Single___Parent___Life











{September 11, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.9…..Not Happy

If you have been following my Covid Encounters you know we have had over half the office staff test positive for Covid. We have had the office shut down for the last few weeks.

Then I went in Tuesday and the new girl was back and the new book keeping lady. Both tested positive. I’m not thrilled it wasn’t what we were told but I guess if she got a negative okay.

I didn’t go yesterday Wednesday because I was up all night sick and went some places to try and get help with my gallbladder. Today I go in they are there. About 10 or 11 she says she is calling about her test results. I’m thinking what results? She comes in and say’s they told her it could take 6 weeks. Then she says something about being surprised the owner let her come back without a negative. I was pissed. I started to say something and I didn’t. I didn’t want to start shit.

After they all left the HR lady and me were the only ones there. I went in and ask her. She said yeah she had no say and questioned it to. She said but they had her look up the CDC and what they said about when people could come back. That is what they are going by. It says after 10 days if not sick.



{September 9, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt.8

I don’t know how to feel or what to think. I pull up to work yesterday and there are a lot of cars in the lot. I was thinking driver’s parking in our lot since it isn’t being used. I pulled up to park and notice that one is the new girl’s van. Then I see the new accounting ladies car. I go in and they of course are both there. Then I notice another person there. The office floater I call him. He is the go between for the office and drivers and helps here and there. They later said the guy I worked with on the night shift was going to be coming back in.

All 4 of them are ones who tested positive in the first round of test. Just over two weeks ago. They say they all have been tested and have negative test now. But I still kind of feel they should be home in case seeing as the test contradict each other so much. Two test in one day same person one says yes one says no. If this is going to put people out of work for weeks at a time then they should not be bringing people back who we know have had it right away. They are working from home. They have already said the 2 of us who have been there are most important in being in the office. That they were not going to put us at risk. My old boss from dispatch has said he don’t want his guys all back in there. He said like 3 one day 3 another rotating so they are spaced out and everyone isn’t exposed to everyone. That way if someone came up positive only those 3 would have to test and stay home. They have to stay in their area and use the back door so they are not in contact with us. We can email or call back and forth if we need to.

Further more the one’s who were negative all along were going to be the first to come back a few a week. Then the rest a few a week. Some who wanted to strictly work from home could. There are a few and that would cut down on things too.

So pulling in seeing all that I wasn’t real happy. I don’t know maybe I am wrong for thinking they should be last to come back. But no one knows no real way to handle this or even to know if they had it at all. Who’s to say the one’s of us who tested negative test was wrong. But I feel if they were we wouldn’t have 2 or more that say no and none that said yes. Some who’s test showed they had it never felt sick. Other’s had colds and that was it. So in that case why do we need to wait 14 day’s from a positive test before we can test again? Why can’t we go whenever and get tested and be allowed to come back as long as it is negative?

I just don’t know I am just over all this. I want them to go back to life as normal and move on with life.



{September 9, 2020}   Missing Work and Looking For Help

I went to work yesterday and worked most the day. I left about an hour and half early. I was starting to hurt. Later in the day and the way I sit because of my chair and desk are puts a lot of pressure on my right side. I have to think about it and sit straight up to keep it from doing that. You know how hard that is when you are working on something and trying to be comfortable too. You aren’t thinking don’t slouch sit up straight.

Yesterday at the store I was getting stuff for dinner. I was looking for stuff I could eat, stuff to use with what we have at the house and quicker easier to make since I have been sick and he don’t get home until after 7. This way I am not standing moving so much and he isn’t making a big meal so late if he has to do it.

I picked up stuffing and gravy to go with chicken we have. Taco stuff and spaghetti to use with ground meat we have. Walking along I seen a can of backed beans. I thought I haven’t had those in awhile they look good. So I bought them and hotdogs.

Well by time I was done shopping getting it home and put away it was time to get him. We got home I told him what I got he said why not make the beans and hotdogs? It’s quick and easy and I haven’t had that in awhile. I cut up some hotdogs dumped them and the beans in the pot and heated it up. Dinner was done. Great relax, shower watch some tv and go to bed. Nice simple night. Wrong, not long after we went to bed the pain hit me and would not go away. Instead of coming and going in waves it came to stay again. I woke up drenched in sweat again and hurting horribly.

