{June 30, 2014}   A Big Desion To Make

My friend J has been in SC for about a month with her kids and grand kids. She got back Friday and I met up with her and her husband at the store tonight and we shopped and talked. As we went in she told me they are moving. They are going to move up there to be closer to their kids. They have no one here but her mom and sister. They aren’t super close. They miss their kids and hate watching their grand kids grow in pictures. They want to be there where they can be grandma and grandpa. I don’t blame them, but I am super sad and upset to see them go.

I told her I wanted to go I been telling her for a while I want to get out of here. She said come. I laughed, she said no really if I wanted to come to come. I told her I would only have my big boy’s SSI check until I could get a job and that I would need someone to watch the kids and things. I would know no one and have no one there. She said she would help me and watch them and things.

Like she said a new start and a new beginning. I want it more than anything. I just don’t know how I would get all my stuff there and to up root the kids on the spear of the moment notice like that. I know father of the year will probably have a fit and try to fight me. I said something to him about it when I got home and he said I want to go. How he didn’t want to be stuck here forever and things. I told him I wasn’t taking him with me. This was a new start for me and the kids and that if he wanted to go he needed to find a way and make it happen. Then he got a call so he didn’t really say anything.

I know my mom and my dad would probably freak out. My mom says all the time she wants out of here but they never go and never do it. I have waited and made plans all my life and waited I have to stop worrying about them and everyone else and just do what is best for me and my family.

If I was going to do it I would have to get on my divorce and get it done. I don’t want it following me and having it to deal with when I get somewhere else. If I get it taken care of before I go I will also have whatever he has to give me for child support to go on and help with things until I get a job.

I want to so bad I just have to figure it all out and weigh the pros and cons. Do a lot of research up there see what house’s job’s school’s and the like are up there. It may be a much better place for my kids and school as well this would make my school problems a lot easier as well. I know if I don’t let Father of the year go he will pitch a bitch and fight me. But if he really wants to be closer to them let him go to NC with his brothers. He won’t be right next to them but at least he could get a job get settled and then work on getting closer or come and seeing them. He is a big boy it is time for him to figure something out on his own not follow me and be up my ass all the time looking for me to help him. I don’t need another child I got 4 to take care of and have taken care of him for almost 10 years. Let his family do something for him for change.

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