{May 10, 2019}   The Wrong Parts

I think we left off with the guy put the part on my truck and then never did bleed the breaks and I have been trying to find someone to do it. He said he couldn’t get them to bleed and had to get a scanner and things. But then never came back or returned my messages. I was mad to say the least.

Well Yesterday someone finally had time to help me and go take a look at it. Pops and his twin brother and his brothers friend went and looked at it. The brother told the friend what to do and he done it because the brother just had stints put in his heart a week ago. Pops don’t know about that kind of thing. He went because he knew where my house is and me.

They were gone for a while and I was starting to wonder if something was wrong because it seemed like they should of been back. I decided to wait another 20 or 30 minutes then call if they hadn’t come back. In a few minutes they showed up. They said they were still not right and that they bled them 3 times all the way around and still couldn’t get them to feel like they should but it was stopping. Then they said the front tire was flat or low on air. They said I could drive it to the shop around the corner and get them to put air in it for me if I didn’t leave it sit for to much longer.

When someone else got here at the shop I had them stay here while pops ran me to my truck. He followed me to the shop to get air and it wasn’t stopping good at all. It would go right to the floor and I would have to pump and pump it to get it to stop. I asked the guy at the shop what would cause that since we changed that and bled them all those times. He said the master cylinder. I asked him how much it would cost for him to do it and how soon he could get it done. If he could get it done by 5. He said he could have the part with in 35/45 minutes of ordering it and then could put it on quick. He had a car he was working on he had to get done but it wasn’t a rush and it wouldn’t take long. That was at 2 something and before 4:30 he called and said he had it done. I told him I would be there a little after 5 to pick it up he said he would be there.

I asked him something about it and he said I needed to drive it and feel the peddle and see how it felt to me. I said does it stop or is it stopping? He said yes but I needed to drive it and see how it felt to me. That was a red flag to me. I said okay.

I had to borrow the money from my boss to even pay the guy to get it out of the shop I don’t have money to throw away on this truck right now. I told Pops what he said and that I didn’t like the sounds of that. If it was right he should say it stops great no problems. I said if I get there and it isn’t fixed I am not paying him for it. He said this might get nasty. I said it might but I am not paying him for fixing my truck and he didn’t now I have to pay someone else I already paid someone to fix it.

We left work a little early and went over there since pops son came in and said he was going to close. We got there and it was sitting there. The guy that worked on it wasn’t there. They said he went up the street he would be right back. I said I am going to go start it and see how it feels. He said take it up the street or around the block if you want. I took it out of there and as soon as I got in it I could tell it wasn’t right. I got on the side street there and started and it was going right to the floor not stopping. I turned around went back and told him it’s not fixed. He said let me adjust this I didn’t do that and it could be out so he did. He drove it it stopped but he pumped and pumped them to before he started driving it. He came back it was still soft going to the floor.

We started talking and something was said he said I’m not going to charge you for it. We went on talking he said I see your ABS light is on your pump is probably going out or not working right. I said no that has been on for a long time and I have never had problems until that part on the tire went out the other day and we replaced it and we bleed them and bleed them and can’t get it to stop. He said I did too I don’t know it has to be the ABS. I said okay then how can we tell because I have to have this truck up and going I can’t be stuck anymore like this. What is it going to cost to take care of it. I figure I have the money from the other repair that didn’t fix it I could use that to get the pump and fix it. He said let me scan it and see. He scanned and scanned it and after a while and a bunch of scans later he said no your right it isn’t your ABS pump it is working fine. I said so what is it why isn’t it working? He said you have a lot of air in your lines for some reason and you are going to have to just keep bleeding them and get it out he said I can’t find anything else wrong with it. I have scanned it you have the two new parts it is all you can do. He said gravity bleed them for about and hour that will force all the air out and then you may have to bleed them normally once you put the fluid back in. I said okay and I asked him again what I owed him since he scanned it for me and everything too. Because most places want $40/$60 to scan one and most want more. But when he scanned it he also seen that what he was telling me was wrong wasn’t and that I was right. He said I didn’t fix your problem you don’t owe me anything. He said I can’t charge you and send you out with the same problem you had when you came in. He said I just have to eat that.