I had taken aleave for my tooth when I laid down. I did not know if I could take it and the pain pill they gave me together. The aleave wasn’t helping. I tossed and turned. Turned around laid at the foot of the bed to have more room and lay different. Nothing helped. I finally went to the couch to sit. The dog was on it and didn’t want to move off the blanket. He wasn’t happy. He finally moved enough for me to get the blanket from behind him let me have that. I reclined the other side and tried to sleep. I couldn’t find a good way to sit or lay. I had no clue what time it was at this point. I forgot my phone in the bedroom i wasn’t going to get it. I finally drifted off a few times and slept a little. Before long I heard the trash truck. That is the last thing I remember. I guess I finally fell a sleep for a bit. Next thing I knew JW was waking me up wanting to know why I was on the couch and how long I had been there. I laid back down in bed for about an hour. I was still hurting when I got up.

I dropped him off and decided to go see if I can get someone to help me get this taken out. I went to the one place and they said they were just general doctors. They couldn’t do surgery and things. That they were really short doctors because they lost a bunch over covid. They can’t even take new people. I left and went to the health place I was going to in 2018. I decided to go to the one closer to work. This way I could leave work and be there in 10 minutes. The one i go to is on the other end of the county. I was almost to it and work because of where I had to go for the other place anyway. So I got there and just didn’t feel like it was where I should go. I have heard okay things and bad things for their adult care. I like their after hours for kids. That is all I knew. I decided to go to mine where I liked the doctor’s and things.

I make the drive to find they moved. They are now further north by about 5 miles. I get there it is in a horrible area. I pull in and looking for it. I see 4 or more cops in front of a place. I look sure enough they are in front of where I need to go have someone with their stuff strung everywhere. I wasn’t looking around me and it just didn’t seem like a good place. I decided to leave and go to the one between them and my house. Where I take the kids for dental work. It is newer, nicer area and building. They have everything in one office. They have doctor, dental, kids and mental health all right there. You check in go to the waiting area and they come to get you for whatever you are there for that day. I liked that too. The over all office staff is a lot nicer as well. I don’t know the doctors I hope I like them.

I think I can get in there early before work too. I am thinking about getting set up with the mental health side as well and seeing them to get back on my meds. If I can go there before work and not have to miss.

I messaged work told them I had a bad night was up sick I was going to be late. I am going to message tell them i have to meet these people for help I’m not coming. It is to late to go at this point and I did meet with these people so it isn’t lying. I can not afford to miss. I have missed a week between them telling us to take off, now being sick and the holiday. I was going to work half day for the holiday and this past Saturday until I got sick. That made me miss Friday, Saturday and the holiday. Now today. They say I can make it all up we will see I guess. I am going to talk to them about that tomorrow and Friday. Try to work saturday. I am going to try to work all day normal day Saturday. Because I have to take time off Monday.

I went to the place they gave me all the paperwork and everything. But the soonest I can see the doctor to get the ball rolling to get this out is Monday. So a while if or when something will really be done and who knows how long that will take. Then off to get it done and time for recovery. Hope they do it friday back to work by Tuesday.



As I said in my last post JW’s aunt called why we were having lunch and ask us to dinner. She is. Down staying with his other aunt for a few days. So we went over to see them. I had never met them before. I only really know his mom and brother. I met his dad once or twice when we were younger but he wasn’t around much when we were growing up.

Tonight was two of his aunts one’s son and his girlfriend that was there. They were all really nice. It was a really nice night. We sat and talked while we waited for dinner to finish. After dinner we went out and watched the rocket launch. Sat and talked for a little bit longer and now we are home. They were all really nice and welcoming.

I am tired and wore out. It sucks because we haven’t done anything for me to feel this way. But I have drove about 150 miles today. The aggregation of running around wasting time for something that they didn’t have when we were debating where to go and decided to go there just because of the car show since they don’t have it all the time. Oh well. He is watching Black Panther and relaxing. I’m really not interested in it. I think I will go take a relaxing shower, fold the clothes make the bed and go to bed. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I worked Saturday to make up time we missed during the week. Took me 6 days to get 39.5 hours. I should of had 44. I had done 4 hours last Friday to make up for the day we missed the week before. Half day at over time would be more than i would of made had it been a normal 8 hour day. But then we missed Tuesday this week i had to work this Saturday and have them put it on this check to just touch 40. Hope we don’t miss any more.



