{October 24, 2019}   I Almost Cried

Yesterday after the awards at the school I left and I went and paid the water bill and the internet bill. I paid them both down to $0. I still have the light bill to pay on next week but when I do it will also be paid down to $0 balance.  The water bill was late the light bill will be on time. On time and paid in full!

I know that probably don’t sound like a lot to you all or your saying yeah so lots of people do that all the time or what. But for me that is a big deal and to know that I did it on my own, without having to borrow, or use my tax money, or money I got from here or there it huge.

In the last 7 years me and the kids were homeless two years in a row for Christmas. We got into this place March of 2014. Although we have had a place it has been a struggle to keep it and keep bills paid. Much less other things we need. I have worked two and three jobs at a time and just staying a step ahead from sinking. Get a step or so ahead or think I was and get knocked back down.

I don’t think I have had a $0 balance on my bills since I started services there 4.5 years ago. Other than if I got my tax money and was able to pay them up and then they were up there again in a month or two because I wan’t making enough to pay them off each month. I would shuffle money around to keep things going. Final notices got paid and everything else got shuffled until the magic letter came in the mail. Then I would have to borrow to get keep them going at times or we would do without other things or scrape by.

I was so happy and excited I almost cried when I paid the water bill it showed a $0 balance. It is so discouraging to pay it have them hand you the receipt and it have a balance on it over $100 and you just handed them $200 or more.

Needless to say my excitement quickly faded when I got to work and oldest messaged me and said oh did you get the note that was on the door yesterday?

I had no idea what she was talking about she sent me a picture it is a three day notice to pay or get out. I owe them $400 for “repairs” Because I have to pay $75 every time they have to send someone out. 99% of the time it is for the plumbing that they have been told over and over has a busted pipe. But they will not pay someone to check it out. They say I have to do that. I don’t have the money. So when it won’t drain at all I have to do something I call them they send their man he cleans the line and it drains for a bit and we do it over. If I have the money i pay it and when I don’t it sits there. Rent is paid on time every month has been for a while because it is the one thing I have no play with when it gets paid why everything else gets shuffled around. They can’t put me out over anything other than rent but they I guess took my rent money and put it on my fee’s so it shows I am behind on my rent. Since I paid by their card not a check or money order there isn’t much I can do about it. If I pay by check or money order and write for rent they can’t use it for anything else. Since it is on the card they can do what they want because it isn’t marked. But I have always done it like that and if it was paid on the first they just took it as rent. I have been paying $75, $25 a $100 extra a month but I don’t have it all I talked to them and that was fine because I gave them a chunk upfront. But then I had to call them since and they have a hair in their ass about something they did this and didn’t even say they were changing things up or nothing just come stick a note on the door. Now i am trying to figure out how to pay it before TOMORROW. If I had known I could of probably waited to pay those bills had a chunk of it now I paid them I don’t have any of it. If I get paid tomorrow that is food money and lights. I was going to ask my boss at my night job but he is out of town until Tuesday so that don’t help. I can probably get by until Monday but after that I will be in Trouble they will be back Monday if I don’t pay it that morning. Then it will cost more they add fee every time they have to come out there or what. I don’t know what I am going to do. Even if I worked doing pizza’s this weekend I won’t make near that much. I don’t know who else to ask to borrow it.

I am probably going to have to pawn my guns and then I am going to be in that cycle that I can’t get out of for a while end up costing me a ton of money in the end. I was feeling so good and so accomplished. That I was making progress, real progress I was going to have all the bills paid up and then be able to pay that $400 up. But it was costing me more to not pay the bills up first vs paying the rent up and I had made arrangments and was making payments. I was going to start paying extra to pay it up faster since I had bills paid up and wasn’t paying so much on them and late fee’s. I will work it out but I don’t know how and it feel knocked down and defeated again and like all my work was for nothing if I can’t come up with this last little $400.

{February 27, 2019}   Six and a Half Years

Last night me and Bff were talking about Sleeping Beauty and somethings he is doing. I said I don’t know if I am over reacting because of things I dealt with in the past or if I should really say something and be mad.

I said it has been 6.5 years since I was in a relationship. It hit me how long it has really been. I knew it been a while but it seems like a few or not that long ago. But now really putting a number on it wow. Now I feel more lost than I did.

{March 21, 2017}   Ticket Troubles

On top of all the other paperwork and things that got over looked, sat aside or just forgotten about while being sick my ticket from the accident I had on the field trip didn’t get paid. I got a letter in the mail over the weekend saying my licesnse will be suspended April 5th if I do not pay it and turn in paperwork. I finally got a minute to call today because I had some questions about it all. After 15 minutes of holding I finally got to have a two minute conversation with the lady.

My paper says I need to get paperwork showing the ticket is paid and take it to the dmv. I can’t drive to god knows where in this other county to pay this ticket right now and get that paper. I know there is a place here in my county to pay it but how then do I get the paper, I also wanted to know if I could still take the school and get the points off my license or if it was to late.

She said that I can pay the ticket tell them I want to go to school they will give me more time to do the class. She said once I pay the ticket with in 48 hours they contact the DMV and let them know it was paid. She said this put three points on my licese and that they will stay for 3 years. Lot better than I thought, I thought it was more points and that they stayed for 5 or 6 years. I think they use to stay a lot longer than three years. If I take the class and get them off then I think that the ones from the first accident will come off this year or next I have to look into it and see. I am not sure how many that put on them either just that I got some. I ask the lady she said I have to call the DMV to find out how many points I have on there right now and when they will come off. I figure that will be another 30 minute phone call or more with only talking to someone for two. I have to look schools up see how much that is going to cost in addition to the ticket and the late fee they gave me. I hope I can take it all on line and not have to worry about it to much and that it isn’t going to cost an arm and leg to take. I also have to call the insurance company and see if I take the class and get the points off my licence if my rates will go down or not. I just hate all the holding and waiting to talk to someone for two minutes or less. It drives me crazy. I am going to look on the app or on line and see if it says but I don’t think it is going to I will probably have to call. I guess I should go and do that but it is so hard when all I want to do is take a nap. Maybe I will be back later who knows, for now I am off to adult and get things done.

et cetera
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