I called Special K I was so upset and stressed I asked him if there was anyway he could please help me bleed the breaks and try to figure out what was wrong with it? I messaged work and told them that I had to get my truck fixed I just got it out of the shop it still wasn’t fixed I had someone to help me but they needed help and I had to find out what was wrong why I had help or I wouldn’t have again and would be messing a lot more work. I am sure they were not happy but I can’t help it. I had to get it fixed.

Special K said he was on his way home that I would probably beat him there and that we needed stuff at the store. I told him I was going to get to his house with it and park it then we could run and get what we needed. I took the back roads once I got over the bridge into the island to get to his house since there was less traffic. He got there before me but I don’t think it was to much before me. We went and got the stuff to bleed the breaks and break flood. He showed me how to set it up so you could do it by yourself and to make it easy so you aren’t losing break flood all over once it starts coming out. He said something about having to get under the truck and do something why he did something else. I said okay. He said no wait he said I can do that you are going to get inside and pump. He said one person can do it but it is easier if there are two.

Let me tell you if you want a leg workout like no other bleed your breaks over and over. But he did the front two then the back and was having trouble with the one back one then did the other side. He came back to the other back one and was going back and forth. He said we are going to do these for a bit and work on them because the other two are good but these two aren’t. He said I have seen it where for whatever reason you get an air bubble or a few and you have to just keep doing them and doing them over and over to get them out. We worked on them for an hour really probably close to two hours. He got under the side that the other guy just fixed on Monday the reason we are doing all this and he says I just notice something. Isn’t your bleeder screw or whatever he called it supposed to be on the top? I said I don’t know I haven’t been under there. He said the other three are but this one is on the bottom. I said then yes I would say it is probably supposed to be on top. Why would they just make one different. He started looking it up on his phone I pulled mine out and started looking it up.

What I found said that air goes to the top naturally and so the bleeder screw or whatever is on the top so that when you open it the air goes out. Once the air is out then it fills with more fluid and you start getting fluid once it is out and you close it. I said yep it is, he said yeah what I am seeing too and it makes since. I said so you can’t bleed it because it isn’t letting the air out on that side.

I said lets take it off and take it back and get a new one. Well that parts store closes at some crazy time. They keep like banker hours or something. The rest around us don’t close until 9 or later. I said okay fine I will go buy a new one and just make them give me my money back for this one tomorrow. We can get the new one on tonight I can have my truck. My friend is like girl your killing me here, we are losing day light quick now too. It was already after 8. I didn’t know it. Then I thought about it too I said I can’t do that because they have this big core charge for that and I don’t have an old one to take them because this one has to go back and they got my old one.

I called the guy who did it Monday and said look you put the wrong part on you need to come and get it, take it back and put the right one on because of this and it getting dark I can’t do it tonight like I thought. He said okay so we will see if he does it like he says he is going to. He told me 8:30 then messaged and said that they wouldn’t have the part until 11 so he would get it and put it on and take the old one back. I don’t now if he is really going to do it or not because why wouldn’t he get the wrong one and take it back first? They aren’t going to let him take a new one without paying for it. I am not paying again he can take the wrong one back and trade it. If he don’t want to and they want money he can pay them for it go get his back when he is done. I messaged him a bit ago and gave him the address where the truck is and how to get here. I had my friend follow me and we went the back road and dropped it off at my job instead of trying to get across two towns and the bridge back to my house.

I can not believe the shop, or pop’s brother and his friend did not notice that it was the wrong one and upside down, nor the guy that put it on. It took my friend that long to figure out what the problem was. But I can because like I told them, bleeding the breaks is so easy and something you just get under there and do without really thinking about it. You just do it, you figure it is all in right as far as fitting and bolted up there your not thinking it is mounted wrong or this is in the wrong place or it is upside down. Your just thinking okay I do this, this and this and it should be done and working. I can’t complain to much. But the guy who put it on should of been paying closer attention to if it was right or not. So two wrong parts lets hope the third time is really a charm and it goes together and bleeds effortlessly like it should of the first time.