{August 25, 2020}   Covid Encounters Pt. 4

As the world turns so do the covid encounters and the positive test that come with them. Monday there were only 8 of us there. I received a phone call a few times and didn’t answer. Number was one I seen but the area code seemed like it was a scam call. I was there to pick JW up at work and it called again. I didn’t answer. Then I got a text that said who it was. I called back. It was the HR lady from work. She was on her cell not the work phone. I guess I hadn’t saved her personal cell in my phone. It not says work I didn’t know.

She said she had to let me know that there was another positive test and it was someone who was there with us today. That the owner wanted up to go be tested again. We could work until 12 today but had to be out by then. They are coming to clean the office again. She said if I wanted to come in early and work til 12 that was fine. I told her I would be there by 7. That would give me 5 hours. She said okay.

In a little bit she called back and said the owner changed his mind felt it was better to not have anyone back in the office u til it was cleaned again just on case. That he was trying go work out a plan to get most everyone out of the office and working from home. So there would only be me the other lady in billing and maybe the two HR people. The two HR people are in the two back corners of the building so not near us or each other really. They could come and go out the back door we could use the front door. Only time we may see them is if we had to go to the bathroom 3 of us would have to share the one. Or if we had to go to the kitchen.

The only one’s that would be close to each other would be me and the other lady in billing. We sit close enough to touch each other. But she sits behind me and faces the wall. Don’t know how much that really matters. But so far we are one of the few who haven’t caught it. They may split us up there would be room to move me to another room for a bit. She has been really careful to not get it and clean. More than anyone there really. I honestly not worried about working with her so close. I am not really worried about catching it. I am just worried about missing work.

So we are up to 8 cases out of 17 people in the office. I am about to call the HR lady to see what the plan is from here. I don’t know what the point of cleaning the office and bringing everyone back tomorrow without having their test back. Anyone of us could come up positive now. No one yet has been sick or had a fever or anything.



I went to work today and only 6 of us showed up. The two HR people or like people, two dispatchers, me and the other lady in billing. New girl showed up got the money for the test and never came back even though she tested negative. I am not sure why she came took the money for the test if she wasn’t coming in because she should have her others back by Monday. The owner and our boss were questioning it as well and she may not be reimburse for it since she didn’t come in today. That was the deal he would pay so we could work today and this weekend. We don’t work weekend but they ask us to if they did this. To get work caught up and let us make up hours.

The accountants didn’t come either. The one that is our “boss”already told the other lady training us in billing he wasn’t he was taking a long weekend. But the new one would be in. She gets there at 7 and wasn’t there when I got there at 930. Then he called me around 11 or so and told me both of their rapid test came back positive. So they can’t come in until they get a negative. He had not received his test from Wednesday but she had. Wednesday’s test for her said negative but the rapid test from yesterday or this morning said positive. So she has to get a 3rd one now that isn’t rapid and wait for it to come back negative. If it don’t then she has to wait and get another one until it comes back negative. He is supposed to do the same and he say’s he is just waiting for his other from Wednesday to come back. HR said no that isn’t how it works once a positive shows up your negative test has to be done after that.

Like me and the other lady in billing were talking he is doing 2 of 3 other things on the side all around people going in their homes and things. If he has it then it is probably from that not the guy at work who got it because he is not around him. They next to never come into contact with each other. And it makes since that him and the new accounting lady’s test are the only other positive so far. Because they are closed up in this little office together a couple feet from each other. They can have the door open but they have it closed a lot and even with it open it is still close and pretty closed off. Cluttered and not real circulation.

If they had gotten it from the other guy then seems that the two guys that sit right next to him in his office and the one who rode around in the car with him all the time would have it. Or even one of us from billing we are in talking to him about work stuff all the time.

