the diner, I will have to keep both. I really do not want to do that. I just want to do two until I get the money in savings oh and buy birthdays and Christmas. I will buy it early and be done. I was hoping to go check on them Monday but I don’t know if I will have my truck now.

{March 18, 2017}   72 Days Too Many

The last few days I have been thinking about the fact that Father of the Year and RC do nothing again. I am here 24/7/365 days a year doing everything and never get a break hardly or have to rely on when someone else can do it and can’t even pay them to do it. My friend Wanda I help a lot who watches them for me and helps me that is it. My friend J I have to pay to watch them. I understand their time and things as well. But it isn’t like I don’t help her and haven’t done a lot for her as well most without ever being asked. She says she will watch them but then never does or offers or can’t unless I am paying. My friend Wanda that I help will offer to come over and sit with the kids so I can get out. She will tell me see what your “friend” is doing I will come sit with the kids so you can get out for the night or whatever. If my friend is busy she is the only other one that goes out with me if I go so then I am sitting alone if she is at home babysitting for me to go out. That’s no fun, last time I paid J to sit with the kids so me and Wanda could go out. I go by myself but I don’t like to.

I feel like it is just another hoop to jump through to get to go out. I have to make sure the kids are feed and ready for bed and things before I go, I have to pick Wanda up and bring her to the house before I go and then by up bright and early with the kids the next morning and to take her home. Where if Father of the Year and RC were doing their parts I could just get ready, go out and enjoy myself. Not thinking the whole time are the kids okay, are the kids listening, do they need anything, I shouldn’t be out the kids are there, I should be with the kids, I have to be home before the kids get up, I have to get some sleep before the kids get up and the list can go on and on. I feel like I am on a time crunch to hurry do what I want to do and rush home. I know I am not and that the kids are fine and that I need to get out some and it is good to have a break but I can’t help but feel that way. Where as if the kids were with their fathers I wouldn’t have to worry about all that. I would know they were fine, I wouldn’t have to worry about being home in time for anything or what I need to do with them or any of that. I could have a kid free night/day and just relax. But we all know that is never going to happen.

Father of the year only has to be a father by law 72 days and a 104 hours give or take. He is supposed to have them other times too but that is not set just as we work out. But the number of days he is supposed to have them no matter what or how much I like it is every other weekend he is supposed to have them Friday after school until he drops them off at school Monday morning. Three whole nights!! Then he is allowed to pick them up one day a week every week for a few hours no set amount if you figure even 2 after school a week at the least. Just to see them spend some time with them. And he can’t do it, he can’t be a father 72 days out of 365 days in a year. How sad is that? But yet I am the one here every day no matter what doing it.

RC he don’t have any set days he has to be a father at all or anything set that he has to pay. I told him he could see her anytime he wanted as much as he wanted and just help me make sure she had what she needed when it came to helping take care of her. Because when he don’t have his problem he is great with his kids. He is all about spending time with them, taking them places, doing things they want to do, or just hanging out at home acting silly and being a kid with them and he makes sure they have what they need and tries to get them the things they want. I didn’t think I would have a problem with him doing what he was supposed to do. But that was before I knew about his problem and how bad it was getting and he decided to let it take over than get help. I tried to go get help to get him to at least pay his part but couldn’t because of the divorce. I have to go back now and see what I can do and how long it will take. Even if I can handle the things they need on my own they should get to do things they want to do and that right now I just don’t have the extra for.

It isn’t even the money that bothers me so much as the fact that they are never here for their kids. They don’t care enough to make an effort to see them and be a part of their life. I just don’t get how they can be that way. How they can not care at all or not care enough to think about how it is affecting them now and how it will affect the in the long run. It bothers me because I am here doing it all and can’t have a break once in a while no matter how hard I am working and doing what I am supposed to do while they are all off doing whatever they want enjoying life without a care in the world or a thought about anything or anyone but them and their needs and wants.

I know I know I have said this same stuff a 100’x before probably and bitched about it on here but that is just where I am again today. No pill or anything else is going to take the fact that I am the only one here every day doing it and that I never get a real break away. It isn’t going to take the fact that I have no life or the fact that like I said in my other post I haven’t felt loved or cared about in 5 years away. It isn’t going to change anything it isn’t going to let me have these things so it seems like what is the point in taking it. Just so I can kind of feel happy or better? I still have all these thoughts and feelings inside. It just makes me able to fake it to others a little better.

et cetera
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