{April 26, 2019}   The Thrill of The Hunt

While writing another post I had the thought, why do we always want what we can’t have or what doesn’t want us? Why do we feel the way we do about people and why do we have feelings for people that aren’t good for us, but not the same feelings for the ones that want us or are better for us? Why don’t we see it at the time? We take so long to before it hits us that wow that one is no good and this one we pushed away was probably what we have been looking for all along for years and now we pushed them away.

It hit me it isn’t really about the person so much as it is about the hunt or the catch is probably better word. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it is finding that one and then trying to catch it. If they play hard to get or what just makes it that much more intrigued or want it more because you think you know them think you have them figured out. All while you know this isn’t good this isn’t right and they do this or that and make you made you then make excuses for them. They are just scared, they are just not sure yet, they are just waiting for……the list goes on and on. Then once you catch them or something happens and changes your mind about them you will keep pursuing it knowing that it probably isn’t going to last or there are going to be problems. But that is okay with you. Because your so messed up you see this you wanted it and your not taking no for an answer and your so messed up that you know it isn’t going to last but that is okay because you don’t go into it expecting it to last. But you are still trying because you are to scared to get into something with someone that may have a chance of going somewhere because you are scared of getting hurt again like you did with the last relationship where you really let someone in and they killed  you by leaving.

With someone you already know or someone who is interested it isn’t the same, the thrill of the hunt isn’t there the trying to catch them is gone. The Adventure  of it all and getting to know them isn’t there. I have always been one that the chemistry and feelings before getting with someone are a lot stronger than after and after it is a just oh well now what and okay how long will this last or what is going to happen? If it works out it works out, if it don’t, it don’t no big deal. Not that I didn’t care for them or have feelings for them, it’s just different.

The only one that I really felt different about was RC. I felt a lot different and even though I had the feeling something was going to happen, I let him in, in a way that I hadn’t anyone else and tried to push the something happening thoughts out and ignored them.

Since him I have not been that close to anyone else. I had feeling for others but not like RC. As I said in other post I have been pushing the wrong one away and going after the ones I should be pushing away. Am I trying to fix something that happen in the past with one of these or just keeping up enough of that wall to hopefully keep from getting hurt again? Since I know it probably won’t last, but that’s what I’m hoping to fox and get them to stay like I couldn’t with RC? Like Sleeping Beauty wanting another kid so he can be in this one’s life? Are we all just looking for that one person that we can fix all our past mistakes with? Instead of the one who is right for us?

Last night my mom wanted to take a ride to his job and see if he was still there and talk to him. We got there about 930/945 because we didn’t know if he would be working a 8 or 10 hour night. He would be off by 10 if it was only 8. She wanted to go today but we weren’t sure if he was working because if they work 10 hours days he wouldn’t work again until Monday evening but working 8 hour nights he work Friday and Saturday too. We went ahead and went last night to see. We got there there his truck was sitting there. I thought it was odd windows were cracked. I pulled up behind it so he could’t pull out. We got out there was a guy with tools putting them in a truck we asked if he was there he took us right inside here he was coming down the hall pushing his little cart. As soon as he seen us she started freaking out what are you doing here get out leave you have to leave. I was telling him I needed the money he owed me and that the lights were going to go off this morning if I didn’t pay them. He got right on the phone and ran the other way and hid. He called the police. We were trying to see where he went because she wanted to ask him if he had all he wanted from her house so she could throw it all away. The other guy was back inside he started saying we had to leave. She asked him to ask him let us know we were leaving. As we were leaving we ran into him in the hall we asked him he was yelling at us leave just leave she asked him again he said yes he had all his stuff out of there and that he didn’t want anything else. I was telling him the kids were asking for him they were in the truck and wanted to see him. He said he didn’t care just to leave. We went out she got in the truck they were telling me to look in his truck I said nothing in there. The kids were saying no something or someone was in there. I couldn’t hear them the windows were up. I finally walked over and looked in the driver door because I was right there on that side. Sure as shit she is laying up in his truck sleeping. Well acting like it the kids said soon as we walked inside she started looking for something they think she picked up the phone. I think he must have called her before he called the police to see if she was out there or knew we were there. I was beating on the window telling her to get out she wouldn’t she just lay there looking at me. He was at the door of the school holding the door so it couldn’t be opened with him inside watching me beating on the window of his truck telling her to get out. He didn’t bother to come out side and try to tell me to leave her alone or get away from his truck nothing. I finally just left as I was pulling away the police had pulled up and was getting out. They stopped me and ask what was going on I told her I just came there to try to talk to him when he got off work let him know what was going on that he started yelling and screaming at me as soon as he seen us and called them we had done nothing. They took my id and everything came back said not to come back there or go looking for him I was going to be the one to end up in trouble not him blah blah. I said that is fine I don’t plan to, thought maybe we could talk like adults and he would at least say something to his kids that are sitting in the truck 2 feet from him calling him wanting to know why he won’t call or come over like he told them he would. But I guess it just shows everyone and them what kind of person he really is and that he really don’t care about anyone but him self. She said because it was domestic there would be a report made that if I needed it I could come down and pick it up.
Who know what all he said in it and how many lies he told them because he was talking to them a long time, a lot longer than they talked to us before and after we were done talking to them. He was still standing there with them when we left talking to them. The officer said no one was in trouble no one had said any one done anything to anyone or anything like that so I am not worried about it. They have my name and address and everything if they need me they can come talk to me. Because the guy that works with him was there and the kids everyone knows no one did anything to anyone. If he wants to try that crap.