Now I guess our exposer time frame just went from last Friday to two days ago Wednesday. Because we had no idea these two had it and we were all around them Wednesday. Hoping that no one else test comes back positive out of this round we should be done with this and in the “clear” for exposer from this incident by the first. We all have to go be retested around the end of the month again. Knock on wood we all come out good can be done with this and not have to deal with it again.

I have to call tomorrow and get my results from my first test they haven’t called me yet. I think I’m fine but hey so did the first one who tested positive and the other 2.



Yesterday I got to work a half hour early because I was making up hours I was going to miss today. As I was pulling into the parking space my phone started ringing it popped up as work. I thought it was very odd because no one ever uses the work phones to call each other. We always use our cells. I wasn’t due in for another half hour. No one knew I was coming early. I thought oh boy here we go something has happened and now I am going to lose this job. I started not to answer just go in but I wanted to know what to expect before walking in the door and being hit with something. I wanted to be prepared how to handle whatever it was.

I answered it was our HR lady. She said she was asked to call everyone she wanted to call me first she knows I would be in soon and have kids. She said we have our first covid case and it is here in the office with us. She said he hasn’t been to work since Friday and he isn’t sick. He had a sore throat that is it. We thought from dental work but, he tested positive. I told her I was in the parking lot I was coming in. She said they were cleaning the office and from what they were being told felt it was safe. I said yes I did too. She said we just don’t know about others in the office if they have it. Anyone of us could have it. I said but we have all already been exposed.

I went and clocked in and everyone was in a buzz. Trying to clean and find testing places, try to find out prices, times, if you had to make an appointment or walk in/drive up or what. I found a walk in that did the test for free. I decided to go there they decided to go to the one at the local school in the next town over. I didn’t want to drive up sit in my car for who knows how long and I wanted to talk to a medical person. The people they have doing the swabs in the drive up ones are who ever they hire off the street to do it. They pay them $35 an hour pay their room and food. So they can not answer anymore questions than what we already know really or what they are told to tell us.

I told them when I got there what I was there for and that I had direct contact with someone who tested positive. I figured they would want to put me right back into a room or have me wait outside or something. Nope had me fill out paperwork left me sitting in the waiting room. As if it was no big deal. Why when I went to get my eye’s checked you have to wait in your car and they don’t let more than a few people in at once.

They finally took me back the nurse or tech did the nose swab and said the PA would come check me and answer questions. She looked at in my eyes throat and listen to my lungs and heart.

I asked her about all this and how blown up and scare tactics it really was?

She looked at me. I said I know it is real I am not disputing that. I said but I don’t think it is as bad as they are making it out to be. I said they tell you only how many people tested positive not how many had no symptoms, how many are recovering how many aren’t getting deathly ill. They just tell you this many died, these hospitals have full ICU bed. I said they don’t tell you why the icu beds are full. How many are covid how many are other reasons? I said years ago my dad was in icu a week beds were full. Covid wasn’t around they all had different things wrong.

She said you are right everything you are saying. She said she works at a local hospital they have 5 icu units most people don’t know that. That when they say all beds are full that could be one unit or is most times. That if they have 6 trauma people come in one is full. I said I feel they are not saying most people who are getting deathly ill or passing are people with underlying issues. She said yes true. She said not that I haven’t treated 30 or 40 year olds who were other wise healthy that got very ill or who passed. I said I am sure you have but that is like anything a healthy 20 something could get the flu and pass or a infection of some kind that most get over and pass. That is just how it is a fluke thing. She said yes. She finally said I really hate to say it from a medical stand point and field but they have put a lot of fear or scare out there to get people to comply.

I left and went back to work. Only a few showed back up after their test. I got there about 12 by 4 they were telling us to go home. Not to come back until we have negative test results. So we all left.

Of course when I told them at home that I have been exposed the Bitch freaked out. I can’t come home blah blah bullshit. I said fine I will go stay with Bff then. She is tested every so often anyway because she works at the assisted living. They have had it at the nursing home across the street and workers going back and forth. So she has been too. I came and stayed at JW house for the night. I told her it take 3 to 7 days for results.

