{April 23, 2015}   Trying Not to Be A Bitch, But

You know I filed my divorce and all I asked for was that we not bounce the kids around back and forth every few days and he pay his child support. I could have asked for a lot more. Even the judge when we were in court said he wanted me to get a lawyer and come back because I could be getting a lot more than I was. I just wanted the divorce done and to move on with my life. I knew he wasn’t making a lot and it would be a strain and not leave him money to do anything with the kids when they were with him and things. It’s not what I am trying to do. He complained about the $355 they were making him give me. It didn’t even cover cost of daycare for our youngest in a month much less lights, food, water, gas, wear and tear on a car, doctors, sports, childcare for the older two. But it was to much.

I could have asked that he get life insurance, health insurance, dental and vision, and alimony. I know that health insurance alone would take two of his checks maybe more in a month. I have no clue what alimony would cost him. Life insurance isn’t that much but I figured he would get that on his own anyway. But then again if he dose that goes to whoever he leaves it to. If court says get it it goes to the kids or me to help take care of them if something happens. But i didn’t push it. But at this point in the game I think I am going to go back and ask for alimony and life insurance.

Life insurance because the job he has now isn’t that safest. Heck back when RC was working there they had one of their guys get hit on 95 and thrown why he was out there trying to hook up someone’s car. They drive around the clock 24/7 6 days a week on call most days he leaves at 7 don’t come in until sometime between 10 and 1 then back out at least once between 1 and 7. So they have had little to no sleep for days accident waiting to happen. I have just a basic plan on me and all 4 kids just enough to take care of us if something was to happen to one of us and I pay $13.25 a month. The 25 is in case something happens I become disabled they will take over and pay for it the rest of my life so that I still have it. So to take out enough to have him covered and to take care of the kids for a little bit shouldn’t cost him all that much a month.

I have decided I am going to ask for alimony because he still can’t do what he is supposed to do. Since he left he has not had the kids more than 24 hours in a month. The one day I had the job interview to go to and he told them he would work. I didn’t have a sitter last minute to watch them. Really it was his day to have them he should have been the one to come up with a sitter not me. But again it was left to me. Then last week he was supposed to have them never showed up I missed something else I was supped to do. He is supposed to have them tomorrow he calls an hour or so ago and says he has to work he will be off Friday and Saturday not Thursday and Friday. I’m supposed to go to the college and get my money straight and sign up for classes tomorrow. He don’t say I have to work can you keep them or I can get so and so to watch them if you have something to so. He just calls and says I have to work tomorrow. By that I know he don’t plan to pick them up. What if I was working or in school and taking classes and had class tomorrow? Then here I sit searching for a sitter. He knows I don’t have someone I can just call at the drop of a hat to watch them. He says if I was we would have a sitter they could do it. But like anyone else when they know they have a day off coming up they make plans and take care of things they need to get done because they are working like everyone else. They aren’t going to drop everything on a last minute notice all the time to watch them nor do I expect them too and they are going to want to be paid more so then what because he backs out am I supposed to pay extra? Because I know he will expect me to cover at least half and probably all of it.

I don’t think I am wrong for asking for any of it at this point. He is the one that drug this out till we have been together for over 10 years and he is the one who still don’t seem to care about anyone but his self and expects everyone to work around him and when he gets ready to get them. With his work he don’t even get them a full 48 hours or whatever. He gets off at 7 am picks them up whenever he gets here, then keeps them over night and brings them back sometime the next evening because he has to be back at work by 7 am the next day. Last week he didn’t pick them up until after 8 they didn’t leave here until after 10 and he was ready to bring them home as soon as they had eaten dinner.

Its jut really frustrating and aggravating because he again dose this poor me act and she is being such a bitch. Everyone buys into it. Even my mom but that isn’t surprising because to her I have never done nothing right and still can’t. But she is the one that is on her 3 rd divorce she has left all of them. One for almost the same kind of shit father of the year pulls but I’m wrong. I’m the one trying to get a job go back to school and things why she has sat ther for over a year and done nothing but cry how she has nothing and going to lose everything and refuse to file for SSI or get a lawyer to help her with falling down and getting hurt and things. Although she has talk to a few and doctors who say it is really bad and she has a strong case. Because she don’t know what she is going to do until she gets approved. Well its been a year and she hasn’t done anything and gotten by by now she would have her approval or whatever and not be in this boat still. And waiting to do the other thing because she can’t use the lawyer she wants because she can’t get to their office over in the other county. If that was me I would have applied while I was waiting on everything else and found another lawyer for the rest to at least have something started. If the case is as good as they say it shouldn’t take  to much to win it. Its cut a dry you have medical records from before that show nothing is wrong you have them from now that show a lot is wrong.

Then she talks about how she don’t know how I am going to get a job with the kids and do what I need to do and all this. But she is sitting right there 24/7 not leaving the house or doing anything and do you think she has offered to babysit. Nope. Well she did but she wants us to move in together she help watch the kids and blah blah. When I say no nothing is ever said. Now she says she will watch them if we pay her. I have no problem paying her. I just find it funny how me and my brother basically lived with my grandparents for a year or two that she never paid them anything so that she could work. Even when she had days off we hardly ever seen her. My dad had us every day that he had off and would come after work and spend hours with us most nights of the week. But then she talks about me not having a job and how she don’t know how I am going to make it with out farther of the year here and how I should just keep him here and I’m wrong for asking for anything from him. Just don’t make since to me. Everyone I know helps their kids out and helps them watch their kids or takes them on the weekend here and there to just give them a break. Not her she isn’t going to do anything and even if she says she will you better not count on it to much or make other plans because the odds are it won’t happen. It just don’t get her way of thinking when she had all the help in the world and thinks I shouldn’t even ask for anything and that she shouldn’t have to help. Just like her saying she will watch the kids I know that won’t last I need to get a job and find a place to put them or someone to watch them asap so that I don’t have to worry about it. But with no job and money I can’t tell someone what hours I need them days or how much I can pay when I have no clue what I am even going to make.

I better get off here we need to eat and get to church we have a guest speaker tonight. I’m just so frustrated with all this and the way he dose and how he is basically nothing to her and she treats him like she dose and I’m nothing.

[…] Wednesday me and father of the year got into it because again when he was supposed to take the kids and I had plans he told them he would work. That’s when I wrote Trying Not to Be A Bitch, But […]

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