I talked to her ex again and said she was asking him about me again. She asked if he told me he had my keys? He told her yes I was getting them this weekend. She said oh no bullshit there or something like that. He said what between me and her no we are straight why would there be? He said he told him then she thought they were straight too. He said me and you no we are far from straight or ever being straight I just trying to be an adult about everything get your stuff out of my house so I don’t have to deal with or talk to you ever again you have burnt this bridge to many times basically is what he told her. They have known each other since they were 14 he has always helped her out he has been her safe place to run all her life when shit hits the fan with whatever guy of the night/week she is with when it don’t work. He told her he is done not just because of how she went about leaving but the fact of what she done to the kids and the jam she left us in. He loves me kids he always has, we had made plans to all get together they were going to come over him the kids were going to cook dinner for me and Wanda and all of us watch a move. My kids like him as well and they had been talking about cooking and different things. They decided to get together and do that, he has never had kids of his own and his siblings and their kids live out of state and grown or whatever. But this is how close we all were, he came over before when she was watching the kids to hangout watch tv with them and do whatever. He is the one when I was joking with Wanda before about having my kids if something happen my Big Guy said so he will be our new daddy? When we said you have a daddy he said oh yeah I forgot. So the way him and her are doing the kids now after being so close her saying they are like family and things he is done.

He even said today if you jerked her out of the car and stomped her ass last night I wouldn’t blame you I want to watch or see a video because it is about time she got what she has coming. He said but don’t go do something like that again and take them. He said he has that report now and shows you brought the kids and that isn’t good for you if he goes to court. I said I know but I didn’t expect that to happen. I really just figured he see the kids talk to them tell me go to hell he wasn’t giving me anything and we would go on. I said I figured I try that slim chance he may be a man and say okay I will call pay the lights in the morning when my check goes in. But he was a scared whipped puppy and yelled and called the police. He said I just don’t want to see him use it against you and you lose the kids. He said I could careless what you do to either one of them and you have every right too after what they have done. But the kids do not need to be with them and will not be happy with them. He told them he still like together and cook and watch a movie maybe one night he would come over give me a break let me go out for a little bit they could make dinner and watch a movie.