This morning while I was in the middle of writing this they sent a group text saying X places have the rapid test for $150. Insurance don’t pay for it. The HR lady ask me in a private text if I was going we had been talking. I told her I lost a job in March been down to one job since. I could not put out $150 for it. The days we are missing we can make up once we go back so i am not missing money there. She said she understood. They really don’t want us working 2 jobs right now because of it either. We are exposing our self more and in turn risk exposing them as well.

In bit the owner sent a message in the group chat saying he would reimburse anyone who went and got the rapid test and that they had people coming in cleaning the office and no one is to come back until they have a negative test. I messaged her private again ask her if he was and what clinics they found that had the test? The ones by me said they no longer had them and was not getting more and their other clinics didn’t and wouldn’t either because they cost so much and insurance wasn’t paying. She gave me the numbers and I called the one that was closer to me to make sure. They said yes. I went straight there and got it. It came back negative but there is still 20% + chance it could be wrong.

I left there and went by JW job work called like yesterday morning. I answered it was the HR lady. She said her and the other hr kind of guy would be there about 25 more minutes or in in the morning. She said owner said we could get tested and be paid back as soon as we got in office in am or they could give us a tch and we could cash it and go get the test if we could not pay upfront and wait. I said I seen his message and went ready I just got back. She said what did it say? I said negative of course. She said good good see you in the morning then? I said yes. She said take a snip of the transaction on your account print it we will get your money in the morning. I know you are worried about taking care of them babies. I said they gave me a payment amount on my paper. She said oh great they didn’t mine.

So I get to go back tomorrow and Saturday. I did not tell them at home yet I’m not tonight. I may tomorrow. I don’t know yet. I get home go to my room and sit for the night she has them so scared to be around me they don’t come in there like they use to. It isn’t healthy why i want to get her out or us moved. The way she is is not good for them to be around. But with me working she is there more than me they listen to what she says when I’m not there. If I decide to go home I will tell them tomorrow we got rapid tested. If not i will wait until Monday tell her I got my other results or we went for the fast test. I figure she is going to want to wait until the other test since there is chance for the fast test to be wrong. Not that the other can’t either but who knows. My luck my other will come back say yes this one says no. I am interested to see if that happens with anyone since most of us have had both test now or a group of us has. To see what happens then.



{June 6, 2020}   Another Horrible Thursday

Why does everything happen on Thursday? Maybe I should skip Thursday from now on.

Me and J.W had a talk finally. It wasn’t a good time but it just happen, I couldn’t really help it. I went over and was laying there. He was back and forth between being awake and a sleep. Normally I will sleep an hour or so once I get there. I just could not get comfortable I guess you could say. I just kept thinking about what is going on and a small conversation we had a few hours before. I finally got up went sat on the couch. I covered up with a sheet he had out there was sitting there doing stuff on my phone. I knew it wasn’t the right time to say something and I just couldn’t lay there next to him anymore and not.

He came out there wanted to know what was wrong. I said I was thinking or something. He wanted to know why I came out there. He got a little aggravated I didn’t say anything. Finally I said something. A lot was said it is hard to remember everything that was. It happen so fast we had to get to work and things. We left 30 minutes late even because I wasn’t leaving in the middle once it was started.

He said I was acting this way because we didn’t have sex in the morning? That he just wasn’t into it or had to get ready or what. I said no its we hardly at all and then maybe every 5th time I enjoy it kind of. Any other you jump up in the middle go on. Your done that’s it everyone is if not to bad.

He started no I don’t what do you mean stop in the middle? Then looks at me and says story of my life I can never please you. Wow that went through me. I said what really you can never please me? Fine don’t worry about it if that is how you feel. Maybe us isn’t a good idea after all if that is how you feel. I didn’t know I was so hard to please and keep happy.

No no that isn’t how I meant it. We been together what 5 or six months now I’m just not use to things they are different than what I am use to. I said so what is wrong if I am doing something wrong tell me. I had already ask him to start with if i did something or said something or if this was because of what I told him. He kept saying no nothing was wrong I hadn’t done anything he was happy with me. So I said what are you not use to? Because I didn’t know I was doing anything. He said the way you treat me. I’m not use to it. I said what do you mean I don’t treat you no way. How do I treat you? He said good, really good okay. I’m not use to it i have dealt with a drunk for the last 8 years who treated me like crap didn’t care about me. Sex was alright get off me leave me alone.