My other friend that I use to talk to and hang out with all the time came home why I was there and she walked over and was talking to us. She was talking about how she got a hold of her and wanted her to be okay with it and things. She said she told her no it wasn’t right this was very wrong and what she did was not forgive-able that you do not do that kind of thing. She said she had tried to get a hold of another friend of theirs as well the other night why father of the year was at work and he wasn’t talking to her either. I don’t know about him if he is or not but they figure she is just trying to make peace with someone so that she has somewhere to go and this time she has burnt her bridges. She told her but how was she supposed to ignore her feelings? He was her soul mate, they were meant for each other. She said I have seen how he is I have seen how he did her, I have seen the abuse first hand, I have seen how unstable he really is, said she told her but she was different, he wouldn’t do that to her, it wasn’t like that with her he wouldn’t ever treat her that way. She said okay it is always different with the next one until he snaps on them, it is always going to be different, he has always changed when the new one comes along. That is what ever abuser says, they say it was her fault she did this and that to cause it too but you are going to see and he just may hurt you. She said something about the kids and Wanda told her oh the kids loved her they were like family they like her and they wouldn’t be a problem. She said yeah that was before you and him ran off and did all this shit and done them and their mom the way you are leaving them to fight and struggle. She said her kids are not stupid kids, they are very smart and understand way more than you think and they are not going to be like family and like you after all this. Said she said oh your taking her side after all she said about you and said she was going to do? She said yes I am because regardless of anything else wrong is wrong and what you did is wrong, it’s very wrong and I am seeing now that a lot of it was just lies from you. She said her problem is she is sick no one ever puts her in her places calls her out or whatever they all try to help her protect her or what over look the crap she does. She said I had a lot then just was done with her and then this happen and I am seeing and finding out a lot that was lies.

She also told me that she has messages saying that she told her she was just using me to get food and the things she needed, that she wasn’t really friends with me and things. She said then you were here all the time going places doing things every time I seen you two together you were always laughing and things. She said now she did you this way and you aren’t forgiving her, you aren’t over looking it, you are standing up to her and now others are too and she has no where to turn and she is scared. I said well you know I am not going to back down I don’t care who it is I will stand up to them with no problem or thought of ever backing down. She said lord I know that you wanted to go beat on RC’s door at 9 at night when you were pregnant and I wouldn’t let you. I said yes I did I would have too if you had stopped the car. I said I don’t care I would have done it, she said I know she has met her match I feel sorry for her because she is on her own with this and what she done because it was so wrong.

I am a little ticked off about my mid term I took for my basic counseling skills class the week before last. We just now got them back because one girl didn’t show up to take hers so we had to wait until she took it before he would grade them and let us see them. I don’t understand his thinking either because he grades it gives it back so we can look at it then takes them again. Not just test but all our papers. Seems odd but whatever.

Anyway it was a 50 question mid term and worth 100 points. I get mine back and it says 92 and it is crossed out and says 94. I figured that was because he skipped a question and forgot to add the points for that one in to make it 100. I glance over the first page and see I got number one wrong. I looked at the answer and was like oh okay yeah got that wrong why did I pick that answer, I did’t read the question or look at all the marks on it. I went on flipping through the rest to see what others I missed. He was asking if anyone had questions if they wanted him to go over all of it or what. They decided to go over all of it. I was looking through because something seemed off about my grade. I was trying to make sure he hadn’t marked any wrong that were right as he went through them and figure out if my grade really was off and why. Then one girl stopped him on one and was asking him about it. It was one I had gotten wrong as well and we had put the same answer she was asking why it was marked wrong. So they went back and forth over it and me and her were the only ones that spoke up and said anything. Because I said yes I got that wrong to and reading it felt this was the right answer for the same reason. They went back and forth over it and he pulled up some notes and things.

In the mean time I figured out that he had went back and marked number one right because he had messed up when he was grading them but figured it out before he handed it back. After I had read it I was about to question him about it until I figured out what he had done.

They were still on the other question and why it was right or wrong, when I got done figuring out my papers. The question was…………..

What are ways to show empathy when in a session with a client?

A) there are many different channels or ways

B) warm vocal tones, vocal pitch, tacking

C) some off the wall answer that made no since

D) another answer that you knew was wrong even if you had never taken the class.


Well we have been learning about the 3 V’s and B and the BLS in class and this is what he has drilled in us pretty much from day one. The three V’s and B are Visual, Vocal, Verbal and body language. There are other ways to show empathy and these are not to just show empathy but this is the spring board we were using. Plus there are other ways to show it, but this what we have talked about in class. To me it seem like a trick question since it didn’t have all three V’s and the B listed. They wanted you to think it was B but the answer was really A. Since B was not a complete answer I put A figuring that if I put B and got it wrong that was what he was going to say it isn’t a complete answer there for it would be A because……. The other girl who questioned him about it had looked at it the same way and answered A as well.

Well he tells us nope the best answer for that question is B and that he wasn’t asking about the three V’s plus B just what are ways to show empathy. But the answer kind of lead into that. He said he was going to look at his notes he had at home for that question but he didn’t think he would be giving us anymore points we were just wrong and B is the best answer. He will let us know Monday when we go back in. After class I was talking with a few other girls in the calls and I ask them what they got for that question as well and they said the same thing me and the other girl said and put B. Mind you there are only 9 people in this class and that is 4 out of 9 of us that I know for a fact that put B. I think the girl sitting in front of me said she had too but not 100% sure because I was looking over my paper at the time. I am not sure how many others also put A but I am thinking probably most if 4 of us had. So it ticks me off that the half the class or almost half the class that I know of interpreted the question one way and he is looking at it another then to me the question wasn’t clear enough in what it was asking. He even said yeah technically we were right too because there are many ways but says his answer was the best out of the 4 so it is right even though it was kind of half and answer compared to what we have been learning in class. I feel if that many of us got it wrong and we picked the other “right” answer we should get credit for it. Who is to say that A is the best the best comes down to a matter of opinion when there is two answers that can be right. Just because he thinks his answer is the best we felt ours was the best since the other was not complete. If he is saying they are both right then he should have to give anyone who picked A or B credit. Not like we picked C or D that are in left field and have nothing to do with what we are talking about and trying to get him to give us credit. We would have nothing to stand on to even explain why we should get credit but when he says both are right and most the class felt it was this we should all get credit if we picked A or B. I know it is only two points but that two points could mean the difference between a C and, an A or a B and A at the end of the term. To say you can’t have them two points and have that letter grade higher because you didn’t pick the right, right answer just don’t seem right to me.

I don’t know why this is bothering me so much I guess maybe just because I’m still not in a very good mood and haven’t been for a few days now or what. Most times I probably just said screw it and forgot it but for some reason I am a little ticked off about it. I guess too probably the common they are both right but.

{October 28, 2016}   Baby Killer

Disclaimer: This is nothing to do with who you are or are not voting for, why you are voting for them or anything like that. It is not about if you are for or against abortion even. I really do not care what your views are on either of the subjects.

This is about a teacher of a class of 5 and 6 year old’s talking to kids about things that she has no business bring up to kids in a class at school and not to kids this age at all.


I pick my 6 year old up at school and as I am helping him buckle in the truck he says to me…. My teacher said that voting Third Party is the same as voting for the lady who say says (and he whispers at this point) it’s ok for mommies to kill their babies and she is evil.

I ask him what all did she tell him about trump and what he says or does. He said nothing just that he is the one to vote for.

Now if you are going to talk about the election that is fine, if you are going to talk about how one picks what party to vote for or not to vote for that is great. But if this is the case then why not tell them about both and bring up that their is a third party?

Then tonight he comes in and tells me, mommy I am just going to vote for Trump since he is the good guy. I said honey you can’t vote your to little. He said we are going to have a vote in class. Now I want to know what is this voting is for? Why has she only told them about one party and what they are for and not both? What happens of the kids do not vote for Trump since this is the only person she is pushing? Why hasn’t she told them any of the things Trump is for that some may not like as she did with Hillary? If you want to tell them what each is for or against you can leave some things out or change them it isn’t real election and the kids are not going to know the difference but still get the point this is how we pick who we want to vote for and things.

Killing babies should not be brought up to kids this small. Anyone who has kids knows how kids can get fixed on something and how this could to turn bad. Add to that, my son already has anxiety over death and don’r fully understand it.