We kind of went in circles and I finally got up to leave. I didn’t want to be late he already was. We got to work he said have a good day, see you later. I said yeah a good day I guess so. He said again why you going to be that way? Nothings wrong. Something about sex in the morning. He said bye got out.

I messaged him said how out of this whole conversation do you get that what is wrong is you don’t want to have sex in the morning? And that there is nothing wrong?

How are you aggravated with me because I’m not happy? Then turn around and tell me story of your life you can never make me happy. Like I bitch or complain all the time.

He said he wasn’t aggregated then said wow you are going to be like that.

I said what you said it not me. One thing one thing ever I am unhappy say something about that is what you say to me.

I told him I feel like there is this huge hole in our relationship. That I am so happy with us otherwise. That I wasn’t trying to attack him or make him feel bad. I have never dealt with this before I am the best I can. I told him I love him care about him. Our relationship. That if I didn’t i wouldn’t of said anything I would of just walked away.

He finally replied and said he loves me and cares about me. How sorry he was for making me feel this way.

I told him

I know sometimes you can’t or things happen once we start. Like we talked about the other day. You say you don’t know or why what’s wrong. I feel like you think that is what I am upset about or mad about maybe why your so upset with me over the way I feel. But I promise you that isn’t the issue or why I am mad at all. I understand. That i just want to figure things out so we can both be happy.

Because he still never brought it up. But I also got the feeling that is what he thinks I am really upset about. It isn’t easy for him to talk about it.

He said he knew and he wanted to too. He told me again he loved me.

We talked a little more after work when I picked him up. We sat there on the couch talked about different things. That some. I was getting ready to go said something about making a vet appointment for the dog and a doctor’s appointment for Little Bitty.

He said yeah I need to find a doctor and something about getting his arm checked out. Then he said go get everything checked out. See what is going on. He pulled me over to him.

I got in the truck it was starting to rain. He said man I was so worried about you this morning after you dropped me off and left for work. He said it was raining bad. You were so upset. He said I was glad when you said you were at work.

I do think he is happy and that he really does care. I think this is just a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people and then him to have the other issue makes it worse. No one wants to hear there are issues.

I think I know where the story of my life can never please you or what thing came from. I thought of it later. His ex wife cheated on him. He came home from work sick and caught them. He worked over nights. Then he told me this last on cheated on him with other guys and women. Drank and was nasty on top of it. All his friends talk about how she is and was and why he stayed so long.

I don’t know what happen between him and the two of them other than that. He don’t talk about it. But i am guessing if they both cheated this is probably why. I don’t know what lead to that if they talked about there being an issue, fought about it or how it was handled. If it was maybe they just cheated. I could see the last one being nasty about it. I don’t know his ex wife to have any idea how or if it came up what was said or done. Before she cheated. I mean he in his 40 now its not easy to talk about i can imagine how it was with his ex in his 20 30 to have issues. I can see him getting defensive and bothered by it. I honestly didn’t think about them cheating on him and things. How things may have been handled in the past.

But i don’t want to cheat and I don’t want it to be an issue between us. This is why I brought it up. But I am sure it brought more than just us up. But I was surprised when he said he needed to go to the doctor and get everything checked out and taken care of. I think like he said I do treat him good and he knows I care about him. I am not just trying to fight or nit picking over things. Yesterday Friday when I was there before work we were laying there talking and things.  He said I want to make you happy in all areas of our relationship. Not just some. He was sorry about the last few days and things.

Like he said I think our situation right now makes things a little harder as well. I agree with that to a point. I think things changing will help but I don’t think it’s going to make it 100% better. I think it is going to be something we have to work at and it is going to be an on going conversation and work. But I think it is something he will be more open to. He see’s I do care and I’m not wanting to fight or just walk away. That I understand and care.

I feel a lot better since we talked.



{May 9, 2020}   A New Position

I started this post weeks ago and never finished or posted it. I have worked on it a few times and up to all most 3000 words. Now that I have time to sit down on my lap top and really work on it I am going to start over and shrink it down some or at least clean it up a lot. Because a lot of it was written on the fly and when I was tired.