{September 22, 2016}   Blind Disaster

I have three windows in my living room all side by side making it one large window to cover when it comes to blinds. I have about a dozen windows in this house and none of them came with blinds, so when I moved in I had to go cheap and I got the little $5 blinds and put up on the ones I got blinds form. Mostly the living room, bedrooms and bathrooms. The back room we never use and it still has whatever hanging over them and the kitchen I got curtains because they were cheaper.

I am sure you have had your go around with cheap blinds and know how they are and how they look over all. I have to say two are doing pretty well after almost three years, but the other on this window was looking pretty ruff. It is the side that is not covered by the couch and the dogs and kids go to and look out all the time. Of course it is going to look ruff. I wanted to get the ones that have the wood or fake wood nicer wide slats that do not twist and mess up so easy when I got my money but I have been paying bills and getting the kids things they need and just haven’t been able to get them. Well the other day me and a friend went to the thrift stores and I seen three in a corner by checkout. I asked the lady how much they were and she said $5 each and then she told me there was another in the back. I went to look there were three more. I knew they were bigger than what I have up there but it looked like two would cover it instead of using three. I bought all 5 figuring I could put one in the girls room and maybe in the boys rooms as well. I could maybe hang one over these french doors in the back. I have no idea why they put french doors up instead of a sliding door or a normal door or no door. There is another door that goes outside out of that room as well. But if that door wasn’t there you could’t get to the back yard from inside the house. But then why the door on the other end of the room? Who knows but that is besides the point. I figured I could sell them for $5 with no problem if I couldn’t use them. I have one in my room that is messed up I could replace too. But 5 for that price when I could use them was great.

I bought them three days ago. I asked farther of the year to come over for a hour or less and hang them that night. He had an excuse, I asked him to come after work and hang them yesterday and he had an excuse. It was he could come today but I knew he wouldn’t it will be whenever he gets to it and probably never. I figured he is supposed to come get the kids or see them anyway he could stick them up there I wouldn’t have to pay someone. He said he had told the kids he would. We had been talking about them and was talking about putting them up they said their dad could do it. I told them I get someone or do it they said he can he put them up and has a drill blah blah. They asked him when he came over.

Well yesterday I got agervated and I had to go to the store anyway so I went and bought a drill, drill bits and a tape measure. I got home and reliased that I had gotten the wrong bits. I knew the ones I needed and had them in my hand and got the others. I went to my friends house down the street and asked her husband to borrow the ones I needed and he gave me a box full. Well I kept thinking something was still missing but couldn’t figure out what. I knew something just didn’t seem right. I went to put the bits in and they would not fit. They were way to small. I called my other friend and was talking to her and her husband and they were just no help. He uses this stuff all the day he works on cars and machines for a living. They kept saying everything was there. I sent them a picture of what I had but they could’t figure out why the bits weren’t working. I took down some of the old brackets down by hand then got really aggervated because I have this drill and it should take a few minutes. I called another friend and ask him. He says did you turn the chuck? I was like what? He said did you turn the end of the drill to make it bigger or smaller to hold the bits? Guess what it worked. That was what I was missing, because I swear my grandpa’s drill had a thing you had to put on it then put the bit in and turn to make it work. Maybe I am wrong it has been forever since I used it but I don’t think it worked like mine. I am sure it did’t because I remember him talking about the different chucks or losing the chuck. Any way I get it to work and then it would only take out some of the screws because it is’t a clear shot to them you have to reach through the bracket and it won’t fit in some of them an others if has to be started with a screwdriver before it will reach it at all then finished with a screwdriver so no point in using the drill.

I finally get the 6 brackets and three hangers from the old blinds down and get ready to put up the new brackets. I tried to put the first one up the holes don’t match from the old one so I need new ones and the holes in the new brackets are way bigger than the screw heads. No problem it has holes on the side I can screw it into the side of the window frame and it will work the same way and be easier because I can get to it easier and it isn’t over my head like the rest win all around it should be in in less than 5 minutes. WRONG, I start the first hole and get it started take the drill and try to finish it off and it gets half way in and stops. It will not come out and it is not going in any farther. I am drilling the hell out of it and it isn’t moving. I reach up and touch it and burn the shit out of my fingers, it felt like I grabbed a hot brander or something. I am shocked I do not have blisters today.

I move on and decide to start on the other side. I can figure out how to get it out later or cut it off and get it out of the way. I go to hang the first bracket and one hole lines up but the other don’t. I take the bracket and drill another hole so that it lines up with the holes already there. It goes up pretty easy. I go to put the second one up and I get two holes for it and finally get it up. All by hand because the drill it useless with these brackets. I get to the third and there are no holes because there wasn’t a bracket there before. I drill out the first hole it works. I go not even a inch from it and try to drill out a hole and it will not go in past the tip of the screw. I do it by hand I use the drill I try everything it is not working. Ok find I will modify the bracket and move the hole no big deal. I did it to the first and it is up and doing good only took a few minutes. I take it outside and sit down on the porch and drill the hell out of it for ever and nothing is happening. There is a tiny spot that is it. I drill some more and nothing. I figure out the drill is on wrong so I turn it the other way and try to drill it again. This time no sooner than I touched the bracket the bit flew through it threw the bracket and kicked almost drilling my leg and breaking my bit that I need if I need to drill anymore out to get them to work. But that one is done lets just get it in. Nope it won’t go in. Finally the third bracket is up all I need to do is get the screw out of the wall and put the last one up. It has only been two or three hours to get the right tools fight the old ones down and the new ones up. This shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes since I have to get the screw out of the wall and I think I know how to make the bigger holes work with the screws I have. I have my oldest help me pick the blind up to get it into the bracket so I can mark off where to put the last bracket so it will work. The fucking blind is sticking over the edge of the wall!!!!

I don’t know what I did wrong how I screwed up that much because I measured the blinds and the window before I started. I made sure they would both work there. The first bracket is all the way against the wall so there is not gap or room taken up. I guess it is the size of the brackets or I was off some how on the measurements. I had the kids helping me hold everything and mark everything because I am working over my head trying to hold this stuff in place and get it right on the marks. I was so mad I just left it all and we went to bed. The couch is still pulled from the widow the blinds are still laying all over in the living room including behind the couch where we left it when it wouldn’t work. Everyone who looks at my house can look all through and see from the living room straight through the dining room and where we all are most the time. They see our computers, tv, guns everything. It was so much for me to try and put the old brackets up and the old blinds after I went through all that to get them up there and spend hours.

I went to bed and just cried my back and neck were hurting so bad from standing there reaching up over my head all that time to do all that holding the drill up there to do what needed to be done and then all the turning and turning by hand to get everything in and out. I got up this morning to take the kids to school my hands, wrist and arms hurt I could hardly drive. They hurt just to turn grip the steering wheel and drive then my neck and back it hurts to turn around to see behind and around me. My arms hurt from my hands half way to my elbow. I hate being this way I use to do all this kind of stuff and anything I wanted and not hurt. Since I was in that accident about 7 or 8 years ago that messed me up it sucks. It kills me to do it but I still do it because it needs to be done and I hate to ask anyone and don’t really have anyone to ask.

My friend kept saying why didn’t I ask her husband to come do it. Her husband works 12 to 15 hour days and they were leaving for a trip at 3 am this morning. He worked yesterday before they left. I wasn’t going to ask him to drive all the way over here to put these up for me. My other fried I was talking to he works and then has his wife and 4 kids to go take care of. I asked earlier if there was anyone who wanted to come help me for an hour or so today. One person asked doing what and when I said I heard nothing back. I am not sure how much of a help he would really be either or how much he knows about doing that kind of thing. But even I can’t do that or not something just no response.

I don’t know what I am going to do now I am sitting here watching everyone watch my as they go by. I guess I need to get off of here and figure out how to fix this mess and get some blinds up there. Putting the old ones back up is not an option at this point. I know that these will work if I had the help to get everything up in place and marked out better and holes to go in.

Right now I think I will go eat because I just thought the kids ate dinner why I was doing this and I never ate anything last night and haven’t yet today. I was to tired upset and hurting to even think about eating or anything else.

et cetera
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