Right before or right when everything started to turn toward shutting down I was over at JW’s house after work on March 17th. I was kind of worried we may shut down because I had called around to the Salons and things that day and they all said they were closing or cutting hours or wasn’t sure what was going to happen because of this Covid19 mess. They would get back with us once everything settled down. I figured we would be open the next few weeks until after the first of March to see what was going to happen but wasn’t sure if things didn’t pick up by then or if they ordered a shut down what we would do.

I told JW I needed to talk to him about something he said okay. That night after I got there we were laying on the bed talking. He wanted to know what I needed to talk to him about. I told him that I didn’t know what was going to happen with all this going on. But that if I lost my job or jobs or got shut down and could not work and it caused me to lose my house I was not starting over here. I told him if I lost my job I didn’t know if I would be able to keep going with just the one or be able to find something that would work around what I was doing or what. But that if it came down to me losing my house because of it I was leaving. I would not stay here and start over for any reason. I told him I didn’t plan this and that I had decided to stay here and give us a chance since we got together. But that that would be three times in 8 years that me and my kids had ended up homeless and that I wasn’t starting over here again to end up that way again in a few years or so again.

I didn’t know what I expected him to say but wasn’t ready for what he said for sure. He said I’ll go with you. Where ever you want to go or you go. I want to go with you.

I asked him what he said because I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Like I said I didn’t know what to expect and don’t really know what I wanted him to say. I just wanted him to know before something happen so it wasn’t out of no where and unexpected if it happen. I even told him I figured we would be fine that wasn’t going to happen we would hold out the next few weeks and surely things would go back to normal. We might have a ruff patch but come out okay. I was an odd feeling when he said he was going to go with me. I don’t know how to explain it. I was happy but confused I don’t know why I felt the way I did but I did.

He said he understood and did not blame me at all if that happen and I moved. He said he didn’t want to lose me either. That he loved me and knew I needed to do what was best for the kids. He knew how high things are around here and how hard it is to just stay a float and how hard it would be for us to ever find anything around here if I did lose my place because of how much things have went up over the last 6 years since I got into the house I am in.

In a minute my phone went off, we both thought it was probably the kids wanting to know when I was going to be off and headed home or wanting me to pick something up on my way home. It was after 10 they know I get off between 10 and midnight. I looked and I guess the look on my face when I read it said a lot, because he said what? What is wrong? what happen?

I didn’t know what to say and couldn’t even say anything. I just turned the phone toward him so he could see it better and let him read it. He said oh no, I am so sorry honey. I said I had no idea I thought at least a few more weeks and really never expected this.

It was my one boss saying with no one needing us right now they were going to have to cut back for now. They were going to file for help and see how things went. That the best thing I could do right now was stay home take care of the kids and keep everyone safe. They would let me know as soon as things straightened out.

That was Tuesday night. Wednesday I went to my night job because we were still working there at that point. Shortly after I got there the owner came out sat down and talked to me. He was asking because he heard my kids were sick and things. I assured him everything was fine, they all had been to the doctor and tested positive for the flu and that they were not worried about it being anything else. That it had been a few weeks and everyone was over it. He said okay.

He went back in his office and then called me in there to talk to me. I was thinking great now he is going to tell me they are cutting back, shutting down or that he don’t need me for now they are worried about what the kids had or what. I got up and went in there.

I walked in and sat down. He started telling me that every year he gives a bounce that it wasn’t really based on anything other than how long you had been with the company. He said it is $200 a year for every year you are there. He said you have been here for a while now and close enough to a year you can get yours and for the full $200 for the first year.

I thanked him and told him I had hit my year that day actually. He said really and looked at the computer. He said how about that it is today. We talked some more.

I had found out he had two positions open slightly before this. But that is when I blew my car up. So I hadn’t talk to him about it because I wanted to make sure that I had a way to work and that I was going to be able to keep working down there. Some how that all came up. I think maybe I asked him and he said he had filled them.

He said he didn’t know I would be interested in more hours or what because he knew I had another job. I said yes but that I had been waiting to talk to him because of the issue with my car but that I had a vehicle now that I was not worried about that anymore.

He said if there is a position or something that you want or need come talk to me. He said I am sure that we can work something out. He said I wish I hadn’t just hired those two new people. He said we could of worked it out. I told him the news I got from my day job the night before that if he had hours to fill in the meantime I would do them. That I could be there days or nights or both. He said oh your not working your day job right now? He said the one new girl isn’t starting for a few weeks because of this covid mess. He said if you want to come in and help out in the office they could sure use it. They have been short three people for a while now. I said that would be great. He said come in two to ten. That way they have extra help and you can still do your night hours too. I told him that would be fine.

I did that for a few days and then the accounts guy told me he wanted me to come in earlier. I told him that I had my night stuff to do as well but that Thursday I could come early because they wouldn’t need me and that we leave early that day any way. He said okay.

I thought he talked to the owner or what about it. He didn’t. I went in and was there before him. The owner came by and asked why I was there so early and said something about my night hours and things. I told him I thought him and the accountant had talked about it and okay-ed it. He said no he knew nothing about it. I said they needed me early for training or something. At night on Thursday’s are slow I talked to M the guy I work with at night he agreed I really wouldn’t be missed or needed it would be okay. That the accountant was supposed to get the okay from him. I would of talked to him had I known he didn’t.

Later the accountant go there the owner had words with him. He said he wants you here two to ten. He was mad blah blah. I said that is fine. He said we really want and need you here earlier. I said yeah I know. I said but I can work on things at night from over here like I did before. Because I had helped over there in the evenings with credit cards and things.

Later the guy M I work with at night came in and he sits right against the owners office door. Everyone else had left I was working on somethings. I had walked over to the dispatch room for something and they were talking. My name came up and I heard it. I walked over into the owners office and stood there with them why they were talking. He was talking to M about me working the day hours and not being there that night and how he didn’t know but I had said we talked about it and things. M said yeah really we are not busy because we don’t have trucks rolling out and it has been slow here at night she has been leaving early already. It isn’t more than one person can handle right now. He said honestly if they need her and she wants to do more hours in the day or all of them it wouldn’t be an issue because I have it here at night.

See the owner had already told M a few days or week before that it was slow no point in me sitting around there doing nothing to tell me I could go home early if I wanted to. I had been. I was working enough hours to know I could pay everything that needed to be paid and give me spending money and that was it. Not that I didn’t need the money, but at the same time I knew what was going on and felt it was the right thing to do. Plus it gave me time to spend with JW and see how things were going to go there.

So the owner said okay then that was fine if I wanted to start coming in during the day whatever hours me and the others agreed upon would be find. He said we would get together and talk in two weeks and see where we all stood. As for the shut down, the new girl starting, if they still needed extra help once she did and if M needed me back at night or not.

So that is where we left things back in March.



{March 30, 2020}   Here and Healthy

I haven’t been on in awhile, with all that is going on with this virus and everything closing things have been crazy. 3 out of 4 kids ended up with the flu. Not sure how me and Mr.9 did not get it (knock on wood) but I am happy we haven’t. Everyone who had it is over it now and going stir crazy.

We are under some kind of stay home order, I don’t really know the details. I have to go to work and am the only one who drives and able to get us stuff so life is pretty much normal for me. We haven’t been going out on the weekends. Everything is closed as for entertainment. People are still going fishing, to the beach, boating and other outdoor things.

I go to work shop once a week and go see my boyfriend after work and before I go if I have time. We get lunch or dinner and go to the little store. Everything to eat is take out nothing is open to eat in. We get it take it to work or back to his place.

The kids are getting set up to start school on line come Monday. That should be loads of fun with a 1st grader. I think Mr. 9 should be okay. They have packets they could pick up and do but I already did this. If it don’t work i am just going to tell them we need to change things. They say schools are going to go back the 15th of next month. I don’t believe it. I think if they were they would of just sent some packets home not set this whole online thing up. Not for what 15 days or less. Why go through all that trouble for a few days? I don’t know depending how things work out they may just start homeschooling with the older two. Little Bitty can’t wait to start hers online tomorrow. She wants to keep doing hers at home. I just may if my job works out.



et cetera
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